tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 17, 2014 11:40pm-12:43am EDT
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- ll cool j. from "fury," michael pena. "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from tinashe featuring schoolboy q. and now, live and in person, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i'm glad you made it. glad you're here safe and sound. you know, it wasn't easy, because the president was in town.
president obama's in los angeles tonight for a night of fund-raising and traffic jamming. traffic is so bad here to start with and when the president comes in, it just gets so much worse. it's terrible. here's the thing. president obama has no understanding of what it's like to even have a commute because he works from home. he has a home office. so, tonight the president was here in l.a. for a fund-raiser at gwyneth paltrow's house, a dinner that was as lucrative as it was macrobiotic. how great it would be if he blew the dinner party off to go to in-n-out instead? cost of tickets for this event ranged from $1,000 to $32,000. for $32,000, you can meet him. $32,000 to meet the president seems very high. especially considering the fact you can jump the fence at the white house and meet him for free. [ cheers and applause ] but i will say, traffic aside, it's kind of nice to see people in l.a. raising millions of
dollars for something that doesn't involve "transformers" for a change, right? right guillermo? >> right, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you. in north korea, kim jong-un has not been seen for a month. you know who he is. he runs north korea. and there are rumors now that his little sister is running the country. her name is kim yo-jong. [ laughter ] what does this family put on their christmas stockings? a lot of -- anyway. kim yo-jong is the sister. she's said to be in charge while her brother recoverers from various undisclosed ailments. now even north korea's had a female leader before us here in the united states. nobody seems to know what's wrong with kim jong-un. he suppozsedly has gout, diabetes and he's put on a lot of weight. thankfully his hair is still perfect, as you can see. [ laughter ] i really -- i have to say, i'm fascinated by what goes on, because -- and i wonder how they explain this to the people of
north korea. he's considered to be a divine being. many believe he is a god. and now god has the gout? [ laughter ] hey, guys, god has an ankle problem but god's sister is going to run things. maybe he's holed up somewhere playing the new nba 2k15. do any of you have this game? the guys who don't have jobs, right? [ laughter ] yeah? okay, yeah. [ applause ] this is a video game that came out on tuesday and one of the fun features of the game is, they let you scan your own head onto the body of a player. you really don't ever have to exercise again if you have this game. [ laughter ] watch yourself playing basketball, even though it's not you. unfortunately, this new feature is difficult to use. this is a reporter from polygon.com. he posted this video of him trying to scan his face. and, well, enjoy.
>> please completely fill the window with your face. the window will turn green when it's correct. in just a few seconds, your scan will begin and the screen will turn white to help -- we lost track of your head. completely fill the window with your face. the window will turn green when it's correct. in just a few seconds, your scan will automatically begin -- we momentarily lost track of your head. please completely fill the window with your face. the window will turn green when it's correct. in just a few seconds, your scan will begin and the screen -- we momentarily lost track of your head. completely fill the window with your face. >> jimmy: you know what? he's a very patient man. [ cheers and applause ] we get so much entertainment out of video games. it's about time they got some entertainment out of us. they are having trouble with how the face scans come out. people have been posting these crazy mutated versions of themselves online. i decided to try it for myself.
it was very complicated. it really was to set up. but this is me and i scanned my face in the box and then it builds your -- replica of your face. and that's me. you have to pick out the hair. pick out the hair and -- that was the closest i could get. and there you go. that is -- that is a fantasy basketball player, am i right, ladies? [ laughter ] this is what -- now, this is what we -- we scanned guillermo's face, also. okay? and, yeah, there, see, now that right there is guillermo. but then it turns into some kind of four-eyed, two-nosed, two-mouthed -- this is what guillermo looks like if you are doing peyote. there he is. it's you. [ cheers and applause ] so, then there are these scenarios that they enact and this is, i think, what you're
getting, like, something involving the orlando magic. >> where you headed? >> oh, locker room, shower up. >> good. i just hope none of that game you just showcased washes off. >> this stuff don't wash off. it's part of who i am. it's in my dna, yo. >> easy. your jersey ain't in the rafters yet. get out of here. we'll be in touch. >> looking forward to it. >> jimmy: it's about time there was an actual monster in the nba. [ laughter ] might as well be you. >> yeah, true. >> jimmy: my cousin micki is very pregnant. works here at the show. she's expected to give birth. her due date was yesterday. besides being my cousin, micki is one of the most well loved people here at the show. she's very sweet. she might be the nicest person in the world. and her mother is my aunt chippy, who is not the nicest person in the world. nor is she sweet. she is also sweet as, like, a shot glass full of gasoline.
aunt chippy is 145, has never seen a sonogram before, where they look inside the belly of the pregnant lady to see the baby. so my cousin sal and i set up a fake sonogram appointment with a fake sonogram technician at a real sonogram place. and micki invited her mom to come along to see the baby, you know? so, i had the guys in the graphics department here at the show come up with very creative video images of a very active fetus to put in the sonogram monitor because i wanted to give aunt chippy the most incredible sonogram that anyone has ever seen. >> are we rolling? >> good luck. >> good luck to you. >> see you on the other side. micki has arrived and she's coming in shortly.
send them in. >> send them in. okay, claudia, you can send them in. >> micki? hi. come right in. go ahead and take a seat right here. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. just going to be a few minutes. >> thank you so much. >> i saw that prince george -- those are the kind of outfits i'm going to get him. not with the names on it. >> you don't like their name on it? >> no, no, i don't like, daddy's pride and joy or something like that. >> jimmy: what about mommy's little pooper. >> what about mommy's little popper? >> are you going to baptize him in the dress? >> jimmy: we're not even sure about the whole baptism thing. >> we're not even sure about the whole baptism thing this time. >> are you kidding me? don't even say that to me. >> hi. >> hi, how are you?
>> hi. >> hi, chippy. very exciting. this is my first sonogram i'm going to see. never seen one before. we had our babies, like, blind. we didn't know what we were having. >> can you pull up your shirt, please? >> jimmy: ask aunt chippy, never seen one of these before? >> never seen one of these before? >> no. >> all right. you're going to love it. >> jimmy: okay, we're going to look at the bone structure first. >> we're going to look at the bone structure first. hear the heartbeat. >> i don't know what i'm looking at. >> jimmy: bone structure. the baby is encased carbonite right now. >> the baby is encased in carbon it right now. that's good. >> jimmy: the flux capacitor is a beating at a normal rate. >> and the flux capacitor is beating at a normal rate. okay. show a shot of the whole body if we can now.
>> oh. >> jimmy: say hello to grandma nippy. he can only hear you if you are very loud. >> he can only hear you if you are very loud. >> oh, i'm loud. i might scare him. >> jimmy: don't worry, he can't see you. >> don't worry, he can't see you. he's clapping. >> i think so. i can't believe he's clapping. >> glad you're here. >> he's got his finger up his nose. >> oh. picking his nose. >> that's a good sign. >> that is so cute.
>> boys tend to pick their nose. >> don't stick it in your mouth. >> jimmy: he's eating, so that's good. >> he's eating, so, that's good, right? >> that's not what we want him to eat. >> so cute. >> he is doing what i think he's doing? giving us the finger? >> no. those are reflexes. >> that would be really cute, though. >> that would be really cute, though. >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's shake him up a little bit here. >> are you kidding me? >> oh, my gosh. >> i can actually feel that.
>> oh, my gosh. did you feel that? >> oh, wait, i got to -- >> this is crazy. >> he's swimming. >> he's swimming. >> i didn't know they stood up. >> oh, my god. >> this is the best. >> wah! wah! >> i'm having twins. it happens once in awhile. they look familiar to me. >> wah! wah! >> you're having two grandsons. >> looks like jimmy. >> wah! wah!
>> jimmy: congratulations! >> we are so happy. >> i hate you guys. i hate you. >> don't hurt my babies. do not hurt my babies. >> wah! wah! >> jimmy: congratulations. >> wah! wah! >> jimmy: even the fetuses in our family are funny. sorry, aunt chippy. one more thing. it's thursday night. it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> well, getaway for a suspected flasher. police say the guy they were chasing tripped on his own [ bleep ]. >> i like long hair on a man,
so, i would [ bleep ] you right after you get that divorce. >> differences between a pat on the back and a [ bleep ] in the rear end is about six inches. >> if you lose, norman will [ bleep ] your face. >> we have much more to come from st. louis. >> 86 years old, but i'm still [ bleep ]. >> oh, your brother kept [ bleep ] me. >> well, your sister [ bleep ] like a lawnmower. >> you called him and say, hey, we will cut your [ bleep ] off. >> absolutely. >> i like to [ bleep ] from behind. >> that was my friend. our producer. >> what happened? >> wanted me to put my finger in his [ bleep ]. >> all right, bad call. >> are you here to catch them or [ bleep ] them? >> ah, no, no! please! >> jimmy: tonight on the show, we have music from tinashe featuring schoolboy q. michael pena is here. and we'll be right back with ll cool j.
have a cuervo. have an adventure. just don't have any regrets. cuervo. have a story. rdevry university's merit-based career catalyst scholarship can help you get started with up to $20,000 for qualified new students. apply now and start working toward your career, like devry grad, shelly joseph. as a student at devry, a business career was my goal. this was my career training ground... my professors, were also my coaches. their guidance helped me find career success... at microsoft. find your success with our career catalyst scholarship. classes start october 27. get started now. visit devry.edu
( siren wails ) ( pop music playing ) ♪ when you're ready ♪ ready, ready, ready ♪ come and get it ♪ get it, get it ♪ when you're ready, come and get it ♪ ♪ na na na na ♪ na na na na na na na ♪ ♪ when you're ready, come and get it ♪ ♪ na na na na... female announcer: it's a great big world and it can all be yours. here and only here. ♪ come and get it.
i'm just day-dreaming. about your dream trip to italy? yeah. with your sisters, to shop and see the sights. is it that obvious? you've been staring at that new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. yeah, it's the new frankenbucks. with 10 top prizes of $50,000. is that painting crooked, or is it just me? [announcer] want to see your dreams come to life? you could scratch your way to instant winning. the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life.
>> jimmy: hello there. tonight, you can see him in the new movie, "fury." michael pena is here. then, a talented young woman from right here in the city of angels. her debut album is called "aquarius." tinashe featuring schoolboy q from the at&t stage. and we have something from schoolboy q's mother later on in the show. schoolboy q's mom. that's right. next week on the program, our guests include shia labeouf, selena gomez, edward norton, adam carolla, michelle monaghan, cristela alonzo, chris o'dowd, and portia de rossi. and we'll have music from t.i., kasabian, you plus me and bob seger will be here, as well. that will be a lot of fun. our first guest tonight is a legendary, grammy award winning rapper turned actor, who had no choice but to change his name when he found out there was already an l cool j in the screen actors' guild. that's true.
you can see him fight crime monday nights on "ncis: los angeles." please say hello to ll cool j. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: look at you. i swear to god -- i really think you gain, like, 20 pounds of muscle every time i see you. >> feel good, man. got to keep it right. >> jimmy: where is this going to end? i mean, at what point do you go, i can't get any bigger, i now look like the incredible hulk. >> next week. >> jimmy: next week. >> yeah, next week. but for this week, it's on. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm glad you're here. i would have maybe assumed that you would have been invited to the big obama dinner. >> why? >> jimmy: because you supported president obama. >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: you wrote a letter to president obama, an open letter for him to read. >> yeah, yeah. i'm supportive. i want to see good things. >> jimmy: you wanted me to say because you're black.
that was what you were -- >> no, that's probably what most people watching were thinking. [ laughter ] he's black, he had to vote for him. how could he make a choice other than black? how could he? >> jimmy: would you pay $32,000 to have dinner with the president? >> if he does exactly what i tell him to. no -- i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you want him to do? >> i don't know. we got to figure that out. i don't want anybody to get mad at me. >> jimmy: that is a lot of money for dinner. >> it's a lot of money for dinner. but you know, people that are paying it can afford it. >> jimmy: you know you're not getting a good dinner. it's going to be something healthy at gwyneth paltrow's house. >> yep, well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're shooting the show right now. >> yes, i am shooting the show. >> jimmy: and you are recording an album, i'm told. >> yeah, a new record. "the g.o.a.t. 2." it's a lot of fun. >> jimmy: not about the farm animal. greatest of all time. >> yeah.
big up to muhammad ali, who is the greatest. i had to take that and -- i actually introduced that into the hip-hop world. that's why when up hear people talk about different, you know, rappers and they say g.o.a.t., that's something i did for my album in 2000. i'm making a sequel for that. it's about the culture. me getting back to my roots. i make these science project albums where i'm in a vacuum, doing my own thing and then i make culture albums where i think about the people and think about what i'm doing from an entertainment standpoint, not just artistic. and this album's real cultural, so, people can -- they can see the new video. >> jimmy: you have a video already? >> i have a video called "the hustler." that's doing really well. and i'm about to drop another video called "i'm nice," so, it's going well. >> jimmy: murda mook. fred the godson. that's a great name. >> you have to love it. >> jimmy: uncle murda.
is he related to fred the godson? >> well, you know. >> jimmy: is he related to murda mook? >> there's a strong possibility. you know the album's hot because it's not like a bunch of pop people that you heard of. you really need to check it out. it's hot. >> jimmy: these people -- >> it's what it is is, i wanted to really -- >> jimmy: these are murderers you've never heard of. >> lyrical murderers. be clear about that. i don't want bill o'reilly, murderers on the album. i don't need that in my life. they're not murderers, bill. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: to bill, they're murderers. >> no, they're -- never mind. you know -- like i said, you know, the album is just filled with, you know, really true hip hop, you know. >> jimmy: what does that mean exactly? >> it just means that we're not doing anything to try to go pop. we're not trying to see, you know, focus on how many radio spins we can get. we're not -- i'm not trying to, you know, come out with the new dance record, whatever dj is popular out there in the world.
i'm really making it for the people that love hip hop, period. you know what i'm saying? [ applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: all these white people clapping. >> they're supposed to clap. >> jimmy: the guy in the front. >> there you go. clap for that hip hop. [ applause ] >> jimmy: if a guy who packages metamucil for a living in phoenix, arizona, clapping for hip hop. >> that's right. >> jimmy: i want to take a break, but when i come back, i want to ask you about the time -- times have changed so much. >> have they? have they? >> jimmy: they really have. you don't think about it, but i think this is a great example. i want to talk about when you got arrested years back for simulating sex with a couch. yes? >> well -- i was -- >> jimmy: let's take a break and when we come back -- >> all right.
>> jimmy: ll cool j is going to have sex with all the furniture here. we'll be right back. ♪ what if he breaks his arm? or what if he wants a fish? or a dog? or an iguana? what if that iguana breaks his arm? what if he wants to study abroad? or if he needs braces? or she? what if they both need braces? what if there's more than one of them? what if there's six? what if we saved a little today, just in case we need a little more tomorrow? download cartwheel and save on what you want, like essentials. so you can save up for what's most essential to you.
♪ yeah, girl ♪ you know, i've been thinking about us ♪ ♪ and, uh, i just can't fight it anymore ♪ ♪ it's bundle time ♪ bundle ♪ mm, feel those savings, baby and that's how a home and auto bundle is made. better he learns it here than on the streets. the miracle of bundling -- now, that's progressive.
let's show 'em what a breakfast with whole grain fiber can do. one coffee with room, one large mocha latte, medium macchiato, a light hot chocolate hold the whip, two espressos. make one a double. she's full and focused. [ barista ] i have two cappuccinos, one coffee with room, one large mocha latte, a medium macchiato, a light hot chocolate hold the whip, and two espressos -- one with a double shot. heh, heh. that's not the coffee talkin'. [ female announcer ] start your day with kellogg's frosted mini wheats cereal. with whole wheat goodness on one side and a hint of sweetness on the other, it's a delicious way to get the nutrition you want.
♪ >> jimmy: we're back with ll cool j. his show is "ncis: los angeles," it airs monday nights on cbs. things are going very well. your sixth season now. >> yes, our sixth season. monday nights, 10:00, cbs. >> jimmy: did you think you'd ever be playing a member of law enforcement back in the days -- >> back when i was running from the police? >> jimmy: yeah. tell that story. >> the story -- well, what happened was, i was in georgia, i forgot which part of georgia it was, i honestly did. i tried to block it out of my mind. i basically got arrested for humping a couch. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was singing one of my
songs, "i need love" and i was -- >> jimmy: i love that song. >> i was on the couch and i actually wasn't simulating sex with the couch. i was simulating making love to a girl on the couch and there was no girl on the couch. and they just felt like, you know, they didn't need a black man humping a couch in georgia. it just wasn't necessary. something about it just doesn't feel right to them, i guess. >> jimmy: was it a white couch? >> ah, yeah, yeah. that's -- it was white with yellow pillows. you know i'm in trouble. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter ] were you shocked when they actually arrested you -- >> i wasn't shocked. they told me before, listen, we know about the show. heard it, proud of you, go out there, you hump the couch, we're going to have to take you in. >> jimmy: and you said, this is my art, i'm humping that couch! >> i got caught up in the frenzy and just went at that couch, like -- i had a ball. i had a ball. >> jimmy: did they wait until you came offstage until the show was over?
>> chomping at the bit. like they just took a swig of evian, just waiting. >> jimmy: how is that possible you'd be arrested for that? you had all your clothes on. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's crazy. >> you know. >> jimmy: miley cyrus now would probably get the death penalty in that town. for what goes on. >> or a key to the city. you know what i'm saying. >> jimmy: they actually take -- >> this is ll cool j humping the couch. not miley. if i did "wrecking ball" right now, do you think that would be played on tv all day? ll, man, a new song. let's wait for miley's version. >> jimmy: did you actually go to jail? >> yeah, they took me in and i sat there for a minute. he was like, i told you. you thought i was kidding. >> jimmy: wow. >> and i got bailed out and it just kind of eased on out of there. >> jimmy: is that still on your record or did that -- >> no, i hope it got expunged. i haven't had any problem getting in the u.k. recently,
so -- it seems to be okay. >> jimmy: you have to explain to customs. >> you're a freak, we get it. >> jimmy: i had relations -- >> i might just start sweating when i drive by a furniture store. yeah, no, it's not like that. it's not like that. >> jimmy: wow. that is -- >> not like that. it was crazy. i mean, you know, it happens. >> jimmy: things have changed. they really have. >> things have changed on certain levels. i think that, you know, the country has gotten better in a lot of ways. people don't want to acknowledge that, because so many little incidents happen that kind of set us back emotionally in terms of our relationships with each other but i think ultimately, you know, it's just about, you know, trying to see that silver lining. i must say, honestly, that i think that every life is valuable and i don't think that young black men should be getting shot for no reason, you know, but -- [ applause ] but at the same time, you know, i do think things have gotten a lot better. i mean, there was a time when we couldn't even eat in the same restaurant, you know? so, things have gotten better. >> jimmy: right, yeah.
>> they need to get even better. going from, you know, an f to a d and now trying to get to a b. >> jimmy: even in entertainment. elvis was criticized and -- >> he couldn't -- yeah, he was, you know. he was humping couches. but he was on tv. they just showed him from the waist up. they took me to jail. >> jimmy: the problem that goes right there, they originate right there. >> look, at the end of the day. i think we have a great country. and, you know -- >> jimmy: thank you. [ applause ] >> and we may have, you know, some misunderstandings and some things that happen but at the end of the day, we have a great country and you find that out when things like 9/11 happen. you find out how galvanized we can be and how together we can actually stick when our backs are against the wall. but you know, we have some misunderstandings like any family. all families have disagreements. >> jimmy: we've come a long way. >> everybody has a crazy uncle drunk at the barbecue. >> jimmy: i don't know how we went from you humping a couch to 9/11, but it was quite a ride.
the lightest or nothing. the smartest or nothing. the quietest or nothing. the sleekest... ...sexiest, ...baddest, ...safest, ...tightest, ...quickest, ...harshest... ...or nothing. at mercedes-benz, we do things one way or we don't do them at all. introducing the all-new c-class. the best or nothing. tigers, both of you. tigers? don't be modest. i see how you've been investing. setting long term goals. diversifying. dip! you got our attention. we did? of course. you're type e* well, i have been researching retirement strategies. well that's what type e*s do. welcome home. taking control of your retirement? e*trade gives you the tools and resources to get it right.
are you type e*? i knew my life as i knew itr, would never be the same. everything stopped. and i just said, "i'm going to beat this." and that's when i found living beyond breast cancer. purchase a specially marked bottle of pink lemonade 5-hour energy and a portion of the proceeds will help survivors like me with a much needed community of support. living beyond breast cancer is a lifeline for so many people. i just love being able to say that i am living beyond breast cancer. inwhen does the mercy rule.. come into effect? new fusion proglide rebuilt with flexball technology. makes maximum contact, and gets virtually every hair. gillette. what's better than clicking into a fresh new blade? never running out of them again. get gillette's best blades delivered to your door for about a dollar a week at gillette.com/subscribe.
[ female announcer ] neutrogena® makeup remover. we all got together and we are having a great time. kend. can your makeup remover do that? there is everything to do. you've got restaurants. you've got shopping, oh my gosh fabulous shopping. bars too, although i'm married and i don't know if my husband wants me in any bars. i don't think it is just for girls weekend. i think it's great for couples. it's great for families. i was also was talking to my girlfriends saying i would like to bring my husband back.
it's a great weekend. ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. michael pena and music from tinashe is on the way. tinashe will be joined by schoolboy q, who, if you are unfamiliar with his work, is a rapper. maybe you know his song "druggies with hoes again?" no? many of schoolboy q's songs contain explicit lyrics. and from time to time, we ask the mother of a famous rapper to read some of those lyrics aloud. tonight, we asked schoolboy q's mom to be a part of this and she was very kind enough to say yes. ♪ >> i'm schoolboy q's mom, and this is from "collard greens." [ bleep ] famous, straight from the bottom. broke [ bleep ] hate it. still never robbed them.
guns in the basement, out they have a problem. be me fragrance, we love marijuana. function on fire, burn the roof off this [ bleep ]. psych ward is balling, crazed like no other. we steady blowing, pass to my momma. i would never smoke weed with that boy. that's my baby. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, momma q. we'll be right back with michael pena. ♪ take a deeeeep breath in. . . and . . . exhale. . . aflac! and a gentle wavelike motion... ahhh- ahhhhhh. liberate your spine... ahhh-ahhhhhh......aflac! and reach, toes blossoming... not that great at yoga. yeah, but when i slipped a disk he paid my claim in just four days. ahh!
four days? yep. see why speed matters at aflac.com. [sfx] duck snoring that there's the guy who gets his salsa from new york city. new york city?! [ male announcer ] only pace has that big, bold kick. anything else just ain't right. pace. grab the southwest by the bottle. every time you take advil liqui gels anything else just ain't right. you're taking the pain reliever that works faster on tough pain
than extra strength tylenol. and not only faster. stronger too. relief doesn't get any better than this. advil introducing the best trade in value guaranteed.e. trade in your old iphone at t-mobile and get up to $350. it's the best trade in value guaranteed. get the best iphone ever today at your local t-mobile store. wto dirty their hands withtrue sendeavour, not speculation. comradeship, essential. courageous men and women to uphold over 160 years of tradition. to celebrate the most awarded blended scotch in history.
this is true scotch. join us. alriwe need to do somethinguble widifferent. ranch. callahan's? ehh, i mean get away, like, away away. road trip? double wings, extra ranch. feels good to mix it up. the all-new, fuel-efficient volkswagen golf tdi clean diesel. up to 594 miles of adventure in every tank. fyour everyday dishes will only go so far. literally. you had to go deep into the cupboard. embarrassingly deep. can this mismatched mess be conquered... by a little bit of dish liquid? it can if it's dawn ultra. it's more concentrated... ...just one bottle has the grease cleaning power
(man) that's why we got a subaru. or was it that tree? (man) introducing the all-new subaru outback. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. ♪ >> jimmy: still to come, music from tinashe and schoolboy q. our next guest is one of those actors who makes any movie or tv show better. he's like grated parmesan cheese. you know him from "american hustle", "crash", "eastbound & down", and "million dollar baby." his new movie is the world war ii epic "fury." it opens october 17th. please say hello to michael pena. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> yeah! ow! >> jimmy: by the way, the movie is fantastic. i enjoyed it. you play a tank driver. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and a drunk driver, also. >> a drunk tank driver. i don't know if you are supposed to do it. but for this role, i did a little bit of drinking on set. >> jimmy: is that a rule, an acting thing? if you are acting drunk -- >> i guess. but i snuck in a little jack daniel's or whatever, because there's -- actors, you know, they try to play drunk but real people try to play like they're sober. >> jimmy: that's true. >> you know what i mean? so, you're like, are you drunk? no? ah -- did you do it? >> jimmy: that was the trick. whatever you did, it worked out very well. >> i was a convincing drunk? >> jimmy: you were. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: your co-star, jon bernthal was here last night and he said the director of the film had you guys fistfight every day.
>> what a liar. >> jimmy: is that not true? >> no, we drank tea. and had biscuits -- no, we did have the fight. >> jimmy: i -- how does that make any sense at all? >> it brings out the animal in you, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: wow. >> this is a weird thing, but it always happens when you're sparring somebody, we did it for "end of watch," too. in the beginning, you're like, keep it cool. as soon as they hit you, you're like, i swear to god. so, wait a minute. he does this in all his -- >> yeah, lips start doing that. >> jimmy: he does this in all his movies? >> christian bale had to do that. >> jimmy: who did you fight on the set? >> well, not on set. we did it for a month before. >> jimmy: no head gear? >> no, no head gear. and jon bernthal punched me in the face. >> jimmy: did you fight brad pitt? >> we were -- no. >> jimmy: you did not? >> you're not going to fight that guy. >> jimmy: did you fight shia labeouf?
>> i did. >> jimmy: why not brad pitt? >> who wants to fight brad pitt? can i just shake your hand, dude? >> jimmy: you fought shia labeouf? >> yeah. there was no face shots after awhile. i'm lying. a week before filming, the director, who is, you know, the most mexican white person i've ever met in my life, he's like, come on, dude, let's go dude. i'm laying into him, and he literally punched me in the face. everybody punched me in the face. now that i think of it. >> jimmy: that's not a good work environment when everyone is punching you in the face. >> now that i think about it, yeah. >> jimmy: the last time you were here, you talked about your brother, who -- >> that's right. >> jimmy: i'll give a quick summary of the story, but your brother saw nicolas cage in a bar and there were girls around nick and he decided he wanted to
hang out with them. he called you, said, give me nick's phone number so i can call him and be a part of his world. you declined to give him that telephone number. >> i don't even have his assistant's number. >> jimmy: how is he doing? >> he's doing good. he's got four kids now. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> working on 15 more. very mexican trait, by the way. i have to admit. >> jimmy: how old are his children? >> i don't even know anymore. >> jimmy: you don't? hard to keep track? >> it is hard. >> jimmy: he just had another one? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, all right. what did he have? >> a daughter. >> jimmy: a daughter? >> interesting name. >> jimmy: an interesting name? what is the daughter's name? >> angelina jolie pena. i wish i was lying. i swear. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, this is not a joke. the child's name is angelina jolie. >> pena. >> jimmy: pena. [ cheers and applause ]
>> needless to say, i didn't tell brad pitt that. my niece is named angelina jolie pena -- what? i was like, dude. why would you name her that? like, most people, like, okay, maybe angelina, but that's like me naming my kid chuck norris pena. why the last name? why the last name? >> jimmy: and? >> i love her, mike. i'm a real fan, mike. i love her so much, mike. i'm like, what do you love about her? he's like, everything, mike. everything. she makes me smile. >> jimmy: this is a weird -- >> i thought he was lying. and then he's like. >> jimmy: as uncle, you have to step in in a situation like that. dax shepard was here the other night and he is writing and directing, costarring with you in "c.h.i.p.s.," the movie.
which, i can't wait to see. >> i -- i would play the mexican guy. >> jimmy: you would play the mexican guy? now, i had suggested that dax consider guillermo for that role, but apparently you got it locked down already, i guess, huh? >> good luck, dude. good luck, man. >> jimmy: i didn't want to start anything. >> i'm going to text dax. i really like this part, dude. give me the part. >> jimmy: that sounds like a fun thing to do. >> yeah, i got to learn how to ride motorcycles. >> jimmy: you played a police officer in the movie with jake gyllenhaal. >> yeah. but this is going to be more like "lethal weapon," i think. >> jimmy: i see, in that there's comedy element to it? >> well, there was in "end of watch," but i guess i don't know what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: are you pretending not to be drunk right now? >> yeah, i'm like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, the important thing is that we learn -- [ applause ] that your brother named a child after his favorite actress.
apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, this is her new cd, it's called "aquarius." here with the song "2 on" with some help from schoolboy q, tinashe. ♪ >> jimmy kimmel! i need everybody to put their twos up real high! ♪ ♪ give me all that you got now make you want me cause i'm hot now ♪ ♪ i'm gone so faded, i'm on one bang bang pop off like a long
gun ♪ ♪ if you lame you ain't making no noise get faded turn up with the big boys ♪ ♪ live fast die young that's my choice get money get money ♪ ♪ we can mob all in the whip make the money make the money make a grip ♪ ♪ i love to get on i love to get two on ♪ ♪ when the drink be too strong when the drink be way too strong ♪ ♪ get faded turn up pour it on up 'till i can't even think no more ♪ ♪ get ratchet go dumb then go more dumb ♪ ♪ then we can keep it up let's roll ♪ ♪ i love to get two on let let let's roll i love to get two on i love to let let's roll ♪ ♪ i love to get two on let let let's roll i love to get two on i love to let let's roll ♪
♪ yeah we can get active and all my girls are attractive ♪ ♪ we go you know who we are now get high all up in my car now ♪ ♪ if you lame you ain't making no noise get faded turn up with the big boys ♪ ♪ live fast die young that's my choice get money get money like an invoice ♪ ♪ we can mob all in the whip make the money make the money make a grip ♪ ♪ man i love to get on i love to get two on ♪ ♪ when the drink be too strong when the drink be way too strong ♪ ♪ get faded turn up pour it on up 'till i can't even think no more ♪ ♪ get ratchet go dumb then go more dumb ♪ ♪ then we can keep it up let's roll ♪
♪ i love to get two on let let let's roll i love to get two on i love to let let's roll ♪ ♪ pull your panties down from under you beat that thang up make ya wanna holla q ♪ ♪ drunker than a uh high on that mary jane ♪ ♪ lights camera action ♪ i ain't doing nothing til the cash in money money money uh fashion ♪ ♪ draped up and dripped out keep the trees passin girl toot that thang up pump me pump rapping ♪ ♪ days of our lives so clap clap the cake spreading your thighs i'll pump pump your brakes hey ♪ ♪ just give me the drink and we can pour it yeah just give me the drink and we can pour it yeah ♪ ♪ and my enemies they see me living now and if you roll with me then you'll be winning now ♪ ♪ man i love to get on i love to
get two on ♪ ♪ when the drink be too strong when the drink be way too strong ♪ ♪ get faded turn up pour it on up 'till i can't even think no more ♪ ♪ get ratchet go dumb then go more dumb ♪ ♪ then we can keep it up let's roll ♪ ♪ ♪ "jimmy kimmel live," i'm tinashe. and this is "pretend." ♪ can we pretend ♪ everything is like yesterday ♪ what if i want you to be touching me ♪
♪ ain't nobody perfect ♪ i want to pretend ♪ let's pretend that we about to break up ♪ ♪ i like the feeling when we make up ♪ ♪ we never count points when we court side ♪ ♪ let's pretend i ain't your friend so we can get it on again ♪ ♪ let's pretend we never met a good excuse to play forget ♪ ♪ let's pretend you never lied so i can give it up all night ♪ ♪ swallow my pride and learn to forgive when i'm looking for love i pretend it's ♪ ♪ you a love that never ends i pretend it's you that i'm in love with ♪ ♪ can we pretend
this is "nightline." tonight, dexter murder? his wife, shot dead in their hope after watching that bloody tv show. he says he didn't do it. but who did? was it a crime inspired by pop culture's most famous serial killer? plus, the cast of "birdman" couldn't be more jape-packed with stars. tonight, they sit down together exclusively for us to talk super hero competition. and which one almost