tv Charlie Rose WHUT June 13, 2012 10:00am-11:00am EDT
europe is going through these problems and seems so unable to get their arms around it. >> rose: we continue this evening with mark shriver, his book "a good man: rediscovering my father." >> we knew he was going to die so we opened i it a couple weeks early and it brought into context who the man was. i heard from a couple of people-- because i knew he was going to die-- who kept saying to me, "he was a good man." and i thought about all the great achievements -- the peace corps, head start, legal services, job corps, special olympics -- and i thought what was really necessary was not just to talk about his achievements as a great man but to what was important the esespecially of who he was, a good man, married to 56 years to the woman of his dreams, who raised five kids, all of whom loved him, went to mass on a
case basis. >basis. >> we met 25 years ago. i had graduated school, i had started a psychotherapy practice. >> and just wasn't happy with the way my education prepared me to help people. the typical education teaches you tow analyze problems but not actually to solve them. and i was frustrated by my inability to really relieve people's pain and distress. being a complainer, i complained to a lot of people, and a friend mine told me about phil stutts and a seminar he was giving. >> rose: what did he say? >> he was techg a tool, the first tool in the book but what was really impressive, unlike all the other therapists i met,
he didn't talk down to people. >> basically, a tool is a procedure. it's an inner procedure you can excuse it will change your state to help you deal with the problem. the problem is you're feeling a little depressed -- just as an example. or another example would be your obsession, you're angry with somebody, you can't get them out of consider head. if you want to remove the problem really quickly. it won't remove it permanently. for that you use the tool over and over and over again. but the fact that it did make a change quick gives people hope
economists. there are several new developments. on saturday, spain agreed to accept as much as $125 billion in aid from euro zone part force rescue its banks. this makes spap the fourth and largest your peep country to agree to accept the bailout. high the plan did ease some concerns about thes ago's debt crisis, greece's june 17 election is still viewed as a major challenge. the euro zone officials have helped texas discussion in case greece abandons the euro. today the world bank warned fears have reduced investors' risk tolerance. joining me are joe nocera of the "new york times," gillian tett of the "the financial times." i am pleased to have them here. i want this to be a kind of primmer. you just said to me a very interesting thing. you know, the idea, if there was a commitment to save the world, what would they be doing? so where are we and what would
they be doing? >> it's a very interesting question to ask, because the save the world tag line emerged during the asian financial crisis, and it was people like alan greenspan, larry srnlings people like that. back then there was a sense that american fors and american power could not only offer sensible solution but actually coral everyone to sulactually implement them and it was a pretty effective way of dealing with the asian financial crisis in many ways. today, if you imagined that commitment to save the world in america, it is not clear that america, or indeed, anybody else, could actually fix the your own zones problems. what we're seeing is not simply an economic problem. it is a political problem, and the real absence of leadership and the real problem in terms of fiending out who is going to provide the driving motor. >> rose: and most people believe the person to do that is aingeular merkel?
>> the people who control the purse springs is germany, so angela merkel is in the driver's seat. what is holding the system together? what is forcing germany to come reluctantly up to the plate, step up to the plate is fear. everyone is terrified about what happens if it falls apart. but there isn't really a positive vision actually driving the project forward. as a result, you have increasing grpiness, if not outright revolt. >> rose: which brings me to a column in the "new york times" by joe nocera. "how not to solve a crisis. a your own zone meltdown book devastating to the battered economies of europe, leading to mass unemployment and depressed economies across the continent, but it would undoubtedly take a toll on our economy as well and a huge blow to president obama's
reelection prospects. this is not just a european problem." >> this is called the "homer problem" what it means for america. you almost have to feel bad for president obama. there is nothing he can do, nothing, except wait and hope that the alternate surprise doesn't consist of italy, spain, and even france, you know, imploding and the euro zone bringing down the world economy. it's worth pointing out, as we have often pointed out, in 1931, the failure of an austrian bank, you know, helped bring about a conitagion of bank failures that eventually brought about bank failures until the united states and actually caused franklin roosevelt to have a bank holiday. something that happened-- and today, money moves so much fast eelectronic bits and bytes. and panic and fear and ton tablion zips around the world, in a way it didn't 100 years
ago. and so, you know, it is definitely worrisome for the united states economy that europe is going through these problems and seems so unable to get their arms around it. >> rose: so here we have also on saturday, i'm watching television in between the french open. and there was a spanish finance minister having a press conference, and everybody commenting on that said, "this is so large. this will take care of spain's problem." and then all of a sudden, they changed their mind. and here is the "new york times" today. worry for italy quickly replaces relief for spain. euro's number three economy. rome warns of strain from recession and rising debt cost." >> well you want to know why that happened. there were at least two problems. firstly, although the number was good-- $100 billion you'reoze, $125 billion, a lot
of money, and more than people were expecting-- the structure they're using to put the money in spanish banks is terrible. because you don't have the euro equivalent of the tarp system that america used to recapitalize its banks, europe is having to hand the money to the spanish government instead of directly putting into spanish banks. nobody has much faith the money will be used in a good way. and people buying spanish government bonds are saying, hold on a second. we're in the back of the queue when it comes to repaying the money. you have a real concern among investor right now about how the structure of how that is organized. at the end of the day, the problem isn't just the spanish bannings, it's a fundamental struck of the euro zone and whether that is sustainable or not and nothing that has happened in the last 24 hours has changed that. people are beginning to call fair bigger reorganization of the euro zone, but the president-- the european commission gave an interview to
"the financial times" calling for effectively, a banking union air, common system to oversee banks and have something like a tarp mechanism but right now the germans are very, very wary of that kind of thing. >> i actually think this is where democracy kind of steps in because, you know, there's constant talk about the importance of, you know, more political and fiscal integrity in the euro zone. but, again and again and again, over the last year, the voters in the democratic states, these democratic countries are voting no. >> rose: throwing out the leader who was there trying to-- >> and it judd happened in france. and it may well happen sunday-- in fact that was a decent likelihood it will happen sunday in greece. >> rose: it already happened in greece previously. >> it happened a dozen times across the euro zone area right now. >> the notion we're going to have a more integrated union seems to me so unlikelies too
make on one think the euro zones tumly doomed. is that too strong? >> what you're also seeing is not merely a howl of pain against incumbent governments and people chucking out the leaders. you're seeing a rise of the far left and the far right, a country that got a lot of attention,sh, is greece because under some measures the far right and the far left are leading in the polls. but as a columnist pointed out this week, if you look at perhaps, you see about 30% of voters voting for the far right, far left recently. even the netherlands, is seeing a surge of support, according to the polls. and, again, in ireland you're seeing groups like sinn fein that were in the political wilderness until recently coming spot main stream. >> rose: what are the common strains of thoughts in these far right groups? nationalism, nationalism, narcism? >> i think the common train of
thought in the far right and far left is a howl of protest. you're not merely seeing fractions opening up between euro zone countries right now, and a project designed to heal the wounds of world war ii is reopening those wounds, but you're see fracture between the leaders and the voters. you need look at the arab spring sosee what happens when angry people who can ling it through social media communications can actually act. >> rose: the rising anger has common strains which is the cupid of thing social media can feed. >> it's exacerbated because their problems worse but it's not that much different from occupy wall street and the tea party. both of those movements sprung from the same fundamental source-- anger about the state of the economy. occupy wall street calls it the
99%. the tea party calls it crony capitalism. it's anger in one side -- >> rose: at the system and anger at elites. >> yes, and the tea party view is elites afor big government. it has hobby clunked. occupy's view is the elites run banks which don't treat of country fairly. it's a revolt against the elite. in europe, i haven't had-- the few discussions i've had with european technocrats when you say to them, "is it important to save the euro?" they say, "lutle, it's vital." and then you say, "why?" the only answer they can give at this point is it uld be a disaster if we don't. >> it's fear drying the whole euro zone debate forward. and sphere can be a uniifying factor. in the absence of what the euro
zone is trying to achieve, other than apocalypse-- ie, if we let the whole thing fall apart-- it's hard to get people excited and build any recovery of the sort of yup of euro zone needs so badly right now. >> rose: there are people in washington who say a grand bargain is possible if we bring the right people together. they know what to do. it's like what they say about israeli-palestinnian. do we know what the final deal ought to be to save the world's economy and save europe from engaininging in a contangion that will spread around the global economy. >> there is a deal skiing beag discussed that involves something like this. you create a common euro zone to put in an insurance scheme, like the f.d.i.c., a banking union, get money in the banks, recapitalize the euro and bank, get the central bank to be everywhere supportive.
you can start seeing ways you create banking and fiscal union that people need to see right now, and you recapitalize the banks and eventually slay the jeanie. you would probably have bonds issued, and play around with common joint euro zone treasury, if you like. if you go back to joe's point about what happened in the autumn of 2008, when people like the finance minister said to the americans, "how could you let this happen?" the americans responded with a package of measures purpose tht two and a half people making the decisions to things like tarp in washington. hank paulson could fire it because there was really only one finger on the trigger. today -- >> rose: two and a half were pawlz me, and bernanke and he
was the half. >> or government just basically site sade in september 2008, we stand as the left-hander of last resort. we're not going to let this happen, period. the f.d.i.c. guaranteed basically all bank debt. they didn't spend practically awe penny. they didn't have to. once the federal government stood up and said we guarantee this dent the world said, "okay, the debt's guaranteed. we don't have to worry." >> rose: they went to j.p. morgan and said you bail out bear sens and we'll back you up. >> the big thing was in september. and they didn't even have statutory authority to save a.i.g.. they just did it. >> spain said they didn't have statutory authority to put money directly into the banks. technically, it's kind of true. they could have found a way to
do it. >> rose: in the beginning hank paulson said he did not have the authority to save lehman brothers. >> he says that to this day. >> dismen the markets crashed. if you want to be completely cynical you say the only way to bang heads together in europe, maybe we have a crash. by golly, that would be bad, not just for the your own zone but for america, too. >> rose: let me go through this. europe says we're leaving the euro zone eye mean, greece. what happens? >> we don't know. and that's point. everyone right now-- i was in new york recently and you can take of talk to senior leaders or patrol bankers, they're all trying to work it out. there is no precedence for this. >> rose: what's the worst-case scenario? >> you basicry have a lot of banking contracts and financial markets freeze up because no one
really knows what contracts are going to be honored and denominates. you have essentially capital controls imposed. more important, people don't believe it will stop with greece, and the it spreads to spain, and portugal. that spain is in crise or has been in crise in receipt days illustrates why contagion is so scary. >> rose: the person scared the most i assume is barack obama. >> don't know about the most but i'm sure it's making him nervous. you can talk to government officials here who-- i spoke to one some time ago who said, well, you know, if the euro zone falls of foughts, it will be twice as bad paz lehman brothers. i said, "you mean over there?" and he said, "oh, no, over here, over here am of the banking world is intersected.
when credit freezes it doesn't just freeze in germany. everybody has issues, counter-party issues. >> there's another wish, we're dealing with a country here not a bank. but we're also dealing with a world that has exhausted most of its ammunition to fight crises. back in 2008, you could at least roll out a fiscal stimulus and monetary. we have been doing that three, four years. what are they going to use to create shock and awe next time around? >> rose: nobody knows. every time, every-- >> they always duck it and kick it down. >> rose: absolutely. paul krugman said they'll fiend a way, they'll find a way." when is somebody going to say, "no, we won't. find a way will last two more
teams and that's it. how do you know if find the way. >> you might see the voters find a way, if you like, or create a spark. let's see what the results will of the elections are in greece and there are a whole bunch of more elections coming up where the voters will have a chance to express their discontent. the markets may completely freeze or fleetly go haywire in terms of their price will. and thirdly, maybe just maybe at some point-- maybe the e.c.b. loses patients and the more thans find a more effective way of getting their message across. much as i would like to see proactive decision taken by the government, i think, unfortunately, that's quite unlikely. >> if you're a greek voter and-- you're not thinking voting for the far left party who could exit the euro zone would be bad
for us. you're thinking how many worse could it be? wasn't we be better off with a dracuma. >> rose: then we could prevent money. >> yeah. and you're thinking anything's got to be better than tied to some austerity. i don't think the voters have much though for the problems -- >> rose: but the german voters don't, either. >> that's very true, that is very, very true. and that is why germany won't roll out the big guns. they're constrained by their own internal politics, too. everybody is constreand by their own international politics. nobody thought about what fractures would be created when things got bad. and now we're seeing it.
europe has a pretty long history. >> the profound tragedy is it isn't need to be like this. there was enough money inside the your own zone to fec the problem. and the former head of the banning pointed out the level of economic convergence is less under many measures than across the american economy. the problem is although there have been plenty of ways to solve this-- i could turn greece into-- there are intelligent ways to solve this but it really comes down to the political economy over and over again. >> rose: i mean, tim geithner recently said this is an economic problem but much more
than that. it's a political problem. because it takes the politics to fix the economy. >> that's right. >> rose: and and that's right? >> that's right. >> rose: and the politics is changing because of the rage spreading throughout europe and it comes to other bases and says throw the rascal out. they have the ability to do this in the your own zone, within europe, and the money is there but no political will. what could create the political will other than the fear of the hangman's noose. >> there has been nothing but the fear of the hangman's noose to drive the project forward. the single most effective and unified organizations-- have done an amazing job sticking the big oast band-aid on a bleeding
wound. they can't do surgery. they can staunch the bleeding thus far. those who have never shown a desired disier toor expansionist or authoritarian, she has been cast in the unlikely role as the person to whom everyone is turning. >> rose: to say i'm going to be white knight, i'm going to be the silver bullet. i'm going to reach for greatness. >> she is trained as a scientist. whethewhether she will take exty bold risks right now is very unclear. >> one of the risks she would have to take specially is letting up on these draconian austerity problem programs.
the austerity programs, which germany has insisted on and thief insisted on it partly because they think it's right, but partly for cultural reasons because that's the way germans are. "if we're going to give you money we expect to you act in a certain way in return." but that austerity has creted enormousos good will. when you talk about the lack of political will, a lot of it-- some of it -- that the money comes with strings attached. >> when you look at what should be done to move forward, i think one of the ideas float around is people will go a little bit easier on austerity. the g20. so there is thissed this that they could actually dial back on the austerity and use something like the e.i.b. to issue bonds
that will be used to find pout -- >> rose: that might take some of the passion and rage out of the political discourse? >> the prime minister of france said yes, we are actually dialing back these measures in support of what the people are saying, voters are saying. >> kim rogov should be here to male me this. when you look at history, at other times like this, where does the solution come from? >> if you want to be cynical, in the 1930s, it was war. >> rose: exactly. >> think about it. we've been at this now for almost four years and there's no end in sight. >> rose: 2008. >> that's right. first in the u.s. and then in europe, and in our economy, the american economy, we've had a few bright moments here and there but mostly we have struggles. and we continue to struggle.
>> japan he believe doing this now for over 20 years. i'm of let me stress-- heaven forbid we see the social tensions become, newscast yore but there aren't mean positive models that doesn't involve a lot of stagnation or pain or sacrifice. >> rose: i had to leave it there, but thank you. >> so do we. >> thank you, charlie. >> rose: back in a moment. stay with us. >> rose: sergeant shriver is often remembered as a kennedy era of idealism. he was the founding director of the peace corps. he championed civil rights by integrating the city school systems and with his wife unis shriver advanced the special olympic games.
"could anyone really be that good?" in a new book "a good man: rediscovering my father," his son explores the guiding principles of his father's life. i am peaseed to have him here at this table to talk about a good man. welcome. >> thank you very much. thanks for having me. >> rose: tell me first about the eulogy. >> it was a really tough process. i knew dad was dying but i had to go to california to do an event for save the children. i remember taking off from dulles airport heading west and it reminded me of arip i took 15, 20 years earlier with my dad cad when we were going over the chesapeake bay bridge, and we were running late and i was so agitate with dad because he was half an hour late. as we ascended the bridge, i roadblock out at the sunset and i was agitated, and he looked out and said, i can't wait to
meet the creator on mode that, it's so beautiful." i thought about that and read a letter he had written to my tom and siblings and i 25 years earlier and it to be opened upon his death and we knew he was going to die so we opened it a couple of weeks early, and it brought into context who the man was. they kept saying, "he's a good man." i thought about the great achenjtz peace core, head start, legal services, job corps, special olympics. i thought what was really necessary was not just to talk about his achievement as a great man but to what was important, the essence of who he was air, good man, marry for 56 years to the woman of his dreams, raised five kids-- all whom loved him. went to mass on a daily basis. had countless friends and treated everybody the same. it didn't matter if you were charlie rose or the waitress at a restaurant in d.c.
he treated everybodys same. vice president biden or president clinton or the guy at the car rental counter at the airport. >> rose: highway did he see his life? were there regrets? >> no. i'm interrupting because he ever, ever said that. it was amazing. he lost in '72, in lost for president in '76. a lot of people thought he should have been vice president with lyndon johnson in 64. but he never, each expressed any regrets. he never said i was shortchanged or excluded the process, never did. i think he saw every opportunity, as chance as an opportunity-- i know it sounds corny-- but to spread hope and love which i think were the guiding principales of his life, faith, hope, and love. if that door had opened or the chance to be president 76, door
closed. the next day there was another opportunity. how does he define the fact that he was part of the family his wife was such a significant part and many people say your mother would be a great president, asun. i think maybe the president even said that. >> my mom's father had a pretty crash compression. >> rose: this was joe kennedy. >> if she had been born as a guy, she would have been president. >> rose: what did she think about that? >> he loved my mother and bought a motor vote after he run for vice president it was george magoch's seventh pick and called the boat the lucky stef. and he said we were the luckiest people in the world. i think he knew what he was marrying into. nobody could ever guess that jack kennedy as a congressman was going to become property the odds are against it, but, you know, he and my mom shared a
deep faith. they both went to massef day, and i think he thought this was, obviously, the woman of his dreams. he courted her for years. he perce veered, married her, and after 56 years of marriage it was great. >> rose: what was dinner like? >> it was all about the conversation. it was all about what had happened that day, what was going on in school. but dad was also really joyful. he loved the political arena. he loved the work that he was doing in-- whether it was the peace core or his work with my mom in special olympics. it's we talked about the baltimore orioles baseball club. he loved the orioleses. we watched them when he was a little kid in the 20s and he talked about seeing lefty grove pitch out there. he would talk about everything he read the night before. he was a voracious reader. when we tried to sneak into the bedroom, and you would go by his
room and the bed would be lined with books. he read it all glfs he closer to jack or bobby? >> i think he had a great relationship with president kennedy. a lot of people talk about president kennedy's-- the recruit of the the best and brightest. that was dad. he was asked by president-elect kennedy to put together the cabinet and that was dad's role. he recruited the best and brightest -- >> rose: being head of the transition. >> he was to go -- >> rose: from dean russ, bob mcnamara. >> he brought them all in, republicans and democrats. he told me president kennedy told him to go out and get the best people, he didn't care if they were democrats or republicans. he had an amazing ability to balance all these things. he was first in my mind a father, later a grandfather.
he was a fantastic husband. and i think so many guys my age are bouncing different-- i know you must be doing it. you've got work. you've got friends. you've got family. you've got faith, and i hope this book gives pointers how to do that. >> rose: how to find the balance. >> because that's what he did. >> rose: there are some things i want to show. this is from the a documentary, january, 2008. >> we're looking for people who have empathy, who are able to live in a foreign culture without worrying about the fact they can't get a hamburger to eat or thick shake or something like that. sometimes i thought there were some american tourists and businessmen and others who go overseas and almost had a special enclosure around them. i had the experience one time of an official abroad handing me a glove i could aware.
>> he believed in action, and i think that was grounded in a faith, a that collicism that demanded action of hope and love and that's what the peace corps was. a lot of folks said he was enenthusiastic, a great salesman but he was smart and strategic. here say man whose family lost all their money in of who went to one of the great law schools in the country, and took from nothing and created the peace corps, creating the war against post. the greatest milestones in the johnson and kennedy administrations he created out of nothing. here was a guy who was not only personal and got along with folks who made out of nothing reality. >> rose: what did he do after
losing the presidency? >> he subsequent practiced law. he accept the postcards from trips moscow and the soviet union and the 70s and 80s. he he did work on bioethics. the study of medicine and its ethnical hymn predictions. he did a lot of work with the catholic conferenceov budgets. he did a lot of work when president reagan came out with the first strike policy and worked with the catholic bishops to come out and say that was not a good policy. it was changed by thageain administration. and dad worked behind the scene it's all an effort to try to make a difference in people's lives. he worked, obviously, with my
mom, chairman of special olympics. he worked for my brother anthony creating best budez, which saul around the world now. >> rose: this is you at yourualology for your dad. >> during the 2000 campaign, mommy and daddy invited a couple of folks over to listen to the president yool debate. after dinner we went into the basement and turned on the television. everyone settled into their chair. and after about 15 minutes you could hear daddy start to gently snore. as the debate wore on and on daddy's snoring got a little louder and louder. in the end, his folks stood up to walk out and timothy poked daddy and said as loudly as he could, "what did you think of that debate, dad? daddy without missing a beat said, nothing i haven't heard before." ( laughter ) he said good night to everybody, looked at mommy and said,
"uenie baby, i'm going to bed." it's true. >> rose: i knew him. he was great. i met him and met your mother as you well know. how were the last years living with illness. >> alzheimer's is a brutal disease. it really strips away your past. it strips away your future. it was brutal. i had a lot of help. i was in charge of my dad's legal and medical care but my brother and his wife, linda and five kids live a few miles away and mamaria and bob and anthony played roles. it takes a whole family, a support system to deal with alzheimer's, and it is really underfunded by the federal government. we haven't done enough to find a cure for alzheimer'ss. it's so significantly underfunded. the one thing i did learn is dad had no concept of the past. he didn't know he had run the peace corps towards of understand of his life. he didn't know about tomorrow because it didn't make any sense
to him. he lived in the moment, if he was sick or blowing his nose-- which was one of his habits. i would get nervous, is he going to get a cold, are my kids going to get a cold? i remember being in church one day and not wanting to touch him because it was brutal. and and he turned to me halfway through and said, "i love you." here is a guy who didn't know what happened in the past, he was just in the moment trying to express his love. i think in moments like that, you learn. you know, i learned about the power of unconditional love. he gave it to me every day of my life. i learned about the power of forgiveness and patience because i got so agitated at times with him-- and i wrote about it in the book-- but the bottom line is you need to be more patient. he never ideal at me when i was on the sporting field. he just always was supportive. so that experience of seeing him
fade in front of my eyes reminded me of the things he had given me and how important they were. i'm hoping some of the messages coming out of this book help dads-- and moms -- deal with this change. >> rose: it has to be a labor of love. as you said, "rediscovering my father, of." he wrote me a note whenit graduated from high school and he stuck it in a scrapbook and i had forgotten about it and i stumbled upon it while writing the book. it didn't say work hard and your dreams will come through. he wrote, "love you, your mother loves you and your sisters and friends love you, but most importantly, god loves you." to have that reassurance as an 18-year-olds must have been great but as a 40-year-old realize that was what my dad was about unconditional love was a
powerful thing. >> rose: mark you've done well. "a good man: rediscovering my father." thank you. >> thank you very much. thanks for having me. >> rose: for arizona hollywood actors and writer writers and ps have turned to two therapists for help with their problems. phil stutts and barry michael have developed an approach to therapy. they have written a book-- tools, transforms yourself problems into courage and creativity." how do you two get together is the first question. >> we met 25 years ago. i had graduated school. i had started a psychotherapy practice, and i just wasn't happy with the way my education prepared me to help people. the typical education teaches you to analyze problems but not actually to solve them. and i was frustrated by my
inability to relieve people's pain and distress. being a paper, i complained to a lot of people, and a friend of mine told me about phil stutts and a seminar he was giving and i went and i was blown away. >> rose: what can did he say in that seminar? >> he was teaching one tool eye believe it was the row versal of desire, the first tool in the book-- but what was really impressive is unlike all of the other therapies i met, she didn't talk down to people. it was right on the level of us as listeners and patients. she just could relate in a very human way and i hadn't seep that before in therapy. the fact that he had specific concrete procedures, exercises that you could do in two or three seconds that would immediately relieve a problem was very exciting. it's what we call the tools it's book has five of them. basically a tool is a procedure.
it will change your state to help you feel-- you're feeling a little depressedas an example. or you're angry at somebody, you can't get them out of your head. the it will remove the problem quickly. the fact that it can make a change quick gives people hope and the hope is very important. >> rose: how did you develop these tools. >> rose: >>'ll picturely. >> the people were suffering and the therapists were lackadaisical-- come back next week. it wasn't satisfying for me. it was trial and error for a very long time. >> rose: what kind of problems do people come with? >> well, the five problems in
the book are probably the most common. the first one is ajoins. so ajoins is classic. "i'm avoiding starting my diet. i'm avoid going to the gym. i'm avoiding confronting my boss." probably the most common. >> absolutely. i don't know anybody that doesn't avoid something. and the second problem is we call the maze, a state of mind you get into when someone has wronged you and you can't get over it. it's typical thing of being weak at 3:00 in the morning, you're blot revenge, geoff over what happened. the tool allows you to get out of the maze and stop thinking about the person and move on. it's a very important tool in relationships because in relationships you get two people, both of whom are in the maze.
they're holdag judge against each other. that's why so many relationships fail because people don't know how to get out of that state. relationships turn into a love blast. >> rose: speak to the tool of active love. >> speak to it? okay. what we call "th "the maze" is e sense you have been treated unfairly by the world. you don't get a promotion you have been treated unfairly. somebody diss you, insults you. human beings almost all of us, have the belief that the universe should be fair. and we wait-- after we've been mistreated-- we wait for the universe to roller coasterrify itself, to make things even handed. like what the ghost said to hamless. the tool is predicated on the
idea we don't expect fairness, nor do we need fairness to go to another state. active love is fully pepping-- love is it the force that accepts what is. it's a way of giving yourself experience that releases the other people that makes you feel satisfied. >> rose: you had a patient name amanned awas it? >> uh-huh. >> rose: what was her story? >> she was a a very high-powered person starting a business in the garment industry. and he had tape her-- taken her boyfriend to an event where he flirted, had a tete-a-tete with another woman, and amandaed inly got offended by it. they got back in their car to go home. you know the story after that. she remed him and he very
politely says, "listen, i wasn't flirting. i was having a good time at the batter, come olive with it. it's really not that big a deal." and she went right into the maze and didn't know how to get over it. when i interviewed her, i discovered that all of her relationshiprelationships had er in the maze, people like her boyfriend had wronged her and none of the relatiships masted more than three month because in three months you're going to get wrong nade pain taught her act of loaf and she began to use it. every time she found herself in that state, and she was able to release heranger and get along with her boyfriend, and they were a great couple. >> rose: what is inner under the? >> inner authority say tool that enables you to express yourself confidently. all of us on some level-- it's interesting that we're in a position of treating celebrities because nobody thinks celebrities are insecure, but
the truth is everybody is insecure on one level or another. and insecurity makes it very difficult to press yourself with any authority. your authority is projected outward, and you think people are judging you and you're trying to hide your flaws and compress yourself confidently at the same time, and that doesn't work. the tool lodges want authority inside a view and enables you to pressure yourself. >> rose: the next one is grateful flow. >> grateful flow is to deal with negative thinking and the most sailiant one was is worry-- i'm worried about my son's help. i'm worried about my financial future, i'm worried about global markets." it doesn't matter. it's endless. there has been the self-help world to substitute for the
negative thoughts and she while that's well and good, we found it's not strong enough and negative thoughts mostly win, so what the grateful flow does is give the person a sense all is fine with the why was, based on their connection to something larger. the gratefulness is important because gratefulness is like a bridge to something higher and big or and more meaningful. >> president me elaborate on that a little bit. i've tried positive thinking, and when i'm in a really worried, negative state-- it not only works with worry but self-loathing and judgmentallism. if i try to think a positive thought like it's a sunny day my dog loves me, my children are healthy, there's another voice in my head that says, "who cares?
everything is going down. life is terrible. of the and that's the strongest offer voice and that's why the power of positive thinking isn't that powerful. the grateful flow moves you from your head to your heart. that's where i can let go of that negative thinking and feel love. >> rose: i guess the last one is jeopardy. >> yeah. we found most people quit on important things in their lives. when i discovered these tools and hay would work, i would teach them to a new patient, the tool would work, they still quit using them . the tools aren't magical. you must keep using thom which means you have to commit to it and i call it follow-through. most people have trouble with that. i say, for instance, somebody had a group of deal a novel and
some had the chance to muster the follow-through, what they're missing is will power. what the tool does is creates little power by creating a accident scene of urgency. the whole so the is in a a sense of denial. denial is about time. most of us function as if we zall time in the world and there's no sense of urgeny. jeopardy creates the urgency and will power to get you going and keep working on it until you are finished. >> rose: are most of your clients from one prospegz or another. >> there are many different professions. i treat one of the high
powered-service agent agents in hollywood. >> rose: let this. most people who come to see you, do they see you together? >> no. >> rose: is it generally for a period of six mongz, a period of six years, a period of a lifetime? >> hard to generalize. what i pride myself in doing-- again, the book speaks to this philosophy, is to get them to move right away. right away is within the first couple of weeks. >> rose: to recognize the maze and find the way out. from my experience dive in and do something because then you've taken a step and a next step. otherwise, you'll never get started. >> exactly. >> rose: you have to say let's
start. whether writing or anything else. or you can start with the first sentence and it becomes to flow and all of a sudden, it begins to coalesce in your own howard deans. >> is this people don't realize when you're stuck, you're stupid. you don't really know what you can write about until you start tow write. there's actually intelligence. phil stutts, barry michael, the tools: transform your problems into courage, comfort, and creativity." thank you for joining us. see you next time.