tv North Carolina News at 600PM CBS November 23, 2016 6:00pm-6:30pm EST
and -- [ coughs ] [ stammering ] [ coughing ] pardonnez-moi. [ laughs ] well, aunt clara, i'll take care of that. oh. [ ding! ] oh. oh, thank you, dear. you're so talented. [ laughs ] sweetheart, guess who just dropped in. ? aunt clara. just in time for thanksgiving dinner. isn't that wonderful? i don't think he hears you. darrin, can you hear me? darrin: no! i told you so.
don't do that! don't you be rude to aunt clara. honey, it was just that i was looking forward to a peaceful dinner with just the three of us. it'll be a peaceful dinner with just the four of us. want to bet? no, but she's here now, and we'll just have to make the best of it. come on downstairs. [ ding! ]
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oh, no. no, thank you, dear. oh, uh, uh, tabitha, now, aunt clara will tell you all about, uh, the first thanksgiving. it was a blast. we ate for three days. you were there? why, yes, of course. the pilgrims... plymouth rock... miles standish...priscilla... john alden... boston blackie. oh, uh, no. no, that's not, uh, quite right. i think i'll go and check the turkey. i think i'll make another drink. uh, samantha?
i didn't stay to dinner? why, not at all. i mean, we want you to do what you want to do. well, i'd love to stay, but reminiscing about, uh, plymouth has made me homesick for the girls i knew that settled there. i'd, uh -- i'd like to visit them. we understand, aunt clara. i'll make a plane reservation for you. no, no, no. that won't be necessary. i-i know what you're thinking. but i'm perfectly capable of getting there on my own power. [ knock on door ] turkey poult down, send me back to plymouth town. are you sure you don't want to take the plane? no, thank you. how about a train? no, thank you. wings of falcon...
take us back to plymouth town. sam, where are we?! plymouth, of course. what? what are you doing here? aunt clara, we got caught in your jet stream. oh. oh, i'm so sorry. but don't you worry. now, i brought you here, and if you don't want to stay, i'll zap you home. no, thanks. you will not zap us home. we will zoom home the old-fashioned way -- by jet airliner. [ gasps ]
aunt clara, are you concentrating on getting us out of here? oh, yes, now, don't you worry. i'm getting closer. oh, good. double, double, toil and trouble -- aunt clara, this is no time for shakespeare. you're supposed to zap us back home. well, uh, "double, double, toil and trouble" seemed to fit the situation. oh, it fits. it just doesn't work. i don't like this dream. it's too much work. maybe it isn't a dream. but if it isn't a dream, what is it? [ laughter ] and then he sayeth to me, "that wast no lady, that wast my wife." [ laughter ] captain standish, i do believe i saw phineas laugh. the festivities doth raise my spirits. i'll not deny it.
aye, 'twas across the sea, at the burning of a witch. francis: we hanged all our witches. oh, 'twere merrier to burn them. you -- i mean, uh, thou findest pleasure at the burning of a witch? indeed. wouldst thou not? well, certainly not. some of my -- i mean, some of my closest -- that is, i findeth, uh, other sport more to my fanthy. uh, fancy. in a manner that rings strangely to the ear. aye, and his womenfolk are stranger. the whole world seems strange to thee, phineas. honey. honey, we have to get out of here. i don't like that anti-witch talk that nut phineas is spreading. it's dangerous for you. now, don't worry, sweetheart.
it's not a laundry bag. it's a pudding bag. and we have to dip it in some boiling water. oh, uh, we'd better get a fire started under that pot. i'll do it, honey. anything else you'd like me to do? witch! witch! there is a witch among us! there is witchcraft here! there is a witch among us. who, her?
i don't? well, i'm certainly trying. ye are accused of being a witch. 'tis a grave charge. what say ye to it? it's ridic-- uh, 'tis ridiculous. i art not now, nor hath i ever been a witch. admit to witchcraft, or it will go ill with you. you'll be burned for refusing to confess. and if i do confess? then you'll be burned for being a witch. i don't supposeth thine has heard of thy bill of rights? can ye not speak more plainly? what i meaneth to say ith -- i mean "is" -- hath i no rights at all?
speak for yourself, john. let us hear proper evidence before lighting any fires. aye, john, that will be done. tell us, phineas, why thou has made so grave a charge. i can explain -- i mean, uh, i canst explaineth, if thou will but remove me from these chains. do not free him. it is a witch's trickery. truly a witch, could mere iron contain his trickery? the good woman speaketh sensibly. i wouldst release him from his chains. oh. oh, poor, dear darrin. now, how can a young man like him get into such trouble as this? oh, i must help him.
yes, yes, i understand. i understand. and i really will concentrate. thank you. oh, it's nothing at all. didst thou light the fire as master phineas hath saideth? i hath lighted the fire, but not as he hath saideth. didst thou strike a spark to flint or make heat by rubbing wood against wood? nay, i did none of these. i used a match. a what? a match. 'tis a sliver of wood with chemicals on it. i have one here. [ crowd gasps ] there is naught to fear.
this object that the accused hath called, um... match. ...a match... may be a device of witchery. to test it, we must find out if any one of us can light it. 'twill not work. it has already been lighted. 'twill not light again. heth to explaineth about matcheth. silence. continue. he doth not like my idea, which leadeth me to believe it may be sound. only a witch can make a fire from a plain stick of wood. i wouldst defend the accused.
nd someone who's accused of being a witch. that makes me the logical choice, doesn't it? you may defend the accused. i thank thee. first -- but, uh, after phineas has presented all his evidence. [ clears throat ] the first time the accused witched me, i almost dropped a turkey. it didst not satisfy such as he. when i carved the fowl, he wrought his witchery again, causing me to cut my finger. and if that is not sufficient for ye, i wouldst report his conjuring this very morn. how did he greet me this morn? "good morrow"? "good day"? "greetings to thee"? no. no, none of these. this witch didst raise his hand thusly
how dost thou know that this be witchery? aye, i find the same question at my lips. if this be not witchery, what else couldst it be? 'twere not a greeting known to mortal man. hast thou not noticed a strangeness in his speech, captain? what be this strangeness of speech and manner? why doth he speak and act and look different than all of us? if it weren't for the witchery within the man? woman, hast thou anything to say in his defense? aye. first, i wouldst congratulate master phineas.
that all can follow. art thou clumsy? 'tis not thine own fault. cry "witch." art thou forgetful? blame not thyself. cry "witch." whatever thy failings, take not the fault upon thyself. 'tis more a comfort to place it on another. and how do we decide who is the witch? 'tis simple. again, master phineas hath shown us the way. doth someone speak differently from thee? a sign of witchery. doth he show different mannerisms? witchery, of course. and should we not find differences in speech and manner to support a charge of witchery, be of good cheer. there are other differences.
what of she whose name hath a different sound? if one examineth one's neighbors closely, he will find differences enough so that no one is safe from the charge of witchery. but is that what we seek in this new world? methinks not. the hope of this world lieth in our acceptance of all differences and a recognition of our common humanity. [ applause ] hear, hear, hear. [ murmuring ] but what of the witch's stick? no fine words canst prove that he who maketh fire with a stick of wood
the honor of such a test doth go to the man who hath brought the charges. to clearly prove that he, himself, is not a witch. are you afraid to strike the witch's stick? [ crowd murmuring ] [ tinkles ] since phineas hath made the witch's stick to light, he must confess himself a witch, else he must withdraw all the charges
[ stammering ] uh, samantha. samantha. oh, dear. oh, it just -- it just came back to me. yeah, it came back to me in a flash. oh, it wasn't a flash, really. it -- it -- it was a flame. a flame -- uh, the match. the match reminded me. [ stammering ] master phineas hath withdrawn his charge against the accused. wing of fire, eye of flame... we hold the accused innocent and free him of his bonds. to whence we came. [ crowd gasps ] [ sighs ] where's tabitha? oh, hi, sweetie. my goodness, you've had quite a day, haven't you? oh, i hope i didn't leave anything out of that incantation. like what? like darrin. darrin?! darrin?
mmm. darling, it's delicious. oh, are you sure it isn't overcooked? the truth is, you usually undercook turkey. uh, this is just the way i like it. you mean, you've hated all the other turkeys i've ever cooked for you? no, they were all delicious. this one, naturally, is super-delicious. oh, thank you, sweetheart. oh, well, it's better than those tough wild turkeys we had in plymouth. aunt clara, will you please pass the cranberry sauce and, uh, talk about something else?
now, christmas will be here soon. now, i have an idea, uh, where to spend it that would be very enjoyable and very educational for tabitha, too. now, look here. now, uh, how many children, uh, have the opportunity to meet, uh, santa claus? and after all, the, uh, north pole isn't so very far away. we could all go there the day before christmas. m
? boy, the way glenn miller played ? ? songs that made the hit parade ? ? guys like us, we had it made ? ? those were the days ? ? and you knew where you were then ? ? girls were girls and men were men ? ? mister, we could use a man ? ? like herbert hoover again ? ? didn't need no welfare state ? ? everybody pulled his weight ? ? gee, our old lasalle ran great ?