tv 7 News at 11 PM NBC November 24, 2016 11:30pm-3:09am EST
fame-like quarterback, it's an honor to be in the huddle with him, you have a chance to make big plays. i'm grateful for him. i let him know about that today. >> you don't have all of your receivers healthy. they still cannot stop you. how come? >> the guy next to you. throwing opportunities. throwing me the ball. putting me in great positions to be successful. anytime he is opening up the pass, i'm grateful for this nt >> le'veon bell, another 100-yard rushing game. we had tony dungy up in the booth for a little while. and he compared you to franco harris. that same patience. when you hear that comparison, what do you think? >> i'm honored. you know, obviously, when somebody is comparing you to a guy like that, it makes you real humbling. and grateful. you know? i appreciate the comparison. >> you and i talked earlier. your second thanksgiving day game. when you were a kid, you loved
and there's kids out there watching you tonight. what do you hope they appreciated about the way you played? >> they appreciated some good football. somebody who is passionate about the game. obviously, you love the game of football. for whoever is watching, congratulations. >> guys, thank you so much. >> taking this to the linemen. >> take them to the lineup, whatever you want. and take the balls. take the football. take the football. >> happy thanksgiving. happy thanksgiving to everybody. >> mike? >> happy thanksgiving, michele. oh, beautiful. thank you. well, there's the playoff picture. this goes with the thanksgiving tradition. this is the night we start to see this. the playoff picture, unfolding in the afc. you slide pittsburgh for the moment, over there. on the 6-5, mark, with indianapolis, dropping to 5-6. houston leading their division.
baltimore for the moment. baltimore had a chance with nine teams in the afc, than they have. pittsburgh beat cleveland, indy was depleted here. do you get the sense that pittsburgh, they built confidence on what they can do on the defensive side of the ball? >> maybe. that's what it all comes down to. can they just find that formula, despite losing some key players back there? and this is the pride of pittsburgh. this is what they do every week in practice. they go one-on-one against the offense. and it looks like there's no way they're going to be able to make a play. and they make a play. sean davis there. and then, a nice play by timmons to get underneath that route. and mike mitchell comes up and makes a big hit on the quarterback, tolzien. and then, they catch a break here on the last one. but every, single one of those are competitive situations. and the pittsburgh steelers, at
football league. and it showed up on the goal line tonight. >> 16 points for 2 games, against cleveland and indianapolis. a big one against the giants next sunday. kansas city and denver on sunday night. we'll look ahead to that, as we continue from indianapolis, on the postgame in a moment. (my hero zero by lemonheads) zero really can be a hero. get zero down, zero deposit, zero due at signing, and zero first month's payment on select volkswagen models. this black friday at the volkswagen sign then drive event. ? this holiday,
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? you can't make it up, ? ? it's in your soul deep, ? ? it's in the stars, the stripes, this dirt on my feet ? ? not everyone can be an all-pro like jason witten, but anyone could save money with geico. ? welcome back to "the volkswagen golf alltrack postgame report." now, mike tirico and cris collinsworth. >> pittsburgh gets the win. we'll see pittsburgh and baltimore play on christmas. also see kansas city and denver on christmas. and the first match-up between those teams when we head out to the rockies here. tomorrow, the game for you on sunday night. denver coming off of a bye. kansas city lost to tampa. you get these teams right now, you know you're going to get good defense. >> no question about it.
all the time. von miller and the guys. now, with justin houston back for kansas city, derrick johnson, derek berry. this is going to be one of the fistfight battles. and it means so much. this is now, when we're getting to the games where the playoffs are clearly on the line, especially in this division. >> oakland plays carolina earlier. oakland is a game ahead. you lose this game, could you be two games behind oakland? limited time left. big pressure on both offenses because of the quality defenses, wire you have to make plays in this game. >> that's where the question is for these two teams. if they make a run, the offenses have to be better. >> enjoyed doing this on thanksgiving. let's do this on sunday. >> why not? >> denver-bound. look forward to seeing you from the mile-high city, on sunday night. here in indianapolis, pittsburgh beats the colts, 28-7. coming up next except on the west coast, your local news, followed by a new "tonight show," starring jimmy fallon.
on the holiday weekend. >> kim: a thanksgiving trooper tribute, football taking on a new meaning at the community rally, around the trooper's family. >> adam: and the president-elect works on through the holiday. the brady bunch share thanksgiving love on this holiday. realtime c >> kim: first at 11, a chilly night of shopping in peabody and elsewhere. opening their doors early on this thanksgiving. >> adam: some people waited until midnight to head out to the cold and hunt for the deals. let's check with the forecast with meteorologist bri eggers.
there, and we are seeing light showers and drizzle, i think. most significant showers, hardly anything to talk about on the outer cape at this point and main event continues so slide offshore and we are left with a damp, raw feel. and temperatures close to the freezing marks, 36 in fitchburg and north and west of 495, that i'm concerned about overnight tonight. and even if the temperature is at 33 or 34, two the ground, once moisture reaches the ground it could be at freezing and you have ice. you could get areas that do see ice forming, that chance will be north and west of 495, up round route 2, southern new hampshire and down through worcester. there is a potential for that, and please keep that in mind overnight tonight until 8 am tomorrow. travel weather tomorrow, looks quiet across the united nations
north west. and more on the extended forecast with what is left of the holiday weekend coming up. >> adam: people lining up around new england, here in the yc penney in gnash-- nashua, new hampshire. and some shop railroads getting started here. alex? >> reporter: hi adam, here at toys "r" us in peabody a line here, despite the rain, and despite the cold, this hoist ys across massachusetts stores will opened a midnight some everybody wants some of the black friday deals. in the rain and? the cold a small but diehard group of bargain shoppers wait. ashley is first in line, and on her mind is a limited edition nintendo game console. >> usually goes for $150 to $200 and today it is $100. they will be sold out pretty
together before the doors as toys "r" us open. >> how cold are you? >> really cold. very cold. the deep discounts makes it worthwhile for sis williams waiting to buy a howeverboard for her grandson. in new hampshire, jc penney in nashua opened at 3 pm a line stretched around the store. irjts did my thing early in the day. so i figured why not check it out. judge and baste camped out since monday. a spot they have had for last four years. electronics and whatever we can gegt or hands on. forget turkey, it's this family's tradition. the whole family spends thanksgiving together and this is what we have fun with. >> reporter: a live in peabody at the north shore mall, these shoppers all want some of the black friday deals, and again
open at midnight. and we are live in peabody, 7 news nightteam. >> kim: also from the nightteam, a wrong-way wreck on 495 is deadly. a man died after he drove north in the southbound lanes. smashing into another car and hurting that other driver. the nightteam's brandon gunnoe is live from foxboro tonight. >> reporter: the first call came to state police of the wrong-way reported. but by the time they got to the highway a deadly stt had taken place. -- a ddly accident had taken place. a 22-year-old man was driving the wrong way on 495 in plainville when he crashed into another vehicle and he died on scene. >> terrible as anything i can imagine because it should be avoidable. >> reporter: it happened early on thanksgiving morning on 495 south between exits 13 and 14 and the other car was 21-year-old woman.
rushed to a hospital with serious injuries. investigators are still trying to figure out where the man drove on the interstate going the wrog way and what caused him to do so in the first place. drivers say the inter-states and ramps are clearly marked. >> i never had my problems see the right way and wrong way, to go. but it is not an uncommon problem. which surprises me. >> died at 2 am was from norton. no one else was in the car. >> tragic. feel bad for the families. >> my thoughts are when you drive here it's no joke. you better be wide awake, didn't drink, okay, and if you are not fooling well, pull over. the girl in the other car from barn stall was taken to the hospital in rhode island with serious injuries. we are live in foxboro, brandon
>> adam: a home in salem new hampshire, you can see smoke pouring out of the home on haverhill road. the homeowner was taken to the hospital for smoke inhalation and a neighbor is also being treat forward chest pains. in weymouth a car crashes into a pole, and rams into a house, that happened early this morning on pleasant street. no word on any injuries or what caused that crash. >> kim: president-elect trump taking a brief break from the white house transition but he this thanksgiving, specifically on trying to save jobs. there are new concerns about how he is handling a critical part of his new role. jadiann thompson joins us with details. >> reporter: president-elect trump receiving criticism after it was revealed he decide not to receive daily u.s. sbel screens briefing, a choice in sharp contrast to president obama. donald trump celebrating his first thanksgiving as president-elect in his sprawling
he's if the just relaxing and tweeting trying to get car career ac company to stay in the united states. the company's indianapolis plant in the midst of a move to mexico was constant trump target on the campaign trail. they confirmed their conversations but so far no announcements. and sbel swrns officials are telling nbc news that he received two intelligence briefings sinced election, far fewer than the nearly daily that are expected. he is risking the security of the united states. >> reporter: some response they stressed that that is his top priority. one official cautions it is too torl draw broad opinions. who will be named next? all eyes on secretary of state. the top contendsers are new york mayor rudy giuliani, a trump loyalist and mitt romney, one of
primary. but today one of his top advisors seemed to pick aside with a tweet praising loyalty, a sentiment echoed by other trump allies. >> i could think of 20 other people that would be authorize naturally compatible with the trump vision of foreign policy. >> reporter: and another sign mr. trump may be moderating after waivering on nato as a candidate, today the alliance's secretary general says that h supports nato. in the newsroom, jadiann thompson. >> kim: troops overseas for the holidays doing the best they can to have a normal thanksgiving. service men and women fighting isis in afghanistan, were delivered thousands of pounds of food for their feast today. president obama spending part of his last white house thanksgiving along with troops overseas by giving them phone calls. he made 9 calls in all to deployed service member where he
and wished them that happy thanksgiving. the nightteam turning to a heartfelt thanksgiving tribute for a fallen massachusetts trooper and his family. a football game turning into this emotional memorial, for trooper killed in the line of dut any march. -- of duty in march. >> reporter: marlboro against hudson, all the fixings for a thanksgiving day matchup, the 113th for these two teams. here paused and remembered fallen state trooper thomas clarty. this morning the team honored his family. >> i'm very honored to be here today. a beautiful tribute for my husband and my family. >> that will be the heads and that willing the tails. >> reporter: a oldest son held his little brother,
>> they will see that everybody is in heing of us, and honoring my husband in a special way. >> reporter: it is all still hard to talk about. >> it is still raw. you know, still something that we struggle with. >> reporter: he was on the scene in march after another driver hit the trooper and a cruiser. he served in the marines with about him. >> he had a way with people. it tells you something, when you have someone that he arrested and they come to the barack it is pay their respects. we will take care of our own. >> reporter: she says her husband loved thanksgiving and for a moment before the game she thought he's here for this one, too. >> it was snowing and i thought
looking down. wishing he was here to see support from everybody. judge jennifer eagan, 7 news nightteam. annual macey boston christmas tree light willing kick off at 5 pm. this is last year, downtown on summer street, downtown crossing it will feature an appearance from santa claus. and boston city leaders lendsing a helping hand on noise holid mayor marty walsh teamed up to make happy holiday for families in need. >> reporter: boston mayor marty walsh gave thanks to the community on thursday. >> coming by and thanking people. the homeless population in our city. made good progress in the last couple of years but coming by and letting people know they pressure them. >> reporter: the mayor starting at st. francis house and carving
laurie higgins and meeting with residents. >> we gave us inspiration, about him being here in his presence. lifting our spirits. we don't feel left behind. a big thing. >> reporter: joined by police commissioner, the mayor made his way his senate family, to help serve meals who the homeless. 2,000 didn'ters are s the pine street inn, including 2,000 pounds of turkey and 700 pounds of mashed potatoes. for some in is the first thanksgiving they spent in a home in many years. >> the character of acy is seen in how we take care of those who need extra help. this is a place to live and for some it is easy put for many whether used to be in better situations, it has become really too hard. >> reporter: the day about more
but an opportunities for a community to come together. nancy chen, 7 news nightteam. >> adam: everybody comes together and does something nice and that is what it is about. the smileance love. and it's not over. still officially thanksgiving. >> kim: up next a happy homecoming for a new england family. >> adam: their four legged friend is back. >> bri: and we could see p tomorrow. and when will the sun be back? forecast is next. >> kim: tom brady passed on
>> cranberry sauce, mixing it altogether. a ghoul ash. grandma's mashed potatoance gravy sounds right about perfect. sharing some of the favorite things about thanksgiving and this video on twitter, they shared memories of high school football games on thanksgiving and said they are thankful for family time today. >> kim: and a look at tom brady's thanksgiving, thanks to this photo gisele shared on instagram. he's pretty good in the kitchen as well. pats' quarterback sharing that with him prepping the food and he wrote this: easy to feel thankful today, surrounded by people you love, good food and baseball, a great reminder of what is most important in life and how good it can be. >> adam: and julian educateleman
happy thanksgiving. a holiday centered around food, a healthy way to celebrate thanksgiving. hundreds of runners laced up their sneakers for the turkey trot in framingham. today is marking the 22nd year of this tradition. >> adam: more news tonight, a new england dog happying to home after a difficult rescue up in maine. the little girl named moxie disappeared this week. her. sarah french shows you. >> she's feisty and we call her the devil dog of the house. >> reporter: meet moxie a six-year-old miniature schnauzer the center of a dog hunt after she snuck past the gate of her maine home. as the hours passed, when owner got worried. >> she and friends were out in the woods speaker have youing anyone that we could find that
maybes, no one had seen her. >> reporter: after takes much searching a friend's search and rescue dog led them to a wooded area, but moxie was in where to be found. she was actually underground. and we said no we are not waiting until sunday and we are statisticking here, on saturday night. >> reporter: while in the rain butler's daughter began to dig through a web of underground tunnels to find her mother's pet. with one shovel and a couple of girls in the woods with a light. my mom called the fire department. >> reporter: several firefighters set up lights and picked up shovels and got to work. we know she's here but we can't find her and that was really upsetting. and i started panicking and i was surprised now looking back that no one hit me in the head what shovel. they are raising their hands, they wanted to.
the early morning hours, unphased by the entire ordeal. butler says she's so hankful for the help of the community to have her best friend back in her arms and she won't be letting go any time soon. in the newsroom, i'm sarah french. now 7 weather with meteorologist >> bri: >> bri:. bri eggers. >> bri: >> bri: premium outlets seconding away from opening. dressed up in their rain gear. in the a washout but heading to black friday but it will and damp and dreary day. we will want to bundle up and prepare for the law weather to continue. the main event with the rain and late showers sliding offshore, some areas of light drizzle, and late showers that we are in store for through the night tonight and through the day tomorrow. patchy fog that is setsing up
area, something to pay a tpgs late tonight. because we have the drizzle and the moisture in the air we also have temperatures near freezing, very close to freezing and two of these things together can cause problems. and so i do expect that there is a chance that we could see icy spots north and west of 95 and seeing reports of glaze forming on car tops and even on driveways and roadways, up around route 2, something we need to watch out for as we head through tomorrow. unfortunately, my forecast models seemed to have dropped out, and what you should have been seeing there, is the fact that we do have on again-off again patchy light showers and drizzle through the day tomorrow. patchy fog tonight, 33 to 42 for the overnight lows and temperatures that you saw there, that we are sitting at right now, not budging a whole lot. to tomorrow milder than the last
50s and damp and raw and hey not see the sunshine until we hit sunday. still a chance of showers on saturday and not a lot of rain in store and another one of the forecast models that dropped out. a quarter of an inch and best case scenario by the time it is all said and done. a system that wants to form and move in but it will miss us and stay out to sea, it looks like saturday and sunday, taking good snow into areas. and we get the shown back on sunday. and this is good news for ski resorts in northern new england, picking up maybe a half a foot of snow. so we are headed to the season. a look at the 7 on 7 forecast, temperatures in the 40s, lots of sunshine in store for monday and while we do see milder temperatures for next week we are in for very wet weather. happy thanksgiving everybody!
er bank, just make one deposit, withdrawal, transfer, or payment each month to waive the monthly fee. and there's no minimum balance. you're alright with simply right checking from santander bank. ? are you feeling alright, baby? ? and now time for 7 sports with trey daerr. >> trey: some things in life are great by themselves but sometimes they are better together. the pairing of football and thanksgiving is near the top of that list and at this points maybe we could be thank follow see tom brady on the field on sunday.
went down in foxboro, he was not part of it. sitting out his second straight practice with a knee injury. ben et cetera is dealing with an ankle injury. they did play through it last week and rob gronkowski limited today. pros do it for show but on on high school gridiron is all about pride. everybody who is not looking ahead to the super bowl i laying everything on top. reading taking on stoneham a touchdown, timmy russell. taking off the other way. sixty yards for russell. spartans run over the rockets 28-13. reading sets share sights on the super bowl. swampscott looking to cast a spell on marblehead. the final second before the half
taking out big blue, 27-6. latin academy in brighton each finishing a game, all even at 20, 32 second it is play. and he got him, on the go-ahead touchdown. bengals taking down the dragons winning a wild one 28-20. in all 50 states we give thanks. the sport of choice in america, hockey is a game in the owned by the pilgrims and north, the fourth thursday in november is nothing more than a hockey night. kevin miller made a debut in ottawa on thursday night. and david pastrnak back, and the 11th grol of the season. a power play struck.
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kevin james -- tim gunn -- musical guest the weeknd -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 578, yeah! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. welcome to "the tonight show," everyone. this is it. you made it. happy -- [ cheers and applause ]
hey! [ cheers and applause ] ? i get to spend it with you. spend it with you, perfect, perfect. oh, man, this is just exciting here. earlier today we had the macy's thanksgiving day parade. that's right. thousands of parents woke up extra early to bring their kids to the city, snag a spot in the front row only to hear, "dad, i have to go to the bathroom." you go, "yeah, i know. i knew you were going to say that." [ cheers and applause ] "i knew you were gonna say it. go in your pants." [ laughter ] i saw that -- i saw that s of the parade route was two and a half miles long and took about 90 minutes. yeah, while the float from kenya finished in just 60 minutes. but that's the fourth year in a a row. [ laughter and applause ] every year. >> steve: it's not fair! >> jimmy: i don't know how -- i don't know how it happens. check this out. i read that this year's macy's parade features 1,000 clowns. it got weird when macy's said, "we only hired 500 clowns."
[ clown laugh ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is interesting. [ laughter ] sorry, that's my ringtone. [ laughter ] >> steve: it is pretty funny. >> jimmy: i have a scary clown -- scary clown ringtone -- hold on a second, yeah. [ laughter ] this is interesting, though. it turns out the balloons for the parade came from new jersey. and, yeah. [ cheers ] and they actually went through the lincoln tunnel to get to new york city. yeah. to make sure they fit, they had chris christie go through first. >> steve: hey, hey! [ cheers and applause ] oh! >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa! >> steve: oh, oh! >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: whoa, hey! >> steve: hey! [ jersey accents ] >> jimmy: on thanksgiving. don't do it on thanksgiving. hey, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> steve: dvd! >> jimmy: jimmy, come on. this is for you. it's for you. take this. [ laughter ] meanwhile i read that donald trump and his family spent thanksgiving at his mar-a- lago resort in palm beach, florida. marking the only thanksgiving dinner where you are actually allowed to bring up donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] you've got to be really careful.
one day a year he can talk about legs, thighs and breasts without getting in trouble. [ cheers and applause ] so, it's perfect. >> steve: oh! hey, hey! whoa! oh! >> jimmy: i saw that snoop dogg just posted a 30-minute video of himself smoking weed, eating turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. [ light laughter ] yeah. asked if he was having a good thanksgiving, snoop said, "it's thanksgiving?" [ laughter and applause ] "oh, that's interesting. happy thanksgiving." a doctor in arizona said there is a 25 to 30% increase in emergency room visits on thanksgiving, but don't worry. most of the time, it just turns out grandma was just napping. [ applause ] there you go. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
[ cheers and applause ] ? you name it ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it is thursday. it is thanksgiving! [ cheers and applause ] and boy, we have a special show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] this guy is one of the funniest human beings out there. he's the star of "kevin can wait" and the new netflix film, "true memoirs of an international assassin." kevin james is here tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] funny man. funny man. >> jimmy: it's going to be fun. we have fun things planned out with kevin. he's always great. you want to stick around for that. plus, we love when he stops by. from "project runway," tim gunn is dropping in. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and we got great music. [ singing "star wars" theme ] [ light laughter ] ? >> jimmy: the weeknd is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is so talented, this guy.
it's going to be fun. he's, like, doing a cool medley, special for us tonight. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers ] >> steve: thanksgiving medley. >> jimmy: a fellow thanksgiving medley. you guys, today is thanksgiving. it's all about giving thanks. so, i thought, what a better day to write my weekly thank you notes? if i could do it right now, do you guys mind? [ cheers and applause ] got note cards here. i got my envelopes there. james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please? ? >> jimmy: wow. [ light laughter ] he's still doing the mannequin challenge. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] doing the mannequin challenge. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: he's been doing it for three weeks now. [ laughter ] >> steve: he's been doing it for, like, six years. >> jimmy: six years. >> steve: yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: six years, the longest running mannequin challenge. >> steve: yeah, he's been getting it done. he's the one who started it. [ laughter ] he forgot to put a tie on it. ? >> jimmy: thank you, "trolls" balloon at the macy's thanksgiving day parade for being the second biggest troll filled with hot air in new york city.
[ cheers and applause ] ho, ho, ho, ho! hey! [ jersey accents ] >> jimmy: "not today! jimmy, not today!" >> steve: "hey, hey, hey!" >> jimmy: "hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!" >> steve: "i forgot about it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "no, i mean forget about it." >> steve: "hey." >> jimmy: "no." ? >> jimmy: thank you, pilgrims, for dressing like tim gunn handed you a bunch of belt buckles and said, "make it work." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: a hat with a buckle. >> jimmy: a hat with a buckle, man. >> steve: buckle it up, man. >> >> steve: you don't know. you go outside, you go, "man, i wish that this hat was smaller." "buckle it up." ? >> jimmy: thank you, cranberry sauce for making my plate of turkey look like a crime scene. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: what happened? >> jimmy: yeah. do you like -- i love cranberry sauce. >> steve: do you really? >> jimmy: do you put it on sandwiches after? >> steve: no. i refuse to. >> jimmy: what are you talking -- >> steve: no, i don't want to do it. >> jimmy: "no, i refuse.
sandwich" -- >> steve: "made with home-made mayonnaise." >> jimmy: "home-made mayonnaise and aioli, saffron aioli." >> steve: "aioli, and i whipped that with an immersion blender." >> jimmy: yeah, so i don't do the mayonnaise. i do, i do -- >> steve: i know. you don't like mayonnaise. i love mayo. >> jimmy: i do the turkey. i do the turkey. i do the stuffing. >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: and then, i do cranberry sauce that acts as the mayonnaise. 'cause it's fun. >> steve: i usually take -- i usually take -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and, then i put -- i put -- >> steve: a hamburger on top of it? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. no, then just toast. toast is what i do. >> steve: yeah, you toast it up. >> jimmy: does everyone toast it? [ audience yells no ] see, that's where we switched it up. >> steve: yeah, you switch it up. >> jimmy: do you remember when i was on "saturday night live," and we called up the carnegie deli? >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: and i would order sandwiches for everybody in the writers' room, and i'd go, "can i get an al pacino? and can i get a, you know" -- because they were named after famous actors and stuff, all the sandwiches? and i go, "can i get a a jimmy fallon?" [ laughter ] and the guy was like, "what's that?" and i go, "i'll get an al pacino." "oh, i got that." i go, "robert de niro?" "yeah, now what was the other one you said?"
what is that?" "it's turkey with cranberry sauce." [ laughter ] now, they tell those tales. >> steve: now they've got it. >> jimmy: yeah, at the time. this is back in 1976. [ laughter ] >> steve: when you first started. >> jimmy: yeah, this is back when james started the mannequin challenge. [ laughter ] still doing it. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: still doing it. they call that commitment. all the commitment, jimmy baseball, mr. commitment. ? >> jimmy: thank you, crescent rolls, for looking like a a baby's thigh. aw. [ laughter and applause ] that's cute. >> steve: little ham hock. ? >> jimmy: thank you, macy's thanksgiving day parade for celebrating your 90th anniversary this year, which explains why this year, the parade wandered into central park and forgot how it got there. [ laughter ] it'll be fine. [ applause ] it'll be fine. don't worry about it.
going." ? >> jimmy: thank you, tiny espressos, for not being called "mug shots." [ laughter and applause ] a thinker. >> steve: nice. >> jimmy: it's a thinker. >> steve: you open up a chain of those. ? >> jimmy: thank you, gourds, for being a squash that's going through its awkward years. [ laughter and applause ] and finally -- ? thank you, the kids' table, for being a fun place for kids and any adult who doesn't want to talk about politics. there you go, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] those are my "thank you notes." i'm so thankful for you. happy thanksgiving. we'll be right back with kevin james, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: oh, i love that song. thank you, roots. our first guest stars on the popular new television series "kevin can wait", which airs mondays at 8:00 p.m. on cbs. he has a brand new action-packed comedy film called "true memoirs of an international assassin." it's now streaming on netflix, just in time for the big thanksgiving holiday weekend. please welcome the very funny, the always entertaining, kevin james! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: welcome back! >> that is a -- that's a heart
>> jimmy: that's a heart rate checker there. thank you very much. always know how to make an entrance, my friend. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. thank you for spending part of your thanksgiving holiday with us. >> happy thanksgiving. >> jimmy: were very a -- [ cheers and applause ] very thankful that you're here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you -- do you enjoy a big thanksgiving? do you do all the a -- >> no, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't mean that. i meant, do you enjoy -- do you celebrate it? what's your favorite holiday food? >> my favorite? if i had to pick one? >> jimmy: on the menu -- on the thanksgiving menu. choice right there. [ light laughter ] i like them all. the thing with me though -- i like, simple foods. like the classic. you know, that's the thing with me, when i do a holi -- that's why i like doing it at my house, 'cause i can control it. you go to someone else's house. i just like the classic -- the basics. we got turkey, you got your mashed potatoes, you get your stuffing, you get cranberry sauce -- and i like the cranberry sauce, out of the can with the rings on it. i want to see that thing on the plate. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: me, too. that's my favorite. >> nah, that's the worst.
blackberries, or something like that. that's the five worst words i can hear from anybody, is that we made our own stuffing. i don't want to hear that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> yes. stuffing? come on. i mean, the people at stove-top, they know what they're doing. let them do it. [ cheers and applause ] honestly, every day for 100 years, these people drive to a building that says stouffer's on it. they go in there, and they make stuffing all day long. and you in your little kitchen in wankankama, are going to try to ban [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: wankankama. >> it's literally, that's like me going -- you know what? i'm gonna go into the olympics next year. i'm gonna be the one -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so, yeah. what are you gonna to do? >> ah, it doesn't matter. i'll figure it out when i get there. >> jimmy: we'll throw some chutney in there. yeah, exactly. ah, but how are the kids doing? they're doing well? >> kids are amazing. i have four kids. four -- >> jimmy: wow. >> you have two girls, right? >> jimmy: i have two little girls. yeah, three and two. >> girls are amazing, right? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: they're great. i love them so much, yeah. >> they're the sweetest.
she's such a -- an angel. she'll literally stop playing -- the others are great. but she comes and she'll make a a point of it, she'll come up to me and say, "daddy, can i talk to you." and say "yeah, honey, what's up?" and she just said, "i just want you to know", she'll grab my hand and she goes, "i just want you to know i love you so much." [ audience aws ] i know, i know. and then i'm like, "i love you so much." and she's like "no, no, no. i love you more than anything." and i was like, "i love you more than anything." and then she literally said to me, she goes, "no." and she said this, she goes, "i love you more than ice cream." [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] what do you say? i'm not gonna lie, i was like, "thank you." i don't know. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's, she's taking it too far. >> yeah, come on. >> jimmy: i can't do that. >> i'm like, i love you more than cottage cheese. but let's not get -- i'm not going to lie to my kid. come on. >> jimmy: frozen yogurt, maybe. >> yeah, we'll talk about it. >> jimmy: how's your son though? he's old, he's getting old. >> my son is getting -- he's age five now. he's a good -- you know, boys are crazy. the a -- this was wild.
on my chest, and the action just kind of slowed down. and he -- kids just do this. he just looked at me, and i didn't know what was happening. but he sneezed, right in my mouth. [ laughter ] and i threw up on him immediately. immediately. [ laughter ] immediately, like right -- like right away. it was like bang-bang. that's how fast it happened. no, but the reason i tell you this is, my wife got mad at me for throwing up on him. like -- like i meant -- she was like, how can you? that's your own flesh and blood. why would you throw up -- would i throw up. like i made a conscious decision, to like you know -- >> jimmy: yeah, and you can just do that too, yeah. >> yeah, you know, honey, he sneezed on my mouth. we should -- take away video games. you know what, check that. hold his legs. i'm going to throw up on him. [ retching ] >> jimmy: it's almost there. hold up. yeah. and are you anything that you're not good at as being a a dad? i mean, is there anything one day you're like, "well, i'm not the best at this." >> i'm not -- i'm not good at answering -- like my father knew -- i don't know. he knew everything. any question i ever had, i
how does, you know, the tv work? he would explain it to me. and i just, i don't have that. if i don't have like, the internet near me or something like that, my kid will just -- she'll be like, you know, how do you make ice cubes? and i'm literally locked up. i'm like -- [ laughter ] i know, i mean i'm like well, what happens is the water gets -- at a certain point it gets very cold, and then it -- and she knows she kind of has me. 'cause then she'll be like, she's like, "well then what happens?" i'm like, "well, then it freezes." she's like, "but how does that happen?" and i'm like, the um, the mole -- uh -- >> it's magic. i go to that a lot, i go it's magic. >> jimmy: yeah, you've got to do that. all right, i'll use that well. i'll use that. 'cause i don't know how to explain it. >> i'm horrible with it. >> jimmy: i'm loving the show "kevin can wait." and congratulations, on your giant hit. >> thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's the biggest show on tv. it's funny. it's also -- you know, going in not knowing the show, and not knowing what could happen i just loved it immediately, right off the bat. and it's like kind of like a a comfort food.
i love the four-camera shoots, and i love the old shows that just made me feel like, you know, with a song in the beginning, and then just go into it. >> jimmy: and it looks like you're having fun. >> it is. >> jimmy: please, can't we just have fun? >> that's it. it's really what it is. it's a great cast. it's with sandler, with ray romano. they were great. ah, we've had a bunch of guys. and it's just so much fun. we got -- i got billy joel coming up, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's gonna be on the show? >> yeah. i'm not supposed to say anything. but, i don't care. care. oh, wow, oh my god. >> yeah, he's awesome. >> jimmy: he's the greatest. >> yo, he loves you by the way. >> jimmy: well i know, i love him, too. oh, man and then you have the -- netflix movie as well. this is called, "the true memoirs of an international assassin." >> yes. >> jimmy: i love it. >> i know, i play -- >> jimmy: i love it. i'm in already. i mean, you're great. [ cheers and applause ] >> i know, yeah, thank you. >> jimmy: you know, it's -- it is not really the true memoirs of an international -- >> no, no. i play an author and a deadly assassin, which i'm not sure which ones harder to believe. it's a bit of a stretch for both.
>> jimmy: i can see -- i can see you as an author. >> i don't know. i -- i don't know. the last book i read was "clifford the big red dog." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a classic. that's it. did you get to the end? yeah, it's pretty good. >> yeah, but it -- no, it was a a fun movie, 'cause it was a a stretch for me to play this stuff. and i had to literally learn all these crazy moves, and learn how to fight. and i never shot a gun before. i really never -- never really -- so they taught me, and they said to make sure your finger's always on the outside of a gun, 'cause you gotta be careful. unless you're going to shoot it, unless you're firing it. >> jimmy: on the ring, on the outside? >> yes, yes. you always keep it on the outside, unless you're ready to fire it. and then you put it on the trigger. and during the whole movie, i have my hand on the outside of the gun. i'm like, not -- until i'm ready to shoot. and then when i was shooting they said, they took me aside and they said, you've gotta -- you've gotta stop doing this one thing. and i was like, "what is it?" and they go, you're going -- you're saying bang with your mouth. [ laughter ] i was literally -- i was like -- i go, "you're out of your mind." i go, "i'm not doing that. i'm not doing that." and they played it back for me. and i'm going "bang, bang, bang."
so, yeah. >> jimmy: no, that's fun for everybody. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, yeah. well, i want to show a clip. the idea, is basically that, to sell this book someone made up a story, so that you really are -- >> they made it true. i know a lot of stuff about that, and i get mistaken for an international assassin, and then i get abducted. so it's pretty crazy. >> jimmy: i want to show a a clip. here's kevin james in "true memoirs of aninternational assassin", now streaming on netflix. take a look at this. >> look, what we have seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot here. >> no, the foot of you and not the ghost. >> what makes you so sure? >> the ghost would never have been kidnapped so easily. >> it's a fair point. but, you know, maybe i wanted to be kidnapped. >> and maybe you're a fraud. and a liar. or maybe i kill you right now. so, what is the ghost going to do about it? >> that's a good question. [ grunting ]
[ cheers and applause ] >> all right. all right. >> jimmy: what? >> come on, man. >> jimmy: that was awesome, man! >> no bang there. no bang there. >> jimmy: no bang there. break and flip! more fun with kevin james when we come back, everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ? i just see a black screen. what are you looking at? crazy stuff, man. you've gotta see this. what--what is this? it's like some 3d virtual world. can i see? oh yai yai yai yai yai yai.
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were actually on a show together. do you remember this? >> oh. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. you're talking about -- you're talking about "point pleasant." >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. the show was called -- [ cheers and applause ] "point pleasant police department." >> yes. >> jimmy: and it took place in lovely point pleasant, new jersey. [ cheers and applause ] we played two detectives. we couldn't see eye to eye so we'd get in a lot of arguments. >> right. most people, they think of us as comedic actors and players and stuff like that. but this really, it was a a stretch for us. this was intense. i mean it was -- two cops would get in a lot of arguments, and always seemed to end up in messy situations. we actually have a clip from the popular thanksgiving episode. >> are you kidding me? >> jimmy: yeah, would you like to see it? take a look at this. this is pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] ? ?
>> you, too, pete. [ laughter ] you -- you appear to be pretty peppy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: probably because sergeant parker picked me for a a promotion. >> pardon? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i repeat -- sergeant parker picked me for a a promotion. [ laughter ] [ sputtering ] [ laughter and applause ] >> remember, pete, we are all -- [ laughter ] part of the point pleasant police department. don't put yourself on a a pedestal. [ laughter ] capiche? [ laughter and applause ]
[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, watching it back now, it's even more intense than i remembered. [ laughter ] >> it was very, very in your face. they were very in your face. >> jimmy: you have a goatee? i [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well we actually have another clip from that same episode. >> we do? that was a long one -- >> jimmy: oh, no. this is more better for my character, i think. take a look at this. [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: potatoes, palmer?
[ laughter ] i'm actually -- [ laughter ] i'm actually pretty parched. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, perhaps you'd like some pinot grigio. [ laughter ] [ sputtering ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: say that again? [ sputtering ] [ laughter and applause ] >> pinot -- pinoa. >> jimmy: pinot pinoa? >> yes. [ laughter ] it's a different brand.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm on the edge of my seat. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can -- feel, literally feel the emotion in that scene. >> yeah. you can pretty much taste it. and re-taste it, y >> jimmy: you're not going to believe -- [ laughter ] you're not going to believe this. i think we have one more clip from that episode. [ cheers and applause ] >> not the dinner scene? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> was it the dinner scene? >> jimmy: it's the dinner scene. and this one, the tension just really comes to a boil and things get out of control. check it out. [ cheers and applause ]
>> well, pete. [ laughter ] it's been a pleasure. protecting the point pleasant -- [ laughter ] people with you for p-thanksgiving. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's not even a p in that word. p-thanksgiving? [ laughter ] [ sputtering ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: just like the pilgrims. >> precisely.
>> pretty good, pete. [ laughter ] but there is one piece missing. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we were pretty good policemen. >> pretty good. i'm proud of the performance. >> jimmy: my thanks to kevin james. check out his new film, "true memoirs of an international assassin," now streaming on netflix. stick around. we'll be back with more of "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: that was so fun. i love him. we are joined right now -- we're having a good time. aren't we tonight? this is so fun. [ cheers and applause ] it's only getting better. it's only getting better. we are joined right now by "new york times" best-selling author and emmy award-winning host of "project runway," which is currently in its 15th season on lifetime. ladies and gentlemen, give a a warm welcome to tim gunn! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: tim -- >> jimmy, you clean up well. that was unbelievable. i actually thought it was pre-taped. it wasn't. >> jimmy: oh, no, that was all -- >> unbelievable. >> jimmy: we have the best hair and makeup, wardrobe. they're the greatest. they clean everything up. i still got stains everywhere. >> i was convulsing. >> jimmy: i have whipped cream -- oh my gosh. >> convulsing.
i've had you -- we have been friends for a long time. so happy to spend a little thanksgiving with you. >> i'm thrilled to be here for thanksgiving. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they all love you. you have a thanksgiving memory. i know you were telling me backstage. you had a -- you had a good dog. what was your dog's name? >> spotty. my very first dog. i loved and adored her. >> jimmy: she was a bad dog? >> well she was -- >> jimmy: mischievous? >> mischievous. >> jimmy: yeah. >> she liked to have a good time. my mother was cooking in the kitchen. it was hot. she opened up the kitchen door that led to the backyard. there was a screen. spotfo dove through the screen door, made a hole, charged out into the woods. and i was ready to go after her. my mother said, "no, no, no no. she'll run around, she'll come back." well, she did. mother had set the table. we had the turkey and dressing and everything. and spotty came back, bounding through the screen door in the hole, and deposited this gray, furry mass of blood and bones
[ light laughter ] but i have to say, she was neater and the rabbit was neater than you and kevin. >> jimmy: oh, yes. [ laughter ] oh yes, thank you. i appreciate that. sure. >> nice and contained. >> jimmy: people are going to be hitting the gym tomorrow. i was saying to you back stage, you look -- that you're extra fit. >> thank you. >> jimmy: really great shape, bu you look extra fit. >> i have never -- [ cheers ] thank you! i have never been more fit. and i will tell you why. >> jimmy: explain this to me. so, why? >> i met -- >> this incredible individual. dynamic, inspiring, an olympic medalist -- silver -- silver medalist. three-time olympian by the name of -- >> jimmy: swimming. >> no, tim moorehouse. >> jimmy: jim moorehouse? >> fencer. and he opened a fencing club and i met him. i'm always talking about life's serendipitous path. you never know where it's going to take you. well, it took me to him. and i went to the fencing club and thought, "this looks really intriguing." i mean, at age 62, it was a a year ago, i'm going to become
i mean, hasn't happened to me in my entire life. >> jimmy: let's not go that far. [ laughter ] >> no, it's happened to me. i have been bitten by the bug. >> jimmy: a jock? i mean, fencing? >> and tim moorhouse got me into my first pair of sweatpants. honestly. [ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: you did not wear a a pair of sweatpants. >> i do, every single workout. abso -- yeah, five days a week. >> jimmy: who makes these sweatpants? >> j. crew. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, not bad! >> a brand you know well. >> jimmy: yves st. laurent i thought you were going to day. but fencing, you wouldn't think, i don't know how -- it's tricky. >> it's incredibly daunting and difficult. and i fence saber and we saber people are snobs. there is epee, there's foil, and there's saber. >> jimmy: here's a picture of you -- >> oh, you have one! >> jimmy: this is the real deal. >> and those are the sweatpants. [ cheers ] and that's tim morehouse. >> jimmy: hey, that's pretty fantastic. >> but it's really -- it's so carefully choreographed and the moves that you make have to be precise. you can't just flail -- i thought you just flail about with the sword. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i mean, you can but you will be disqualified. i'm loving every second of it --
so good. >> well, thank you. >> jimmy: this is fantastic. "project runway," every time you come on, i go wow -- is this another -- can you believe it's 15? >> i can't believe it. [ cheers and applause ] i can't believe it. it's unbelievable. >> jimmy: 15 seasons. it's always great. do you like the finalists? this year? >> yes. very, very much. >> jimmy: this year you like them. 'cause last year you were kind of -- >> i was over last year. over it. [ light laughter ] but this year, we are back on our game. i'm crazy about our six finalists. semi-finalists, i will call them. it's a great, great, great season. >> jimmy: you did something at -- over at universal studios. >> we did, in orlando. we loved it. >> jimmy: which i love, because i have -- you know, this is very exciting. we have our own ride coming out in the spring. we do. >> how fantastic! [ cheers and applause ] what is it? >> jimmy: it's a simulation ride called "race through new york." >> oh, perfect. >> jimmy: the roots are in it. higgins is in it. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: it's just like you're at the show. but, anyways, it's the most exciting ride. do you like roller coasters? >> i have a love-hate with roller coasters.
>> jimmy: don't like them at all. >> well no, no. i'm kind of an addict when it comes to roller coasters too. i really love them, but i scream like a little kid. >> jimmy: yes! that's the fun of it. i want to go on with you. >> if you and i do it together and we're both screaming, fine. except i want an ambulance at the other end. >> jimmy: no, no, it's not like that. this is like more -- it just goes this way and that way. >> oh, all right. >> jimmy: you get hit with -- you go in the east river. you get hit with water. you smell pizza at one point. >> how fantastic. >> jimmy: it's the most fun ride. and you would just love it. [ cheers and applause ] i love the didn't you love the theme park? >> i'm crazy about it. crazy about it. >> jimmy: i love theme parks in general. i just love them. orlando, you just see families, they're just out there, everyone's having a good time. big smiles on their face. i just go -- our show belongs here. >> everyone is having a great time. so, when does it open? >> jimmy: i think it opens in the springtime. bit i'll email -- i'll email you and we'll do it. >> i will be there. >> jimmy: in the meantime, i will see you fencing. >> yes. >> jimmy: hey, you're a good man. >> thank you. >> jimmy: tim gunn right there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "project runway" airs thursdays at 9:00 p.m. on lifetime. we'll be right back with a a performance from the weeknd
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>> jimmy: oh, this is a a special, special performance by a special, special artist. he's a grammy-winning, oscar-nominated, record-breaking artist, who is out with one of the biggest albums of the year. performing "i feel it coming", and the title track to his new album "starboy," give it up for the weeknd! ? ? tell me what you really like baby i can take my time ? ? we don't ever have to fight just take it step-by-step ? ? i can see it in your eyes cause they never tell me lies ? ? i can feel that body shake and the heat between your legs ? ? you've been scared of love and what it did to you
been through just a simple touch and it can set you free ? ? we don't have to rush when you're alone with me i feel it coming i feel it coming babe ? ? i feel it coming i feel it coming babe i feel it coming i feel it coming babe ? ? i feel it coming i feel it coming babe ? [ cheers and applause ] ? ? i'm tryna put you in the worst mood ah ? ? p1 cleaner than your church shoes ah milli point two just to hurt you ? ? all red lamb just to tease you ah none of these toys on lease too ? ? made your whole year in a week too yeah main main out of your league too ah ?
your league too ah house so empty need a centerpiece ? ? twenty racks a table cut from ebony cut that ivory into skinny pieces ? ? then she clean up with her face man i love my baby you talking money ? ? need a hearing aid you talking bout me i don't see the shade switch up my style ? ? i take any lane switch up my cup i kill any pain ? ? i said look what you done ? ? i'm a i'm a starboy look what you done i'm a i'm a starboy let a brad pitt legend ? ? of the fall took the year like a bandit bought momma a crib and a brand new wagon ? ? now she hit the grocery shop lookin lavish star trek groove in that wraith of khan ? ? girls get loose when they hear this song hundred on the dash
? we don't pray for love we just pray for cars house so empty need a centerpiece ? ? twenty racks a table cut from ebony cut that ivory into skinny pieces ? ? then she clean up with her face man i love my baby you talking money ? ? need a hearing aid you talking bout me i don't see the shade switch up my style ? ? i take any lane i switch up my cup i kill any pain look what you done ? i'm a i'm a starboy i said look what you done look what you done ? ? look what you done i'm a i'm a star i'm a i'm a starboy ? ? yeah
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks, thanks, thanks to kevin james, tim gunn, the weeknd! [ cheers and applause ] ? look what you've done ? oh! so good. the roots right there of philadelphia, pennsylvania! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend! hope to see you next week! happy thanksgiving!
[ cheers and applause ] ? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, a special thanksgiving edition of "late night" featuring hillary and larry meyers. josh meyers. we'll play "how well do you know featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. how are you? [ cheers and applause ] happy thanksgiving to everyone here. happy thanksgiving to everyone at home. and because it's thanksgiving and because a lot of people who maybe spent the whole day trying to avoid talking about politics, we are not going to mention politics tonight. happy thanksgiving to you.
but we are going to get to the news. [ light laughter ] president obama pardoned two turkeys for thanksgiving yesterday which is scary because one of those turkeys told the parole board that he would kill again. [ laughter ] according to a report from the calorie control council, the average american will eat upwards of 3,000 calories during thanksgiving dinner. of course, the next day it's back to the usual 2,900. [ laughter ] the 90th annual "macy's thanksgiving day parade" was today. and performers included tony bennett and the muppets. "it's nice to meet you, mr. bennett," said a fan to someone that wasn't tony bennett. [ laughter ] jeweler, helzberg diamonds is running a promotion where you'll get a free xbox if you spend over $1,000. or you can spend less than $1,000 and you'll just get a free ex.
nasa engineers are reportedly working on a fuel-less engine that could theoretically take astronauts to mars in less than 70 days. in other words, less time than it took you to get home for thanksgiving. [ laughter ] apple has announced that it will be offering surprise black friday deals this year. while samsung announced surprise fire sales. [ laughter ] [ cheers andpp i've never been more confident that a joke is going to work. [ laughter ] than the joke i'm about to do right now. [ light laughter ] justin bieber punched a fan in the face this week in barcelona. [ light laughter ] authorities there have charged him with athault. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
know you got a good one. [ light laughter ] and finally, the president of south korea is facing public outrage after it was discovered that she used government money to buy over 350 viagra tablets. her staff could face stiff penalties. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. a continuing thanksgiving tradition here on the show, my family is here. the guests tonight are hilary meyers, my mother, brother, josh meyers. we will also be playing another edition of our hit game show "how well do you know your meyers?" so you're here on a fantastic night. also this year the thing i am most thankful for is my beautiful wife gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. and, well i'm the father for a first time. and it's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] this time of year. it is fantastic to have family. and a lot of people have said, "will you have your baby, ashe,
about the same amount of people always ask, "will you have your dog, frisbee, on the show for thanksgiving?" and, the reality is it is past ashe's bedtime. so he can't be here. and frisbee is scared of everyone and all things. [ light laughter ] but i did not want to deny everyone our awesome baby and our awesome dog. so here is ten seconds of my baby dressed as a turkey and my dog dressed as a pilgrim. ? [ audience aws ] ? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i think if you watched that, you could tell if my baby could talk, he would be saying "this is great, i love this." and my dog would be saying "i will murder you in your sleep." [ light laughter ] anyways, that brings me to this. i am 42 years old. i'm married now.
when i don't know the new slang terms teenagers are using. and this day -- these days, it seems like teen slang terms are evolving so fast that it is impossible to keep up and there are some new terms that are actually, these are new teen slang terms that are actually inspired by thanksgiving. so we here at "late night" decided to give you a little primer on these new teen slang terms in a segment we call "seth explains teen slang: thanksgiving edition." ? [ cheers and applause ] let's start with this one. "cornucopia." this is a popular new teen slang term, let's see what it means. the array of drugs you brought with you to survive holidays with the family. [ light laughter ] here it is in a sentence, "i have xanax, and weed but if grandpa starts talking trump, i'm gonna have to break out the vitamin k." #corncucopia. [ scattered applause ] moving on, our next thanksgiving teen slang term is "touch football." here's the definition, when you bring your girlfriend home for
of your parents walking in so you just do over the shirt stuff. [ light laughter ] let's see it in a sentence, "mom kept kicking in the door asking if we were hungry while me and melissa were inside. luckily we were just playing some two handed touch football." [ light laughter ] moving on, our next slang term is "cranberry sauced." let's see what it is, it's when your aunt gets drunk before the turkey is even out of the oven. [ laughter ] let's see it in a sentence, "the whole family hadn't even arrived yet and aunt linda was already stripped down to her bra singing 'i will survive.'" #cranberry sauced. heard of a "turducken" which is a chicken, stuffed into a duck, stuffed into a turkey. well this new slang term is "turduncle." and it's a relative who gained so much weight since last thanksgiving, it looked like they swallowed a person who swallowed another person. [ light laughter ] for example, "uncle pete sat down to thanksgiving dinner looking like he ate uncle jeff and uncle dave. [ light laughter ]
here's the definition, a car full of white people driving to an indian restaurant. [ laughter ] for example, "hey, josh, tyler and brad, i could really crush some saag paneer right now, fire up the mayflower." [ scattered applause ] next up we have, "pumpkin pious." it means the person at the dinner table who insists you say a prayer. for example, "mom's weird friend crystal wouldn't let anyone start eating dinner until i said grace. somebody tell that bitch, we jewish." [ light laughter ] #mezuzah on the door [ laughter and applause ] our next teen slang term is, "leftovers." here's the definition, the kids from your hometown who never left. [ laughter ] for example, "don't go to the diner on first street when you're home for thanksgiving, everyone there is a leftover and they want to catch up." [ light laughter ] next up, we have "pardoning your turkey." what does it mean? well it's when you were planning to masturbate but then decide
locked myself in the bathroom but when i closed my eyes all i could see was my topless aunt linda singing 'i will survive.' decided to go ahead and pardon my turkey." [ applause ] our last teen slang term is "macy's parade." it's when your cousins go outside and smoke weed and then float back into the house. [ laughter ] for example, "sean and patrick disappeared for, like, two hours during thanksgiving, then they hovered into the house and ate the full turkey before dinner." #macy'sparade. w slang: thanksgiving edition." we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ? ? enjoy your phone! you too. (inner monologue) all right, be cool. you got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at&t... what??.... aand you got unlimited data because you have directv??
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody, give it up to the 8g band and fred armisen on the drums. [ cheers and applause ] thanksgiving. let's look at that video one more time. ? >> seth: here's my impression of ashe getting into his turkey suit. [ light laughter ] and here's my impression of frisbee getting in her pilgrim suit. [ growling ] [ laughter ] now, if i may before we continue, there's something i
well, you know, i usually don't air my personal opinions on the show and this one has actually gotten me in trouble in the past. but i'm sorry, i have to say this, thanksgiving is too close to christmas. >> at this point in the broadcast, seth launched into a 60 second obscenity laden tirade about thanksgiving and his opinions about its proximity to christmas. network policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a technical issue, we were unable to edit this portion of the show. in summay, seth li two turkey-eating holidays within a month of each other is totally wack. [ light laughter ] he suggested the fitness industry was in bed with the holiday industry, just trying to fatten people up to sell gym memberships in january. [ light laughter ] he paused to wonder who benefits most from this arrangement saying "i bet santa gets all the free equinox classes he wants, which probably isn't a lot. let's face it, dude is a chunker." [ laughter ] seth then turned his aggression towards thanksgiving food,
[ light laughter ] which is accurate, however, he also claimed you can't spell "oboe" without "boobie" which is inaccurate and also irrelevant. [ light laughter ] seth then began listing things he'd rather do than go shopping on black friday. a list that included fist-fighting a gorilla, sticking his junk inside a nutribullet and drinking an entire bottle of window cleaner. [ laughter ] then sensing the audience didn't believe him, he lifted up a bottle of window cleaner, unscrewed the top and drank nearly all of the bottle. [ laughter and applause ] he quickly followed this by saying, "and yes, mr. demille, i am ready for my close-up." [ light laughter ] seth then turned to the close-up camera and smiled the worst smile you ever did see. [ laughter ] seth then complained that having to see your family twice in two months was just too exhausting, claiming "they're always up in my grill." at which point seth's brother, josh, came out from backstage
to which seth replied "don't call me buttmunch, douche-nozzle." [ light laughter ] to which josh replied, "don't tell me what to do, fart-knocker." [ light laughter ] to which seth replied, "try and stop me, chode-smoker." [ light laughter ] to which josh replied, "make me, turd-burglar." to which seth replied, "eat my farts, dill-weed." to which josh replied, "ooh, dill-weed? that's quite the insult coming from a dill-hole." [ light laughter ] "dill-hole" was apparently a step too far and seth's feelings were so hurt that josh felt immediate gut. [ audience aws ] realizing he had crossed the line, josh began apologizing profusely. things seemed to calm down as they went in to hug, but then josh kneed seth in the dick. [ laughter and applause ] at this point, seth's mother said, "larry, we have to do something about this." to which seth's father replied, "i'm going to give my love to the winner." [ laughter ] nbc would like viewers to disregard seth's opinions about thanksgiving, as they do not reflect the network's position and do not make any sense. we now resume our broadcast. >> seth: and you can take the
woo! that felt good to get off my chest. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ? ? hon, i don't know if i deserve this - i don't really work with my hands. you change a ton of diapers! your usual? not for me - for him. would you like an oatmeal scrub? i already ate, actually. hon, we listen to carol. make my eyes pop? is this supposed to happen? (screams) i'm just kidding. we should do this more often. hold hands? no, sit in crazy chairs. get together and shop small on small business saturday. small business saturday is our day to get out and shop small.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: there they are. third year, we start letting you guys be in sketches. [ light laughter ] so i want to start by saying, we're going to obviously talk about our family a lot. and i feel like we need to say that. because as you've pointed out in the past, there was a time where i took some liberties with our family history. >> yes, it's true. in seventh grade you had to write a family history, which all the kids said it was a big year-end project. other kids are interviewing their grandmothers and grandfathers and so we kept saying to you, how's it coming? you say, yeah it's coming, it's good. it's good. want to call grandma?
yeah. [ light laughter ] and so, and hilary was a teacher in the same school that he went to, so if he didn't do a good job, she was going to take -- hear about it. >> seth: yeah. >> and, but anyway, the night before, how's the family history coming? i'm all set. we go to bed, we wake up, we could hear the printer in the morning printing. [ light laughter ] so like really good parents, we completely forgot about it and hilary's cleaning out the backpack and i come home from work and she said, here's the family history. so i start, i read the first page. at the bottom it says i can't wait to turn the page. the teacher wrote this. so we flip it, read the second page. at the bottom, it says what an interesting family. now, the highlight of the second page was that my grandmother who emigrated from lithuania with
according to his history, she was an olympic equestrian. [ laughter ] and, anyway, yeah it's seventh grade. it's four, five pages. he comes home that night and i remember saying to you, i said, well, i read your family history. you said, "dad, i got an 'a,' it was really good." [ light laughter ] and i said, yeah, but it's not our family. [ laughter ] and he said, what were they going to do, fact check it? [ laughter ] >> seth: i took advantage. >> he took advantage. >> seth: i took advantage of a hole in the system. >> that's right. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i should mention, by the way, you have a cocktail right there, mom. i have a cocktail here. do you guys have your cocktails there? >> yeah i'll get you one, here you go. >> seth: there's yours. >> i kind of -- >> seth: oh you're nervous. you don't want to have a drink yet? >> i'm too nervous. last year we did this in the daytime. and it was much easier for me. but now, what time is it at night? i mean i've -- >> seth: well the fact that you don't know is troubling. [ laughter ] also backstage --
what time it is three times. in the last half hour. >> seth: i think the more problematic thing was her saying, "it's so much easier to have a drink in the daytime." [ laughter ] >> i didn't say that. >> seth: all right, now i want to ask her this, because i think a lot of people are at home right now might be going to high school reunions. that's something that happens over thanksgiving weekend. but both of you have your fifty year reunion this year. >> 50th high school, yes. >> seth: and you both went to each other's high school reunion and josh, dad called you -- >> called me from mom's phone, >> yes. so we call my mother, hurry. it's a nickname. and so my phone rings, and it says hurry. i answer, i say hurry. because that's what you do. [ light laughter ] but it was my father, it was yarry. he's like, hey, i'm at this reunion, it's awful. [ light laughter ] i don't know anyone. these people are so old. i'm like, they're exactly as old as you are. [ laughter ]
[ light laughter ] and i was driving, i was going to a friend's house to watch the college football game and he's like, like, can you -- do you want to talk? i was like, well, i mean, i'll talk for the rest of this drive. and he's like, i'll do anything to not -- >> i don't want to go back in! >> he's like, i can see how much i remember of "green eggs and ham," like i'll do anything right now. >> seth: there you go. >> yeah. >> seth: now, but you, you found out about a guy you had a crush on. >> yes. >> seth: he wasn't at the reunion, right? >> seth: this was your high school crush. >> yes. >> seth: and nothing ever happened with him. >> no, he would come to my house all the time. >> seth: don't sound so disappointed. [ light laughter ] >> so he had in high school, he had one of those 5 o'clock shadows. nobody had that. >> seth: uh-huh. >> crazy, swarthy, big, tall, greek guy. >> seth: okay. >> like a greek god. [ light laughter ] so, anyhow, i always -- he never asked me out.
>> so i'm at the reunion, i'm sitting there, and his best friend sits down next to me, he says, "oh my gosh, mark was crazy in love with you." i said, no way. i said, "why didn't he ever ask me out?" he was too shy. said, "why wouldn't you ask him out?" i said, "in the sixties nobody did that." [ light laughter ] right? >> seth: yeah. >> i was a good girl. >> seth: yeah. >> so then the next night i go to my book group. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. [ applause ] >> i shudder to think what he's doing. >> seth: so you go to your book group. >> so the next night i go to my book group,and there's eight women there, my friends, and i relayed this story. >> seth: sure. >> and they said, "well, do you know what he looks like?" and i said "no, i just have his high school reunion picture." >> seth: sure. >> they said, "you know you can google people." >> seth: oh, right. >> i said, really? >> seth: yeah, you had no idea. >> no 'cause i don't -- >> it's in all the papers. google. >> but i didn't know that you could get a picture of somebody. >> seth: right. >> so the next thing i know, they showed me the picture. >> seth: a current picture.
>> a dead ringer. [ laughter and applause ] a dead ringer. >> seth: you got a type. >> i do. >> seth: so in the end it was -- >> well, he was swarthy and greek. i don't know what happened to him. [ light laughter ] >> i don't have my phone on me. i don't exactly have a beard. like, i haven't shaved since last thursday. so, i don't know. >> seth: there you go. well it all worked out, i think. 'cause, i mean, you could have ended up with him. he looks the same but then you wouldn't have poshy and i. >> that's right. it all worked out perfect. >> seth: all right, we'll be right back with more "late night" with the meyers.
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say fromage. yeah no expression whatsoever. good choice. okay. little sis, step on up. hey, out of my shot, special ed. >> hey be nice. they're just kids. >> they drew first blood, not me. >> guess now isn't a good time to tell you i'm pregnant. >> you're preggers? >> i'm kidding. i'm kidding. >> it's not really bad time to talk about how many rugrats we're going to have.
today, i'm not so sure. >> seth: welcome back to "the late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that was my brother, josh. and a clip from the second season of his show, "red oaks" on amazon prime. check it out. it's a fantastic show. and so now we're back, very exciting. one of the things that's happened this year obviously, is you're grandparents for the first time with baby ashe. and has it been as exciting as you thought it would be? >> it's pretty exciting. >> yeah it's great. >> yeah. >> seth: we post photos every day, videos every day so you guys can keep in touch. >> yes. >> seth: you were very excited he started crawling. >> yes. and i didn't know you could do that. videos and pictures every day can come to people. [ light laughter ] who knew? >> seth: google and video in the same week, this must be a real -- you know, they also have watches that tell you what time it is. [ light laughter ] >> i just have a bracelet. >> you should see her expression when she opens the mailbox and sees the mail. [ light laughter ] wow. >> seth: how does it happen? >> i will say on the video front, like, i'm so happy that he's crawling now. there was a video last week. and he was sort of tricked with
because it was like, i love him and he's adorable, like, it's undeniable, but there was to me, there was a really dark period of just when he first started eating solid food. >> seth: yeah. >> it was like 45-second videos, like, he really loves this salmon and asparagus. [ light laughter ] and he was just, like, be mashing the food against his face and it's like, he's so cute and he's so great. >> seth: so you were happy with the crawling video. happy that that's happening. >> absolutely. >> yeah. it was, yeah. because i was also waiting for [ light laughter ] >> that he would eventually get the food in his mouth. >> yeah. there's never a turn. >> seth: well look, i'm going to give him all these notes. [ light laughter ] >> please, please. >> seth: and i think this is actually a nice segue because the meyers family is obviously very honest about how they feel about things. giving notes is something that certainly you two have never been loathe to do. josh, there's -- you've been watching every episode of the show. >> yeah. >> seth: anything you feel like i've improved upon? >> well, i love you sitting at
standing monologue, you would say, how's everybody doing, are we well? is everybody well? which is grammatically correct, but you sound pricky. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you don't do that anymore. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, um. [ laughter ] and now, dad, recently you got on the phone with me, and this isn't really a note for me, you have a note for some guests. >> yeah, most of the guests, if you watch other talk shows, [ laughter ] but if you watch other talk shows, you see they cut to commercial, everybody sitting there, they're having conversation, maybe it's real, maybe it's put on, but on this show every now and then, just as they get ready to go to the commercial before they do it, a guest starts to leave and it drives me crazy, like they can't wait to leave. >> seth: yeah. and he called me and said, you got to do something about that. [ light laughter ] and i said, well, we tell them not to do that. he said, you got to tell them again.
this is the message. >> velcro, something. >> seth: one of the other things about having a baby that my wife is most afraid of is we, as a meyers family, have a vocabulary that was created when we were babies. >> right. >> seth: so we as adults already have baby talk as part of our life. >> yeah. >> seth: my wife is afraid we are going to teach him baby words as adults and he's going to think those are the real words. like just some quick examples. i'll say the word and you guys can in unison say what the meyers family calls them. banana. [ light laughter ] >> seth: elephant. >> hensent. >> seth: dinner. >> dinwars. >> seth: yeah, yeah. and so alexi has voiced her concern about this, to you. >> yeah well she -- like, we all -- you all call me posh. >> seth: yeah. >> and like alexi slipped at one point and called me posh. and that was sort of the first dipping her toe in the water. >> seth: she didn't want to call you posh. >> not at all. >> seth: yeah. >> and she also has said to us, like, oh, dinwars is ready. and it's a slip, but we just use these words so often.
>> because we're not going to change. >> seth: yeah. >> no. >> seth: as we mentioned, our nicknames, hurry, yarry, poshy, soofie. ashe, you've been saying ashe is a tricky name to make a nickname. >> yeah, because it's like your names are one syllable but you can make them longer but can't really -- i can't figure out what to put on ashe. >> seth: yeah, ashey just is not as much fun. >> ashey, no, it's not good. >> seth: but you actually, years ago came up with what you wanted to call the first grandson. >> poncho. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] real quick? >> yeah, when i was a kid, there used to be a tv show called the "cisco kid." and the "cisco kid" was sort of the hero and his sidekick who was kind of comic relief was poncho. and so, not only do i want to call him poncho, but i don't want to be called grandpa, i want to be called cisco. [ laughter ] and if you saw the pictures earlier, he's comic relief. let's be honest, you know. >> seth: yeah. well i think the days -- 'cause
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? >> seth: welcome back. it's thanksgiving, which means it's a great time for families to find out how much they know about each other. and we're the meyers family, so it's time to play "how well do you know your meyers?" [ cheers and applause ] ? ? >> seth: the game is simple. i will ask my family trivia questions about the meyers family. now, if you've watched in the past, you'll remember my beautiful assistant, cassandra. unfortunately, she's in the hospital so we are joined by her sister, classandra.
[ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> seth: i was so sorry to hear cassandra was in the hospital. >> she's not in the hospital anymore. >> seth: oh, that's good to hear. >> she died. >> seth: oh. [ light laughter ] classandra, is that true? [ laughter ] all right. i'll take the cards now. no, i -- we need them. i need that. [ laughter ] give it up for classandra, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] josh, the first question is for where was the worst vacation we ever took as a family? >> busch gardens? >> seth: classandra, show me the answer. molasses pond. [ laughter ] that was the answer we were looking for. >> why didn't i get a chance? >> seth: what? >> why didn't i get a chance? >> seth: that's not how it works this year. >> oh, my gosh, i already would have been 1-0. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. >> which you also claim you love that you loved that trip. >> seth: did you like molasses pond?
deserve a point. [ light laughter ] mom? >> yes? >> seth: you ready for your question? >> yeah, i hope i know it. >> seth: we're going to show you a video on this tv screen. >> okay. >> seth: mom, tell uses what this is. [ indistinct chatter ] >> i don't know. it's you two somewhere. but what -- >> seth: let's try looking at it one more time. >> all right. are you on a - are you on a subway? i don't know what it -- [ laughter ] >> seth: classandra, show us what it is. it was a face swap video. >> oh come on -- videos, you know my history on videos. [ laughter ] no fair. >> seth: but subway was a good guess. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> there was also a tornado when we went to busch gardens. >> seth: that's true. there was a tornado. it was still better than [ bleep ] molasses pie. [ laughter ] dad, when josh and i were little, what would you call us
>> dirt ball one and dirt ball two. [ light laughter ] >> seth: classandra? that's right. [ cheers and applause ] classandra, give my dad his first point. and of course, points here in the meyers family are sheep dogs because we've only had sheep dogs for our entire life. and what have been the five sheep dogs' names, dad? >> the first one was albert. then there was albert. [ light laughter ] albert. >> albert. and albert. >> seth: yeah, there you go. that's right. [ applause ] all right. moving on to round two. josh? in high school, you ran for student council president. on one of your posters, you put your head on the body of a male model. the text on that poster read "it's a good day for the women of west when josh does" what? now, before we continue with round two, i want to remind you in round two of our game, you can ask a baze. ? in this case, baze is our head
so if you need help with a question, much like phone a friend on "who wants to be a billionaire," baze is here for josh. here for you. josh, the question is for you. in high school, you ran for student council president, on one of your posters you put your body on the head of a male model. the text on that poster read, "it's a good day for the women of west" when josh does what? >> i'm going to ask a baze. >> seth: all right. baze. in high school, josh ran for student council president. on one of his posters he put his the text on that poster read "it's a good day for the women of west" when josh does what? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] you know why i don't know? i didn't grow up with you. and when you talk about growing up, i don't listen. [ light laughter ] you know why? i'm busy writing a monologue every single night. and don't take this the wrong way, but the rest of the world doesn't breathlessly follow the exploits of the meyers family. [ laughter ] >> oh, that's cold.
[ laughter ] you're not the house of windsor. also, you're too close with your family and it's weird. [ laughter ] you know what, next year we should do "how well do you know baze?" the first question is for you, seth. where am i from? >> seth: what? [ laughter ] >> we've known each other 15 years. where am i from? >> seth: the states? [ light laughter ] ou [ light laughter ] >> seth: well, that backfired. [ light laughter ] all right. back to you, josh. high school, you ran for student council president. one of your posters you put your head on the body of a male model. the text on that poster read, "it's a good day for the women of west" when josh does what? >> forgets to wear clothes. >> seth: classandra? forgets to wear clothes is correct. [ cheers and applause ] and we actually have a photo of that poster. [ laughter ]
>> seth: moving on, mom. the question is for you. >> oh, gosh. >> seth: when josh and i came home from school, what was our most requested snack? >> all your meats and cheeses? >> seth: all your meats and cheeses. classandra? that's correct. [ cheers and applause ] >> wait, wait, wait. where did you grow up, on a cruise ship? [ light laughter ] want to know was a snack was at the baze household? some hard tack and a pack of >> seth: do you have anything else to add, baze? >> yeah, happy thanksgiving. i'm going to go write some jokes. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: definitely -- definitely the last year for "ask a baze." moving on to you, dad. [ turkey gobbling ] oh, and that sound means it's time for a video question. and tonight's video question comes from actor/comedian extraordinaire, retta. retta, fire away. >> the question is, who was
afterparty the year seth hosted the emmys? >> seth: dad, who was mom hitting on at the afterparty, when i hosted the emmys? >> i have a two-part answer to that. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> the first part is idris elba. >> seth: okay. >> and the second part is, i'm going to miss baze. >> seth: oh, yeah. i'm going to miss baze too. >> i'm going to miss baze. >> seth: the answer is idris elba. retta, what did you have to say? >> the answer, idris elba. i see you hillary and i feel [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. give another point to my father, classandra. [ cheers and applause ] all right. we go to round two, what do we got, we have two for my dad, one for josh and one for my mom. it is the final round. classandra, how are you doing? >> sad. >> seth: why, because cassandra's gone? >> no, because baze left. i agreed with a lot of what he said. [ light laughter ]
so you also think my family is weird? [ light laughter ] okay. here we go. final round. [ bells jingling ] oh, and that sound means we're switching it up and it's time for how well do you know your ashes? ? okay. in this round the questions will be about my wife's family, the ashes. my in-laws who are not here because they are currently getting dinner ready for us. so the first question about my in-laws is for you, josh. watch our beloved pittsburgh steelers play the colts on nbc. how many members of the ashe family will join us? >> zero. >> seth: classandra? zero is correct. [ cheers and applause ] my wife's family thinks sports are dumb and a waste of time, and yet they are cool with karaoke. [ light laughter ] mom, the next question is for you. [ party horn plays ] and that sound means it's time
my father-in-law, tom. take it away, tom. >> what band inspired me to move to new mexico? >> seth: what band inspired tom to move to new mexico? >> the grateful dead? >> seth: the grateful dead. tom, give us your answer. >> the eagles. [ audience groans ] >> seth: i'm sorry. >> how was i supposed to know that? >> seth: well, you got to listen to tom. i know it's hard. [ laughter ] also, interesting fact, the eagles also inspired tom to marry a witchy woman. i'm just kidding, joanne. [ laughter ] oh, man. there's going to be a heartache tonight. [ light laughter ] dad, are you ready for your question about the ashe family. >> i'm ready. i'm ready. >> seth: dad, the ashe family is making thanksgiving dinner as we speak. when the ashe family prepares a meal, what is the ingredient you are least likely to find? >> gluten.
gluten is correct. [ cheers and applause ] and dad has a bonus question. what do you think of a thanksgiving without gluten? >> it sucks. [ laughter ] >> seth: classandra? it's [ bleep ]. we'll accept it. and if you're watching, ashe family, i'd like to quote the eagles and say, "take it easy." i think that means you win, dad. this has been "how well do you know your meyers?" we'll see you next year.
every year. i also want to take a minute here to thank our incredible crew that does this with us every year and every single day. our incredible writing staff, our incredible producers. i want to thank the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] so thankful for you guys. fred, always so thankful to have you here. and we actually, this is the first year where we taped this show on wednesday. i know you're watching on thanksgiving and you probably thought this whole time we were doing it on thanksgiving. but that's the magic of television. we knew the whole time it was wednesday. and so did the whole audience. but we did want to make sure that our entire staff had a chance to go home to their families for thanksgiving which is why we changed it and taped on wednesday, and next year when they come back and say, please, please, do it on thanksgiving, we'll shift back. [ light laughter ] but also i want to thank my family who have been so incredible every time i've had them on the show. so a round of applause for my mother, hilary. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for my father, larry,
give it up for my brother, josh, down on the end. [ cheers and applause ] and i also sincerely want to say i'm so thankful for my incredible in-laws, joanne, tom, ariel, and tolya. but mostly i'm thankful for my incredible wife, alexi, our dog, frisbee, and our son, ashe. and i -- it's been such an incredible year. i owe it all to my beautiful wife, alexi. so i want to say i'm thankful for you, my love. and hopefully you're watching but you most often, more nights than often, you don't. [ laughter ] and, yeah, so that pretty much wraps it up. so once again, stay tuned for carson -- wait, no we're not done. [ laughter and applause ] that's like the thing. [ applause ] that's like the thing you -- >> you should have told me. >> seth: no, we told you. [ light laughter ] >> should have told me more than once. >> seth: all right. and also, i want to thank retta for playing along and giving us one of the questions for "how
thank you. bob mould performs from echoplex, tonight. professional snowboarder travis rice is our subject of the spotlight. but right now we're going to feast our eyes on "ash vs. evil dead" star lucy lawless, have a look. ? ? >> for people tuning into our show who maybe aren't used to seeing you with your current hairstyle? >> oh, handle it. eo do they have a right to be? >> no right whatsoever. it's my body, okay? i'm lucy lawless, handle it. ? [ screaming ] ? >> jacksonville, i love you! >> we love you too! >> i know you do.
>> son of a bitch. not again. >> oh [ bleep ] ? >> hit me with adjectives that describe what this show is. >> ferocious. fast paced. horrific. scary. vulgar. hilarious. >> oh you need my help. here's what i need. i need to be back in jacksonville on my second keg of beer, putting my spicy man meat into a mother daughter sandwich. >> part of me is already regretting calling you here. >> get used to that feeling. >> dumb, misogynous, racist, has to save the world for all of us. he's our only hope. and now 25 years later, he's an old, dumb, misogynous, slightly racist, who still has to save the world, and he's hampered by this ragtag lame bunch of codependents, of which my
>> oh [ bleep ] what a mess. >> ruby is the worst friend you ever had. selfishly she's gone and spawned all these wicked little demon children, who grow up like spawn will and become horrible teenagers and rebel. and now she's in a bad way and she needs ash's help to put them back in the box. m? >> you will die like all the others. >> ladies first. >> this if pure campbellism. this is bruce campbell magic. i am bruce's creation. did you not know that? because when i was doing "xena," the producer, rob tapert, who i eventually went on to marry, set me up with his buddy. this bruce campbell guy and we had to go do this big long walk in auckland, new zealand. i'm like "who's this clown? why do i have to take a walk with some dude i don't even know?" and he had been set up to give me a good long talking to about how to be a good star. how to be a well behaved star. and now that he's a crusty old bastard, i'm there to like throw
yeah, bruce and i we're like this. >> that is horrible. and also awesome. >> which is everything that i do. ? >> he has a sort of larger than life persona, this character that he does. and he just charms the fans by telling them that they're stupid and they smell bad and he's used to like throwing small bills at them for, you know, rewarding them. and they just eat it up. if i said to my fans "you stink, and i really don't care what you think." they would crumple, you know. ca relationship i have with my fans, but these guys just love the abuse. ? >> can you name the different kinds of fluids we see on this show? >> well it's what they used to call in the 1600s the humours. so there is blood, mucus, urine.
we don't have menses yet. those are like menstrual blood. but i guess they were saving that for the third season. oh vomit i forgot vomit, oh yes. i've been covered in demon vomit for, oh days at a time. it's like being waterboarded, but i think i was so concerned about like eating the stuff, i remember having it up my sinuses for three days. have you ever had that after a really big night out, and you've got this piece of potato stuck in your sinus for like three days, after vomiting. do you remember that? i remember that as a tna the relief. anyway that's what a day at work is like on the set of evil dead. ? >> for those that don't know how did you get "xena?" >> i was this kid and an american series came down to shoot and it was very sort of glamorous and big. nothing we'd ever seen before. and then at the last minute they had this three episode arc of a character called "xena the warrior princess" and she was bad. and the actress who was slated
and everybody else in hollywood turned it down, but then i was the lucky local kid on the spot, and i got the gig. this is how stupid i was. i just thought "this is what always happens. you do an american show, and it becomes and it spins off into its own series and you became real famous." and, you know, i thought that was normal. ? >> carson: that was lucy lawless. "ash vs. evil dead" airs sundays at 8:00 p.m. on starz. still to come, travis rice and the music of bob mould next. ? is depression more than sadness? ? it's a tangle of multiple symptoms. ? ? trintellix (vortioxetine) is a prescription medicine for depression. trintellix may start to untangle
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>> this is called "the descent" ? ? i started out so starry-eyed full of hope and wonder ? ? and i wore flowers in my hair not aware i'd been defiled ? ? every time i see you i know it's going down how can i believe you? karma comes around ? ? i know this ride you must be there by my side you're going down i must be descending ?
? i didn't want to play this song that gave people so much hope ? ? i turned my back and turned away here's the rope that made me choke ? ? every time i see you i know it's going down how can i believe you ? ? karma comes around you can see it in my eyes you can read it on my face you can hear it as i cry ? ? god i hope it's not too late
? can i try to make it up to you somehow ? ? ? ? ? ? you can see it in my eyes you can read it on my face you can hear it as i cry ? ? god i hope it's not too late can i try to make it up to you somehow can i try to make it up to you somehow ? ? now my race is finally run as i tumble to the sun all these dreams
? brough me crashing to my knees ? ? my descent has not begun all the music left undone my world it is descending oh yeah ? ? my world it is descending oh yeah my world it is descending oh yeah ? ? my world it is descending my world it is descending oh yeah ? >> carson: that was bob mould right here on "last call," pretty cool. his 2016 album is called "patch the sky" and we'll be right back with snowboarder travis rice and his new film "the fourth phase," next. ?
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? >> carson: welcome back. travis rice has been called one of the most influential snowboarders of the last 20 years. currently, you catch him starring in a new film that follows his epic journey around the north pacific. it's called "the fourth phase," and it is the subject of our last call spotlight tonight. let's head over no vacancy for ? >> you can jump out of a window, a four-story building if there's three feet of powder on the ground and land, and it's good. you know, essentially a down comforter covers this brutal and rocky terrain, and it's just filled with, like, you know, marshmallows. kittens and rainbows, it's magical. [ laughter ] ? my name is travis rice.
talk our new film, "the fourth phase." ? ? we live out in wyoming, right? we're on the western slope of the continental divide. that's where the water melts and goes back into the pacific. and when you take a look at the north pacific as a whole, it moves. it rotates. it's called a gyre. and so, the energy in water within that takes almost three years to do one clockwise rotation aroung the north pacific. so, we wanted to follow the energy. we wanted to follow the water to better understand where our weather comes from. ? we really skirted along the pacific rim. we actually snowboarded on japan. we get so much snow. it's kind of coined as "the
we went up northeast up to the penninsula of kamchatka and spent a bunch of time there. it's the most volcanic place on the planet. we spent a good amount of time up in alaska, which for snowboarding, i mean, there was a lot of great places to go around the world, but alaska, when it's good, it gets no better. ? comes to, say taking the air on a snowboard, it really doesn't last long, say a couple seconds. a really, really, you know, big jump with a lot of hangitme, maybe upwards of four seconds at the most. it goes by quick, but when you're actually hitting these things, quite often, i find the experience time dialation. you have a lot of time in your own head. the time's literally relative, which you're standing on the side with a stop watch and -- [ clicks tounge ] "okay, two seconds, three sec -- okay." it doesn't seem like that long.
one of the reasons that we do it is because it's not so much about having the time to think in the air, it's putting you in a place where you don't have to think, where you're comfortable. and that's a state of action reaction. ? snowboarding in the back country, without a doubt, there's a lot of factors that come in, and there's dangers. i mean, there's a reason everyone's not there, just enjoying themselves. and seeing as how we're chasing the best conditions we can find, to places where it snows a lot. and where it snows a lot, you have avalanches. and yeah, in the film, i get swept over a cliff in an avalanche. it's a heavy part of the film, but, you know, it's a -- it's a reality that comes with doing what we do. ?
provides us the ability to have more speed because we need speed in order to operate. it's definitely been said that while, you know, most people are trying to avoid certain things on the mountain and in the back country, usually we have our eye on utilizing it. ? for us, it's to a point where it's, you know, it's creative what we're trying to do. and the geological oddities, the stuff that we're looking for, the weird stuff, the is strange stuff, is just one more thing that allows us a challenge for a, you know, equation to solve. and so, inevitably, yeah, banking off a tree, tapping off a rock, or finding some strange thing to interpret, i mean, that's -- that's what we find. that's what keeps it interesting. >> that's art for you.
>> carson: that was travis rice. "the fourth phase" is incredible, and it's right now. we'll be right back. ? look how big my hands are. yeah. ooh. rawr. how much am i making for this again? hundred k. win or lose. total cake walk. ooh oooooooh! her last opponent is still in a coma. what? i should go walk my cats. no. no no no. amy, get in there and fight for your life. isn't there an easier way to make a hundred k? everyday through black friday. i'm going to old navy. ahh! it's 50% off wednesday through friday only at old navy!
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a new movie coming out, he's in a band. >> and then the gorgeous diane lane is here, she starred in dozens of movies, that steamy "unfaithful." >> "under the tuscan sun" you have not lived or been to italy. >> she's a few blocks away from here, doing something she hasn't done before. >> and while the wine is flowing at thanksgiving, so will the conversation conversation. something to keep you entertained, even the children. >> i hear that 1 million more people are going to be traveling this year than last year. i wonder that's because gas is not that expensive. >> nine out of ten of you guys are going to be -- nine out of ten of you guys are going to be traveling by car. bring games for the kids. >> the top four destinations
las vegas. >> for thanksgiving. >> it's not exactly a religious one. >> a lot of people are escaping their families as well. not everyone adores their families like you and i do. >> new york also makes sense, because of the macy's day parade. we have some instagram stars to share with you 37 a lot of us love our dogs so much we start looking like our pets. >> i wish i was that cute. >> there's kath and hers. >> topher brody and his dog named rosenberg are no exception. they become instagram stars, people keep telling them they
they teamed up with a photographer and the pictures became viral hits. he's very introspective, he likes to sit back and watch while looking wise and regal and super adorable. >> so his account is topherbrophy. >> i feel guilty if i don't put a coat on if you walk the streets of new york, they have coats -- >> they already have a fur coat. >> i can understand boots to protect the paws from the salt. >> this is going to make you upset. >> this is the 1955 good housewives guide. back in 1955, housekeeping
published an article called the good wives guide. >> it described the ways women should act to be the perfect companion. >> take a look at this 1950s instructional field called marriage is a partnership. >> at first monday morning, i was so proud of my man going out to earn a living for us. cooking and keeping house, and sometimes those things can seem unimportant and dull. believe me, the wife does appreciate her husband's appreciation. and, of course, that works both ways. i tried to learn about pete's job. sometimes i shared his enthusiasms, and there were times when i had to help absorb his frustrations. it was all part of the
[ laughter ] >> i was two years old. >> that's good. >> i was very much alive then. and actually, my parents marriage at the time, was very similar to that. it was the norm. >> it was the leave it to beaver sort of. >> yes, yes, now you can't even say that any more. it's just -- nothing's the same. >> here, by the way, these are the rules that they had in th >> if you want a happy marriage. >> housewife's guide -- >> no, housekeeping monthly. >> who cares, it's not around. >> here we go, before you see him, take 15 minutes to rest and check your appearance. this is hysterical. >> never complain if he's late. or even if he stays out all
that day. >> give him a seat. >> doesn't he know where a seat is in his own house. >> arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. >> this is true, everybody. always let him talk first. be happy and try to be interesting. >> speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. >> that one does work. >> don't ask remember, he's the master of the hou house. and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. >> who is this guy? >> you have no right to question him. >> you were alive then, okay? >> i know it, and i'm not proud. catering for his comfort. all the guys are looking around like, i wish i lived there.
provide you with immense personal satisfaction. that's actually true, making another person happy does make you happy. >> but in that list it makes no sense. >> and finally, a good wife always knows her place. >> if you know somebody like that, we'd like to have you on our show. we really would. there's still people that think there's nothing wrong with any of that wife anyway you wan the to, right? >> you do, it just sounds like, you're at his beck and call and get on your knees and say thank you. and if he stays out all night and is cheating wildly, you say, thank you for coming home this morning, can i get you breakfast. >> because you had options, but you came home to me. for years in the bible, the bible talks about wives be sub missive to your husbands.
hippothsso. you know what it means? it means to reach down and lift up in loving support. completely different than being sub missive. >> which is what every one of those things says to be. >> we have something called emoji lips. closeup on donna's lips, let everybody see. >> it's really >> it's also on my eye. >> but on the lips it looks like you got the disease. i'm sorry. >> you can stick them everywhere you want. >> they have to get a closeup of your lips and eyelids. $10 for a pack of mini-tattoos. >> they're on your eyelids and lips. >> they feel a little bit dry, but pretty fun for the most part. >> i think what did really is,
mood. >> what kind of mood are you in? >> well, check it out. >> i mean, i like you, but -- >> adorable. and very kissable. >> be sure to kiss your waitress. >> you know what time it is? >> friday funny. jokes for the kids for thanksgiving day. which means they're going to be stupid. >> what did the turkey eat on thanksgiving. >> nothing. he was already stuffed. why do pilgrim's pants always fall down? >> i don't know. >> because they wear their belt buckles on their hats. what did the turkey say -- you have to really listen to this one. what did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on thanksgiving? >> i don't know. >> quack. quack. >> really?
duck. >> maybe the -- >> i told you to pay attention hoda. >> maybe the hunter was hunting for duck. >> that's why i said pay attention. the thanksgiving hunter was the turkey hunter. >> you can always find us on sirus xm 108 mondays and wednesdays at 2:00. >> we have guests. >> ways to keep big and little anksgiving what the??? you're welcome. i just helped you dodge a bullet. but i was just checking my... shhh... don't you know that checking your credit score lowers it! just be cool. actually, checking your credit score with credit karma doesn't affect it at all. are you sure? positive. so i guess i can just check my credit score then? oooh "check out credit karma today. credit karma.
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[ female announcer ] the following is a paid presentation for the keranique hair regrowth system, brought to you by keranique, the women's hair-growth experts. there's a problem shared by over 46 million women. it's like this taboo subject that we all want to pretend isn't really there. it's -- it's embarrassing. you know, if you don't talk about it, maybe it's not happening. [ female announcer ] women with this problem feel embarrassed, frustrated, and alone. like, even with a close girlfriend, i'm embarrassed to talk about that. [ female announcer ] the condition is female hair loss. my face, it looks good with my hair pulled back. but i can never do it. i'm so ashamed. i wish that it wasn't like this. deep inside, you really don't want
[ voice breaking ] but it's just, like -- it's, like, what do you do? you don't know what to do. you don't talk about it. [ sniffles ] if you're one of the millions of women frustrated, stressed, or worried because you're watching your hair fall out and you don't know what to do or where to turn, there is a solution. you can fight the fallout and regrow your hair, and that means you don't have to feel less confident, less beautiful, less you anymore. it's easy -- as easy as washing and styling your hair. [ female announcer ] take a look at these pictures. this is what a hair-regrowth treatment designed especially for women can do. it's a scientifically proven way to regrow your hair. it's miraculous. it's amazing. -this is all new hair. -it's awesome. it actually really works. my hair is back. my problem's solved. [ female announcer ] if your hair's thinning, you are not alone. you need to keep watching, because you'll learn all about a way to restore and regrow hair with a product that's scientifically designed
science that helps women regrow their hair with clinically proven ingredients with the beauty that makes their hair look thicker and fuller. [ female announcer ] keep watching. today, you'll hear from women who've lost their hair and have grown it back with the number-one hair-regrowth system in america designed exclusively for women, and it's clinically proven. my hair grew back. keranique gave me my hair back. i use keranique, and it's changed my life. with keranique, i got my hair back. hair, new hair grew on my head. [ laughs ] [chuckles] it's keranique. it's amazing. ? for all women, hair is important. it's probably the primary way you express your style and your personality. but more than that, your hair makes you feel confident. that's if you have a good hair day. a bad hair day can make you feel awful. losing your hair can be devastating. fortunately, there's a real solution. keranique is the number-one
omen. the reason? it's scientifically proven. keranique works, and the proof is right here with me today. just look at the women in this audience. each and every one of them got their hair back. they got stronger hair, thicker hair, healthier and more beautiful hair with keranique. [ applause ] [ female announcer ] every woman in our audience today was suffering from noticeable hair loss and found their answer with keranique. and today, you are going to hear from many of them as they tell their success stories. fore starting on the keranique system, every woman was photographed to document the new hair growth they got with the keranique system. everyone you'll see today was suffering from hair loss and got their hair back with keranique. i was hating on my hair. i was absolutely hating on my hair. i noticed clumps would fall out. my comb would be filled with strands -- hundreds of strands of hair. and it wasn't pretty, and it was depressing. my hair was falling out.
i just -- i lost my confidence, and i was looking and hoping that something would come my way. i found keranique. when i saw my pictures, i was stunned. everything's filled in. i have hair. i have beautiful hair. it's full, and you can see it. like, little tiny little hairs come up every day now, and it's -- like, it's exciting. i feel just more youthful and happy and confident. it's the best thing i've ever done for myself. i had just big old patches of scalp showing. when i parted my hair, you could see all kinds of skin, all kinds of scalp in patches. and it -- it really looked horrible. it looked pathetic. and ifeltpathetic. now, after using keranique, new hairs have filled in the areas in this part area and in the back where i had trouble with patches of scalp showing.
new hair grew on my head. my hair, with keranique, is prettier, more beautiful, more healthy, fuller, smoother, better shine. i am ecstatic. i had a big, giant bald spot right in the front. like there could be any worse place for it to appear. and i also had another spot that started to come up in the middle of my head. i've been using keranique, my hair is back. it's full. and i'm so relieved to have that bald spot just completely gone. to be able to look in the mirror and to see myself back to myself is really awesome. keranique is amazing. i used keranique, and my problem is solved. i don't have to walk around in denial anymore. don't have to pretend like it's just magically gonna disappear.
el about your results? my bald spot is gone. it really is amazing. [ applause ] [ laughs ] [ female announcer ] the keranique system is a family of products that are fast and easy to use. the system includes shampoo and conditioner, the keranique hair regrowth treatment, and a special styling product, the keranique lift & repair treatment spray. it's just three steps to use the keranique system and look better than you have in years. wash and condition as you normally would, apply the keranique hair regrowth treatment, ft & repair treatment spray. that's all it takes for your hair to start looking fuller, thicker, and healthier with keranique. this was a bald spot. and now look at this. i have more hair, which is all due to keranique. it actually grew hair. keranique has given me more hair. it has made my hair shiny. it's even made my hair thicker. i would have never thought that this and this can happen
for somebody else to tell you that you have a problem. get your confidence back. get your hair back. wendy, i'm looking at some very long, very beautiful hair. tell me how you feel about it. i feel amazing. keranique made my hair even thicker, healthier, shinier, and longer. [ applause ] if you're experiencing hair loss or your hair is thinning, now is the time to do something about it. there is a solution. you can have more hair that's thick, healthy, [ female announcer ] do you see a widening part, thinning spots, your scalp? does your hair break easily, or does it simply not grow? is your hair thinner than it used to be? these are all signs of female hair loss, and over 46 million women in america suffer from it. now there's an answer. take a look at these pictures. this is what a hair-regrowth treatment designed especially for women can do. it's a scientifically proven way to regrow your hair. it's keranique, the world's leading
designed exclusively for women. and it tackles the most common forms of female hair loss. keranique is a clinically proven, effective way to regrow your hair. it's a fact that most women don't recognize they have hair loss until up to 50% of their hair is already gone. and that's a problem because the longer your hair goes untreated, the more your hair follicles shrink, producing thinner and thinner hair shafts. eventually, some hair follicles may stop producing new hair completely, which makes hair loss and thinning even worse. ding hair in the shower and the sink or your hair is thinner than it once was, it's time to get keranique before things get even worse. the keranique hair regrowth system is specially formulated for a woman's biochemistry. it's designed to stop hair loss and reverse it with the only pharmaceutical-grade, fda-approved ingredient that's clinically proven to regrow women's hair. and it really works. the keranique hair regrowth treatment penetrates the scalp and targets weak