tv North Carolina News at 600AM CBS November 15, 2016 6:00am-7:00am EST
i guess that's all the time we have for today. i'd like to thank my guests -- mary schneider, the author of the bestseller "i bet you'll ban nuclear energy after your hair and teeth fall out," and also our local rubik's cube expert, tommy nesbitt. thank you, tommy. it's been a wonderful week. as "wake-up, boulder" completes it's first week on the air, i'd like to thank someone who exhibited a great deal of faith our general manager, miles sternhagen. this is mindy mcconnell signing off for now, wishing you blue skies and green lights. don't just sit there. shake hands. pretend you just heard something funny. [ no audio ] and we're out. it was nice of you to say all those things about sternhagen.
why? is he sick? this show oughta be called, "wake-up, mindy." sternhagen's been axed. you're kidding. we got us a new boss, so you just polished the wrong guy's apple. you're such a jerk. tommy: i did it! turn on the cameras! i'm finished! you're not the only one. all aboard for the mcconnell express, now leaving for anaheim... azuza...and kookamunga. oh, pops!
can i? can i? can i? mearth... mearth, i think you better watch me for a while so you can get the hang of it. i gave these trains to mindy over 20 years ago, but she wasn't interested in any toy that didn't cry or wet or have a best friend named midge. you know something, grandpops? that was a very moving, nostalgic speech. now, fork over the controls! oh, no! what a bummer! mearth, it's all right. it's just a few loose connections on the transformer. it's old and it doesn't work very well anymore. you understand, son -- like the nielsen ratings. hi. you'll never guess what happened. they fired sternhagen. hi, hon. big kiss. fork over those controls!
fire! stop it, daddy. we're playing trains, and i'm brand new to this. you mustn't be a robber all the time and do that. let me get used to playing with the train. come on, now, son. you had your chance, and you blew it really big. is anybody listening to me? the 5:15 is coming -- if no one throws the switch, zeke's not gonna get his mail-order bride named hilda. will you turn that thing off just for a minute? we're sorry, sweetheart. you're absolutely right. what happened. right, mork? of course. i should be the dutiful husband. zeke sent her a phony picture anyway. mommy, i'd really like to help, but my hands are tied because i have to experience this railroad stuff. i understand, sweetheart. anyway, they fired sternhagen. they just tossed him out on his ear without a word. is there nothing sacred? first, the ropers, now miles sternhagen.
now i don't know what's gonna happen. you'll be fine without him. mearth! don't you tie that little family to the tracks! oh, come on. are you kidding, grandpops? they're only rubber. come here, my little breadwinner. you're upset, and you have to remember the darkest is always about 3:00 a.m. if you'd heard the plug i gave sternhagen on the air today... i don't know if the new boss heard. i could lose my job. that could be a problem. if you're out of work, who's gonna pay for the food, the rent, the bills? those little smoke pellets for the engine over there? all aboard! head 'em up. go ahead. good.
that's pierson? he looks more like the general manager of a mcdonald's. i think he's kinda cute. who cares? you know how i've lasted so long? i've always kept my self-respect -- never kowtowed to any of 'em. how do you do there, mr. pierson? jake loomis, cameraman. pleasure. nice suit there. you know, i've been with the station for 29 years now. jake, in all the world, there's nothing sadder than an old fink. you're fired. oh, fine, great. well, let me tell you -- you're gonna meet the same people on your way down as you did on your way up... sonny. poor jake. i feel sorry for him... and i don't even like him. yeah, me too.
may i have your attention, please? thank you. i am daniel pierson, your new general manager. first of all, i would like to put an end to the rumor that people are going to be fired. that is not a rumor. that is a fact. tonight i am planning an informal but mandatory get-together here at the station to share some of my ideas and get to know your families better. at least for some of us. well, let's all try to keep in touch, okay? sure, mindy. yeah. mr. pierson, stan jackson -- sports at 6:00 and 10:00. pleasure. ooh! hey! wow. what a grip you got there.
i'm black. hi...i'm judi, your weatherperson. i'd like to welcome you with a big ktns warm front. how sweet. she's very sweet. there's more where that came from. mind...mind, am i glad i caught up with you, hon. i've got an important telegram from a major news network in new york! mork, don't to this to me! read it? i have to sing it! [ clears throat ] [ plays pitch ] [ singing off-key ] [ lisping ] 5, 6, 7, 8 -- ? we're looking for a newscaster ? ? one who speaks quite well ? ? and who doesn't wear a "toup" ?
? please join our team signed roone arle-e-e-dge ? mindy, is your parking space any closer than jake's? [ chuckles ] mr. pierson, that was just a little joke. i'm mindy mcconnell -- employee...for now. this is my husband, mork. he was just kidding around. he's a little nervous about my job. oh, mindy, please. don't apologize. i want you to know i appreciate family concern. just this morning, my mom called me to make sure that i dressed warm. oedipus, schmedipus -- mindy loves mamas' boys. oh, mindy, i just love his sense of humor. be sure to bring him to the party tonight. i bet he can give me a couple of pointers
[ as surfer dude ] fer sure. don't you have to be leaving now, honey? [ normal voice ] no. think again. you're right -- i should go home and wait by the phone for those important calls that are gonna come pouring in, babe! sweetheart, i'm gonna do for you what alan hamel did for suzanne somers. i think you already did. tell a friend. ? pardon me, boy, is that the chattanooga choo-choo? ? ? i'm on my way to see johnny cash today ? ? pardon me, boy...[humming] ...choo-choo? ? oh, no! no! the train has stopped! you bad engineer! daddy, come in here and make it work, please. what's wrong, son?
[ mockingly ] "where's that happy face i know so well?" if you want to see a happy face, go see "annie." if you want to see my face, see this. little bulldog boy. [ growling ] i'll fix the trains, and i'll make 'em run better than mussolini ever did. what you do is tighten this little doohickey here, this little doohickey there -- ha ha! and voil?! it's fixed. mr. goodwrench, move over. you know something, daddy -- ruly a superior being. oh, shucks, son. let's play this one together. [ electricity buzzing ] ooh! ah! [ as mearth ] daddy? [ as mork ] yeah, son? why am i talking to you and lookin' at me? holy shazbat! wait a minute. don't panic.
n for everything. the only thing i can't explain is this -- why is it that bob hope is still doing commercials? everything was fine until -- ah! ah! ah! don't do that. [ knocking on door ] mindy: mork, are you there? can you open the door? my hands are full. it's your mother. try to relax -- relax and pretend nothing happened, you understand? it'll put her uptight. so just relax and -- no! no! stop it! no! [ knocking at door ] what's going on here? little pooter. mind, mind, mind... big kiss, big kiss. what did you say, mearth? i didn't say anything, mommy. oh, you stoolie! we crossed minds. aren't i a little taller? huh? right? did i do good?
would you say no to a lot more money? [excited scream] you just won a million dollars! no thanks. nice balloons, though! or no to more vacation days? janet, i'm giving you an extra week's vacation! oh, ah... nooo. what? no way. who says no to more? time warner cable's all about giving you more. like the most free hd channels and virtually unlimited movies and shows on demand, so you can binge all day.
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you transferred minds through a train set? this is like a bad horror movie only i'm married to the mad scientist. mind, wrong body. i'm over here. oh, right. um...how long is this gonna last? i don't know. maybe 24 hours...150 years. we gotta get to that party where they have funny, little crackers with the bbs on them. come on. let's go. yes, mommy? mearth, will you go upstairs to your bedroom while your father and i have a little talk? so that's the way it is? he's in and i'm out. you've asked for it once again. butchie returns. i'll tell you something, son, once and for all. don't do that. your face will freeze. who cares anyway? it's not my body.
okay, mind -- mork, sit down. i'm ready. kayo. we're going to the party -- i just think it's late, and we oughta get to the party as soon as we can. go to the party? mork, i can't take you to the party with that face. little pooter -- mind, mind, mind. about this face -- i want to make something clear as your complexion. a come over to look at mork, right? then take my body...please. my job is hanging by a thread as it is. i can't take mearth to the party. he's just a child. that's true, but i'm gonna tell you something. he's half a superior being. remember that. he'll be almost as good as i would have been.
you call this a party? where's the cake and little party hats and the pushy father with the movie camera? jake! well, i'm glad to see you're back. stuffed mushroom, mindy? boy, are you older than dirt! give me a break. ain't i had enough for one day? no, thank you, but i'm glad to see you're working again. yeah, well, this is just temporary. if he says no, i'm gonna kill him. good evening, everyone! hey, thanks for coming. i would like to introduce you to the future of ktns. ju-ju... this is our morning schedule. you will notice that the only major change is the removal of "wake-up, boulder" and "kartoon karnival" in place of our morning movie.
don't worry, mindy. he's dead. so let's all pull together and make ktns the biggest little independent station in boulder. mr. pierson, i think you've made a mistake. you know, i like the road runner. excuse me? not now. not now. no, let him talk. i like to hear what the general public has to say. oh, and maybe not. i like when the road runner goes, "beep! beep!" and then i go, "beep! beep!" are you saying that a grown man like yourself watches cartoons every morning? i've seen "popeye" 14 times. and if you run it backwards, it has an ending. but, you know, basically what i really like is, like, when the coyote will paint a tunnel on the side of a mountain, and then the road runner just goes, vrrrrm!
bppt! he becomes 2-dimensional. i think...i think w-what mork i-is trying to say is that he appreciates an altered sense of reality -- something that contrasts the drabness of everyday life. i knew that. however, mindy, i want you to know that my morning movie will accomplish the very same thing. bummer! this is not real! what does he mean by that? you don't know? w-well...of course i know. it's just a simple, um, metaphorical approach to saying that, uh... movies only simulate reality, while cartoons, by virtue of their being so totally unreal, create their own level of reality, so, therefore, ergo, it only follows that all that which is real
oh! those are real. oh, that's brilliant! reality is direct personal experience. mindy, i had no idea that your husband was so perceptive about our media. neither did i. i want more, though. i'm still hungry. of course... you're still hungry. unfulfilled. you got it. you are still hungry because tv menus are limited these days, which is why people are hungry for knowledge and exchange of ideas. right, mindy? right, and it's up to our programming to be able to relay to the public information that will help feed that hunger. like a talk show. what a great idea. something really different. i will call it "wake" -- no, i will call it --
finally. something good. oh, it is. gosh, i love this business. now all i need is the perfect host to make it work. oh, look. pretty right under my nose. right again, mork. what we need is someone who can exude intelligence, warmth, and grace. mindy... yes? until we find somebody, you're it. oh. thank you. sure. i've just created my first show. gosh, now i know how god and norman lear felt. bye. mearth, you are an amazing little boy. you got mommy back her job, at least temporarily. i'm very proud of you, sweetheart. thank you, mommy, but could we go home now?
mearth -- i mean, mork -- are you sure well, as they say in french -- [ speaking french ] maybe. well, now, let's just keep a positive attitude. i mean, it always worked in "frankenstein." i was glad to use your body. i'm sorry i didn't have the opportunity to wash it. well, here goes. oh, great, dad. great. you should work for the defense department.
[ electricity buzzing ] [ normal voice ] oh! little pooter, i'm back! oh, mind! oh... [ as fred ] everything is back to normal. i'm certainly happy for you kids. i guess i better get off to rehearsal. [ imitating a trombone ] [ as mearth ] major bummer. this is worse. now i'm bald. look out... here comes the face. mind, now, come on. don't worry. we'll switch 'em back, and maybe after that, you and i could switch. i've always wanted to be whistled at
hi, i'm home. [ sighs ] mork! mearth! i'm home from work! what a day. [ groans ] no, no, no, no, no. you can keep your coat on, because if we really haul rubber right now, to the grocery store, the hardware store, and look -- i've saved up enough coupons to buy a small lear jet. mork, i just got home from work. i don't want to run out the door again. there's got to be something in this house we can eat. oh, we just have that cheese that the president sent us. oh. mearth! mearth! come on, son. move it. let's go. i'm moving.
i know you're in there somewhere. ooooooh, neat! hey, listen, mommy, can you get someplace where there's air conditioning? sweetheart. just give me a minute to catch my breath, mork. i just walked in the door. oh, i know, poor little pooped-out pooter, don't worry. come on, you just sit down here, and we'll make you feel so much better, mm-hmm? now we feel better, don't we? good. now let's haul tush. come on, let's go. mork, every time i come home, . there's got to be some way you can handle these errands during the day. oh, min, min, mindy, it's not that easy, honey. are you gonna go, or aren't you? no. yes. are you or aren't you? you know, i'll tell you something, both. i'm beginning to sweat as much as orson welles chasing a frisbee! right. well, we forgot about you under there. here, let me help you.
oh, i -- i don't believe it. i feel, mommy, like some kind of huge artichoke that's just -- you're deleafing me... or debriefing me, whichever. mork, you know, it would be a lot easier for all of us if you would learn how to drive. you want me to drive some primitive earth vehicle financed by the government? it'd be like asking the great pel? to play soccer with a b.b. mork, what if something happened to mearth during the day, like a real emergency, what would you well, i'd do what i always do -- fall apart. wouldn't it be simpler if you learned how to drive a car? it's a snap. in some parts of the country, you can get your license at 14. probably the same parts of the country where they marry at 8. listen, you two, i want to tell you something gently -- i've had it right up to... say, here, okay? i'm going into the bedroom. if i'm not called for dinner within an hour,
[ growls ] think about it. well, mork, have it your way. but i'll tell you, i think it's a shame. if you had your license, just think -- you could drive those 6 long miles to the arcade and play pac-man. but if you want to stand on the curb, sniffing at life's exhaust, that's your prerogative. he engine, you put your key in and turn it. a key -- that means i'll need a key chain. maybe i can get one with a little cowboy boot on the end or one with a little piece of tupperware. mork, forget the key chain. it's not important. are you kidding, mind? style is everything to me. okay, back on the track. now, this is a standard transmission. that means you have to change the gears
t was for, churning butter? doesn't really matter what i thought. okay. now, what you do to do that -- you take your foot off the gas and depress the clutch. oh, depress the clutch. clutch, have you ever seen the movie "brian's song"? how 'bout that last ali fight, huh? mommy, mommy, mommy! i'm getting carsick. i am, i am, i am. you know, sweetheart, so am i. i have come to the realization that i don't have the ability to teach you how to drive. in fact, i know for sure i don't have the patience. i think you should go to a driving school. the lesson's over, mind? yes. you know what that means? back to the grand prix! [ makes engine noises ] oh, what a day -- that you say -- when you drive -- in your way -- you can say --
[ knock on door ] hey, hey! as i live and breathe -- todd norman taylor. tnt -- that's my initials and my lifestyle -- a megaton of fun and a pretty fair limbo dancer. hey, where's my hug? we're a couple of today guys -- no macho hang-ups. how i missed you! well, i wish we could share something shallow right but my driving instructor is on the way over. oh, yeah? well, time's up. [ imitating tires screeching ] oh, huzzah! huzzah boom ba! [ as surfer dude ] well, fer sure. totally gnarly. [ normal voice ] wait a minute. i got to show you something. i've already picked out my bumper sticker. "aliens make better lovers." and look at this one here.
that's real trendy, mork. real cute. but if you're gonna be king of the road, you're gonna have to get serious about this... a lot of things you're gonna have to learn. for example, you know where to stash your binaca? you know how to drive with your wrist? more important -- do you know how to look cool when a lit cigarette falls between your legs? teach me, o' guru of the gearshift, my motor mentor. numero uno -- always, always stop for female hitchhikers. well, i'm sorry, but i'm married. married? ew! the ultimate social disease. sorry, i didn't know. that's all right. you still have a year to pick out our wedding gift. "questione" -- if you're not out cruising for skirts,
you wouldn't catch me in one of those deathtraps for all the musk oil in cleveland. d-d-deathtrap? as in [imitating crashing] deathtrap? oh. oh, man, no. come on. if it's that bad, why are you a driving instructor? teenage girls with learner's permits and i got the boss jacket for free. come on, now. y-y-y-you got to be kidding, there. it's not really that bad, is it? it's not dangerous. dangerous? out there. don't you ever watch "chips"? how would you like to get rolfed by three tons of cold, hard steel, huh? you're right. i'll just have to drive like a senior citizen looking for an address. go by me! go by me! well, that's real good, except then you'll be a real easy target. those people are out looking for blood. but, hey, take the zen view --
not the curve! ? you don't come back from deadman's curve ? no! no! no!! mork! wake up! you're just having a nightmare. oh, mind, it was a real nightmare. i mean, it was worse than that dream where i was trapped in the elevator with the three seminary students and the animal therapist who kept saying, "let the hamster have his space." mork, just relax. you're just having a bad dream. ink of something pleasant. go back to sleep. you want to be fresh for your test tomorrow. i'm not taking that test tomorrow! this dream was a sign. it was a warning from beyond, mind. i don't want to end up as a subject of some pop maudlin hit. ? we knew him well, but he's windshield dust now ? are you subtly trying to tell me you're not gonna take your driving test tomorrow?
would you say no to a lot more money? [excited scream] you just won a million dollars! no thanks. nice balloons, though! or no to more vacation days? janet, i'm giving you an extra week's vacation! oh, ah... nooo. what? no way. who says no to more? time warner cable's all about giving you more. annels and virtually unlimited movies and shows on demand, so you can binge all day. call now. and don't forget the free tv app. get ultra-fast internet with secure home wifi to connect all your devices. saving on mobile data fees, helps big time. switch to time warner cable. for $89.99 a month you'll get free hd channels, 100 meg internet and unlimited calling to half the world. we can call aunt rose as much as we want now. switching is easy.
why don't you just describe your dream to me and maybe i can help you analyze it, there's nothing to be worried about. well, all right. all right. i'll try. let me see now. just take a moment to get into this. [ humming "the twilight zone" theme song ] okay. i remember now, mind. there i was on this road, and it's very, very, very thick fog. i try to run, but i can't. i try to scream, but i can't!
what are you, a dream critic? come on, honey. and then... then it happened. i felt this icy-cold hand touch me here, and it sent a chill down my spine. i look back, and it was him! who? it was satan! [ gasps ] the devil. beelzebub! mork! to be him. how many men do you know that have little hooves? ugh. ugh! oh! and his eyes, mind. i remember his eyes. they were like a combination of ming the merciless and nancy reagan. and then, min, he looked at me, and a long, bony finger pointed and said, [ with deep voice ] "you're next." [ gasping, squealing ] [ normal voice ] and then the next thing i remember,
and there's no one driving. and the hearse is going down a long hill toward a tunnel and then careening -- going, "no! no!" and the next thing you know, i'm in a beauty parlor having electrolysis. [ screaming ] no! oh, min, min, min, min. oh, mork, calm down. i mean, i think that under the circumstances, what you're experiencing is perfectly normal. you mean everybody has dreams like that? well, no. well, yeah, sort of, but everybody is afraid of taking their driver's test. i know i sure was. i was so scared. but i took it, and i passed, and i was so excited. aw. i remember the day i passed my test, my dad gave me the car, and i went and picked up my girlfriends -- birchie and molette and suzie -- and we went to the record store and bought the new "herman's hermits" album.
and i had a root beer. no, molette had the root beer. i had the cherry coke. and we were trying to impress these guys. i was holding my cherry coke like this, and i poured it all down the front of me. we tried to get napkins from the guy, but he didn't have any. min, i'll make you a deal. i-i'll take my driving test if you don't finish that story. i can take a hint. okay, it's a deal. good night. mind? what? are you mad at me? tsk. oh... well, kind of, mork. i mean, you cut me off. you cut me off just like that time we went to the grocery store, and i was trying to make spaghetti. remember that? and we were buying all the -- no, no. i was making meatloaf. anyway, i was buying the tomato sauce and the onions and --
well, other people like my stories. i did it. i did it. did, did, did, did, did i did, did, did, did did, did, did, did! did, did, did, did, hey! i hate to rain on your parade, but that was just the eye test. oh. y-you mean there's more? never fear. tnt is here... ? guiding you from gear to gear ? yeah! how you doin', tnt? hey, crazy lady. brought you a wedding present. oh, you didn't have to do that -- try to buy that in a store.
have you met our son? uh, son -- sonny? his name's sonny. sonny. sorry to hear about you and cher. whoa! i'm hot today. so...you're tnt. take these. mmm. here we go bye-bye. [ imitates explosion ] oh, tnt, i'm so glad you're here. nothing stands between me and my personalized license plate. how do you like this? "r-r-r." get it? [ laughing ] ar ar ar ar. maybe "mork 12." boy, that'd be -- ha ha. [ gasps ] you're next. [ no audio ] [ squeaking ] mind, mind, it's him! who?
instructor: try to avoid those garbage bags. [ tires screeching ] bear to the right. [ screeching continues ] isn't that bad for the tires? o-only two of 'em. boy, that was great! did you do that on your driver's test, mommy? no. do try to avoid those parked cars. parked cars -- huh? there were no parked cars in my dream! shazba-a-a-a-at! aah! ha ha ha ha ha ha.
i'm getting out of here! stop! i'm too virile to die! please, lord, get me out of this, and i'll donate all my change to "parents without partners." another right turn, please. sadist. [ tires screeching ] watch out! get down! get funky! i'm satisfied with your work on the test course. i think it's time for the highway section of the test. mork: auntie em! auntie em! mindy! anybody!
[ high-pitched voice ] kiss me goodnight, eddie. listen, daddy, i was just thinking... maybe i could fix you a nice, big, hot cup of cocoa with a marshmallow in it and maybe a goldfish sandwich. mearth. i know. no mustard. isn't that sweet of him, mind? unlike you, who tried to send me to my doom! he's turning on us. mearth, sweetie, why don't you go up to your room so dad and i can have a talk? i think you should maybe rub him on the tummy like this. that's what i always do with teddy. only thing with teddy -- when i rub him and keep rubbing him, he never closes his eyes. oh, come on, mork, don't be so depressed. so, you'll take the test another time. yeah, well, if i don't take it again, mearth will think i'm a quitter. yeah, he might.
maybe. he'll lose all respect for me. possibly. i can live with that. mork, so, you failed your driving test. it's not the end of the world. oh, easy for you to say, mind. i mean, i've never failed before. now i'm an inferior superior being. even richard dawson wouldn't kiss me now. sit down. [ sighs ] look, mork... i might not have been able to help you learn how to drive, but there is one thing i do know about, and that's failure. see, there was this time -- mind, are you gonna tell that spelling-bee story again? well, i was. all right. the simple truth is, mork, i mean, everybody fails sometimes.
i-i mean, nobody's perfect. sometimes you succeed, and sometimes you don't. that's what makes you human. i'm not a human, mind. all right. all right, what i'm trying to say is just because you fail doesn't make you a failure. yeah, but it still hurts. i know it does, sweetheart. and the only way to prevent that hurt is to go back in there and try again. i know you can pass that test, so go in there and try it. you can do it. i know you can. yeah. yeah, i can. yeah, you know what? i think i can. no. i-i really can. yeah, i can. i'm gonna do it! i really am! but just in case, i'm gonna dress up as an old lady, so he'll give me a break. that's the mork i know! oh, mind, do me a favor. if we go someplace formal tonight,
the babysitter said 10:00, louise, but she's usually a little late, so why don't we make it 10:30? darrin: sam, where's my houndstooth sport coat? oh, yeah. sure. fine, i'll tell him. my houndstooth sport coat-- louise and i are going shopping this morning. fine. honey, where's my houndstooth -- larry's car broke down, so she's gonna drop him at the office and pick me up on the way back. sweetheart, i'm late for work, and i haven't got time to listen to an itinerary of where you and louise are going. now, have you seen my houndstooth sport coat? which one is that? the tweedy one... with black and orange checks? why don't you wear the brown one? it's much nicer. i want to wear the houndstooth, and i can't find it! now, have you seen it or not?! you're shouting. do you know where it is or not? um... i, uh... gave it away. you gave it away? darrin, stop saying "you gave it away"