tv Today NBC September 19, 2009 7:00am-8:00am EDT
babar: great, arthur. now, would you get him to stop? this is embarrassing enough. [all laugh] polly: captain babar. [polly squawks] captain babar. babar: and then they came at us. just arthur and i against the four of them. ho-ho! that ratty bill was a nasty customer with even a nastier grin. children: ooh! kids, don't you think it's time for bed? all: shh! babar: and so there we were-- four? did i say four? there were four in front and another 20 behind. it's gonna be a long night. they thought they had us outnumbered, but they had never come up against uncle arthur and buccaneer babar.
ha. don't you ever get tired of losing to me, jakey? i thought for sure i was gonna beat you that time. think again. [crashing] rashing] [beeping] [♪] daily crown newspaper? buford: hey, jacob! are you up for some-- say again, buford? say again? hey, i'm not done beating you at checkers yet. i can't hear you! i can't hear you! [bangs] you want me to make your moves for you, jacob? fine. whatever you say. what did you say? i said-- man's voice: pick up your copy of the daily crown today. montreal's newest daily newspaper. take it from the king, carl fester king. don't get down. erase your frown.
♪ jacob two-two ♪ jacob two-two ♪ two-two [♪] man's voice: take it from the king, carl fester king. don't get down. erase your frown. go to town with the daily crown. your majesty carl fester king hereby decrees: don't forget to order yoursubscription to the daily crown! let's check it out. if they're hyping this newspaper so much, it must be pretty good. uh-uh. awful. ugh. hmm. this paper is garbage! there'hardly any news. it's jam-packewith ads. and the writing is terrible. listen. no good nohow." the comics are bad too. not one of them was funny.
and i know funny. like dogs wearing hats, that always makes me laugh! [laughs] this paper isn't good for anything! that's not entirely true... [♪] i mean, who would read that sorry excuse for a newspaper? [gasps] dad? dad? hmm? oh, hi, ja, buford. you're reading the daily crown? indubitably. "indubitably"? it means "without a doubt." i just got my subscription today. my dad, the language expert, is reading that shoddy paper? i don't get it. [hummi] renee: tch out! [screams] zut. hi, renée! you deliver the daily crown? yeah. and what does that have to do with you? nothing. nothing at all.
[crashing] [crashing] [crashing] [crashing] [♪] that's the third shipment of newspapers today. who does carl fester king think he is, disturbing everyone when they're trying to sleep? [electronic music playing] can't you see i'm videotaping myself in digital surround sound while i paint my art project? i can't sleep, and i was wondering, could i please use your compur to do a search on carl fester king? let you use my computer? as if!
you can stand there all night if you want. i don't care. fine. here you go. [beeps] jaco no, not that one. that's just the dc site. i want to get the dirt on carl fester king. there! that one. you n look at the screen, but don't touch anything. don't sneeze, don't scratch, don't twitch, n't fidget, don't breath. you have 30 seconds. former door-to-door salesman. sold vacuum cleaners that didn't work, kitchen gadgets, and other items nobody needed. until he inherited a newspaper press and put out the daily crown. [rings] so how did failed salesman with an awful newspaper manage to snag the highest readership rate in the city practically overnight? marfa: don't know. don't care. time's up. get out.
thank you. thank you! those daily crown trucks kept me up all night. me too. even ear plugs didn't help. i was going to try pudding, but my dad says i shouldn't be putting food in my ears anymore. there's something very suspicious about that newspaper. i believe this is a job for x. barnaby dinglebat, master spy! [♪] [jacob gasps] this is terrible! everadult we know turns into a zombie when they read that pape this must be happening all over montreal. [♪] we're on our own, buford. it's up to us to find out what's going on.
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it's is bigger than i thought. buford: cool. [gatbuzzing] female voice: please state identity. [beeping] identity not verified. oh... security clearance refused. state your business. [growling] we're here for a tour of the daily crown. there are no tours of the daily crown. the only people allowed in are employees, capiche? c-c-capiche. capiche. je refuse. i just got this job! i won't risk losing it just because you think
something weird is going on. if you want to snoop around, do it yourselves. but we already told you. we can't, because-. but we could be. i thought we were gonna go snooping. we've got our security cards. we have to do at least one day's worth of deliveries so they won't be suspicious. [gasps] [♪] [panting]
[panting] huh? [giggles] [sighs] it'sood to see people recycle in your neighborhood. hey, these are all from products advertised in the daily crown. it's carl fester king's personal line of junk. and everyone's buying it! even mr. dinglebat. and your parents. the full one 130 volumes of king encyclopedias? but my dad already has more books than most libraries. sheesh! if folks keep buying daily crown stuff at this rate, they'll be broke in no time.
wait a minute. who are they? woman's voice: identity not verified. security clearance refused. security gave me the brushoff, o'toole. we'll just have to find some other way to get inside, my good shapiro. cob [deep voice]: what are you kids doing here? w-w-we were just leaving, uh, sir. oth laughing] beat it, jacob! kid power is on a top secret mission. so are we. what's youmission? if you must know, we're trying to return this. the checkers are supposed to jump themselves. but they jump all over the place instead of where you want them to go. the game is useless! it's a travesty! we demand justice! justice! it's not just this game. all the daily crown stuff is junk, but everyone's buying it. please state identity.
[growling] [barking] soon another edition of the daily crown will roll off the presses. and another round of crappy king products will go flying off the shelves! [king laughing] what's with the outfit? carl fester king. soon to be mega-billionaire and undisputed king of the world! [laughs] we've got to stop him. [dog growls] note to self. underline "king of the world." brillit.
[electricity crackles] whoa! it's the ink for the paper. it's the ink! no, it's the ink that's doing it. it's special ink. ink that can-- king: brainwash readers. yes, very perceptive. but do you know how it wor? [slurps] jacob: yeah! the ink gets on their thumbs, then on their tongues when they lick their thumbs, and travels into their brains. that's how i can subliminally convince the fools to buy my products. i rule them all! just because you sell everyone junk doesn't mean you rule them. and just because your name is king doesn't mean you are one! i am too! i don't think real kings ride golf carts. i am a king! i am a king! i am a king! you know, if you need more proof, how about a visit to my dark, dingy dungeon?
[laughing] hey! [♪] security! security!answer me! this game doesn't work at all! crusher, crusher! where is that dog? [squeaks] [♪] what are you doing here? my parents were behaving très bizarre, and i figured that maybe you were right... for once. gee thanks. keep him busy. i think i know how to expose him with his own lousy paper. i'll meet you at tront gate. whoa! king] [beeping] let's see. first we stop the presses.
a double headline. sounds like something jacob would say. sending the ki stuff back? yes, honey. i have no idea why we bought it in the first place. i don't know why i subscribed to that awful paper either. i should ccel it. indubitably! [clattering] ah, the dailydoze. w this is a newspaper. i asked for a route with fewer stairs. don't they know i'm the king? hey! [♪] jacob: when strange things started happening around town, buford and i decided to help. using teamwork, we got to the bottom of the mystery. if something doesn't seem right, find out why maybe you'll solve a mystery too. just like me, jacob two-two.
[♪] man: ♪ there once was a lady in waiting ♪ ♪ let's call her jane that girl wasn't ordinary ♪ jane: ♪ no way for me a lady stuck in waiting ♪ ♪ i'd rather battle fire-breathing dragons ♪ ♪ i knew i could prove that a girl could be a knight ♪ ♪ though my friends all laughed at me ♪ ♪ but i wouldn't be discouraged and trained in secret ♪ ♪ then a dragon pinched the royal prince ♪ ♪ and everyone was freakin' ♪ so i went alone to the dragon's home ♪ ♪ to slay the dragon chorus: ♪ hey, now, hey, now, now ♪ jane and the dragon are best friends now ♪ : ♪ dragon's sweet, he let me see the young prince ♪ ♪ then the king made me a knight apprentice ♪ chorus: ♪ hey, now, hey, now, now jane ♪ with dragon's help i'll be a knight someday ♪
dragon: ho. whoa-oa-oa. [sighs] oh, dear. whoa. no. tail up. claws down. [grunts] jane? did you see that? sorry. missed it. [both grunting] a perfect five-point landing. dragon...i am a little busy here. [both grunting] yes. busy losing. crack him one. [both grunting] admit it. you cannot match me at staves. can...and...will. there is no shame in being outmatched, jane. [laughs] we are not finished. oh, yes, we are. go practice something you can do, like, um, needlework. whoa. [♪] he walked off. yes. just as i was getting the upper hand,
he walked off. tail between his legs like a scared dog. i was completely outmatched. completely. now, what about that landing? oh-ho. you should have seen it. jane, it was brilliant. wings wide, head low. oh, i was good. [laughs] [humming] jeer, could you step aside, please? step? why certainly, smithy. with these dancing feet. [whistling] no, no, no. these are dancing feet. [deep-throated humming] [grunts] there you go, smithy. got it for you. [jane laughs, snorts] the dance competition
has started early, i see. well...i will be dancing. smithy, apparently, will be squashing bugs. i will squash you, jingler. i think not. pepper: how about you two dancing those supplies into my kitchen? take your parsnips, gentlemen. [whistling] look at all this extra work. but worth it. you will love what i have planned this year. i love everything about the ball. me too. the music. your wonderful cooking. the queen's new go. the dancing. jester's jokes. ha. the dancing. [both giggle] ooh. your first ball as a knight. dancing outside, dancing inside. there you go, pepper. a basket of my best beets and beans. and... for you. oh, rake.
how beautiful. there are plentyore. i set them to bloom early for you... pepper. you can decorate the whole ball with them. [gasps] thank you. that is perfect, rake. i can do everything in shades of red. like you. mother: pepper? [door opens] pepper? [whispers] mother. we need to go over the menu. i am not sure about the pudding. menu, madam? [♪] [humming through lips] jane! jane! are you excited? about what, princess lavinia? jane. the ball. oh. what ball? the ball. with the dancing and pretty dresses, and hats and feasting and hair.
big, big hair all tied up like this... right upo here. [gasps] i want tomorrow to come now. you must promise to dance with me. [chuckles] i promise. a oper promise. not a pretend promise. yes, proper promise. if you promise to help choose the flowers. [giggles] um... do you choose red ones or red ones? red ones. [♪] [inhales deeply] [grunts] [sighs] no need to help with the heavy work, jane. you keep on with the flower arrangements. [snores] hold this for me, princess.
[grunting] [laughs] [sighs] [whistles casually] gunther is very strong. [♪] oh. there you are, princess. and jane. you must try on your gown before the ball. mother. nts] i shall not be wring a gown this year. i all wear my tunic. uh-ha. but of course you will wear a gown. so you can dance with me. come along, princess. jane and i will speak abt this later. i am a knight, mother. [sighs] keep on telling yourself that. [blows] whoa! [♪] [snores]
dragon: aha. trying to shed your skin. let me guess. dragon envy? [grunts] missed. yes. and not for the first time today. i was useless at staves. i landed one blow today. just one. gunther landed a dozen or more. so? you have qualities that gunther lacks. like what? intelligence, style, determination. stop me if it gets embarrassing. no, no, carry on. grace, humor, red hair, short temper, messy. just look at this room. look at it. shameful. [laughs] stop. you sound like my mother. [imitating mother] jane, you must wear a gown to the ball. oh. ha. and in front of gunther. how could she? she has to take seriously, dragon. they all do. there is no way i am going to that ball in a gown and have gunther smirking at me.
[birds cawing] jane: take that, knave. [grunting] weevil. varlet. [man clears throat] oh, uh, sir-- sir theodore. it takes many different kinds of skills to become a knight, jane. in addition to name-calling, that is. oh, uh, yes, sir. play to your strengths, jane. a successful knight knows this. strengths? gunther is far stronger than me. ah, but gunther is overconfident and lazy on his feet. you should practice your footwork. footwork? now attack m [♪]
[grunts] sir theodore: here i am. [grunts] again. [grunting] and so. oh. sir... what do you call that? i call it "dancing." [♪] dragon: one, two, three, four. one, two, three, four. one, two, three, four. one, two... taken lessons from smithy, have we? [loudly] one, two, three, four. you know what they say: always learn from the best. exactly. so learn from the boy with bells on his hat and magic in his shoes. and flames in his hair if i lose count again. uh, behold the amazing backward-dancing boy.
[laughs, snorts] gunther: oh. jane dancing. [scoffs] how very...appropriate. i was expecting to see you practicing staves in the yard. i was there. where were you? sir ivon said i had no further need of practice. it seems my stave work is excellent. really? yes,eally. but then, you already have the bruises to prove that. carry on dancing. clearly, that needs practice as well. say the word, jane. one word, and that little short-life is charcoal. and what word woulthat be? um... charcoal? jane. great. the gown. come along, jane. we must choose tonight's gown. but, mother, we discussed this. please, dear. there will be no more talk of wearing your tunic. uh, moer, this is my first ball as a knight, and-- if you wish to attend the ball, then you will do so in a gown.
and that is my final word on the matter. [♪] [sighs] not go to the ball? mother was very clear. no gown, no ball. and i am a knight, pepper. i will not wear a gown. sir ivon and sir theodore are both knights, and they always go. not in gowns. [chuckles] sir ivon in a gown. now, that would be a thing of beauty. [chuckles] but you love the ball. oh, jane, just one night no one will think any less of you. gunther will. what about the princess? [gasps] i promised her the first dance. oh. oh. she will understand. i will just have to break it to her gently. yes. [clanging musically] [grunting]
[panting] [metal sizzling] how was that? hm? oh, very, um... entertaining? entertaining? uh, no. no, it was, uh, brilliant. great footwork, such agility. if we get attacked by barrel hoops, you are the knight for the job. thank you. welcome. now, will you please stop? this is boring. you are a far better knight than gunther, so give it up, please? listen, green lips, i have to get this right. [metal pounded musically] whoa. ooh. ouch. oh. uh, thank u, jane. always good for a belly laugh. [sarcastically] ha-ha. [♪]
[water flowing] [wings flap] [thud] dragon. jane. what was that? a dragon trying to play hopscotch. badly. lavinia: i want to play. i want to play. [giggling] princess lavinia. [chuckles] mm. time for your rest, princess. but i want to play with jane. darling, you shall see jane this evening at the ball. after your rest. then can i help you get dressed, jane? princess... [sighs] ...i will not be going to the ball tonight. not going? not this time. sorry. how can i have fun without you? well. you have jester and his funny jokes. and the musicians.
and all of pepper's lovely food. but, jane, we have to dance. you promised. and we will, princess. but not tonight. [sobs] [♪] i am disappointed, jane. oh, what have i done? um-mm-mm... silence from the dragon, i think. rake: oh, no. what is it, rake? my roses. they are gone. who would dare raid the royal garden? apart from smithy's dancing. [chuckles] sorry out the roses, pepper. i shall think of something. and it is not your fault, rake. no. it is mine. no. it is. i was so busy fussing about gunther and about my gown, i forgot to do the one thing i should do:
guard the castle. but i will catch the thief, rake. depend on it. thanks. i would much rather you went to the ball instead. [♪] oh, look at that sun. uh, time for patrol aeady? m-maggots. the ball will be a complete dung bucket without jane. rake: like an orchard without its shiniest apple. if jane s to patrol and not wear a gown, and avoid gunther, then-- pepper moment coming up. she can still do all that and go to a ball. a ball right here in the garden. pepper, i love the way you think. me too. so our special jane ball needs-- jane. uh-- oh, sorry. ahem. [chuckles] [♪] alquiet on the case front. can you see anything suspicious, dragon?
[rake laughs] uh, no. um, nothing to report. [people chatter] uh, no, wait. yes. what? oh, some sort of grand party about to happen in the throne room. thank you. i had no idea. come on. we should land and patrol on foot. anything? [whispers] nothing. [trumpet fanfare plays] [applause] [classical music playing] the ball is starting. king caradoc will be leading the procession with queen gwendolyn. princess lavinia will be finding a partner. ivon will be under the table.
prince cuthbert will be screaming for food, and-- jester: help! help! [laughs] she's coming. hide. [jester grunting] jester. unhand me, you villain. hold on. it is me. ha, ha, ha. jester. ha. got you. smithy, pepper and rake: surprise! [all laugh] what is all this? your very own ball, jane. no one wanted you to miss out. you did all this for me? and as guest of honor, you judge our dance competition. [laughs] always a catch. then let it begin. eh-- did you know your scarecrow could lk? put your feet where your mouth is. [♪]
oh, i shld be standing watch. i can do it. thank you. and if you see anything-- yes, call you. yes. [applause] your verdict, fair maiden. man: jester! bring on the jester! i will return forthwith to accept victory with appropriate humility. mother: pepper? we are waiting for the soup. coming, milady. they have no idea. [♪] [branches snap]
[people laughing] right. they seemed to like my newokes upstairs. wonders. [giggles] now, what about my new dance? yes, jane. your verdict. must i decide? jester and smithy: yes. oh. right. well... i declare the winner to be... [wings flapping] dragon. uh... uh, no, jane. uh. between us. smithy: wait. who won? [classical music playing] [branch snaps] [gasps] you there. halt in the name of the king. rats. inside the knights' quarters. got it covered.
[gasps] gunther? [growls] um. nicely done, jane. she passed the night-watch test with flying colors. chrysanthemums this time. and before that, roses. but can you prove it? nobut you ll confess to it. when i beat you. [both grunting] i think not. jane: oof. whoa. oops. heh. jane, watch out. shall we dance? [♪] whoa. pepper: go, jane! jester: all right, jane! [all yelling] slay his flower-picking rump. [both grunting] whoa. whoa. but-- oh, no! ouch. yes! yield. all right. yield. and the roses?
i love dancing, jane. so, so much. do you? do you just love it so much? yes, i do, princess. i love dancing. welcome to "agon talk." i shall not be wearing a gown this year. i shall wear my tunic. ha-ha. but of cour you will wear a gown. dragon: short-lis have a lot to worry about. as a dragon, i don't have to be concerned with what to wear. jane was able to stay true to herself, and also keep her promise of dancing with the princess,