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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  August 20, 2010 12:35am-1:35am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] "jimmy fallon" happening right
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[ cheers and appuse ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you so much! welcome. welcome to "late night" with jimmy fallon, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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thank you so much. >> audience: i love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: i love you, too. let's get right to the news here, though. [ laughter ] no more loving. let's learn a little bit. president obama made his big appearance on "the view" today. did you guys hear about this? did you see this? [ cheers and applause ] pretty interesting. it's very cool. he said that he doesn't know who snooki is. [ laughter ] then again, after about five drinks, neither does she. [ laughter ] so it's kind of interesting. i could see that working. also, on "the view," obama said that he won't be going to chelsea clinton's wedding on saturday. because "you don't want two presidents at one wedding." [ laughter ] hilary was like "yeah, we get it. you won, okay? big deal!" [ laughter ] "who cares?" i just heard about this. president obama's education secretary arne duncan said that schools should stay open for 12 hours a day. [ boos ] you know what? i completely agree, and i'll tell you why. because i'm not in school anymore. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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crazy. toyota is recalling more than 400,000 cars in the u.s. because of steering problems. today, toyota's crisis management spokesman issued a statement saying, "good to be back!" [ laughter ] "good to be back. how was your summer? was it good? you lost weight. anyway, we gotta take 400 cars back." this is a pretty crazy story. a hospital in virginia mixed up two babies and a newborn was accidentally breastfed by the wrong mother. [ laughter ] in a statement, the baby said, "hell, yeah, i did." [ laughter ] right. [ applause ] the baby said that? i don't know if you guys read about this. leonardo dicaprio has pulled out of mel gibson's upcoming movie about vikings. yeah, leo was like, "i don't mind being portrayed as a ruthless killer who rapes and pillages, but i don't want people thinking i hang out with mel gibson." [ laughter ] that's great. check this out. the new york city fire department had to rescue a 600-pound man this week after he
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fell in his apartment and couldn't get up. yeah, they called an ambulance to help save the man and then another ambulance to help save the first ambulance. [ laughter ] very interesting how they did that. hey, you guys, it's rumored that fox is going to announce simon cowell's "american idol" replacement on monday. yeah, of course, there's no word on who's going to replace the viewers. [ laughter ] but they'll figure that out. here's some tv news. some other tv news. the new season of "survivor" will split the contestants into an "over 40" tribe and an "under 30" tribe. right, the "over 40" tribe will set out to prove that they still have what it takes to win, and the "under 30" tribe -- will win. [ laughter ] speaking of tv shows, cbs is coming out with a new sitcom called "mike & molly," about two plus-sized people in love. yeah, the show's been called 100% original by someone who's never seen "roseanne." [ laughter ]
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totally -- never heard of this idea. [ cheers and applause ] amazing new -- sarcastic. and finally, a company in massachusetts is working on a new shot to treat herpes. some people are wary, though, because too many shots is how they ended up with herpes. ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we got a fantastic show tonight. thank you for watching it. it's gonna be so fun. a very, very talented artist and great guy, 50 cent is here, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] curtis jackson! from the funny movie "dinner for schmucks," the very funny lucy punch is joining us! [ cheers and applause ] and we've got some great, great music tonight from of montreal featuring solange knowles! [ cheers and applause ]
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this is going to be a fun one. they're great. it's gonna be really, really good. all right, guys, it's thursday. that means it's time to "remix the clips." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] now, this is where we take stuff we found on the internet and tv -- stuff that's funny, weird, or interesting -- and have our very own questlove remix it, live, yeah. [ cheers ] our first clip is a clip from president obama. he was on "the view" this morning, as i told you earlier. and whoopi asked him about his ipod and -- sorry, justin bieber, it looks like you didn't make the cut. check it out. >> what's the first couple songs on your ipod? >> i've -- you name it -- you name a song, i've got it. whether it's -- >> "didn't i blow your mind this time?" >> i've got jay-z on there. i've got -- [ cheers and applause ] i've got frank sinatra on there. i've got -- >> justin bieber? >> i've got maria callas on there. i do not have justin bieber on there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do not have justin bieber.
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do not have justin bieber. it's a mistake, president obama. you're not a be-lieber. [ laughter ] this next clip is of a local news anchor describing some of the airline fees that are out there. and at one point, he mentions a fee that i wasn't aware of. >> jetblue charges $10 for additional leg room. airtran -- $6 to get an advanced seat assignment, along with $20 for exit-row seats. and most airlines charge for sex -- snacks, excuse me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: most of them do. some don't. some don't charge. most airlines do charge for sex -- snacks -- sex. this next one is pretty awesome, too. this is from shop at home tv. this pitch guy is selling his digital camera, and he's trying to show how great the pictures look when they blow up. when you blow them up on a printer. so, he thinks he's holding a
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picture of a horse, but he's not. and he never actually looks at the picture. just watch. take a look. >> that picture -- remember the picture of the horse i showed you earlier? well, here it is, blown up. [ laughter ] it's a big horse. look at that horse. [ laughter ] the bushy tail, the big teeth, the hooves -- okay, my producer tara cates just told me this isn't a horse, it's butterfly. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: "yeah. turns out -- yeah, my producer told me it's not a horse, it's a butterfly. whatever. what's the big deal? see the teeth here and the hair and the hooves there? huh? it's not horse? it's a butterfly. whatever." that really makes me laugh. oh, my gosh. this last clip is an old commercial from the seventies. it's for a company that still exists that makes boat motors -- outboard motors. but here's the thing you have to know -- the name of the motor company is "johnson motors." take a look.
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♪ you got your sunrise you caught a prize you, your mate and your johnson ♪ ♪ party nights summer whites you, your friends and your johnson ♪ ♪ rooster tails water trails you, your kids and your johnson ♪ ♪ saturday nights distant lights you, your girl and your johnson ♪ >> you and your johnson -- a way of life for over 50 years. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they probably knew what the joke was -- i don't know if they did, right? who knows? it's so old. i want to see it again. can we just show that one more time? [ laughter ] ♪ you got your sunrise you caught a prize you, your mate and your johnson ♪ ♪ party nights summer whites you, your friends and your johnson ♪ ♪ rooster tails water trails you, your kids and your johnson ♪
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♪ saturday nights distant lights you, your girl and your johnson ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> you and your johnson -- a way of life for over 50 years. >> jimmy: all right, those are the clips we have today. questlove, let's see what you can do with them, buddy. >> questlove: all right. ♪ ♪ first couple songs first couple songs the first couple songs on your ipod? ♪ ♪ i've got -- horse horse ♪ ♪ i've got -- horse i've got -- horse ♪ ♪ horse horse horse horse ♪ ♪ i've got -- sex i've got -- horse ♪ ♪ i've got -- horse sex i've got -- ♪ ♪ i've got -- sex i've got -- i've got -- ♪ ♪ johnson johnson i've got -- johnson ♪ ♪ i've got -- horse johnson i've got -- ♪ ♪ johnson johnson horse ♪ ♪ johnson horse johnson johnson ♪
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♪ i've got -- sex -- snacks, excuse me ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sex -- snacks. give it up for questlove, everybody. right there! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ johnson johnson ♪ swipe your card please. excuse me...? this belongs to you... you. excuse me... this is yours... thank you! you're welcome. with chase freedom you can get a total of 5% cash back in your pocket. fun money from freedom. this is yours! thank you! what? that's 5% cash back in quarterly bonus categories all year long. does your card do this? sign up for this quarter's bonus today. chase what matters. go to
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what's on the schedule for today? >> 10:00 staff meeting, 1:00 drinks with clients, and tonight, you'll be hosting the emmy awards. [ coughs ] ♪ there's tobacco all in my mouth. [ coughs ] oh, man, in the back of throat. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ladies and gentlemen, neil young. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ double rainbow double rainbow double rainbow all the way ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's so intense whoa, my god it's full on, man! ♪ ♪ double rainbow across the sky ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what does this mean, yeah? oh, my god, man double rainbow all the way whoa oh, man! ♪ ♪ whoa, my god, wow
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double rainbow across the sky ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ it's starting to look like it's starting to look like it's starting to look like a triple rainbow ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what does this mean, yeah? oh, my god, man
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double rainbow all the way it's so beautiful ♪ ♪ right in my front yard, man! double rainbow whoa ho ho ♪ ♪ what does it mean? what does it mean? ♪ >> jimmy: thanks. [ cheers and applause ] boss: our breakout session is gonna be great. got the gecko t-shirt... "4 million drivers switched!" gecko water bottle... notebook... chamois... gecko: sir, i feel a little bit uncomfortable with all... you know... with all this. i mean, it's not about me. should be about how geico's the third-largest car insurance company in the nation. things like that.
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boss: oh, of course! we're not gonna get carried away. gecko: uh...yeah... all right as long as we don't overdo it. vo: geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.
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i'm doing a semester in germany, getting some culture. but, what i'm not getting is their humor. kevin: so i had this idea. what if i could get the videos on my pc back home and play them here... idealized kevin: good old deutschland. kevin: suddenly with windows 7, i can do just that. now that's funny. vo: buy the asus bamboo laptop at and get a $150 gift card. kevin: i'm a pc. and windows 7, my idea.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is one of the best selling hip hop artists of the past decade, as well as an esteemed actor and hugely successful business entrepreneur. his new film is called "twelve." it's in theaters august 6th. put it together for curtis jackson, aka 50 cent! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: thanks for coming back to the show. how are you? >> i'm happy to be back, man. >> jimmy: oh, good, it's good. you look great. we gotta talk about all the things that you got going on. you got tons of things happening. >> yeah, i've been working. >> jimmy: yeah, one is -- we got these photos that you tweeted out of you doing a movie. look at -- you got real skinny. >> yeah, yeah. "things fall apart." it's a film project myself, mario van peebles, lynn whitfield and ray liotta. >> jimmy: how much did you weigh here? >> 160 pounds. >> jimmy: and how much do you normally weigh? >> like, 214. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: wow. how did you do this? >> i'm gonna give you a real scientific way to explain this. [ light laughter ] i was starving. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? just not eating? >> yeah, i was on liquids for about nine weeks to achieve the transformation. >> jimmy: really? and did you work out too, on top of that? >> yeah, i was doing cardio, i
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was running. i started running and then -- my energy levels started to drop, so i was just speed-walking. i was on an incline. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. now, what is this role? what is this movie? >> well, i play a heisman hopeful, that -- it's a family film about the disappointment and anticipation of success and a person focusing on their physical abilities and not concentrating on their academics at school. >> jimmy: really? and then, what happens to your character? >> well, he dies of cancer. >> jimmy: wow. >> it's a really -- it's a relevant topic, considering one out of eight people in the world die of cancer, topping tuberculosis, malaria and hiv all together. >> jimmy: wow. and this is -- they stopped filming so that you could lose all this weight. >> yeah, they generally don't stop filming unless you're tom hanks or like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, 'cause it's a big deal -- yeah. >> or like de niro, "raging bull." >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. yeah, he gained all that weight, yeah. but they just stopped it for
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you? >> well, i persuaded them. [ laughter ] you know, i needed -- i really wanted to do the role. i was excited about it and, you know, i kind of talked them into it. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i mean -- and then they just stopped and you lost all the weight and they were happy with the results -- >> they got really happy, and things are going my way. i don't know how this happened. like, i fell, hit my head and woke up lucky. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i mean, 'cause you -- you have a production company, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's called "cheetah vision." >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's a great title. that's a great name, yeah. like cat eyes. that was the other one? did you have any second or third names -- choice for names? >> "eagle vision," but the eagles -- the rock band would have sued me. [ laughter ] and i -- >> jimmy: people think it's like what don henley sees. yeah, yeah, exactly. yeah. you have the cheetah vision, yeah. >> yeah, i had to change it. >> jimmy: i like that, though. you have that movie, then you also, like, underneath that, you wrote a movie called "gun." >> yeah, it's actually premiering in the latin film festival tomorrow. >> jimmy: this is crazy.
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so wait -- you're acting, you're producing, you're writing? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you wrote a movie? [ cheers and applause ] that's crazy cool. good luck on that. and we have to -- we should talk about "twelve." >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is a great movie. joel schumacher directed it. >> yeah, he's a great director. you know, i had chance to work with some really good directors. i worked with jim sheridan. i worked with irwin winkler -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i had an opportunity to work with joel. he's what attracted me to the project, actually, and when i got there -- >> jimmy: he's phenomenal. >> i didn't have the opportunity to be off-book, so i wasn't completely prepared. i went in there. before i got there, i was like, "man, what am i gonna say?" [ laughter ] you know, i was -- >> jimmy: you just making up lines? >> i just went in there. i said, "you know what i'm gonna try? let me see if i can hustle my way into this." >> jimmy: and you did it? >> yeah, i told him. i said, "now, you think some -- i really know this character, joel. like, you know, when you start talking about selling drugs, i did it." i started trying to figure out ways to say things that might make some sense to him and he looked at me and he kind of saw right through the -- you know that. >> jimmy: were you making up -- were you making up words and stuff? >> yeah, so i just changed my approach and just said, "you know, i really want to do this. please." [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: yeah, that works, that works. [ cheers and applause ] now, it's called "twelve" because "twelve" is this drug in the movie that all the kids are getting into now. >> right. >> jimmy: it's like the hot drug. and so you're a -- you play dealer with chace crawford? how does it work? or he's the dealer? >> yeah, he's actually the bridge between the socialites and midtown manhattan and harlem. you know, so -- like, for me, my character is the darkest character in the actual screenplay -- he has a resentment towards them for having everything given to them, and, you know -- it's really interesting. >> jimmy: is it pretty authentic to you, like -- are you -- since you -- i mean, you -- >> well, no it's a totally different -- it's different from anything i've experienced. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, the circumstances -- there's at scene in the film that's so dark, that -- there's like a young girl -- she's like a teenage girl. she's willing to give away her virginity in exchange for the actual drug, and i've never done
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anything that dark. >> jimmy: no, that's crazy. >> you know. >> jimmy: but you were -- you used to deal drugs? >> yeah, i did. >> jimmy: really? >> did you ever use any drugs? >> jimmy: no, did i ever -- [ laughter ] no. is that weird? absolutely. >> if you say so. 'cause usually, really funny people have little habits. [ laughter ] like little habits. you know? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, no. no. i always think like, going in there, people must be coming up to you, going like, "no, this is --" asking, "is this how to do it?" or, "is this the way you do it?" and you go, "yeah." >> well, the drug i kind of -- the actual drug twelve, the way they made it fell in the actual screenplay is like a liquid form of acid, like the very beginning of acid. what they described it as. you know, i have no experience in using it but -- you know, the things that i heard about it -- it kind of reminded me of that, and i talked to joel about it and he said, "it's pretty close." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. we have a clip of the movie. here's a clip of 50 cent in the movie "twelve."
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>> hey, yo, there she is, up ahead. this is lionel. >> hi, jessica. >> how much? >> $1,000. here. >> get that -- out of my face, man. what the -- is wrong with you. >> let's walk. >> ball it up in the palm of your hand. >> so, lionel, i was thinking maybe i can get your number and then we could just -- you know, it'd be easier if we just went direct next time. >> no. your girl blanco here'll hooks us up. start steppin', bitch. >> all right. >> bitch gonna ask for the number. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. we'll be right back with more 50 cent, everybody. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ takes a special kinda loco to pass...initiation.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. we're back with the great 50 cent. he stars alongside chace crawford and emma roberts in "twelve," a new film opening august 6th. we -- you have so many things going on. we could talk for hours. but the one thing i should talk about is g-unity. >> yeah.
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the foundation is great. like, i established it in 2004. and, you know, it's a way for me to actually give back to some of the low income communities. and i developed the "forever young day" in my actual neighborhood, where i get kids to come out, be physically active. 'cause the things that i was excited about growing up don't even exist anymore. like, there's not so much organized sports going on down there. it's a lot more video games and -- on the computer a lot. they on "this is" but, you know. that was, like, a shameless plug. >> jimmy: no, it wasn't -- [ laughter ] yeah, yeah, you stuck that one in there. like, you'll set up like -- is it a playground or -- >> no, no, it's taking a really big part out there, and i had to get it off -- they had me -- they made me spend a lot money, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, they did. yeah. you spent a lot of money on that. [ laughter ] >> they made me, like, gate off the whole -- 'cause i said i was coming, they -- i had to pay the cops extra. i said, "i thought the cops was already being paid." [ laughter ] you know what im saying? like, why i gotta pay them to stop by? >> jimmy: just pay them again. >> yeah. i expect special treatment.
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> i do. i pay special taxes. [ laughter ] when they come tax time, they take special amounts of money from me. i need special treatment, please. let me go at the red light. [ laughter ] you know, like, i should have just a little something. >> jimmy: just a little something for all the money you pay, yeah. yeah, you should -- red lights should mean nothing to you. >> it should mean green. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] red means green. >> i could always be there on time because i ain't got to worry about that. >> jimmy: speaking of cars, you design -- or you helped design the sound system with jbl and pontiac. you helped -- look at this thing. >> yeah, the g-8. >> jimmy: look at that thing. [ cheers and applause ] >> that looks hot, right? >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> they made me tell everybody that was my car. [ laughter ] and then, they didn't even give me the car. [ laughter ] you know, at the end of the whole deal, i said, "what happened to my car, man?" and they was like -- you know, i mean, they got a bailout and everything and didn't even throw me a little something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when the bailout went
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through, they took that money. they have the car. give 50 his car back. come on. >> we gonna start protesting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we got to take this so you can go through red lights. >> this is special, though. they put, like, 500 horsepower in there and like the -- they had, like, the trans am engine in it. >> jimmy: really? >> it was rear wheel drive. i spun it around a couple times. >> jimmy: but that was it? then you can't -- they said it was yours -- >> then they took it. >> jimmy: and it's not even yours. >> then they took it, man. >> jimmy: they took it back. we gotta get you your car back. that's one thing we gotta get. but we also have to talk about too -- you have books? >> yeah, g-unit books. >> jimmy: what is going on? [ laughter ] g-unit books? this is unbelievable. >> yeah, i was motivated by a book set. it's called "donald goines." "donald goines" is the book set. and it had, like, slang in it in the way the actual writing was. and it would maintain like -- me, personally, too. because the slang was in it, it would hold my interest longer. i would complete the book fast because i got into it, like i felt like somebody in the environment that i grew up in was talking to me. >> jimmy: right, right.
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>> you know, instead of some of the -- you know. >> jimmy: yeah, charles dickens. you don't really relate to dickens as much, yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's a little difficult. you gotta read twice. i gotta read the page of the -- [ laughter ] i got you, charles. know what i'm saying? but -- >> jimmy: "i got you, charles." yeah, yeah. i think we should go into business together on something. >> we should. plus you got this -- the show. we can have product placement. we can sell "late night" jimmy mugs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right? >> you mind if i have some of your water? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, please, you -- of course you can have some of my water. absolutely. it's straight vodka, by the way. yeah, it's -- no, yeah. >> i thought you said you didn't use drugs, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: something is good in there. it's pretty good. i have a couple ideas. i have a couple ideas. i have one idea -- i have two ideas. maybe you can shoot them down. one is called "pool stool." yeah. [ light laughter ] we might have to change the name, but what you do is you put -- [ laughter ] they're just stools that are weighted that you put in a pool, in case you want to sit in the pool and hang out. >> oh, inside the pool? >> jimmy: yeah, i want to sit in the water. right? no? >> i think we can make it work.
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we just need, like, one of them infomercials. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and they see me and you are like in the pool, like. we get some girls. we can do that like -- >> jimmy: "hey, what are you sitting on? nothing?" >> "i'm sitting on a pool stool." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and so can you, for $19.95 a month -- for six months. you can get a pool stool. the other idea. you remember -- know paul, the octopus that made all the guesses for the world cup? did you hear about this? >> i did. >> jimmy: how about this? "magic 8-paul." and it's a magic 8-ball. you just paint an octopus on it. you shake it up and flip it on its underside. and then, paul tells you predictions. okay, let's go with pool stool. [ laughter ] let's go with pool stool. we'll do the infomercial work. >> we can do that though. we just gotta sell it, like, on the -- on the airplane. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i know what you're talking about. "skymall magazine"? >> yeah. [ laughter ] then you'll be right there with the thing. >> jimmy: yeah, with the 8-ball, your prediction, right like to like a tempur-pedic mattress that holds your wine glass and a bowling ball. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. right next to that.
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>> i think we could sell anything we could put on this desk, right here, where they can see it constantly. i'm finna sell this mug. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, we're sell this mug. we can track the sales of this mug and see if it goes up. i know it will. >> you gotta put this on ebay. >> jimmy: now that 50 -- there it is, right there. we'll do it. i think you just made me five bucks. i love it. [ cheers and applause ] curtis jackson, aka 50 cent. we'll be right back with lucy punch! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ beep ] ♪ ♪ [ applause ] [ glasses clink ] ♪ [ male announcer ] the nation's fastest mobile broadband network. at&t. rethink possible.
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i'm fred lemond, and i'm in charge of bp's efforts to remove oil from these waters. bp has taken full responsibility for the cleanup and that includes keeping you informed. you may have heard that oil is no longer flowing into the gulf, but our spotter planes and helicopters will keep searching for any oil. we use satellite images, infrared and thermal photography to map and target the oil. we're finding less oil every day, but we've still got thousands of vessels ready to clean it up. local shrimp and fishing boats, organized into task forces and strike teams. plus, specialized skimmers from around the world. we've skimmed over 35 million gallons of oil/water mixture and removed millions more with other methods. i grew up on the gulf coast and i love these waters. as long as there's oil out there that could make it ashore, i'm gonna do everything i can to stop it. bp's commitment is that we will see this through. and we'll be here as long as it takes to clean up the gulf.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is just is having a great, great, great year. she has recently done movies with woody allen and cameron diaz. and she just steals about every scene opposite paul rudd and steve carell in the very funny "dinner for schmucks." please welcome the lovely and talented lucy punch, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you beat me to the punch you beat me to the punch you beat me to the punch you beat me to the punch ♪ >> jimmy: very pretty. thank you so much for coming on. it was very nice. >> of course, thank you. >> jimmy: punch. lucy punch. very english. >> is it very english? i suppose punch and judy. >> jimmy: yeah, right? do you know any other punches? i don't know any other punches. >> i don't know any. people always think i made my name up. >> jimmy: really? >> why would i choose punch? i would choose something glamorous and sexy and french. >> jimmy: yeah, punch sounds like an american gladiator. but with you, it's very pretty and nice actress.
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you're a very funny actress, as well. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: you are great in the movie. now, you grew up in london and live in l.a. now. >> yes, i do. i moved here four years ago. i like it, but it's very different to life in london. >> jimmy: really? >> the driving and all the -- and they do -- when you go for a walk, if you say you are going for a walk in l.a., it has to be a hike. "do you want to go on a hike?" i was like, "i don't have the boots and the stick and the outfit." it's just a stroll. but it's called, in l.a., if you got for a walk, it's a hike. >> jimmy: they call it a hike, yeah. but it's just walking. >> and all the driving. when i moved there, i didn't drive, which was moronic because you have to drive in l.a. so, i began to go to auditions walking. i thought, "fine, i'm just going to walk." so, i would be two hours late and completely -- >> jimmy: you have to drive everywhere in l.a.
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>> and my makeup is on my chest. i have my face on my chest. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: two eyes and lipstick. >> very attractive and invariably the audition was a disaster. and then, of course they always ask you if you want parking validation. so i would be shuffling out of the room, so depressed. and they're like, "do you need validation?" i'm like, "yes, i do! [ laughter ] i haven't worked for six months. i'm the only person in l.a. without a car!" >> jimmy: now it's all taking off. >> it is. no, it's great now. >> jimmy: at one point, i heard you might be a teacher in spain. at one point? >> yes. a year ago, i had a year where i didn't work, which was kind of scary and demoralizing. and i'm sitting on my sofa in l.a. feeling sorry for myself. and i think, "i'll phone my mother. she'll cheer me up."
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and she had been looking into courses for teaching english as a foreign language in barcelona. >> jimmy: that's nice of her. >> yeah, thank you. i wanted her to say, "keep going. it's gonna work out." >> jimmy: "i believe in you. >> "i believe in you. you're so talented." >> jimmy: "you should be a teacher." >> "maybe you should be a teacher." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "switch careers, please." >> also she said a podiatrist. >> jimmy: a foot doctor. [ light laughter ] >> people always need podiatrists. i don't even like my own feet. >> jimmy: but then you have this woody allen movie. >> yes. >> jimmy: how did this come about? this was exciting. >> it was very exciting. well, i auditioned and i got a call saying woody wants to meet you. and i bought my ticket. and the night before i was supposed to leave, i got this call from my manager saying, "cancel it. he cast someone else. he has given the part away." i was like, "who? so angry." and i find out it was nicole kidman. so i said, "fair enough.
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i get it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, it happens. >> and she pulled out, and i got it. so they went in a slightly different direction. >> jimmy: cool. that's fantastic. >> i know. it was very, very exciting. >> jimmy: you went out with your mom to the cannes film festival. this is a great mom story. your mom is excited. now she's proud of you again. >> she so proud of me. and now she thinks i don't need to be a teacher anymore. she is terribly excited, and we're all there, and it was a terribly boozy trip. drinking so much champagne which is always fun. we had the big screening, and my mother is terribly excited. she was weeping. and we get to a fancy party, and it's just like a room full of famous people. my mother is pretty fabulous and can handle her own. so she's like, "i'm just going to mingle." and i see her 15 minutes later and said, "what have you been doing?" she went, "wow." her name is joanna lowe and she
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had a company. her maiden name is lowe. called j-lowe associates. she took it upon herself to go up to jennifer lopez and say, "hey, i was the first j-lo, by the way. so you stole my name." and i was like, "what did she say?" she was like, "i don't think she understood." i was like, "no, she didn't. we've had enough. it's done. enough fun. no more cocktails." >> jimmy: my mom came to all the "saturday night live" things on another show beside this, and she would come to all of those shows. she comes to this show all the time. sits in the audience. she was backstage and she goes, "oh, my god, i ran into michael mcdonald." i go, "you did? where?" she goes, "outside of his dressing room." [ laughter ] "oh, yeah, funny you would run into him there. stop stalking michael mcdonald!" let's talk about "dinner for schmucks." very, very funny movie. explain your character. >> i play a stalker. >> jimmy: a stalker, a crazy stalker lady. >> i play a psychotic, sex maniac stalker.
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>> jimmy: yes. >> it wasn't a stretch. no, it was. [ laughter ] and i'm stalking paul rudd's character who is just doing his best to get away from me the whole time. it's a completely over the top part, and i was sort of all over steve and paul, licking their faces. >> jimmy: licking them? >> yes, a lot of licking. there are worse people to lick. i wasn't complaining, but it was more unpleasant for them. >> jimmy: it's very funny. you got so many good laughs in the movie. i have a clip from the movie "dinner for schmucks." here's lucy punch. >> i'm a naughty little school girl! >> you look a little old to be a school girl. >> don't you want to be my school teacher? >> i'm not qualified. i work for the irs. [ laughter ] >> you work for the irs, and i have been very, very bad! >> have you heard from julie by chance?
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>> i need to be spanked now! >> well, that's really not the way it works. you probably just have to pay the difference plus interest. [ laughter ] >> i want you to spank me real hard! spank me hard, barry! ow! [ laughter ] ow! oh, yeah! oh, barry! ooh yeah! oh, barry! ♪ oh, barry! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: in theaters everywhere tomorrow! lucy punch, everybody! of montreal performs next. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ man ] i was deciding what to do
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with my citi thankyou points when it happened... [ glass breaks ] ...again. ♪ [ child ] run! [ man ] first it was the mailbox. then my squirrel. and now, this. so i used my points to make a donation to get the park down the street built. when it finally opened, i also used my points for... car repair. [ male announcer ] use your citi thankyou points for almost anything, even local charities. what's your story? citi can help you write it.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got an awesome show tomorrow night. the always funny paul rudd will be here. [ cheers and applause ] from the popular show "my boys," the lovely jordana spiro is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have music from green day, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i'm so excited. i'll see you back here tomorrow night.
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but first, our next guests are one of the most unique bands is around. their new album "false priest" isn't out until september 14th, but tonight we have an early preview with the song "sex karma." here to perform it, with a little help from solange knowles, please welcome of montreal! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i believe we're moving on up your sex karma must be good ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm funny for you ♪
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♪ ain't nobody do me better when you hit me i'm a cloud baby, i'm a cloud ♪ ♪ i feel my power is flickering with you it's strange electronic reactions ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ i know that you want to swing run and touch my everything 'cause i look like ♪ ♪ a playground to you player ♪ ♪ close your eyes and count to three i'll kiss you where i shouldn't be ♪ ♪ 'cause you look like a playground to me player you are my only luxury item ♪ ♪ anyone try to steal you i'll fight em' oh oh ♪ ♪ let's go play some hide and seek ♪ ♪ i know you are a little freak you look like a playground to me ♪ ♪ player
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♪ i was afraid to call you up ♪ ♪ 'cause you were really hard to fly on our first try ♪ ♪ you took me centuries to master in the next life i will have to learn you faster ♪ ♪ i'm not a diamond so you'll flatter 'cause we're not slaves to physical matter ♪ ♪ i know that you want to swing run and touch my everything 'cause i look like ♪ ♪ a playground to you player ♪ ♪ close your eyes and count to three i'll kiss you where i shouldn't be ♪ ♪ 'cause you look like a playground to me player ♪
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♪ you are my only luxury item ♪ ♪ anyone try to steal you i'll fight 'em ♪ ♪ oh, let's go play some hide and seek i know you are a little freak you look like ♪ ♪ a playground to me player yeah, you look like a playground to me ♪ ♪ you look like a playground to me you look like a playground to me ♪ ♪ you look like a playground to me oh, oh to me ♪ ♪ you look like a playground to me oh you look like ♪ ♪ a playground to me
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close your eyes and count to three i'll kiss you ♪ ♪ where i shouldn't be ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: of montreal with solange knowles! thank you, my friend. check out the album. in september, go to for an exclusive bonus performance. my thanks to 50 cent, lucy punch. of montreal, solange knowles! and the greatest band in late night, the roots right there, everybody. stay tuned for "carson daly." have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪


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