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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 10, 2016 8:00pm-8:31pm EDT

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♪ from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live game night!" tonight, matthew mcconaughey, tracy morgan, dikembe mutombo, paul pierce, and lie witness news, nba edition presented by state farm. and now, using the backboard, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. thank you. welcome to the show, i'm jimmy kimmel. i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us in primetime for our nba game night special. tonight, from cleveland, game four of the nba finals between the warriors and the cavaliers. that's right, last year's finals were so successful, they decided to make a sequel. [ laughter ]
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cast back. as you know, much has been made about the match-up between two-time mvp steph curry, four-time mvp lebron james, who are rivals on the court, no doubt. but, i thought this was interesting. last night, so they're in the middle of the nba finals between games three and four, they were caught on tape out on the town together by tmz sports. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i must say, the bouncer at that bar has to do much better job of carding people. [ laughter ] why would they wear their uniforms to a -- it makes no sense at all. [ laughter ] j.r. smith of the cavaliers has been getting some criticism for launching a kickstarter campaign during the finals. while the games are going on, he is hoping to raise money to produce a reality show about his life. that's great, because if there are two things the world needs more of, it's kickstarter campaigns and reality shows. [ laught
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but this show, it's a whole thing, you can watch it online. the show would follow j.r, his bodyguard boom, and his family and lead up to his wedding. and then they would show the wedding too. j.r apparently promised his girlfriend, they'll get married as soon as the finals are over, which, the way things have been going, means they will probably be getting married very soon. they're trying to raise $450,000 to make the show, which is a lot. i have to say, and maybe this is gonna make me sound like an old codger, but i really want to say, i liked it better when nba players got reality shows the old-fashioned way -- by marrying a kardashian. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you for finally agreeing with me on something. [ laughter ] i'm sure you know, a key part of being a professional athlete, especially a basketball player, is endorsements -- doing endorsements. a lot of nba players appear in big budget commercials for big companies, powerade, gatorade, nike, adidas, state farm.
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but, my favorite commercials starring athletes are the local ones, where the player shows up at a local business and shoots an ad with the owner in the store. that is what i love. i can watch those all day. there was one growing up in las vegas, with mordecai the jeweler and, and larry holmes, the heavyweight champion and it was just, like, "these prices are a real knockout." [ laughter ] it was wonderful. [ applause ] so anyway, we got in touch with paul pierce of the l.a. clippers and then we scoured yelp looking to find just the right local business. and, we settled on a shoe repair shop, which still exists. we found a guy named greg, who repairs shoes, and we sent paul pierce to the shop to give his business what i hope will be a major boost. ♪ >> three, two, one for the win. yes. hi, i'm clippers small forward, paul pierce. when i'm on the court, the only thing on my mind is the game. but, while runnin', jumpin' and shooting hoops is good for winning games, it is not good for my shoes. and whenever they get messed up, i always turn to "gt shoe
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repair." ♪ "gt shoe repair" is located right in the heart of los angeles, just a few blocks from the miracle mile. when it comes to the game of shoe repair, this is the only court i'll play on. and, i'm not the only one. just look at all the stars who agree with me. callie connor, laurie reeves, and even willi willis. i love me some willi willis. shoes are the name of the game here at "gt shoe repair." but, that's not all my man greg here can repair. isn't that right, greg? >> i do handbags too. [ laughter ] >> whether it's shoelaces, wallets, or shoe horns, "gt repair" has got it all. [ whistle blows ] "gt shoe repair" is not responsible for shoes lost, damaged by fire or left over 30 days. "gt shoe repair" is an easy lay-up. >> "gt shoe repair," co
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houser, just minutes from the la brea tar pits. [ laughter ] >> i don't repair no athletic shoes. >> so come to "gt shoe repair." their shoe repairs are a -- >> slam dunk. [ laughter ] >> where you going, greg? and remember, all cash, no checks. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, paul pierce. and you're welcome, greg. [ laughter ] how's that man's name greg? [ laughter ] well, one more thing before we forge ahead. anyone who knows me knows i am a great lover of food, but sometimes i get too busy to eat. i just don't have the time to find the flavors i like. so, i asked dikembe mutombo, the great former nba player, one of the world's largest men, to help me by taste testing one of the worlds tiniest delicacies. and here it is now, this is not "jack and the beanstalk," but it is very close. ♪
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this one look like chocolate. [ laughter ] what it taste like? let me try. tastes like cocoa. very good. i like this one. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, dikembe. it's very, very helpful. we have to take a break, but matthew mcconaughey is on the way and we'll be right back with a golden state warriors edition of "lie witness news," so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ s. no more disasters. where would state farm be? here. to help with college. here. for that first car. and here. for new beginnings. because in a world where nothing went wrong,
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helping make life go completely right. ♪ who needs to think whenhm toyour feet just go? ♪ [ music playing ] ♪ there's a party over here. ♪ there's a party right now, hey. ♪ ♪ i love it, i love it, i love it, i love it! ♪ ...and stumbled upon some stranded enthusiasts.d... he shared his sandwiches. he rescued their rover. he observed their methods... ...and was invited to join the crew for the remainder of the mission. no. james left to discover new frontiers... ...and potable water. how far will you take the all-new rav4 hybrid? toyota. let's go places.
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♪ who needs to think when your to afeet just go! ♪ ♪ ha ha, ♪ hey hey ♪ there's a party over here, ♪ ♪ there's a party right now! ♪ i love it, i love it, i love it! ♪ ♪ i completely missed robert horry's three-pointer versus the pistons in game five of the 2005 finals, because my aunt flossy. she called freaking out about a possum that was stuck in her jacuzzi tub.
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[ laughter ] i told her to wait, but the damn thing bit her in the thigh bone. why is she in the tub with the possum sharing tub time? you see the possum in the tub, you hastily retreat from that tub. so, i took off my clothes and put on a bathrobe and i ran over to the house. i had to kill the damn thing with a monkey wrench and a garbage bag. hey, it put up a struggle, but that crazy out bastard had to go. possums is nasty. [ laughter ] nice day. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for the memories, tracy. it's a special look back on those times. welcome back to our game four game night show. matthew mcconaughey is here with us. later tonight, we have a new show in our regular time spot with anthony anderson and his mom, who is a character. bill simmons will be here with us and the music of led zeppelin from train. so, please join us then. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have, um -- i guess we could call it a finals tradition on this show. we go to the cities where the games are being played and we as
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about a bunch of fake stuff we made up about their team. tonight, we packed a bag full of falsehoods and took them up to oakland for tonight's golden state edition of "lie witness news." enjoy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> are you a big warriors fan? >> yes, sir. >> do you think it's right for festus ezeli to skip game four so that he can take the bar exam? >> i don't feel like it's right at all. i mean, but you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. >> you heard about that? >> yeah, i heard about it, but you know, i feel like you gotta do what you gotta do, you know. >> would you like to wish festus good luck on his career as an attorney? >> yeah, i do, i do. most definitely. >> inigo montoya is playing for revenge this series. >> yes. >> think he's gonna get it? >> no. >> they killed his father. >> i don't know. >> everybody's been talking about lebron's new tattoo that he got for the finals. >> uh-huh. >> you've seen that? >> oh, yes. >> you think it's offensive to have the tasmanian devil on a crucifix? >> i think that, that is horrible. i think that's horrible to have the, the tasmanian devil known for wrecking stuff on the crucifix, you know, that
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represents christ. >> yeah, you saw that? >> yeah. it was crazy. >> where were you when you saw that? >> i, i saw it on social media. i saw it on facebook. >> yeah, are people talking about it? >> yes. >> what are they saying about the tasmanian devil on a crucifix? >> a lot of people are saying it's an abomination. a lot of people actually like it. there's a lot of people who, um, who have mixed feelings about it because they do like the tasmanian devil and they do like jesus, so it's kinda like a conflict of their, you know. >> for the people out there who aren't big basketball fans, break down the warriors' turducken defense for me. what makes it so special? >> the duck? >> the turducken defense. >> well, i think what it is, is that when they come down the court, they, they shift off where they don't have. >> with the chicken inside the turkey. >> yeah, and then they just, it just seems like they're always -- >> slice the whole thing down the middle. >> right, but they're just trying to defense against what's coming at them and then that's real important too. >> and there's duck in there too. >> yeah. >> what was the first thing that went through your head when you heard that kevin love had tested
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>> well, i think that's a matter that they gonna have to take care of after the season, because it's too critical right now. we can't lose no players right now, unless they do something really, really across the line. >> were you surprised that kevin love tested positive for urine? >> i'm surprised that anybody would, you know, test positive in the playoffs. i mean, they're too good of players to even go through that route, i mean, they just talented players. >> is there something wrong with testing positive for urine this late in the season? >> uh, i feel that, uh, if it haven't been discovered yet, it's, you know, it's best to wait until after the season. >> we're here with the good reverend jesse "action" jackson. reverend jackson, what were your thoughts when you heard that the warriors were going to implementing a rainbow coalition defense? >> are you out of your mind? this is "purple rain." [ laughter ] >> okay, no idea what that means. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, rain man, what does that mean? all right, well you know, we're gonna figure it out and we'll be right back with matthew mcconaughey. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, and welcome back to the show. it is nba game night and our guest tonight is one of texas' gifts to the world, along with breakfast tacos, willie nelson and those horns you can mount to the front of your car. he is an academy-award winning actor, starring in the new civil war epic, "free state of jones." it opens june 24th. please welcome matthew mcconaughey. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is a tuxedo you're wearing. thank you. you really got dressed up. how's it -- which is your nba team? >> houston rockets. >> jimmy: houston rockets, okay. [ cheers and applaus
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mavericks or spurs or rockets. >> rockets. olajuwan, horry, maxwell. >> jimmy: that was a great team. that was a team of great nicknames. >> yeah. >> jimmy: akeem the dream, clyde the glide, maxwell was mad max because he was little nuts. >> yeah, yes he was. >> jimmy: and what are, what are -- i know you're a big university of texas fan. what are your other sports, professional sports teams? >> uh, pro football would be the washington redskins. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, that's strange. >> redskins fan. >> jimmy: dallas cowboys fans hate the redskins, right? >> hate the redskins. i grew up three hours, yeah, east of dallas in longview, texas. and, i was definitely an underdog. >> jimmy: you were, yeah, right. >> it started at 4 years old, watching westerns with my dad. and 4 years old, i was rooting for the indians. >> jimmy: really? >> secondly at 4 years old, when you're favorite food is hamburgers and they have a middle linebacker named chris handburger, you're in with the redskins. [ laughs ] so i was. i was -- i would dress up with the headdress, paint myself burgundy, remember shammy, you'd
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>> i'd wrap a shammy around my waist with a rope. 50-yard line, texas stadium. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. the women must have gone wild when they saw you in that shammy. >> when they saw that 8-year-old in that shammy. i still have that shammy. >> jimmy: wow, your dad let you wear a shammy to the game. that's something else. >> he was cool like that. >> jimmy: are your kids fans of the teams that you like? >> no, not completely. >> jimmy: oh, i hate when they do that. my son has done that to me. >> no, my son levi, who's 7, um, has he calls them, he's a fan of the "fan sanfrisco 49ers." [ cheers and applause ] he's kind of a west coast guy. it might have something to do that i told him that their stadium is named after him. >> jimmy: oh yeah, levi stadium. >> levi stadium. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, well, sure. of course he's got to root for them. >> he's got an investment. >> jimmy: wait until he finds out that people are wearing pants with his name on it all over the place. he's going to lose his mind.
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football team a pep talk. i saw that online. have you ever coached? have you ever done any kind of coaching at all? >> my son's starting flag football. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> so i'm not the main coach but i was out there a few weeks ago and the main coach said, "take this drive." you know, so i got out there and i learned a few things about flag football with 7-year-olds. >> jimmy: what did you learn about flag football? >> well one, they're not very good at actually grabbing that flag. >> jimmy: right. >> and so this whole east, west, running back and fourth you say, "no, no, no, just run straight. four out of five of them do not get the flag. >> jimmy: right. >> um, secondly i learned that there are rules. you have to pass a certain amount of times. so we had first and goal on the 1. and i line my guys, i say, "just go out and criss-cross, somebody get open and throw it to him. we went four plays, didn't get in, they got the ball. but if i had to do it again, i'd stack all four on one side -- right? tell one guy, "just hold back, step back a yard." the other three just barrel through the rest of the defenders, throw a nice little easy lateral behind and just step two yards in and score. but i thought of that
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i love that you've got a clipboard, you're drawing up plays for these little boys to run. >> i'm pretty sure it would work. >> jimmy: your dad played professional football for the green bay packers. >> green bay packers, yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't realize that but i learned that today. >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: he played for a year? >> he played in 1953. >> did he want you to play football as well? >> when you grow up in texas, you're around football. i mean, football is the king sport there. we all played. me and my two older brothers played football. he didn't force it on us. but if we decided to play, he made sure that we got up and worked out every morning at 6:00 a.m. through the summer and all that. but there came a time when i noticed -- when i was in eighth grade that i wasn't fast enough and i wasn't big enough either, so i wanted to quit football and i was pretty nervous about asking him. saying i wanted to change and maybe take up golf, right? >> jimmy: oh, really? >> and i remember the meeting i was pretty nervous about bringing it up to him, i called
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him back, i said, "pop, i don't know if i want to play football anymore, i want to play golf." and he went "oh, great, buddy." i go "why?" he goes "you know how you can tell i'm coming to your room before i get there?" and i said "yeah." he goes "how do you know?" i go, "i can hear you." he goes, "what do you hear?" i go "well, i hear this -- [ tapping sound ] and he goes "yeah, that's my broken ankle, i got a plate in there. i got a four-inch plate in my back. and the reason i got out of football is i was returning a punt and i didn't call a fair catch and the next thing i know i was looking at the bottom of my cleat right in front of my face." and he was like, "play golf, man." "you can do that until you go down." >> jimmy: you can play drunk. matthew mcconaughey's here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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[ panting ] i got you, boy. you're going to be all right. it's all right. >> it hurts. >> i know it hurts. just hold on to me tight. i got a boy here. i got a boy here. i got a boy here. >> i got officers i can't even get to. >> jimmy: that is matthew mcconaughey in "free state of jones." [ cheers and applause ] it opens june 24th. this is a movie about the civil war. the real civil war, not the iron man and captain america civil war. the one that actually happened in real life. >> that one. >> jimmy: but it's not a story that i ever knew. it's not something i ever learned about in school. >> no, not one i ever heard about either until i read the script. >> jimmy: it's a true story, though. >> it's a true story. this guy newton knight lived in southeast mississippi. started off fighting for his own personal freedom.
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then he fought alongside poor white farmers and african-americans through the civil war. then after the civil war was over and reconstruction was over in 1876, he continued his fight for african-american rights all the way until he was buried when he was 93 years old. now, why has it not been told? why do we not know about it? i mean, i don't know. the little guy, the poor folks don't write the history books. you know, they didn't then, they still don't. >> jimmy: what i didn't realize also is that it really was poor people fighting that war and the rich people weren't involved in the fighting. >> that's where the term for that war comes from. you know, "poor man's fight, rich man's war." newt was a man who enlisted in the confederacy but swore he'd never fire a shot on behalf of the confederacy. the scene you just saw is a true bit where his nephew shows up at camp one night, who does have to go out on the front lines. and he says "uncle newt, will you shepherd me out there?" then newt takes him out there, tries to keep him safe. but as you can see he's not safe and he gets hurt.
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story, man, tough but true inspiring story. >> jimmy: it's a good movie. that straggly beard is spectacular. >> that's mine. >> jimmy: that's all yours? that's not crazy glued on? [ cheers and applause ] did your wife like it? >> my wife liked it. my daughter probably liked it most. she weaved little things into it. there were things living in it. >> jimmy: you know, that actually reminded me. this is something that popped up on reddit and this is a real person who is not you, who is not related to you. >> maybe we are and i don't know it. >> jimmy: maybe so. >> but damn, that looks like me. >> jimmy: but boy, do you agree that he looks like you? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you've seen this before, right? >> i have, well, somebody sent it a couple of weeks ago. he goes, "have you seen this?" >> jimmy: because i got a similar thing. >> oh, wow, check this out. >> jimmy: this is something that people were saying -- mine though, is a woman. [ laughs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you're a good-looking man. >> jimmy: but here's what i wanted to mention because i don't know if you know this. but we did a little research and
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we found that that man who looks like you and that woman who looks like me actually were husband and wife. [ cheers and applause ] will you marry me, matthew? >> uncle jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, not uncle. if i'm your uncle we're going to be doing some very weird things together. >> oh, my. >> jimmy: matthew mcconaughey, everybody. go see his movie, "free state of jones." opens june 24th, that's our show. thanks matthew, thank you for watching. watch us on our regular time later tonight. game four of the nba finals is next on abc. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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