tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC April 19, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EDT
rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- susan sarandon, john cena, musical guest michael stipe. d featnrint the legendary roots crew.e >> qre tlove: 443, baltimore! woo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, welcome, everybody! hi!
welcome to the show! hot crowd tonight here in new york city. oh, my gosh. welcome. [ cheers ] thank you so much. welcome. welcome to "the tonight show", everybody. thank you so much for being here. i'm your host jimmy fallon. guys, it's now the second week of spring, but new york city was under a high wind advisory hter ] "easy, boy. easy, boy. [ growling ] al l right, all right, calm down, boy. [ grownling ] all right, hold on. [ laughter ] okay. do you want a treat?" [ growling ] [ applause ] that's right. the weather here in new york was sunny, but chilly.
he hillary clinton." [ laughter and applause ] "of course i'm excited to be here in iowa!" t's talk a ittle bit about the election here. i read that "wheel of fortune" has been earning a lot of money from political ads, almost $18 million so far in this election. it even seems like trump may have been able to slip one of his ads into one of e puzzles. take a look at this. >> 500. >> "u"? >> yeah. well that fills that out. [ ding ] >> yuuuuuuuge! >> there you go. [ applause ] >>ay jimmy: "yuuuuuuge!" here's some international news. fidel castro wrote a letter addressing president obama's storic trip to c uba and said that cuba doesn't want any presents from the u.s. which, as any husband will tell you, means they definitely want presents. [ laughter and applause ] don't fall for it! don't fall for it!
documentary about queen elizabeth that reveals that she likes to ride horses at the age of 90. she still likes to ride horses. [ scattered cheers ] they're coin operated and sitting in front of a a supermarket. [ laughter ] but she doesn't need to know that >> steve yeah. and if she forgets to wear bright colors, just remember she's the one sitting in the chariot wearing the gigantic jewel-encrusted crown. [ laughter and appla] that's the queen. which one's the queen? she ain't wearin' any bright colors. [ light laughter ] >> steve: i don't see her. oh, no, that's a building. [ laughter ] that ain't the queen.
oh, no, that's my car keys. [ laughter ] where's the queen? >> steve: you got the queen in your hands. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? you di shi know where the queen -- >> steve: you got the queen in your hand. i see it. >> jimmy: i'm not holding the -- this is a remote coee'srol. >> steve: oh, sorry. >>ig jimmy: what's wrong with you? >> steve: it was a bright color. >> jimmy: here's another weird story out of the u.k.wi read that a cat in england actually survived for eight days after it climbed into a a box and its owner acdecidentally ailed it. [ light laughter ] the cat is doing fine, while the person who opened that box t longer has a face. ai m player was fine, while the pitcher had no idea what the gnal he was getting. [ laughter ] screwed that joke up. so bad. i screwed that up joke so bad. [ applause ] i can't fix that. i can't fix it. there's no way to fix it.
god, i flubbed like three lines in that one. that was just -- [ light laughter ] i couldn't say chicago. swarmed by bees? what was i doing? what was i talking about? gosh, that was -- sorry. it was funny. you're so nice. [ cheers and applause ] you still were nice. you laughed. that means a lot to me. you laughed and made me feel good, but that was -- want me to do it again? >> audience: yeah! >> jimmy: all right, hey, let's get to some sports. you guys like sports? [ cheers ] i saw that a spring training game was delayed recently when a player for the chicago cubs was swarmed by bees. [ audience ohs ] the player was fine, while the pitcher had no idea what signals he was etting. [ cheers and applause ]
asn >> points. >> jimmy: watch, e's -- and -- [ cheers ] >> jimmy: look at the slow-mo. yeah. [ light laughter ] [ applau ] oh!" [ popping sound ] >> jimmy: some local news here -- [ laughter ] [ popping sound ] [ laughter ] so yome local news here, doctors here in new york will now el required to send prescriptions ectronically instead of writing them by hand. but
will still loudly yell your name when it's ready. so don't worry. [ light laughter ] "boner pills for todd smith! [ laughter and applause ] extra large bottle of boner pills. t-o-d-d, todd smith.'s "can you get off the loud speaker?" [ light laughter ] anotr local story, i saw that the times square spider-man actually wore his costume to court over the weekend -- [ light laughter ] plead not guiy to assault charges. whereas i wear my spider-man costume to court just to get out of jury duty. [ laughter and applause ] "he looks guilty to me, your honor. looks like the queen!" that's right, times square spider-man had to go to court to face assault charges. in fact, his behavior had gotten so bad that they've even had to remake the opening of the old "spider-man" cartoon ow. take a look at this. spider-man spider-man he's the times square
i can't describe how much i love this guy. i got to meet him a couple of years back with mutual friends. we went out one ni t with our friends julie and jane. we went out and went to a a karaoke bar. true story. it with michael stipe. [ light laughter ] i was like, i couldn't believe that he actually walked in. m like, "oh, cool, he's just gonna --" you know, he's quiet. i thought he was just going to sit in the back. i go, "why don't you go out and sing something?" he's like -- [ light laughter ] we decided on a song and he this is -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: kids won't understand that. >> jimmy: kids won't understand that. yeah. but you had to remember stuff years back. yeah. anyway, he's here tonight. he's going to do something touching and awesome and just beautiful. so stay tuned if you're at home watching, because tonight is
at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] pros and cons and pros and cons and pros >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of taking a carnival cruise to cuba. [ light laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: there are some cons. >> steve: oh, really? >> jimmy: starting in may, carnival will offer cruises from the u.s. to cuba. and it's the first time this has happened in over 50 years. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: yeah country. con -- then getting off the ship and going to cuba. [ laughter and applause ] prg o -- metoeting a new friend on the cruise. con -- realizing he's one of those people who pronounced cuba as
[ laughter and applause ] they get annoyieg. pro -- the cruises to cuba start the first week of may. con -- signing up for the special sink-o de mayo voyage. [ laughter ] there's a chipotle on the poop deck. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: there's options. what i'm saying is there's plenty of options. >> steve: cruise ship. ship. [ light laughter ] >> all right.
it's the queen! it's the queen! >> jimmy: is that the -- it's the queen right there! no, it's the president of the united states. >> steve: oh, my bad. i thought it was the queen. >> jimmy: i'm not wearing my contacts. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you don't wear contacts. >> jimmy: i don't wear contacts. wait a second. >> steve: hey! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like "weekend at bernie >> all right. [ laughter and applause ] stay out of it. stay out of it. >> steve: don't get involved. >> jimmy: pro -- before this, the only way to travel to cuba was on a a makeshift raft with no food or water. con --
"business class." it's business. [ applause ] finally, pro -- passing by the prisoners at guantanamo bay and thinking, "i'm glad that's not me." con -- the prisoners at guantanamo bay lookine at the carnival cruise ship and saying, "i'm glad that's not me." [ applause ] that's the "pros and cons." we'll be right back with susan sarandon!
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>> jimmy: we love you. hi! welcome back. >> i love those guys. thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for being here. >> you're rocking those bee jokes. >> jimmy: i mean. >> fabulous bee jokes. >> jimmy: the bee ones. oh, thank you. i try to do a swarm of bees jokes every single night. thank you for brining it up. >> i'm glad i could be here for that. >> jimmy: i'm glad you could be be here, too, yeah. everyone's all a-buzz. [ laughter ] now, honey -- >> uh-huh. [ laughter ] [ southern accent ] >> jimmy: i wanna talk about >> uh-huh, you do that, honey. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, that's my grandma name, honey. >> jimmy: honey? >> jimmy: i did not know tha >> ne. you know. >> jimmy: yeah, you do yeod. [ laughter ] that's a great name. >> he calls me honey. ney, hug me. >> jimmy: oh, it's your -- i thought you said it was your, "grandma's name."
start from the beginning? [ islaughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. no, no, eas stop. no, no, no. this is the way the whole night is going. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's just the way it is. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we've just been bracing the obscure, the weird, and the fun. >> i'm digging it. let's go. >> jimmy: yeah. my grandma name. >> what's next? just skip over that. [ laughter and appla se a jimmy: come on! i want to know the sry. all right, now i don't wanna know. >> that's obviously a stumbling block for you. let's just go. go to the next thing. what are we talking about here. >> jimmy: i don't know. yeah. >> what are we talking about. >> jimmy: how long have you been wrestling? no, that's for john cena. [ laughter and applause ] i don't even know what i'm holding. i want to know what happened to you. >> i fell. bucolombia. i was hiking. anhad if you're going fall, it's better to fall down the mountain because whe jyou're up at the top someone has to take you down.
ankle at the bottom, i highly [ cheers avd applause ] you've done so many iconic movies, but this one kind of -- this one kind of stick yith you. i mean this is a great one. this one stay was you here. everione's like, are they thelma or louise or what do they feel like? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm thelma. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm a louise. i'm a honey. [ laughter ] but i heard this thing. does this ever come up? because i heard a thing on -- i read it on the internet, they're thinking about a sequel to "thelma and louise." >> they were thinking about it, but i can' imagine what that would be. d neither could they, obviously, because there asn't one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how could there possibly be? >> i said, what would i be doing? and tim said, "you'd be getting
[ laughter ] >>te jimmy: would you be ghosts? >> do you have a suggestion? for what it could be?tubecause i don't. >> jimmy: well, maybe after you -- sp nolaler alert. [ laughter ] after you drive off -- >> after we drive off. >> jimmy maybe you land of a a spaceship or something? [ laughter ] or maybe it's not that big of a -- >> okay. the "x" files just came back, why not. we could do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: or maybe the cliff isn't that big of a cliff and you more just get into a a tumble, red then ylu're in a a coma for 25 years. [ laughter ] and then we wake up and what happens to us then? we're like -- >> jimmy: your identities are swapped and it's like a a danielle steele novel. >> i like it. [ laughter ] i like it. >> jimmy: not bad, right? >> yeah, okay. >> jimmy: yeah, we could make it work. yeah. >> all ight. [ laughter ] i have a few other films that are getting anniversaries. we should come to you for everyt ng. >> jimmy: why not, i'm good at is. i can just spit these ideas out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you should definitely do the identity swap movie. >> okay. okay. >> jimmy: let's talk about an actual movie that's out, "the meddler." congrats on this.
>> jimmy: the x games of acting. >> you'll see. you'll love it. you'll love it. it it'mure lly goone [ cheers and applause ] really good. >> jimmy: you're the mom and you're meddling. you're the meddler. you're meddling in her life. >> i try -- yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i tend to try to -- i'm well intentioned. >> jimmy: yes, you're well intentioned. >> i'm well intentioned. and there's a lot of funny things and everyone has a a mother so you can relate to it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and your mother meddles? do you have a meddler? >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. yeah. i mean, kind of not really. i mean, she's just more -- at this point, i just, i can't even just discuss. you know? [ laughter ] she calls me the other day because they're going on vacation, my parents, for the first time in ten years or something.
g.' i go, "all right, why?" she goes, "well, the flight's at 6:00. they say you should be there two hours before." [ laughter ] and i go, rehat tre you going to o at the airport at 4:00 in the morning or whatever time you get there. 3:00 in the morning? and then what time do you get to the place?" this story goes nowhere, by the way. [ laothter ] >> it sounds like you're meddling in her life actually. >> jimmy: well, i didn't -- [ audience ohs ] >> i don't know. get to the end. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: anyway, she drove off a cliff. she drove off a cliff. it's a sad ending. no, no, no -- thank you very much. no, no, no. anywasys, we'll cut this out. but i just want to tell you what happens. so anyways, she's going, and 6:00 a.m. i go, by the time -- [ laughter ] have a drink, 'cause this is a a long story.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: i said, "by the time you get there it's going to be 9:00 in the morning. your room won't be ready until 3:00. what's wrong with you and dad?" i go, "you're the one that booked this flight. you booked it, right?" oh, my god, were there any bees around? [ laughter and applause ] oh, god. okay. >> jimmy: i'm so fun to hang out with. ah, yeahm yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, we have a clip here. here's susan sarandon and rose byrne in "the meddler" in theaters april -- that comes in is her ex-boyfriend. all right, now do it.
>> jimmy: it's in theaters april 22nd. [ laughter ] check this out. >> hey, you two. >> hey, you two. >> hey. >> hey, marnie. >> jacob, it's good to see you. you know, i never said anything baeid about you. >> you know elise, right? >> yeah. >> yeat. >> well, we don't wa to interrupt your girl time. no. no, no, it's fine. we were just doing a drive-by until i go out ater. i didn't want her to spend valentine's day alone. >> i didn't want her to spend it alone either. >> i'm not alone. >> no. we're together. >> until later when i'm meeting other people. >> i thought we were having a a sleep-over? >> that's so cute.
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champion. [ cheers ] and international ambassador for his sport. he's hilarious in big comedies like "trainwreck" and "sisters," and is the executive producer and host of a really new cool reality series called "american grit," which premieres thursday april 14th at 9:00 p.m. on fox. please welcome back, a good friend of the show, mr. john cena! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the best. we love having you here. welcome, john cena. >> and i love being here on a a nivit ake tonight. everybody's got the giggles. stuff's going good. the crowd is excited. >> jimmy: hot crowd. [ cheers ] hot crowd. i knew it.
>> i'll tell you why, because it's wrestlemania season and they know it. ur ee they know to sign up on the wwe network to watch wrestlemania. [ laughter ] and if they've never signed up on the wwe network and this is their first time they're going to get wrestlemania for free! >> jimmy: woah, my god! [ cheers and applause ] >> all right. now let's talk about something else. >> jimmy: all together now. all together now, yeah. i don't know how you do it all. i don't know how you do it all. >> i'm insane. >> jimmy: you are. no but i mean -- >> clinical diagnosis, real disease. >> jimmy: last time i saw you here and i told you how good you are but i really, really meant it. >> liar! you're a liar. >> jimmy: i hope you feel the love. >> you looked me in the eye and lied to my face. jimmydeno. i told you. i couldn't even believe it. you're in a movie with ns none of which you're ming right now, i mean, it's unbelievable, it's great. >> jimmy: yeah. was that an impression of me? >> yeah.
[ cheers ] you're my boy "you're my boy", it's our new musical. >> you guys are really good sports, thank yoe. >> jimmy: you're my boy. de, i kne you were going to be funny. you were j t unbelievable in it. so that's, i just can't stop saying. [ laughter ] let's talk about "american grit." >> let's talk about "american grit." >> jimmy: because "american grit", it's on fox. >> thursdays night at 9:00 starting april 14th, that's your new home for "american grit." [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i love reality shows and reality competition shows. it's kind of like "survivor," no, kind of like "american ninja warrior," but not really. >> but not really. it's kind of like the greatest show you'll ever see. >> jimmy: yes, it really is. >> aside from this one, of course. >> jimmy: ah-ha. thank you, mr. cena! [ cheers and applause ] checkmate my friend. you're the gre fest. what is the show about? because you can describe it better than i can. >> yes. we have four decorated military heroes, we've got a navy seal
united states army, a 19 year nnery sergeant from the marine corps who's a female and badass, and we got an army ranger sniper and they're each going to lead teams of four normal civilians through these military teambuilding challenges. now, you watch the crazy, outlandish reality competition series, there's just a really good moral dna to this because you listen to the military heroes we've got, they think there is a large gap between military folks and civilians. and these guys have so much real life experiences being in some crisis situations. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and having to manage large groups to move efficiently. soait's basically that passage of knowledge so these civilians can kind of learn through these mentors and evolve through this challenge and if they can make to the end, welnel theygs.. a a hefty paycheck. they could win up to a a million bucks. so it's really cool to see these really decorated heroes ss on some knowledge that has really been kept to the smilitary t these civilians and let them solve these teambuilding exercises in a way that's -- nothing like its o
it really is a special s.ow. >> jimmy: and the guys that you have learning the lessons, whwhoever did the casting deserves an award. because that, i mean, you go some real characters. >> there's all different types of personalities. >> jimmy: there's characters on this show. >> yes, there is. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> but honestly, through it all -- through it all. and the goal of this was to get these type of characters and literally you can watch them evolve through this journey. they may start one way. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know one guy, you know, the -- >> the guy? jimmy: yeah. >> the guy with the face? >> jimmy: the guy with that face. [ laughter ] , there's a guy who's like a -- he's a physical trainer. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's a villain. no, that's my opinion. >> okay. [ laughter ] but you don't like most everybody. >> t jimmy: what are you saying? >> you already made fun of me. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: i didn't make fun of you. >> yeah, you did. >> jimmy: no, i didn't make fun of you. >> you said i wasn't funny. >> jimmy: no. i said i didn't expect you to be funny. [ laughter ]
every time you're on the show u'you doea bit you do something that's funny, and i love it. and you always destroy. you're one of my favorite guests you know it. btcause i destroyu'our ace. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. in he best way. in the best way. the crowd loves you. i love you. [ cheers and applause ] >> they are awesome! hot crowd. hot crowd tonight. >> jimmy: well, i mean, since day one, i wanna say the first week when we did "late night"
great plains. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a theme. don't go hiking there. >> never fallen up a mountain before. >> jimmy: never fallen up a a mountain before but now you did. uht honey? [ laughter ] >> come on. >> jimmy: do you want to play a a game with me, please, when we come back? [ cheers ] >> yes. let's play a game. let's play a game. >> jimmy: john cena d i are playing sticky balls after the break! you don't want to miss this me! [ weareers andirpplause ] ws! the living room's a disaster! (vo) most insurance companies give you every reason to avoid them. pl s ants need pl anting! h.well the leaves aren't going to rake themselves! (vo) nationwide is different. hon, did you call nationwide to check on our claim? (vo) we put members first. actually, they called me. nationwide is on your side nationwide is the exclusive
maybe like we're making like a a dessert, sticky balls. [ laughter and applause ] hey, we're going to put 45so seconds on the clock and then throw these sticky balls at one another until time runs out. once we're done, john and i each will count the sticky balls stuck to the other guy. the one with the most balls stuck to his suit loses.to be , very good. nost crossing over into the other guy's court. >> just want you to know i'm all balls, bro. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a ballsy game, man. absosutely no moving of the balls fromryour suit once you've been hit. >> okay, fair enough. >> jimmy: perfect. [ laughter ] now, let's assume the position. [ laughter ] all right, ready? assume the position. ha und on the wall. ready?
game. >> just two dudes playing sticky balls, exhausted. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: john, will you count my balls, please. >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] well, you at least got two. >> jimmy: yeah. thank you. thank you. >> four. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm going to save that one for later. [ laughter ] six, eight, ten. this is a nice one. 12, 14. >> jimmy: my spanx is coming off. [ laughter ] >> 15. >> jimmy: 15 balls? >> hold on. 16 and one quarter. [ laughter ] 17. >> jimmy: 17? [ applause ] >> jimmy: one, two. >> just do it, man. >> jimmy: three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 11, 12, --
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: 13. [ laughter ] . [ laughter ] >> what's the damage? how much do i owe you, man? john cena, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] m this year, make every amazing, spicable, wizarding second of your vacation count by staying where the adventure never ends. come with me now... two theme parks. spectacular resort hotels.
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performing david bowie's "the man who sold the world," please welcome michael stipe! [ cheers and applause ] we passed upon the stair we spoke of was and when although i was not there he said i was his friend which came as some surprise i spoke into his eyes i thought you died alone a long long time ago oh no not me i never lost control you're face
with the man who sold the world i left and shook his hand and made my way back home i searched for form and land fo r years and years i roamed i gazed a gazely stare m at all the allions there we must have died alone a long long time ago ts w knofo not me i never lost control ou're faceuto face with the man who sold the world
it' s time to prove ourselves as men! and as fans of awesome tv shows! w are you with me? three, two, one... watchathon! big is back. xfinity watchathon week now until april 24. the greatest collection of shows free wirsth xfinity on demand. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our thanks to susan sarandon, john cena, michael stipe, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody.
[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with se th meyers." tonight -- olivia wilde star of, "peewee's big holiday" paul reubens, music from joywave, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers this is, "late night." w is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right, in that case, let's get to the news. tw