tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC April 1, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EDT
jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- aaron paul. governor chris christie. comedian nate bargatze. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: show 1,000! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow! you feel the love! i feel the love right now! oh my gosh. hot crowd.
"the tonight show." this is it. you made it. this is the show to watch, "the tonight show." you guys, we have new jersey governor chris christie on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] which means right now, donald trump is unlocking his basement going, "oh, no, he escaped." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] actually, i saw that donald trump met privately yesterday with the members of his foreign policy team in washington, d.c. i think we actually have a a photo of that meeting. see, there. [ cheers and applause ] most important countries, finland, colombia -- >> steve: all the important ones. countries. in an interview yesterday, john kasich said voters are still learning who he is. and said, quote, "you go in the there's pepsi and then there's
[ laughter ] which explains his new slogan, "john kasich, the rc cola of canada." [ cheers and applause ] and get this, i saw that jeb bush is going back to giving speeches after his failed run for the republican nomination. he's actually a very talented motivational speaker, because after you listen to his life story, you feel great about yourself. [ laughter ] not bad. fantastic. this is kind of weird. an std clinic in los angeles is copying bernie sanders' campaign slogan to advertise its testing services. [ laughter ] take a look at this. feel the burn? [ laughter and applause ] freestdtest.org. >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: makes sense. because just like stds, bernie's campaign is super popular on college campuses. [ laughter ] that's perfect.
happy spring break! actually, i saw that the romance novel industry is booming and it's already a a billion dollar business. and to keep its popularity up and stay relevant, they're starting to release romance novels based on the current election. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah, we got a few copies, early copies of them. >> steve: i'm glad. >> jimmy: yeah, i'd like to show you what it is. i don't think it is a good idea. first up, there's "donald juan." [ laughter ] next, we have "berning with desire." [ laughter ] after that, there's "kasich instinct." hey. >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: hey! >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: hey, hey, watch it. [ laughter ] and finally, there's "not tonight." [ laughter and applause ] this is a big deal today. tesla unveiled its new model 3 electric car. and i saw that fans were
reserve one. yeah, camping out. camping out is actually great practice for when their cars run out of power 30 miles from the nearest outlets. it's what they're gonna do. [ applause ] and finally, i saw that according to forbes, the new "now that's what i call music" cd sold a quarter of a million copies last week. yeah, and it's actually the 93rd installment in the "now" series. but they decided to go ahead and release a best of cd. they even have a commercial for it, it's pretty interesting. check this out. >> after 18 years, and over 1,500 songs, "now that's what i call music" presents "now that's what i call now that's what i call music: the best of now that's what i call music." featuring songs like "the rockafeller skank" by fatboy slim. right about now the funk soul brother check it out now >> "blue (da ba dee)" by eiffel 65. i'm blue da ba dee da ba da >> "who let's the dogs out" by the baja men. who let the dogs out >> "blue (da ba dee)" by
"the rockafeller skank" by fatboy slim. "who let's the dogs out" by the baja men. "the rockafeller skank." "who let the dogs out." "blue (da ba dee.)" "the rockafeller skank." "blue (da ba dee.)" "blue (da ba dee.)" "blue (da ba dee.)" "blue (da ba dee.)" and "who let the dogs out." and "blue (da ba dee.)" and "blue (da ba dee.)" and "the rockefeller skank." and a lot more of only those three songs all on eight cds. "now that's what i call now that's what i call music: the best of now that's what i call music." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show, everybody. give it up for the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is emmy winning composer and member of prince
wendy melvoin sitting in with the roots today! wendy! [ cheers and applause ] wendy, aw, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. guys, you gotta come back again next week. on monday, melissa mccarthy will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and we're going to face off in an epic lip sync battle. that's monday, yeah. sorry, you're not here. [ laughter ] i was going to do the same thing with governor christie tonight. >> steve: yeah, really. >> jimmy: then later next week, greg kinnear, cameron diaz and kerry washington will all be dropping by. and we have performances from alessia cara and the lumineers. [ cheers and applause ] that's the record to look out for, the lumineers. and alessia cara is fantastic, too. but first, joining us for the first time tonight, we've done bits with him before, but he's never been a guest. he's a terrific actor. he killed it as jesse pinkman on "breaking bad."
he's legendary. he's got a great new series out on hulu called "the path." aaron paul is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] plus, from the great state of new jersey, governor chris christie is here! [ cheers and applause ] i think he's upset with me. >> steve: why's that? >> jimmy: from every joke we made about him every night. [ laughter ] >> steve: you mean about the thousands and thousands of jokes? >> jimmy: the thousands of jokes we made about him. i think he's a little upset. >> steve: why would he be upset about that? >> jimmy: i don't understand why. [ laughter ] but he jokingly gave me like a a punch back stage. >> steve: but it was a little too hard? >> jimmy: a little bit too hard, yeah. he hurt me a little bit. yeah. guys, we have stand-up comedy from one of my favorite -- i would say he's one of my favorite comedians of all time. every time he comes on, he destroys. he is just the best. everyone loves him. i love him so much. nate bargatze is here tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: if you don't know
he is a funny, funny, funny, funny human being. gosh, i love him. guys, this weekend is the ncaa final four. it's very exciting. [ cheers and applause ] you got -- who do you have? you have villanova -- [ screams ] --versus oklahoma. no, okay. [ laughter ] >> steve: not too many oklahoma fans. you have north carolina -- [ cheers ] --taking on syracuse. [ cheers and applause ] it's impossible to predict who is going to go all the way. but you're in luck, because when it comes to predicting things, we have a secret weapon, and it's puppies. that's right, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the puppy predictors, 2 2016 final four edition. [ cheers and applause ] puppy predictors puppy predictors >> jimmy: welcome to puppy predictors 2016 final four edition. here's how it works. we have nine puppies, four bowls of kibble. one for villanova, oklahoma,
whichever team's bowl gets the most puppies will be crowned the national champs. now let's meet the puppies. [ cheers and applause ] hey guys. welcome. welcome to the show. i know you can't wait. i know. welcome to the show. now guys -- tonight we have brad johnson. tom mcadams. mary kennedy. kyle mooney. donna braylin. peter winston. roger blaine. lisa armstrong. and gary frick,jr. now guys, guys, i need you to listen up here, okay? now look, here's what you're going to do. gary, get in the back. you don't get it the front. get in the back. now look, no butt sniffing, no fooling around, you guys. i want you to just get out there, and you got to predict what team is going to win, okay? you got it? all right, perfect. i love you guys. here we go. let's release the puppies,
go. go for it. [ audience aws ] who is it going to be? looks like syracuse in the lead. [ cheers and applause ] oh, he snuck in there. gary! gary, focus up! oh, no, look. it looks like we -- oh no, it's a tie -- it's a tie-breaker. it's north carolina! that's the winner right there, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] we have a winner. north carolina will be crowned the 2016 national champs. you heard it here first. enjoy the final four, everybody. we'll be right back with thank you notes. hey buddy. [ cheers and applause ] some people know
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>> jimmy: thank you, wendy! guys, thank you so much for watching the show. i appreciate it. hope you have a great, great weekend. today is friday. it's exciting. that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. yeah, i usually check my inbox, return some e-mails, and of notes. 'cause it's friday. [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit late today. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: well, i had to go out and get my suits tailored. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: and then i had to go -- i had to drink, uh -- you know, my monkey milk after my workout. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. you drink six gallons of monkey milk. >> jimmy: yeah, well i drink -- i got a monkey milkshake. [ light laughter ] on the way over to the gym. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: then i go there. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i work out for like three hours. [ light laughter ] i throw down two or three monkey milks after that. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and then -- >> steve: i pass out in the street. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and what can we do? i pass out. >> steve: they said i don't get enough oxygen to the brain. [ laughter ] but it's good. i love monkey milk. >> jimmy: i got one of those helmets with the two -- two things of monkey milk. and a big tube in there.
i do, like, a yard of beer. you ever heard of that? like a yard of ale. >> jimmy: no, i -- >> steve: i do that with monkey milk. >> jimmy: no, i come into work. i have two people hold my legs. i go upside down. [ laughter ] i do a monkey milk stand. >> steve: monkey milk stand. >> jimmy: yeah. every day. >> steve: oh, fantastic. >> jimmy: but anyways, i was running a bit behind. >> steve: sure. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know i have my chocolate factory. >> steve: yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have a -- >> steve: how's that working out for you? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you have a fudge factory. >> steve: i have two dairies. >> jimmy: you have a -- yeah. >> steve: yeah. and then i have a factory. so there's -- it makes lemon -- there's a lemonade stand. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. >> steve: and then around the corner, there's a chocolate -- there's a fudge shop. >> jimmy: so wait, let me -- so it's like, milk, milk, lemonade. and then around the corner -- >> steve: that's where fudge is made. >> jimmy: fudge is made. that's right. yeah, okay, good. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you're doing very well. congratulations. no, i hear it's a big hit, your fudge shop. >> steve: huge hit. huge. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] well anyways. i was running a bit late, and i was just -- was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, vice president joe biden, for meeting with the president of turkey this week. i heard the meeting went well until joe biden was like, "i used to draw you with my hand." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble! >> jimmy: thank you, april fools, for probably being what jesus shouted on the first easter. [ laughter and applause ] "hey, guys, april fools!" >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: come on! >> steve: it's-a me! >> jimmy: thank you, this week's super smart "wheel of fortune" contestant, or as that's also known, a regular "jeopardy!" contestant.
[ applause ] thank you, clif bars, for being a great snack if you're hungry for oatmeal and gum. >> steve: mmm. [ laughter ] [ applause ] chewy. >> jimmy: chewy and delicious. >> steve: chewy goodness. >> jimmy: yeah, this one will last you a couple hours. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] get a jaw cramp. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, snoring, for letting people be annoying even when they're unconscious. [ laughter and applause ] i don't snore! >> steve: i don't snore! >> jimmy: i don't snore. >> steve: i wasn't snoring, why did you wake me up? [ snoring ] >> jimmy: thank you, the song "the devil went down to georgia" for teaching us that at some point, the devil took fiddle lessons. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he's pretty good. >> steve: he's very good. >> jimmy: not bad. >> steve: he's not as good as charlie daniels. >> jim : wouldn't have been my instrument of choice if i was in hell. >> steve: if you were the devil you wouldn't have picked a a fiddle? >> jimmy: well, i wouldn't pick a wooden instrument. [ light laughter ]
>> jimmy: that's correct. >> steve: like an auto -- what about a harp made of, like -- >> jimmy: no. the harp is -- >> steve: flute? >> jimmy: that's wooden. flute i could do. >> steve: metal. >> jimmy: french horn. >> steve: french horn, sure. flugelhorn? >> jimmy: anything without a a reed. [ light laughter ] >> steve: right, no reed instruments. no woodwinds. >> jimmy: yeah, no reed. no woodwinds or reed or anything in that -- it's flammable. >> steve: what about like a -- what -- what -- [ laughter ] what about like a triangle? a triangle? tiny little -- hear me out. >> jimmy: but the rope that you hold the triangle -- >> steve: no, the rope is a a chain. rope is a chain. it's made of met metal. [ laughter ] it's made of adamantium. >> jimmy: i love that this is a a real debate that we're having. what would the devil really play? [ light laughter ] thank you, lunar eclipses, for being the earth's way of throwing shade. there you go, everybody. [ laughter ] those are my thank you notes. we'll be right back with aaron paul. come on back!
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we got another one. i have an orc-o-gram for an "owen." that's me. you should hire stacy drew. she wants to change the world with you. she can program jet engines to talk and such. her biggest weakness is she cares too much. thank you. my friend really wants a job at ge. mine too. i'm a wise elf from a far off shire. and sanjay patel is who you should hire. thank you. seriously though, stacy went to a great school and she's really loyal. you should give her a shot.
please welcome a talented man. say hello to aaron paul, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: there he is, aaron paul! [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you, thank you! >> wow. >> jimmy: thank you for finally being a guest on the program. >> oh, it's so good to be here. >> jimmy: you look sharp. >> so do you. >> jimmy: nice watch. >> oh, thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: i mean i -- i couldn't receive any gifts here. [ laughter ] >> this is a gift from when we wrapped "breaking bad." >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that looks great. thank you for doing -- we've done sketches before. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you helped us out with that. i appreciate that. >> oh, it's always good to be here. >> jimmy: did you see our puppies predict the -- >> those puppies, my god, yes. >> jimmy: they're cute, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they're really cute. >> i would love one of those puppies. >> jimmy: you want one? >> i mean, i already asked. they said they were all taken. you know.
>> jimmy: no, we can make something happen. [ laughter ] your wife would love it. your wife would love it. jonah hill took one home last time. >> i heard, yeah. >> jimmy: he was here, yeah. >> if jonah can take one, i would love to take one home. >> jimmy: you could, yeah. do you care about sports? are you excited about the march madness at all? or -- >> no. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: you could care less. >> i really don't follow any sports. >> jimmy: nothing? not any -- not the super bowl? >> i know, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: the super bowl? [ laughter ] >> actually the super bowl i'm obsessed with, yeah. my -- my wife -- >> jimmy: you're obsessed with the super bowl? >> i am. my wife and i have been going the past -- this is our sixth time in a row. yeah. i become die hard at the super bowl. a die hard fan for one of the -- >> jimmy: for what? >> for one of the players. [ laughter ] like, one of the teams that are playing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you know any of the players on the team? >> no, not really. i mean, sometimes i might. >> jimmy: this is fun. >> but -- >> jimmy: yeah, like last year, who do you -- >> i was rooting for the panthers, my wife was rooting for the broncos, 'cause she's obsessed with the manning family.
t?ma ings, but i the panthers play in the i'm like, "wow, that's a really good team." [ laughter ] so i'm like, "i'm going to root for them if they go to the super bowl." and i did and then they lost. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: how hardcore -- do you go crazy? >> i become a psychotic fan. yeah, i really dow he's a brilliant guy. >> i mean, i really -- he's just such an idol of mine. and i just reached out to him randomly to let him know that i love him. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and appreciate the work he's
>> yeah, and i start this is after the academy awards, some after party. and he happened to be talking to dicaprio, and i was just staring at elon in such awe. and he kept looking at me. we made eye contact multiple times. and i just -- i was a deer in headlights. [ light laughter ] could not look away. and then he is like, "who -- what is this guy doing?" >> jimmy: yeah. >> "why doesn't he say hi?" >> jimmy: nothing. >> nothing, no. >> jimmy: no. and then you didn't say hi? >> no, i didn't. i wanted to say hi. [ laughter ] i didn't say hi. >> jimmy: left it mysterious. >> dicaprio was saying hi. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, and he just won the academy award, so that's kind of a bigger deal. yeah. >> yeah, e was celebrating. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i just happened to be there. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. well, you did "breaking bad." >> yeah. >> jimmy: you nailed it. homerun.
grand slam. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: thank you. you're just great. and then -- did you get just nervous? you go, "what am i going to do next? what am i going to do now?" >> yeah. yeah, because i always joked around saying it's all -- you know, it's all downhill from here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know. which isn't a bad thing, 'cause "breaking bad" was such an iconic show. >> jimmy: no. you can't live like that. you're so young, and you're a a great actor. >> yeah, no i -- yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: actors act. >> actors act. but i read this, and i have this new show, "the path," and i read the first two episodes and it's just so twisted and dark, but brilliant. >> jimmy: yeah. do you want to explain what this is? now, this is a -- kind of a a lost soul. >> yeah, so i come from a very tortured past, and i was brought into this very controversial religious movement years ago. met my wife, she was born into the movement, we've now raised our two kids in the movement. and in the pilot episode, my character has this eye-opening experience where he is just not
anymore, but he can't say that because he will lose his entire family. >> jimmy: oh, that's very, very good. i want to show everyone a clip. >> yeah. >> jimmy: here's aaron paul in the brand new hulu drama series "the path." check this out >> i am really struggling here. i love you, and i chose you. >> you chose me? >> i chose you. >> what do you mean you chose me? chose me over cal? is that what this is? >> no! no, that is not what i am saying. >> no. i'm sorry, i'm sorry. all right? i know that i have been a a little off. but you need to know that you are it.
you're everything to me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. you know how to -- you know what you're doing. you're a good man. our thanks to aaron paul right there. check out his new series "the path" on hulu. governor chris christie joins us after the break! stick around everybody! [ cheers and applause ] hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't know everything. i know you asked me to call you the at&t hostess with the mostest okay, shut her down. turn it off. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. r is that ice cream? t no, it's, uh, breyers gelato indulgences. p you really wouldn't like it. it's got caramel and crunchy stuff.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is currently serving his second term as the 55th governor of the great state of new jersey. ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to "the tonight show," governor chris christie! [ cheers and applause ] hi. welcome. welcome back to the show. >> yeah, baby. >> jimmy: you're psyched to be here, right? [ light laughter ] >> couldn't be more fired up. >> jimmy: you're just so happy to be here. >> i love the pin very, nice. >> jimmy: thank you very much.
>> jimmy: thank you. got new jersey right on -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. you gave this to me awhile back. >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: you use to come on. you'd come on the show all the time. we always have fun here together. >> well of course we do. >> jimmy: yeah, we do. yeah, yeah. >> you seem nervous. >> jimmy: what's that? >> seem a little nervous tonight. >> jimmy: i'm not nervous at all. i'm not nervous. >> aaron paul make you nervous? >> jimmy: no aaron paul didn't -- >> that was an intense scene wasn't it? >> jimmy: yeah, that was very intense. >> anybody ever said that to you? [ laughter ] like, you are it! >> jimmy: yeah. you said it to me before the show. >> well, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're really into me. yeah. >> yeah, i'm totally into you. >> jimmy: i haven't seen you since you suspended your campaign. >> i lost. that's politicese for saying, "i lost." >> jimmy: no, see, well suspended means that maybe you can come back. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, but i -- >> i don't sense, like, a lot of pent up demand out there for that. [ laughter ] at the moment. at the moment, but we'll see. >> jimmy: that's why you say i am suspending, you don't say i'm ending my campaign. go you, i'm suspended in midair. i'm suspended. >> yeah. let's not go there, okay?
>> jimmy: well, yeah. >> you know, let's not go down that road now. >> jimmy: no. >> like you've done dozens, dozens of times on this program. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: clearly you're talking about gravity. and that's great. >> if i -- >> jimmy: there's no way you could be deflated in midair. >> if i leave public life, you will have to hire four additional writers. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: no, no. you know, we kid and joke around and jest, it is all good and fun and great. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and it doesn't seem to bother you. >> my kids cry but don't worry about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they do not cry. >> you know they do. >> well that's because you're eating their food. [ laughter ] no, that's not true. that's not funny. that's why they cry. i'm not saying that. that's one reason. that's one reason they could cry. hey you know what, buddy, that was a low blow, that's cheap, i don't like that type of stuff. i won't stand for it. >> you've become a a multimillionaire doing it. so it's going okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, you know what? i know that you don't care. i know that -- it's like you're fine with it.
a good mood. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i saw you behind trump on super tuesday. >> yes. >> jimmy: standing behind trump and you looked like you were having a blast. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you look at how much fun -- you're having such a good time. [ laughter ] were you being held hostage a a this time? >> no, no, no. you know what, this is what you would look like if you were standing behind jay leno when he was doing his monologue. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: i think i would -- >> true enough. right? i mean, you know. if you're used to talking -- >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> it's awkward not to talk. so if you're standing there, i'm listening. >> jimmy: yeah but if i -- >> like what are you supposed to look like when you -- >> jimmy: if i was standing behind jay leno i would move to the right maybe four feet and you just get out of the way and let jay leno talk. >> listen. >> jimmy: it's just awkward -- >> you don't know that when you're standing there. >> jimmy: you just talk and just have a good talk and just act like -- i'm just saying it's just odd to have a thing behind you. [ laughter ] >> i'm telling you. i like that. i like that he looks curious. >> jimmy: you don't find that distracting? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't find that
>> he look serious. >> jimmy: no. >> he listening. >> jimmy: but my eyes are drifting to someone behind you that doesn't look like he doesn't know where he is. >> by the way, that's what i was trying to do. [ laughter ] that means mission accomplished. what are you talking about? >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> all right, good. >> jimmy: i could put this behind me here. >> that's what you look like every night though! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i kind of do look like that. you look kind of confused that's good. and so, trump is talking and then that's -- [ laughter ] >> well, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, this is good. well, first of all -- >> i get the point. >> jimmy: why do you support trump over kasich and ted cruz? >> because i think he's better than them. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> it's not really hard. >> jimmy: yeah. no. >> that's why you do it. i mean, it wasn't like i drew it out of a hat or something, jimmy. you know? >> jimmy: no, i know that. >> it was my judgment that i thought he was better than the other two. >> jimmy: and do you still think that? >> and by the way, there was one other reason, you did not declare. if you declared during that
might have really gotten -- >> jimmy: you would have had got my back. >> i would have, of course. you got the pin. >> jimmy: i appreciate that. i do. i got the pin, yeah. >> yeah, you got the pin. i would have done that, sure. >> jimmy: i'm gonna ask you the question that everyone's asked you all the time. >> okay, sure. which one? >> jimmy: well, his v.p. if trump is the nominee, would you consider vice president? >> i have a hard time believing that anyone would ask me to be vice president. >> jimmy: really? you really do? >> what's the sense of that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i can move. i'll get that other one. >> like when you're vice president, that's basically what you do, right? >> jimmy: that's you're job. >> so i got to get better at it. >> jimmy: that's basically what you do, yeah. >> i got to get better at it than that obviously. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter ] >> all right, so that's out now. >> jimmy: yeah. that's done. all right, now we can actually really talk. >> i'd like to, you know, maybe what i'd like to do, when the governor thing's over, 'cause i got about 20 months left. >> jimmy: yeah. >> when it's over, i'd maybe like to play tambourine in the roots. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, they'll think about it. they can do it. they can make it work. we can make it work. >> i need something. i won't be bad.
i swear, i'll keep quiet. >> jimmy: yeah. but i do want to ask you about the big scandal that you have going on. >> which one's that? >> jimmy: well this is, you know what i am talking about. >> i do. >> jimmy: this is the m&m's scandal. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is you -- this is a picture of you and you were just pouring m&m's into your other or existing box of m&m's. >> no, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like you can't have enough. >> that's not what i was doing. >> jimmy: no that's why it's unbelievable. why would even people think that? >> no. it's not what i was doing. >> jimmy: why would people think that? >> now, listen, for anybody who's gone to an arena you know what's going on here. you buy the box of m&m's, right? >> jimmy: by the way, i knew this. i knew this. >> i know. you buy the box of m&m's, you bring it to your seat, you open the box of m&m's, and there's a a bag of m&m's inside the box of m&m's. it is an empty box with a bag of m&m's in it. so then you got a big choice to make. eat them out of the bag or do you pour them into the box? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? you don't pour them, that's not an option. >> sure it is. it's there it's an option. >> jimmy: no, but you're doing it. i guess it is an option there. yeah, you're right. >> because the bag is flimsy. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> it is, it's flimsy. >> jimmy: the bag is flimsy?
>> i am an enthusiastic fan. the bag is flimsy. >> jimmy: of m&m's? >> no, of the game that i'm watching. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, the game, yes, sorry. >> and so i am going to get up, i'm going to cheer, you got the bag that can spill all over the place. you got the box, you're set. and you don't lose an m&m and i don't want to lose an m&m. [ laughter ] not one. >> jimmy: all right. [ applause ] all right. >> not one. >> jimmy: okay. >> this is not that hard to understand. >> jimmy: this is a bag of m&m's we're talking about. >> right, so watch. open it up. >> jimmy: yeah, you open it up. >> all right. >> jimmy: yep. bag of m&m's. >> right? >> jimmy: yep. >> so. >> jimmy: open the bag of m&m's. >> right, you open the bag of m&m's up. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then just do this number. >> jimmy: and then i got another, i got a tube of m&ms. >> you got a tube? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i added that one in there. a man of your stature, you can't be eating out of the box. >> like the bag is better? >> jimmy: no, i got you something better for you. >> you got something for me? >> jimmy: yeah, i got you a a gold dish. [ laughter ] >> what's it say?.
m&m's. keep these m&m's. [ cheers and applause ] >> beautiful. >> jimmy: that's perfect. that's the way, that's the way. donald trump doesn't even have this at games. we love you, buddy. governor chris christie, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] that's for you. the very funny nate bargatze performs stand-up for us next. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] james drove his rav4 hybrid into the frozen wilderness. the scent of his jerky attracted a hungry wolfpack behind him. to survive, he had to remain fearless. he would hunt with them. and expand their territory. he'd form a bond with a wolf named accalia... ...become den mother and nurse their young. james left in search of his next adventure. how far will you take the all-new rav4 hybrid?
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that was unbelievable. it felt all right. [ light laughter ] i travel a lot. and, you know, it's not easy when you travel a lot. when you fly a bunch, you just think you're going to die a a bunch. [ light laughter ] i fly all the time. i was going through security recently, this lady in front of me told the tsa agent that was nervous about standing in the x-ray machine. and the tsa agent goes, well, it's a lot safer than that plane you're about to get on. [ laughter ] all right. like what. what plane is she about to get on, do you know something about that plane? like why would you say that? have you ever gotten on a a flight, and you just looked at everybody already on it, it just looks like a group that would go down in a plane crash for some reason? [ light laughter ] like i feel like i've seen you all before.
before we take off that he was retiring, and this was his last flight. [ laughter ] like just say that when we land, dude. we will be the same people. why are you putting this much pressure on this flight. he's basically just like either way this is my last flight, so [ laughter ] i don't even like to change flights. i am afraid i would change into one that goes down. that would be so frustrating. everybody is crying, and you're like you think you're upset, i paid $200 extra to get on this flight. you guys are lucky. [ applause ] i was going through a small airport recently, they just had like the metal detector. so we go through and the guy in front of me, it beeps. and they asked him they're
metal on you? he was like my keys. do you think that would do it? i would think that would be the number one answer on family feud of what would set off a a metal detector off. keys? we thought it was like his knee or something. he was like, keys do you think? let's try without it, see what happens. [ laughter ] maybe, you know. it was nice to catch a guy in a a dumb moment like that. i'm dumb so, you know, we gelled very well. i started talking to him, started to talk about the presidential race. said he was a big fan of donald trump. i was like dude, so am i. i love him. he's great. he is the perfect president for someone like me. i've never been political in my entire life. i don't understand politics, don't understand how the president effects my life. [ light laughter ] i drov here, i am going to drive home after, and it's just
i would love to be a winner. this guys the best guy i've ever seen in my life. [ applause ] you know? it is like an infomercial. you tired of losing? yeah. [ laughter ] you want to be a winner? yeah. i would like to win. i don't even know when we're going to win, but we're going to win a lot. and that's what i like about him. [ laughter ] he said he is going to make mexico build a wall and pay for it. i didn't know you could use that kind of logic on something. i want a fence around my yard and i am going to make my neighbor build it and pay for it. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, i would never have that courage if trump didn't come into my life. [ light laughter ] look, there's a couple of things though that could keep me from voting for him. just one being like how do you vote. i do not know how. i don't know if you can just
this counts, you know. i don't know if i go to a a building, like a bank? i hope it is a bank, i hope it is like you ride in one of those tube things that shoot up. [ light laughter ] that seems like a fun way to vote, it just shoots up, and they know exactly who i am voting for behind me, and so that's one. you vote? i don't know if it's already happened, going to happen. i remember turning 18, i was like i can vote today. they were like it is not today. that was the last i thought about it. [ laughter ] thank you guys so much! i appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on now, everybody. nate bargatze! [ cheers and applause ] for more, tour dates go to natebargatze.com. we will be right back, everybody!
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nate bargatze, once again, everybody! nate bargatze. my thanks to aaron paul, governor chris christie, nate bargatze. wendy melvoin, right there, wendy! [ cheers and applause ] and give it up for the roots, ladies and gentlemen, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. bye, everybody, i appreciate it!
[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- jennifer garner. from "silicon valley," actor and comedian thomas middleditch. star of nbc's "heartbeat," melissa george. featuring the 8g band with matt cameron. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. today is st. patrick's day, which commemorates the time when