Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 11, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

11:35 pm
congratulations tulane university for being named number one party school in the usa. and to the parents of tulane students for wasting $280,958. >> from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kate beckinsale, co-founder of reddit, alexis ohanian, and music from justin moore. and now, once and for all, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. welcome.
11:36 pm
oh, welcome, one and all. welcome to los angeles, home of the 2028 summer olympic games. [ cheers ] yes. we have the olympics in 2028. only 11 more years, and then volleyball. i feel like between climate change and kim jong-un it's optimistic to think we'll still have a los angeles in 2028. but if we do, game's on. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i don't know if you saw this, but the slogan for the olympics, they already have a slogan. it's follow the sun, which is great advice if you want people walking directly into the ocean. but i'm excited about the -- a lot of people are complaining. i'm excited about the olympics being here, but i hope they really go for it. i'm going to start a movement to try to let them let snoop dogg light the torch with a big right, white and blue blunt.
11:37 pm
have an l.a. olympics. this is both alarming and amusing. more amusing than alarming, but the white house has a little scandal on their hands. i know, it surprised me, too. [ laughter ] but there's an anonymous man in the uk who tweets under the name signon reborn. so the guy decided to e-mail high profile members of the trump administration. first he e-mailed homeland security adviser tom bossert pretending to be jared kushner. tom, we're arranging a bit of a soiree toward the end of august. it would be great if you can make it. i promise food of at least comparable quality to that which we ate in iraq and signed it jared. and the guy, who again is a homeland security adviser, wrote back to him, thanks, jared, with a promise like i can't refuse. also if you ever need it, my personal e-mail is -- then he gives out his personal e-mail, which is blurred, but i assume he's changed it by now. look at the heading on this e-mail.
11:38 pm
suspected spam in all caps. the guy successfully pranked anthony scaramucci and pretended to be reince priebus and got in a heated back and forth. he tried to prank eric trump. but eric didn't bite. i applaud the guy for doing this. next time, go farther. for instance, when you pose as jared kushner and write to homeland security adviser. don't just invite him to a party, invite him to a surprise costume party in the oval office at the end of the day. put something fun on and get down here right away. i promise. i like this idea, though. they call it spearphishing with a p-h. guillermo, did you get any unusual e-mails today? >> guillermo: no, jimmy. >> jimmy: nothing out of the ordinary? >> guillermo: oh, yeah, only one.
11:39 pm
>> jimmy: there was one? we made some fake e-mail accounts using names of people who work here today and sent them to guillermo. not one, four by the way. [ laughter ] four. so this one we sent from our special projects producer jay. hey, g, we're finalizing all the hotel rooms for our upcoming trip and i was wondering if you wanted a presidential suite that includes a butler. it will cost the show an extra $500 a day. do you think that's something you need? do you remember getting that? >> guillermo: yeah. all right. why are they so nice? >> jimmy: guillermo responded seven minutes later, yes, please. god bless you. thank you so much. i want to bring the family. [ cheers ] and then you know what he wrote back, do you remember? he wrote back, no problem. also, what brand of tequila do you like in the room? and guillermo said, whatever you want, my friend. with a question mark.
11:40 pm
why the question mark after friend? is it true you went to jay's office and hugged him after you got this? >> guillermo: yeah. why is he so nice? >> jimmy: and he had no idea why he was being hugged. he said welcome back. >> jimmy: then we sent another e-mail from one of our producers. hi, hope you had a nice hiatus. hate to have to mention this, but i think it would be nice if you hired a food truck of some sort for the staff to show your appreciation. everyone loves you but a lot of staffers don't feel you love them back and guillermo wrote back. good idea. can i talk to you tomorrow about this? >> guillermo: actually, i went to his office. he told me, come back tomorrow. i'm busy. >> jimmy: now that you know it's
11:41 pm
a joke, are you still going to do the food truck? >> guillermo: yeah, sure. >> jimmy: you will? [ applause ] what day are you going to do it on? what day will it be? >> guillermo: next week. >> jimmy: what day next week? this will never happen. i'm telling you right now. never. >> guillermo: it will happen. >> jimmy: it will. >> guillermo: i promise. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you ignored one of them. but this is from our executive producer jill. i hope you had a lovely hiatus. i saw a friend over the break who works with an energy drink company. they're interested in hiring you as their spokesperson. i know we don't usually allow this. between you and me the drink is pretty gross and unhealthy, but i think it pays well. is this something i could tell you you may be interested in. you should know in advance it is disgusting. xoxo, jill. and five minutes later guillermo writes, yes, i am in. thank you very much. we can talk later on. [ applause ] you are officially qualified to work in the white house now.
11:42 pm
>> guillermo: thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: they might need you. things the aren't going great for team trump right now. the president's approval rating is so low his cheerleading team at fox and friends are desperate to find people who are enthusiastic about his administration. yesterday they had an interview with a 12-year-old girl who her qualification was she likes donald trump. watch this and pay special attention to her father silently mouthing along with everything he programmed her to say. >> what is it about donald trump that you like so much? >> he's doing an amazing job as president. he is even trying to repeal obamacare right now. he's doing the best job as a president he could ever do. he has done more good in the past six months than obama has in the past eight years. >> you were such a hit at cpac, then your candidate won. you went to school and what happened? >> i asked them, who is our president? who is our president? and they said trump.
11:43 pm
who is our president? >> jimmy: i think we just found trump's new communications director. [ applause ] today tmz caught up with the old communications director, the mooch himself, who was on his way out of the trump hotel, of all places, in washington, d.c. >> what's your best advice for the next communications director coming in? >> it's not appropriate for me to comment right now, but i appreciate you being here because i know you have a job to do. >> what are you going to do next, man? you have a lot of money on the line, you have a big business, you have family. >> i'm working on being the best person i can be, and i want chief of staff kelly to have an unbelievable opportunity inside the white house. >> did you have a chance to say good-bye to the president before you left? let me ask you this. >> i appreciate you -- >> before you go, entertainment people were talking about
11:44 pm
"dancing with the stars" you and spicer and others, is that something you would consider? >> i don't know how to dance. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know. well, you know what? that didn't stop mr. t. you don't need to know how to dance to be on "dancing with the." how funny would it be if he did "dancing with the stars" and again got eliminated after a week? [ applause ] it's almost too much. meanwhile, there's a lot of conspiracy theories floating around the internet, but this one is serious. a number of eagle-eye twitter users noticed something about the outback steakhouse that has people absolutely bloomin' in their onions. >> a new internet theory suggests that outback steakhouse is running a satanic cult. it happened when one twitter user noticed that many steakhouses appeared to dot
11:45 pm
america's cities in the pattern of a five-pointed star associated with satanism. in cincinnati, north carolina and virginia shared similar tweets. >> jimmy: outback actually felt compelled to deny they're running a satanic cult. which, of course, they deny it. that's exactly what satan would do. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ cheers ] as you may know, from time to time my cousin sal takes a hidden camera and some liberties to a house to mess with unsuspecting delivery people. they come to his house and they end up doing his. this time the victim was a moving company. a brand-new cousin sal home delivery. ♪ [ doorbell rings ] >> what's happening, man? come on in. >> how are you doing? all right. >> let me take a look at you. strong looking guy, right? perfect. >> i work out. >> do you? >> yeah. >> nice, nice. what do you lift? >> i lift 80 and 80.
11:46 pm
>> so that's about 200 with the bar, yeah, okay. basically i need you to spot me here. i actually haven't lifted in years. i can do it all myself. don't get me wrong, you know. >> yeah, but -- >> might get the tan, the weights. should i enter the bronze age first or the iron age? >> diamond. >> i'm with you, buddy. >> that's from not working out. right? sit down here. here's what we're going to do. i don't need you to help me with the weights. i just need words of encouragement from you. so i'm going to sit here, i'm going to lift this. i'm going to try to get 15. that's a lot of reps, but considering i haven't lifted weights since high school. but here we go. i just need your encouragement, you know? >> okay. >> like you can do it. you're the man. all that stuff. >> you're the man. >> pump me up. pump me up. [ laughter ] let's hear it.
11:47 pm
>> you can do it. >> keep going louder. >> go out, go ahead. >> like you really mean it. >> like you're the man. >> who is the man? >> you're the man. >> i am the man? >> yeah. you can do it. >> who is the man? who is the man? >> you're the man. [ laughter ] >> who is the man? >> you're the man. >> can i do it, can i do it? >> yes, you can do it. >> why can i do it? >> because you're the man. >> yes, that's right. here we go. ready? i'm the man. i'm the man. >> you're the man. >> here we go. here goes the man. >> you're the man. >> i'm the man! >> you are the man. >> tell me i'm the man. >> you are the man. you are. go. do it. you can do it.
11:48 pm
one more. >> tell me i'm the man. >> you are the man. [ laughter ] >> you got me. >> i'm the man. thank you, man. tell jimmy kimmel who is man is. >> you're the man. >> jimmy: thanks. music from justin moore, the co-founder of reddit, alexis ohanian is here. and we'll be right back with kate beckinsale. [ cheers and applause ] with at&t you can get your entertainment right here. right now, when you get the incredible iphone 7 from at&t you can get unlimited data and live tv. the channels you love. your favorite shows and movies. making your iphone into more of a...
11:49 pm
oh my tv is ringing. hey...i'm in the middle of a...a second iphone from at&t? okay! right now when you buy a new iphone 7 from at&t you'll get a second iphone 7 on us. and power both with unlimited data and live tv. schick hydro ® vs a lube strip. with seven hydrating gel pools... that give you 40% less friction... it's designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. schick hydro ® free your skin. ® take 25% off nike l's get the gear. win the school year. right now get 25% off select nike shoes, apparel and accessories for the whole family and, everyone gets kohl's cash! earn it on everything! spend it on anything! game on kohl's.
11:50 pm
♪...nausea, heartburn,♪ indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!♪ ♪nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!♪ here's pepto bismol! ah. ♪nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!♪ the lincoln summer invitation is on. it's time for a getaway. now get our best offers of the season. on the agile mkc. on the versatile midsize lincoln mkx. or go where summer takes you in the exhilarating mkz.
11:51 pm
the lincoln summer invitation sales event. ask about complimentary pick up & delivery servicing. right now get zero percent apr plus 1,000 dollars summer savings on the lincoln mkx, mkc and mkz ♪ [brother] any last words? [boy] karma! [vo] progress is seizing the moment. your summer moment awaits you,
11:52 pm
now that the summer of audi sales event is here. ♪ [vo] your summer moment awaits you now that the summer of audi sales event is here. audi will cover your first month's lease payment on select models during the summer of audi sales event.
11:53 pm
>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. tonight the co-founder of reddit, alexis ohanian is here. i'm going to ask him anything. then this is his album called "kinda don't care." justin moore from the mercedes-benz stage. funny thing happened with justin. it does look like he kind of doesn't care, doesn't it? last year, we wrote a song about a guy who got one of his how do you say testicles caught in an ikea shower stool. it was based on a true story from the news. justin moore recorded the song about it. and last month it got nominated for an emmy. the song is called "the ballad of claus jorstad," aka "devil stool." ♪ claus said to himself ♪ so mad he could spit ♪ i'm in a different kind of ikea ball pit ♪ the stool's name should have clued me in ♪ ♪ testicle pinching grabbing
11:54 pm
♪ who worked at ikea ♪ come up with such a cruel cruel idea ♪ ♪ you have to be a sadistic soul to make a stool with a nut-sized hole ♪ >> jimmy: i don't know how that doesn't win an emmy. it should probably win a grammy, too. justin will be with us later on in the show. our first guest tonight is a superb actress and one of england's most popular kates. and that's saying a lot. her new movie "the only living boy in new york" opens in theaters august 11th. please say hello to kate beckinsale. [ cheers and applause ] you look fantastic. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: what a great dress. i have to say, i appreciate it when people really dress -- is this you dressing up? >> this is it. this is as far as it goes. >> jimmy: this is a great dress if you're eating and you don't want to get food.
11:55 pm
>> it's sort of a flap. i was excited about your testicle story. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> my friend's husband's dad is a judge in england and he had to make a law about whether or not it was legal to nail your own testicles to a picnic table. it was a long debate. turns out it is illegal. >> jimmy: it is illegal? >> yes, because of inconvenience to other people unnailing you. >> jimmy: also you're vandalizing the table by the way, if you're putting a nail through it. that's good to know in case i travel. >> you could probably do it here. just don't do it in london. >> jimmy: i think you could do it here. you could do it in the south. you could do it in florida. >> i think somebody's done it there. >> jimmy: in florida there's no picnics had without nailing one of your testicles to a table. that's a true story? >> yes, absolutely. >> jimmy: i don't know if you're telling the truth or not. this guy is wearing one of these white wigs when he made that ruling? >> yes, he had to think about it for a long time.
11:56 pm
such a hassle, have to call emergency services and take the nail out of the picnic table and whatever happened to the testicles, that's its own problem. >> jimmy: how is your summer going? everything good? >> it's good. my daughter's about to go to college. >> jimmy: that's a big deal. >> yeah, i'm getting ready to become a drug addict. i don't know what to do with the next part of my life. anyway, you know how they have crushes on like justin bieber and things like that? >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> she's got one on you. >> jimmy: your daughter has -- how old is your daughter? [ cheers ] >> obviously, a little bit of a tricky situation because my daughter's dad is dating jimmy's ex-girlfriend. >> jimmy: that is true. >> twisted. a horrible human centipedy vibe. but anyway -- >> jimmy: wow. >> you should be pleased. >> jimmy: i am pleased. >> she's out of your league, i just want you to know that.
11:57 pm
>> jimmy: even when i was a kid, even when i was in like high school and college, no one in high school or college had a crush on me. so this is very, very big. >> it's a big night for you. and she's here. >> jimmy: oh, she is? oh, good. >> don't embarrass her. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? i'm sorry. i had nothing to do with this. this is all her -- this is your mother. let's not ruin the crush thing. i want to keep that going, okay? thank you very much. i appreciate that. i'm flattered. [ applause ] we're both embarrassed. when you were your daughter's age, did you have a crush on a middle-aged out of shape hairy talk show host? [ laughter ] >> i do think it's a phase, the not conventionally attractive man phase. not that you're -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sadly, i do know what you mean. conventionally is a word that doesn't even need to be in the
11:58 pm
sentence. it could just be the not attractive man phase. >> no, no. i had this -- i really didn't have a type. so i veered from into boris becker and then to the men who had no teeth. >> jimmy: adam ant to boris becker. the tennis player. >> no one thought he was attractive except me. you had a.a., then b.b. and what was the name of the singer from the pogues' name? >> i met boris becker. >> jimmy: what did he say? >> it had passed, for me. >> jimmy: for you, yes. >> at the time, i don't know how old i was. i was young. i was still at that magical thinking phase where i thought i could control things with my mind. i felt that i helped him win
11:59 pm
wimbledon just by squeezing my uterus. i could feel my fallopian tubes going into a ball. he kept getting a shot and i thought it was me. >> jimmy: it may have been. he may have sensed that support. but i think a lot of people have that when they watch sports. like when i was a kid and watch a baseball game, i'd sit in a certain position and if my team was winning -- >> you would nail your testicles to a picnic table. >> jimmy: that's something else. i'm thrown for a loop by the whole thing. >> sorry. >> jimmy: no, not sorry at all. the co-founder of reddit alexis ohanian is here. he's also in love with a tennis player -- >> i'm not anymore. i want to be clear. >> jimmy: i get it. but he's marrying serena williams. so in a way you have that in common. have you been on reddit, have you seen that? >> i'm not great on things like that. i know reddit is the one where sometimes you can find pictures of porn stars with your own face on it. [ laughter ] isn't it? >> jimmy: i would imagine that that's probably there, yes. >> i've been sent a few quite
12:00 am
distressing photos of myself. very busy. not just in a wicker chair naked but involved. you know what i mean. with more than one person. so when i got sent it, i just immediately sent it to my mother with no explanation. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: and how would she react to that? >> she's used to shocks. she's used to shocks. because she knows about the crush on you and everything. but really offensively i get a text back, oh, darling, oh, dear, oh, no, oh, you've got hardwood floors and that's a carpet. >> jimmy: is that a euphemism? >> no, what can i possibly cling on to that proves this isn't kate. not my six african-american boyfriends all at once. but the fact that that's a carpet. >> jimmy: sounds like you're doing a good job of embarrassing both your mother and your daughter simultaneously. we'll be back to talk about the movie "the only living boy in
12:01 am
new york." we'll be right back. [ applause ] i switched to t-mobile, kept my phone-everything on it- -oh, they even paid it off! wow! yeah. it's nice that every bad decision doesn't have to be permenant! ditch verizon. keep your phone. we'll even pay it off when you switch to america's best unlimited network. the ford summer sales event is in full swing. it's gonna work, i promise you, we can figure this out. babe... little help. -hold on, mom. no, wifi. wifi. it's not a question, it's a thing. take on summer right with ford, america's best-selling brand. now with summer's hottest offer. get zero percent for seventy-two months plus an additional thousand on top of your trade-in. during the ford summer sales event get zero percent for seventy-two months
12:02 am
plus an additional thousand on top of your trade-in. offer ends soon. latches onto youry finger so hard, it's like she's saying i love you. that's why aveeno's oat formula is designed for your baby's sensitive skin. aveeno®. naturally beautiful babies.
12:03 am
12:04 am
12:05 am
12:06 am
how do you know your mother isn't giving into me? >> what's that supposed to mean? >> i mean that people do things all the time without realizing. might be giving into me without comprehending it. you're doing something right now without realizing it. >> yeah? what am i doing? >> you're trying to make love to me. >> i'm trying to make what to you? i'm trying to make love to you? >> you just don't realize it. >> that's kate beckinsale. >> i know. >> jimmy: give us a little summary of what the movie is about. >> the movie is about -- i'm having an affair with pierce
12:07 am
brosnan who is married to cynthia nixon. and his son realizes that and sorts of stalks me around new york. and i start having an affair with him also. jeff bridges is in the movie. >> jimmy: you do not have an affair with him? >> the only person i did not. >> jimmy: did you spend much time with jeff? >> i think the thing with jeff, you think he's so cool, then when you meet him, he's even cooler than you thought he would be. >> jimmy: i agree with you, yes. >> he's obsessed with that game with the little plastic pigs in a bag. >> jimmy: yeah. you know what? he brought the pigs in the bag to the show once years ago. >> did he? he's still at it. >> jimmy: he's still playing the pigs in a bag. he dumps the pigs out and where they land is completely incomprehensible to anybody but jeff. >> in jeff bridge's voice, you've got a sideways leaning oinker. great. oh, not great.
12:08 am
there's lots of terms like poker. >> jimmy: there's no money -- was there money involved? >> the glory of winning. >> jimmy: the glory of winning, yeah, that's the beautiful thing about jeff bridges. he's not concerned about that sort of thing. >> at all. >> jimmy: so what's the conversation with you and your daughter be like when you leave here? will there be harsh words exchanged? >> there might not be one. that might be it. if you can provide us with a duvet cover and pillowcases with your image on them. do you have a bedding line? >> jimmy: not now, but hopefully i could parlay this into something, me and luke skywalker. we'll get you some sheets. she's already lost interest. thank you so much for being here. the movie is called "the only living boy in new york" opens in theaters august 11th. kate beckinsale, everyone. we'll be right back. we want falcons in new york.
12:09 am
jets in la. bears in new orleans. or buccaneers in a quaint, little new england bed and breakfast. can you please pass the marmalade, charlie? i sure can, crazy pirate. switch to directv and get every game, every sunday with nfl sunday ticket. call 1-800-directv. hey. what can you tell me about your new social security alerts? oh! we'll alert you if we find your social security number on any one of thousands of risky sites, so you'll be in the know. ooh. sushi. ugh. being in the know is a good thing. sign up online for free. discover social security alerts. i can embrace a world fullber, of surprising moments. experience more as a member. the marriott portfolio has 30 brands in over 110 countries. so no matter where you go, you're here.
12:10 am
it's about time they gave left and right twix® their own packs. they got about as much in common as you, a mortician, and me, an undertaker. (chuckling) or you, a janitor, and me, a custodian. (laughing) or you, a ghost, and me, a spirit. (laughing) new left and right twix® packs. it's time to deside. e to move you can do endless 201online researchnt, about the escalade. or, you can come in and have it all for less than you might imagine. don't wait. our 2017 models will be moving fast. you can drive a car... or you can drive a cadillac. come in now before the end of our made to move 2017 clearance event and leave with the perfect cadillac escalade for you. purchase with 0% percent apr for 72 months. having mplaque psoriasise is not always easy. it's a long-distance run. and you have the determination to keep going. humira has a proven track record
12:11 am
of being prescribed for nearly 10 years. humira works inside the body to target and help block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to symptoms. in clinical trials, most adults taking humira were clear or almost clear and many saw 75% and even 90% clearance in just four months. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal, infections and cancers, including lymphoma have happened as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms, or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. join over 250,000 people who have chosen humira. ask about the #1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists. humira & go. do you remember when i took your [photo this morning?, [boy] yea! [intern] i'm afraid i have some terrible news.
12:12 am
you have...bug eyes! here come the bugs! ahh! bugs everywhere! uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. for atheir new signatureald's issriracha sandwich. up with it's the latest in mcdonald's line of signature crafted recipes. and features mcdonald's exclusive sriracha mac sauce. a deliciously creamy sauce with just the right amount of spice. paired with crispy onions, fresh baby spinach and kale the signature sriracha sandwich is yours to enjoy on your choice of beef or chicken. pick one up, and take the flavor up. but do it today. because it's only here for a limited time.
12:13 am
you'busted tail.rd. and impressed the boss. maybe, it's time to be your own. transform your career with strayer university's mba program today. let's get it, america. dear fellow citizen, hunting treasures with my daughter is wonderful. because before i'm ready, she'll be off to college. i want to help her pay her way there. like i do for my son. call 1-866-999-0148. as a leader in student lending,
12:14 am
we have student loan options that others don't. if you have a question about student loans, ask me. sincerely, michele wright, fellow mom and fellow citizen. call 1-866-999-0148 to apply now. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. the co-founder and executive from reddit.
12:15 am
thanks for coming. i read your book over vacation and i was interested in having you on the show. explain what it is. >> those are the productive people. >> jimmy: yes. >> reddit is the front page of the internet. the social network where there's tens of thousands of communities around whatever passions or interests you might have where people converse about things that are most important to them. >> jimmy: the thing about it is they're able to be very, very specific. not just if you like sports, you can whittle it, not just if you like football, you can whittle it down to like the bird teams. teams with bird mascots. >> jimmy: is that really one? >> they fight against the cat teams. this is nfl. i don't know if they expand to other leagues. it's this thing, this sense of community that i think people are surprised by when they
12:16 am
realize oh i'm not the only one who roots for all the bird mascot teams. internet brings us together. >> jimmy: previously we only had this with sexual fetishes where people came together and figured out what horrible thing they liked. >> the worldwide web. >> jimmy: are there sub-reddits as they're called that you go to regularly? >> i subscribe to probably hundred. they run the gamut. i'm going to be a dad soon. so i love our children falling over which is full of videos that parents take of their kids falling over. presumably the kids are all okay afterwards, but it's helped teach me how resilient the little ones are. there's animals being jerks. videos of animals who are cute when they act like people. less so when they're being jerks to one another. there's also animals being bros, when they're being nice to each other. >> jimmy: let me open reddit up while you're telling us about this. >> tens of thousands of communities. when they come together, the only thing they're identified by
12:17 am
is this alter eveningo. so it's bringing in other people from literally all over the world who may not think they have anything in common but in fact have a lot more in common than they thought. >> jimmy: this is the front page of reddit right now. it starts with canadians are notorious for being kind. marijuana moms. this dog looks like william h. macy. i'm going to have to click on that. [ laughter ] then i guess we'll determine whether the dog -- oh, yeah. totally. >> someone get that dog an agent. >> jimmy: wow. >> what's amazing about this is you have these users. this is griff 42 who might have a very important day job. they might just be a bored college student or a head of state. >> jimmy: no, definitely not. definitely not a head of state. we could go way down a rabbit hole here. there's some filthy stuff on here. >> what's impressive, though, is the fact that people are
12:18 am
spending this time and, you know, by the wisdom of the crowd -- it's 300 million people every month are on reddit. some of you hopefully in the audience. [ applause ] thank you, by the way. and they're creating this through the wisdom of the crowd this amazing content through really good conversation, and the best stuff gets voted up. the next day it shows up on blogs. >> jimmy: an amazing story how you got it all started and drew out the logo yourself. >> yes. >> jimmy: then you started just seeing people posting on. do you have like an all-time favorite post? >> there's a lot. one of my favorites was on a community called ask reddit where people just ask open-ended questions. one of our most popular ones. the question was have you ever picked up a hitchhiker. an innocuous question. and the top rated comment was
12:19 am
from this person who talked about not actually having picked up a hitchhiker but being helped when they were stranded on the side of the road. the car was totally wrecked. this family pulled over. this middle of the rain, you can just imagine. then out of the darkness this pickup pulls up and this family piles out of it and they're a bunch of mexican immigrants. he can tell from the little bit of english they speak, they want to help and they do so. they offer him food and give him a fresh tamale. he's insisting, let me give you some money. they don't speak a ton of english. he's trying to hand them 20 bucks or something because no one else would help him. the family got back in the car and said, no, no, no way. on the way out the driver said today you, tomorrow me. and this obviously, resonated with him. he shares this story on reddit. half a million people see it, "the new york times" excerpts it the next day. a half million people got to enjoy, not because that guy it happens to is famous but because the internet said, this is good. more people need to hear it.
12:20 am
in the last 12 years since we started it, the platform has given me so many more reasons to feel more connected to my fellow humans than any other social network. >> jimmy: wait till you see what they write about you after the show. [ applause ] this is the other project you're working on right now. >> most important one. >> jimmy: that baby came from you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: were you at the photo shoot? >> i was. and it was -- there are photos of me as well with her, but they put those way in the back. and as soon as i saw -- i mean, you watch annie leibovitz, a living legend, photographer. as soon as they started posing for this, you could just tell you were watching something amazing. you could tell you were watching
12:21 am
this really iconic image. >> jimmy: what a great thing to have. do you know the gender of your child? >> i don't. >> jimmy: i like that. we didn't either. >> i will say this, we have our hunches. she put it really well, actually, in the middle -- obviously, she won the australian open while pregnant. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll tell you what, no male player has ever done that. >> no, and never will. and she remarked that she feels hike it has to be a girl because everything that little baby went through and handled like a champ only a woman could be strong enough to take on. i have to admit -- [ applause ] i was very lucky, very lucky to be raised by very strong amazing mother. and i mean, she's got a good point. if anything, this is my first child, this is our first child, if anything, it's really just reinforced how just amazing and strong and powerful and awesome women are.
12:22 am
and how useless we are during this whole thing. i can make you a grilled cheese? >> jimmy: grilled cheese or sandwich. >> very, very important. >> jimmy: let's not minimize that. >> we're worthless. >> jimmy: in the way its the greatest nerd makes good story in history. you marrying serena williams. pretty unbelievable. might be the greatest athlete in american history or the history of the world, not just tennis. this is unbelievable that she's chosen to populate -- [ laughter ] i don't mean that as an insult. >> unconventional, i know. >> jimmy: have you ever played tennis with her? >> i never picked up a racket. i was so ignorant when we first met, i never watched a match on television. i would change the channel. i was an arrogant football snob. and i turned the channel when tennis was on. she offer to give me lessons. >> jimmy: and? >> i turned them down. i would be the only person who ever turned down serena williams
12:23 am
for tennis lessons and i knew there was no benefit for her seeing me that bad. >> jimmy: this picture would have never happened had you played tennis with her. that would have been it. >> true. >> jimmy: you're a smart guy, no question about it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. great to meet you. alexis ohanian, everybody. he runs reddit. go on it. we'll be right back with justin moore. >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. but it's my anniversary. aw. sorry. we've got other plans. your recurring, unpredictable abdominal pain and diarrhea... ...may be irritable bowel syndrome with diarrhea, or ibs-d.
12:24 am
you've tried over-the-counter treatments and lifestyle changes, but ibs-d can be really frustrating. talk to your doctor about viberzi,... ...a different way to treat ibs-d. viberzi is a prescription medication you take every day that helps proactively manage... ...both abdominal pain and diarrhea at the same time. so you stay ahead of your symptoms. viberzi can cause new or worsening abdominal pain. do not take viberzi if you have no gallbladder, have pancreas or severe liver problems, problems with alcohol abuse, long-lasting or severe constipation, or a bowel or gallbladder blockage. pancreatitis may occur and can lead to hospitalization and death. if you are taking viberzi,... ...you should not take medicines that cause constipation. the most common side effects of viberzi... ...include constipation, nausea, and abdominal pain. stay ahead of ibs-d with viberzi. ♪...from far away. but they only ♪harsee his wrinkles.♪ ... ♪if only harry used some... ♪...bounce, to dry. ♪he would be a less wrinkly, winning guy.♪
12:25 am
♪ sailin' away on the crest of ea wave, it's like magic ♪ ♪ rollin' and ridin' and slippin' and slidin' ♪ ♪ it's magic ♪ and you, and your sweet desire ♪ ♪ you took me, higher and higher, baby ♪ ♪ it's a livin' thing ♪ it's a terrible thing to lose ♪ introducing the all new volkswagen tiguan. the new king of the concrete jungle.
12:26 am
take 25% off under armour that's 25% off select under armour apparel, shoes and accessories for the whole family and, everyone gets kohl's cash!... earn it on everything! spend it on anything! get your game on with under armour. now at kohl's.
12:27 am
what bad back?gels work so fast you'll ask what pulled hammy? advil liqui - gels make pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer what pain? advil. latches onto youry finger so hard, it's like she's saying i love you. that's why aveeno's oat formula is designed for your baby's sensitive skin. aveeno®. naturally beautiful babies.
12:28 am
if you're fg going to be in the l.a. area and want to see the show, go to jimmy kimmel live.com.
12:29 am
12:30 am
>> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him.
12:31 am
here with the song "somebody else will," justin moore! [ applause ] ♪ been sittin' here tippin' back crown straight workin' up the nerve and the words to say ♪ ♪ to turn those eyes and that smile my way no time to waste 'cause you showed up ♪ ♪ and all eyes on you shinin' like a diamond in a neon room every guy here wants ♪ ♪ to make a move i better make a move 'cause somebody else will if i don't walk up and ♪ ♪ ask you your name right now offer to buy you a drink sit down and tell you ♪ ♪ your looks could kill somebody else will if i don't take a chance on your lips ♪ ♪ lean in slowly stealin' your
12:32 am
kiss like this makin' your world stand still ♪ ♪ somebody else will somebody else will maybe you're a little bit west coast ♪ ♪ or maybe you're a little bit down home either way girl i just gotta know ♪ ♪ i just gotta know 'cause somebody else will if i don't walk up and ask you your name ♪ ♪ right now offer to buy you a drink sit down and tell you your looks could kill ♪ ♪ somebody else will if i don't take a chance on your lips lean in slowly ♪ ♪ stealin' your kiss like this makin' your world stand still somebody else is gonna ♪ ♪ hold ya somebody gonna get to know ya if i don't get there and sweep you off ♪ ♪ your feet girl 'cause somebody
12:33 am
else will oh somebody else ♪ ♪ will somebody else will if i don't walk up and ask you your name ♪ ♪ right now offer to buy you a drink sit down and tell you your looks could kill ♪ ♪ somebody else will if i don't take a chance on your lips lean in slowly ♪ ♪ stealin' your kiss like this makin' your world stand still somebody else will ♪ baby oh ♪ ♪ somebody else will ♪ yeah ♪ somebody else will ♪ somebody else will [ cheers and applause ]
12:34 am
♪ ♪ i've been watching my weight i've been tryin' to do right i've been tryin' to get ♪ ♪ a little more sleep at night i've been workin' like a dog i've been goin' to church ♪ ♪ yeah i've been bein' so damn good it hurts i kinda wanna light up a couple smokes ♪ ♪ kinda want some crown mixed in my coke kinda wanna hole up in some corner booth ♪ somewhere ♪ ♪ i kinda wanna find a pretty little thing that's kinda like
12:35 am
me ♪ ♪ don't want no strings knowin' ♪ i don't want to sit around here ♪ ♪ your memory ♪ kind of want to raise my fingers ♪ ♪ kind of want to how old out in some corner somewhere ♪ ♪ don't want no strings ♪ in the morning it ain't going
12:36 am
nowhere but tonight i kind of don't care ♪ ♪ kind of want some mixed in my coke ♪ ♪ in a corner booth somewhere ♪ i kinda wanna find a pretty little thing that's kinda like me ♪ ♪ don't want no strings knowin' in the morning it ain't going nowhere ♪ ♪ but tonight i kind of don't care ♪ ♪ tonight i don't care ♪ if you don't care ♪ then i kind of don't care
12:37 am
hell, i don't care ♪ // this is night line. tonight, game changer. star cowboys running back ezekiel elliott suspended for six games over alleged domestic violence. his apparent disrespecting of women. he's never been arrested or charged. what the nfl said that it discovered that led to his suspension. plus, the beautiful nanny who married her boss, raising his children as her own. until one day she says a life or death struggle, her father running in to intervene. >> i thought he would kill my father. >> her husband left dead. the father/daughter duo saying self-defense. but a jury convicting they will both of murder. inside the crime

59 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on