Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  March 29, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EDT

11:34 pm
that's it for news 4 new york at 11:00. the tonight show straight ahead. >> and wake up at 4:30 a.m. for the latest on that huge fire burning in brooklyn tonight. good night. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in
11:35 pm
tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- susan sarandon, john cena, musical guest michael stipe. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 443, baltimore! woo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, welcome, everybody! hi!
11:36 pm
welcome to the show! hot crowd tonight here in new york city. oh, my gosh. welcome. [ cheers ] thank you so much. welcome. welcome to "the tonight show", everybody. thank you so much for being here. i'm your host jimmy fallon. guys, it's now the second week of spring, but new york city was under a high wind advisory all day, with wind gusts up to 50 miles per hour. [ audience ohs ] most new yorkers -- most new yorkers went about their daily routines, while donald trump went into his panic room. [ laughter ] "easy, boy. easy, boy. [ growling ] all right, all right, calm down, boy. [ grownling ] all right, hold on. [ laughter ] okay. do you want a treat?" [ growling ] [ applause ] that's right. the weather here in new york was sunny, but chilly.
11:37 pm
[ laughter and applause ] "of course i'm excited to be here in iowa!" let's talk a little bit about the election here. i read that "wheel of fortune" has been earning a lot of money from political ads, almost $18 million so far in this election. it even seems like trump may have been able to slip one of his ads into one of the puzzles. take a look at this. >> 500. >> "u"? >> yeah. well that fills that out. [ ding ] >> yuuuuuuuge! >> there you go. [ applause ] >> jimmy: "yuuuuuuge!" of course, a lot of people have had a hard time getting a a handle on what donald trump actually stands for in his campaign. and the pundits themselves are even having trouble explaining it. just check out what this one guy said. >> with mr. trump, it's very clear. i can't create -- gene and i were talking in the green room. i can't create any parallax
11:38 pm
campaign stops. >> right. >> where all the lines come together and i can see what is here. i don't see it. all i see are stray electrons. >> mm-hmm. >> and that makes someone like me very, very uncomfortable. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i couldn't have said it weirder myself. [ laughter and applause ] "the parallax, the electrons. the electrons with the parallax are just --" here's some international news. fidel castro wrote a letter addressing president obama's historic trip to cuba and said that cuba doesn't want any presents from the u.s. which, as any husband will tell you, means they definitely want presents. [ laughter and applause ] don't fall for it! don't fall for it! i saw that there's a new documentary about queen elizabeth that reveals that she likes to ride horses at the age of 90. she still likes to ride horses. [ scattered cheers ] they're coin operated and sitting in front of a a supermarket. [ laughter ] but she doesn't need to know that. [ applause ] don't tell her. don't ruin it for her.
11:39 pm
oh, my goodness! oh, look, no hands!" no, why would she say -- [ light laughter ] she doesn't do that. the doc -- she should change the wave. that would be cool. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: if her new wave was this. [ laughter ] the documentary also reveals that the queen wears bright colors so people can spot her. yeah. and if she forgets to wear bright colors, just remember she's the one sitting in the chariot wearing the gigantic jewel-encrusted crown. [ laughter and applause ] that's the queen. which one's the queen? she ain't wearin' any bright colors. [ light laughter ] >> steve: i don't see her. oh, no, that's a building. [ laughter ] that ain't the queen. >> jimmy: that's the queen. oh, no, that's my car keys. [ laughter ] where's the queen? >> steve: you got the queen in your hands. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? you didn't know where the queen -- >> steve: you got the queen in your hand. i see it. >> jimmy: i'm not holding the -- this is a remote control.
11:40 pm
>> jimmy: what's wrong with you? >> steve: it was a bright color. >> jimmy: here's another weird story out of the u.k. i read that a cat in england actually survived for eight days after it climbed into a a box and its owner accidentally mailed it. [ light laughter ] the cat is doing fine, while the person who opened that box no longer has a face. [ laughter and applause ] i'd be upset, too. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: let's get to some sports here. i saw that a spring training game was delayed recently when a player for the chicago cubs was swarmed by bees. player was fine, while the pitcher had no idea what the signal he was getting. [ laughter ] screwed that joke up. so bad. i screwed that up joke so bad. [ applause ] i can't fix that. i can't fix it. there's no way to fix it. [ light laughter ] god, i flubbed like three lines in that one. that was just -- [ light laughter ] i couldn't say chicago. swarmed by bees? what was i doing? what was i talking about? gosh, that was -- sorry. it was funny. you're so nice.
11:41 pm
you still were nice. you laughed. that means a lot to me. you laughed and made me feel good, but that was -- want me to do it again? >> audience: yeah! >> jimmy: all right, hey, let's get to some sports. you guys like sports? [ cheers ] i saw that a spring training game was delayed recently when a player for the chicago cubs was swarmed by bees. [ audience ohs ] the player was fine, while the pitcher had no idea what signals he was getting. [ cheers and applause ] did you guys see this? novak djokovic was playing in the miami open this weekend and he turned some heads by catching a tennis ball in his pocket in the middle of a a match. did you see this? take a look at this. this is real. >> points. >> jimmy: watch, he's -- and --
11:42 pm
>> jimmy: look at the slow-mo. yeah. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] the ball boy was like, "do i still have to get that?" [ laughter and applause ] "i got it, i got it! oh! oh!" [ popping sound ] >> jimmy: some local news here -- [ laughter ] [ popping sound ] [ laughter ] some local news here, doctors here in new york will now be required to send prescriptions electronically instead of writing them by hand. but don't worry, the pharmacist will still loudly yell your name when it's ready. so don't worry. [ light laughter ] "boner pills for todd smith! [ laughter and applause ] extra large bottle of boner pills. t-o-d-d, todd smith. that's him right here. he's coming over here. he's got the boner pills. that's for him.
11:43 pm
talking about. hi, sir, how are you today?" "can you get off the loud speaker?" [ light laughter ] another local story, i saw that the times square spider-man actually wore his costume to court over the weekend -- [ light laughter ] to plead not guilty to assault charges. whereas i wear my spider-man costume to court just to get out of jury duty. [ laughter and applause ] "he looks guilty to me, your honor. looks like the queen!" that's right, times square spider-man had to go to court to face assault charges. in fact, his behavior has gotten so bad that they've even had to remake the opening of the old "spider-man" cartoon show. take a look at this. spider-man spider-man he's the times square spider-man punches tourists in the face shows his junk then gets maced watch out don't tip the spider-man [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show!
11:44 pm
[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a great week of shows ahead. james spader, taylor lautner and aaron paul will be here. [ cheers and applause ] plus, we have performances from weezer and comedian nate bargatze. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's going to be good. but first, we have a fun show tonight. oh, my gosh. this is a good one tonight. [ cheers ] from the new movie "the meddler", the beautiful, the talented susan sarandon is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: "the meddler." plus, this guy is a legend in his sport and one of the most popular, hardest working entertainers out there. he was great in "trainwreck", i don't know if you saw that.
11:45 pm
and "sisters." john cena is back on the show tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: john -- john cena. john is going to tell us about his new reality series, "american grit." i love my reality shows. and then i'm going to test his grit in a game of "sticky balls." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: really? that's no djokovic. >> jimmy: see if djokovic -- yeah. you beat me on that one. reminds me of an old djokovic. [ light laughter ] and performing tonight -- he's one of the most beautiful voices, most talented writer, performer, artists of our generation. i love this guy so much. from r.e.m., michael stipe is here tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't describe -- i can't describe how much i love this guy. i got to meet him a couple of years back with mutual friends. we went out one night with our friends julie and jane. we went out and went to a a karaoke bar.
11:46 pm
[ light laughter ] i was like, i couldn't believe that he actually walked in. i'm like, "oh, cool, he's just gonna --" you know, he's quiet. i thought he was just going to sit in the back. i go, "why don't you go out and sing something?" he's like -- [ light laughter ] we decided on a song and he went up and sang neil diamond and everyone was like, "what?" [ laughter ] this was before you could videotape anything on your phone. it was just, like, a memory that you had to keep. this is -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: kids won't understand that. >> jimmy: kids won't understand that. yeah. but you had to remember stuff years back. yeah. anyway, he's here tonight. he's going to do something touching and awesome and just beautiful. so stay tuned if you're at home watching, because tonight is going to be memorable. [ cheers and applause ] guys, it is time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ]
11:47 pm
>> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of taking a carnival cruise to cuba. [ light laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: there are some cons. >> steve: oh, really? >> jimmy: starting in may, carnival will offer cruises from the u.s. to cuba. and it's the first time this has happened in over 50 years. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: yeah, so let's look at the pros and cons of taking a carnival cruise to cuba. here we go. pro -- getting to see what life is like in a third world country. con -- then getting off the ship and going to cuba. [ laughter and applause ] pro -- meeting a new friend on the cruise. con -- realizing he's one of those people who pronounced cuba as "coo-ba." [ laughter and applause ] they get annoying. pro -- the cruises to cuba start the first week of may. con -- signing up for the special sink-o de mayo voyage. [ laughter ]
11:48 pm
that's awful. pro -- there's an olive garden on the main floor. con -- there's a chipotle on the poop deck. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: there's options. what i'm saying is there's plenty of options. >> steve: cruise ship. ship. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pro -- receiving a commemorative dvd of your carnival cruise experience. con -- it's just an episode of "dateline." [ audience groans ] [ applause ] oh, that's bad. >> stevethey were murdered. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pro -- waving good-bye as the ship leaves cuba. con -- you wave like this. >> all right. [ laughter ] >> steve: see ya. it's the queen! it's the queen! >> jimmy: is that the -- it's the queen right there! no, it's the president of the united states. >> steve: oh, my bad. i thought it was the queen. >> jimmy: i'm not wearing my contacts. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you don't wear contacts. >> jimmy: i don't wear
11:49 pm
wait a second. >> steve: hey! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like "weekend at bernie's." >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "you're the coolest, bernie!" can we see that video again? can i just see the video? >> all right. >> jimmy: there you go, yeah. looks like he's dunking on him. pro -- learning about a bitter conflict that's been going on for decades. con -- the one between the old married couple standing in front of you in the buffet line. [ laughter and applause ] stay out of it. stay out of it. >> steve: don't get involved. >> jimmy: pro -- before this, the only way to travel to cuba was on a a makeshift raft with no food or water. con -- or as carnival calls that "business class." it's business. [ applause ] finally, pro -- passing by the prisoners at guantanamo bay and thinking, "i'm glad that's not me." con -- the prisoners at guantanamo bay looking at the carnival cruise ship and saying, "i'm glad
11:50 pm
[ applause ] that's the "pros and cons." we'll be right back with susan sarandon! [ cheers and applause ] you're watching your go-to movie. which has that one scene you forgot about. so you use your go-to parental blocking device... which also happens to be your go-to snack. baked with real ingredients. no artificial flavors or colors. introducing good thins.
11:51 pm
hey, need fast heartburn relief? try cool mint zantac. it releases a cooling sensation in your mouth and throat. zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. nexium can take 24 hours. try cool mint zantac. no pill relieves
11:52 pm
11:53 pm
11:54 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an academy award winning actress who stars in the new film "the meddler" which opens in select theaters on april 22nd. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, susan sarandon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we love you. hi! welcome back. >> i love those guys.
11:55 pm
>> jimmy: thank you so much for being here. >> you're rocking those bee jokes. >> jimmy: i mean. >> fabulous bee jokes. >> jimmy: the bee ones. oh, thank you. i try to do a swarm of bees jokes every single night. thank you for brining it up. >> i'm glad i could be here for that. >> jimmy: i'm glad you could be be here, too, yeah. everyone's all a-buzz. [ laughter ] now, honey -- >> uh-huh. [ laughter ] [ southern accent ] >> jimmy: i wanna talk about your new movie, honey. >> uh-huh, you do that, honey. uh-huh. >> jimmy: yeah. first of all what's -- >> you know, that's my grandma name, honey. >> jimmy: honey? >> honey. >> jimmy: i did not know that. >> now you know. >> jimmy: yeah, you do, yeah. [ laughter ] that's a great name. >> he calls me honey. honey, hug me. >> jimmy: was that a real name or a nickname? >> in the south, well no, it's not my real name. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i'm sorry. i thought you said it was your grandma's name. >> it is my grandma name. but she just calls me honey. >> jimmy: oh, it's your -- i thought you said it was your, "grandma's name." >> as i'm now -- should we start from the beginning? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. no, no, no, stop. no, no, no. this is the way the whole night is going. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's just the way it is. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we've just been bracing the obscure, the weird, and the fun. >> i'm digging it. let's go.
11:56 pm
>> what's next? just skip over that. [ laughter and applause ] >>t jimmy: come on! i want to know the story. all right, now i don't wanna know. >> that's obviously a stumbling block for you. let's just go. go to the next thing. what are we talking about here. >> jimmy: i don't know. yeah. >> what are we talking about. >> jimmy: how long have you been wrestling? no, that's for john cena. [ laughter and applause ] i don't even know what i'm holding. i want to know what happened to you. >> i fell. >> jimmy: did that happen in the ring? >> i fell down a mountain in colombia. >> jimmy: come on! [ laughter ] >> i fell down a mountain in colombia. i was hiking. and if you're going to fall, it's better to fall down the mountain because when you're up at the top someone has to take you down. but if you fall and break your ankle at the bottom, i highly recommend that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, okay. all right. so this all happened at the bottom. oh, that's awful. >> it happens, yeah. it's going to heal. it's kind of like, you know, phantom of the opera or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, a foot mask.
11:57 pm
really quick. you know it's the 25th anniversary of "thelma and louise." [ cheers and applause ] you've done so many iconic movies, but this one kind of -- this one kind of sticks with you. i mean this is a great one. this one stay was you here. everyone's like, are they thelma or louise or what do they feel like? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm thelma. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm a louise. i'm a honey. [ laughter ] but i heard this thing. does this ever come up? because i heard a thing on -- i read it on the internet, they're thinking about a sequel to "thelma and louise." >> they were thinking about it, but i can't imagine what that would be. and neither could they, obviously, because there wasn't one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how could there >> i said, what would i be and tim said, "you'd be getting a big check." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: would you be ghosts? >> do you have a suggestion? for what it could be? because i don't. >> jimmy: well, maybe after you -- spoiler alert. [ laughter ] after you drive off -- >> after we drive off.
11:58 pm
a spaceship or something? [ laughter ] or maybe it's not that big of a -- >> okay. the "x" files just came back, why not. we could do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: or maybe the cliff isn't that big of a cliff and you more just get into a a tumble, and then you're in a a coma for 25 years. [ laughter ] >> and then we wake up and what happens to us then? we're like -- >> jimmy: your identities are sw yapped and it's like a a danielle steele novel. >> i like it. [ laughter ] i like it. >> jimmy: not bad, right? >> yeah, okay. >> jimmy: yeah, we could make it work. yeah. >> all right. [ laughter ] i have a few other films that are getting anniversaries. we should come to you for everything. >> jimmy: why not, i'm good at this. i can just spit these ideas out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you should definitely do the identity swap movie. >> okay. okay. >> jimmy: let's talk about an actual movie that's out, "the meddler." congrats on this. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and what a good cast. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the mom of rose byrne. >> yeah, who's brilliant. so funny, so beautiful. had to do so much in one scene, like one take, like the "x-games" of acting.
11:59 pm
crying, angry, crying and laughing, all in like one scene. >> jimmy: the x games of acting. >> you'll see. you'll love it. you'll love it. it it's really good. [ cheers and applause ] really good. >> jimmy: you're the mom and you're meddling. you're the meddler. you're meddling in her life. >> i try -- yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i tend to try to -- i'm well intentioned. >> jimmy: yes, you're well intentioned. >> i'm well intentioned. and there's a lot of funny things and everyone has a a mother so you can relate to it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and your mother meddles? do you have a meddler? >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. yeah. i mean, kind of not really. i mean, she's just more -- at this point, i just, i can't even just discuss. you know? [ laughter ] she calls me the other day because they're going on vacation, my parents, for the first time in ten years or something. they just don't go on vacation. i go, "great, please go on vacation. it'll be fun." they go, "all right, so i'm already packing." it's like three weeks away, they're already packing. [ laughter ] then i go, "i can't even talk to you about that." and she goes, "we're leaving here at 2:30 in the morning.' i go, "all right, why?" she goes, "well, the flight's at 6:00. they say you should be there
12:00 am
and i go, "what are you going to do at the airport at 4:00 in the morning or whatever time you get there. 3:00 in the morning? and then what time do you get to the place?" this story goes nowhere, by the way. [ laughter ] >> it sounds like you're meddling in her life actually. >> jimmy: well, i didn't -- [ audience ohs ] >> i don't know. get to the end. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: anyway, she drove off a cliff. she drove off a cliff. it's a sad ending. no, no, no -- thank you very much. no, no, no. anywasys, we'll cut this out. but i just want to tell you what happens. so anyways, she's going, and 6:00 a.m. i go, by the time -- [ laughter ] have a drink, 'cause this is a a long story. >> i can tell. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i said, "by the time you get there it's going to be 9:00 in the morning. your room won't be ready until 3:00. what's wrong with you and dad?" i go, "you're the one that booked this flight. you booked it, right?"
12:01 am
[ cheers and applause ] oh, my god, were there any bees around? [ laughter and applause ] oh, god. okay. >> jimmy: i'm so fun to hang out with. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, we have a clip here. here's susan sarandon and rose byrne in "the meddler" in theaters april -- >> oh, wait a minute. [ laughter ] which i think you have to set it up. you have to say that it's valentine's day and the guy that comes in is her ex-boyfriend. all right, now do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's in theaters april 22nd. [ laughter ] check this out.
12:02 am
>> hey, you two. >> hey. >> hey, marnie. >> jacob, it's good to see you. you know, i never said anything bad about you. >> you know elise, right? >> yeah. >> yeah. >> well, we don't want to interrupt your girl time. >> no. no, no, it's fine. we were just doing a drive-by until i go out later. i didn't want her to spend valentine's day alone. >> i didn't want her to spend it alone either. >> i'm not alone. >> no. we're together. >> until later when i'm meeting other people. >> i thought we were having a a sleep-over? >> that's so cute. i wish my mom and i were that close. >> aw, well, maybe when you get older. >> jimmy: come on! you know how to do it right there. the best, susan sarandon, everybody, "the meddler" is in theaters april 22nd! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with john cena, everybody.
12:03 am
captain obvious, why are you running for president? because it's a lot faster than walking for president. have you found a running mate? i think i just did. no you didn't. this press conference is over. that's the wrong way sir! supported by hotels.com. ohhh. hey siri, set timer for fourteen minutes. ok, fourteen minutes and counting. waiting for cookies. hey siri, play me
12:04 am
thank you. me so hungry for cookie. hey siri, check the timer. here's the timer. agh. alright, what do you think boys? we could do tacos. we could do some thai. ooo... how 'bout sushi, eh? (dog yawns) no, we're not having barbecue... again. (dog groans) why? because you're on four legs, and i'm on two... and i'm driving.
12:05 am
(dog whines) shi it is. p lease a 2016 lincoln navigator tfor $599 a month p only at your lincoln dealer. action! sweetheart, don't look at me like that, it's gonna be amazing. this is a disaster! who's the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate? miss monroe, eat a snickers. why? you get a little cranky when you're hungry. better? much better. this scene will never make the cut,
12:06 am
if i want to go up... hello. or if i want to go down... no. but then if i want to come back again... yes. it's perfect. my favorite part is to be able to lift your legs up a little bit and it feels like i'm just cradled. (vo) change your sleep, change your life,
12:07 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a 15-time wwe world heavyweight champion. [ cheers ] and international ambassador for his sport. he's hilarious in big comedies like "trainwreck" and "sisters," and is the executive producer and host of a really new cool reality series called "american grit," which premieres thursday april 14th at 9:00 p.m. on fox. please welcome back, a good friend of the show, mr. john cena!
12:08 am
>> jimmy: you are the best. we love having you here. welcome, john cena. >> and i love being here on a a night like tonight. everybody's got the giggles. stuff's going good. the crowd is excited. >> jimmy: hot crowd. [ cheers ] hot crowd. i knew it. >> do you know why? >> jimmy: why? >> i'll tell you why, because it's wrestlemania season and they know it. [ cheers and applause ] which they also means they also know wrestlemania is this sunday, and if they're not traveling to dallas to at&t stadium to see wrestlemania they know to sign up on the wwe network to watch wrestlemania. [ laughter ] and if they've never signed up on the wwe network and this is their first time they're going to get wrestlemania for free! >> jimmy: woah, my god! [ cheers and applause ] >> all right. else. >> jimmy: all together now. all together now, yeah. i don't know how you do it all. i don't know how you do it all. >> i'm insane. no but i mean -- >> clinical diagnosis, real disease. >> jimmy: last time i saw you here and i told you how good you are but i really, really meant it. >> liar! you're a liar.
12:09 am
>> you looked me in the eye and lied to my face. >> jimmy: no. i told you. i couldn't even believe it. you're in a movie with unbelievable comedians and you're stealing the scene. >> none of which you're naming right now, i mean, it's unbelievable, it's great. >> jimmy: yeah. was that an impression of me? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not bad. [ laughter ] but it means it's amy schumer, tina fey, amy poehler. [ cheers ] >>ki some great people. yeah. >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> so let me get this straight. all these funny people were in movies that you thought were funny. that's how it's supposed to go. >> jimmy: well, i know. but i didn't expect you to be funny. [ laughter ] [ booing ] no, no. i was just kidding. no, no, john, john. john, i was kidding. john, i meant your jokes. oh, no. john. [ laughter ] talk to me. son? son?
12:10 am
[ laughter ] son? john talk to me let me know where your head's at now [ cheers ] you're my boy "you're my boy", it's our new musical. >> you guys are really good sports, thank you. >> jimmy: you're my boy. dude, i knew you were going to be funny. you were just unbelievable in it. so that's, i just can't stop saying. [ laughter ] let's talk about "american grit." >> let's talk about "american grit." >> jimmy: because "american grit", it's on fox. >> thursdays night at 9:00 starting april 14th, that's your new home for "american grit." [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i love reality shows and reality competition shows. it's kind of like "survivor," no, kind of like "american ninja warrior," but not really.
12:11 am
show you'll ever see. >> jimmy: yes, it really is. >> aside from this one, of course. >> jimmy: ah-ha. thank you, mr. cena! [ cheers and applause ] checkmate my friend. you're the greatest. what is the show about? because you can describe it better than i can. >> yes. we have four decorated military heroes, we've got a navy seal commander, a sergeant from the united states army, a 19 year gunnery sergeant from the marine corps who's a female and badass, and we got an army ranger sniper and they're each going to lead teams of four normal civilians through these military teambuilding challenges. now, you watch the crazy, outlandish reality competition series, there's just a really good moral dna to this because if you listen to the military heroes we've got, they think there is a large gap between military folks and civilians. and these guys have so much real life experiences being in some crisis situations. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and having to manage large groups to move efficiently. so it's basically that passage of knowledge so these civilians can kind of learn through these mentors and evolve through this challenge and if they can make
12:12 am
a hefty paycheck. they could win up to a a million bucks. so it's really cool to see these really decorated heroes pass on some knowledge that has really been kept to the military to these civilians and let them solve these teambuilding exercises in a way that's -- nothing like its on tv. it really is a special show. >> jimmy: and the guys that you have learning the lessons, whoever did the casting deserves an award. because that, i mean, you got some real characters. >> there's all different types of personalities. >> jimmy: there's characters on this show. >> yes, there is. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> but honestly, through it all -- through it all. and the goal of this was to get these type of characters and literally you can watch them evolve through this journey. they may start one way. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know one guy, you know, the -- >> the guy? >> jimmy: yeah. >> the guy with the face? >> jimmy: the guy with that face. [ laughter ] no, there's a guy who's like a -- he's a physical trainer. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's a villain. no, that's my opinion. >> okay.
12:13 am
everybody. >> jimmy: what are you saying? >> you already made fun of me. [ audience aws ] you. >> yeah, you did. of you. >> you said i wasn't funny. >> jimmy: no. be funny. [ laughter ] john, john. every time you're on the show you do a bit you do something that's funny, and i love it. and you always destroy. you're one of my favorite >> because i destroy your place. [ laughter ] in the best way. in the best way. i love you. >> they are awesome! hot crowd. hot crowd tonight. >> jimmy: well, i mean, since day one, i wanna say the first week when we did "late night" you were our guest. >> yeah. >> jimy: and you came out through the floor with smoke. >> oh yeah. >> jimmy: do you remember that? >> yes, i do. it was terrifying. >> jimmy: there was too much smoke. >> there was too much smoke. you guys had made some really small trap door that you wedged me through. i felt like mozzarella cheese going through a grater. [ laughter ] clothes ripped to shreds. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i had to walk down the staircase. >> jimmy: with all the smoke. >> yeah, of course, it was awesome. made it. it was great. >> jimmy: you did make it. yeah. >> i'm here.
12:14 am
would be fun because we talked about your show, "american grit." >> yeah. watch "american grit," guys. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to watch it. [ cheers and applause ] but also, i know you're nursing a sore shoulder, right? >> i had surgery. i fell up a mountain in the great plains. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a theme. don't go hiking there. >> never fallen up a mountain before. >> jimmy: never fallen up a a mountain before but now you did. uh, honey? [ laughter ] >> come on. >> jimmy: do you want to play a come back? [ cheers ] >> yes. let's play a game. let's play a game. >> jimmy: john cena and i are playing sticky balls after the break! you don't want to miss this game! [ cheers and applause ] during the lexus command performance sales event... [sportscaster vo] there's always a cause for celebration. [sportscaster vo] with extraordinary offers on our highest expressions
12:15 am
including the visionary ls... the generously appointed es... and the new, eight-passenger lx. [sportscaster vo] because thrills like this... only happen during the command performance sales event. this is the pursuit of perfection. drop that beat. yea we rocking right now. one time... two times. the original triscuit. it starts simply with three ingredients. start with triscuit and honey, you're only limited by your imagination,
12:16 am
let' s go. what? you didn' t even move your hands! another game! i' ve got a table ready at 6:00 o' clock. alexa, how' s the traffic? female voice: the fastest route is 45 minutes to downtown. jason, get in the sidecar. (engine rumbling) red lobster's lobsterfest is back. so come try the largest variety of lobster dishes of the year, like lobster lover's dream or new dueling lobster tails. it's a party on every plate, and you're invited. so come in while it lasts. he' ll take my arm. when we' re walking, rolling and rocking. woo!
12:17 am
12:18 am
12:19 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to "the tonight show." i'm here with john cena, everybody -- [ cheers and applause ] who we love. he has a new reality series, "american grit."
12:20 am
april 14th at 9:00 p.m. [ light laughter ] john and i are about to play a a game of sticky balls, which of course refers to these balls which stick to these velcro suits that we're wearing. >> what would they think it'd be? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know. i'm just saying. maybe like we're making like a a dessert, sticky balls. [ laughter and applause ] hey, we're going to put 45 seconds on the clock and then throw these sticky balls at one another until time runs out. once we're done, john and i each will count the sticky balls stuck to the other guy. the one with the most balls stuck to his suit loses. [ laughter ] questlove -- the first ball thrown has to be one of the balls on your center line here. >> okay, fair enough. >> jimmy: okay, very good. no crossing over into the other guy's court. >> just want you to know i'm all balls, bro. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a ballsy game, man. absolutely no removing of the balls from your suit once you've been hit. >> okay, fair enough. >> jimmy: perfect.
12:21 am
now, let's assume the position. [ laughter ] all right, ready? assume the position. hand on the wall. ready? three, two, one, sticky balls! [ cheers and applause ] >> i will kill you. if you throw something at me, i will kill you. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
12:22 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> that was actually pretty fun. [ applause ] that's a pretty good time. >> jimmy: that was it right here. looks like a close -- close game. sticky balls, exhausted. >> jimmy: john, will you count >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] well, you at least got two. >> jimmy: yeah. thank you. thank you. >> four. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm going to save that one for later. [ laughter ] six, eight, ten. this is a nice one. 12, 14. >> jimmy: my spanx is coming off. [ laughter ] >> 15. >> jimmy: 15 balls? >> hold on. 16 and one quarter. [ laughter ] 17.
12:23 am
[ applause ] >> jimmy: one, two. >> just do it, man. >> jimmy: three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 11, 12, -- >> get the ones down low. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 13. [ laughter ] 14. [ laughter ] >> what's the damage? how much do i owe you, man? >> jimmy: 16. it's a tie. [ audience shouting ] no, there isn't! >> oh! >> jimmy: 18! [ audience ohs ] john cena, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] my man, john cena. check out "american grit," everybody. >> master of the balls! >> jimmy: we have a performance by michael stipe after the break!
12:24 am
we got another one. i have an orc-o-gram for an "owen." that's me. you should hire stacy drew. she wants to change the world with you. she can program jet engines to talk and such. her biggest weakness is she cares too much. thank you. my friend really wants a job at ge. mine too. i'm a wise elf from a far off shire. and sanjay patel is who you should hire. thank you. seriously though, stacy went to a great school and she's really loyal. you should give her a shot. sanjay's a team player and uh... buy one take one is back at olive garden choose one delicious entr\e at our place and another for yours starting at $12.99 may all your tomorrow's be as delicious as today olive garden get 30% off every guest every ship in the caribbean but hurry, this offer won't last long come seek the royal caribbean book today at
12:25 am
(ricky gervais) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them stretch the truth. one said they were the fastest. we checked, it was fastest in kansas city and a few other places. verizon is consistently fast across the country. you wouldn't want to hear from the bloke who packs your parachute, "it's good over kansas." do you know what i mean? so that's, you know... anywhere else, splat. only verizon is the #1 network for consistently fast speeds. and now if you buy a samsung galaxy s7 edge you get one free. you're watching your go-to movie. which has that one scene you forgot about. so you use your go-to parental blocking device... which also happens to be your go-to snack. baked with real ingredients. no artificial flavors or colors. introducing good thins.
12:26 am
you get a cold. you can't breathe through your nose. suddenly, you're a mouthbreather. well, just put on a breathe right strip which instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than cold medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight mouthbreathers.
12:27 am
hey, need fast heartburn relief? try cool mint zantac. it releases a cooling sensation in your mouth and throat. zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. nexium can take 24 hours. try cool mint zantac. no pill relieves
12:28 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical
12:29 am
sold-out "music of david bowie" tribute concerts here in new york this week. [ cheers and applause ] you can live stream friday's concert at musicofdavidbowie.com. 100% of the proceeds will benefit music education charities. performing david bowie's "the man who sold the world," please welcome michael stipe! [ cheers and applause ] we passed upon the stair we spoke of was and when although i was not there he said i was his friend which came as
12:30 am
i thought you died alone a long long time ago oh no not me i never lost control you're face to face with the man who sold the world i left and shook his hand and made my way back home i searched for form and land for years and years i roamed i gazed a gazely stare at all the millions there we must have died alone a long long time ago
12:31 am
not me i never lost control you're face to face with the man who sold the world who knows not me i never lost control you're face to face with the man who
12:32 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: michael stipe, everybody! thank you very much. we'll be right back.
12:33 am
12:34 am
12:35 am
since 1961, pearle vision has provided the neighborhood with expert eye care. that was dr. stanley pearle's vision and we still proudly carry on his legacy. today, doctors like lisa hamilton perform eye exams that can help detect diabetes. because we care for you... and your eyes. this is genuine eye care, in your neighborhood.
12:36 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our thanks to susan sarandon, john cena, michael stipe, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with
12:37 am
have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- tracy morgan. from "billions," actress maggie siff. journalists john heilemann and mark halperin. featuring the 8g band with stanton moore. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how's everybody doin' tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's fantastic. let's get to the news.

102 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on