tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC May 5, 2012 12:35am-1:35am EDT
and jimmy fallon happening [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow! that's beautiful. beautiful new york city crowd. thank you, guys. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon", everybody. we're going to have a fun show tonight. i know that for a fact. we have some huge, huge business news. i heard this. it was just announced that more than 330 million shares of facebook stock will be sold later this month. it's great. now you can own a piece of the website that completely owns you. [ laughter ] big weekend. tomorrow is cinco de mayo and the kentucky derby, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] yep, or as stupid hats call it, go time. [ laughter ] yeah, it's both cinco de mayo and the kentucky derby, so if you want to combine your love of mexico and your love of horses, just order a burrito at taco bell. [ audience ohs ]
and then you just get in there -- you run for the border. >> steve: two birds. >> jimmy: numero dos. >> steve: you beat me to it! >> jimmy: i know. i did the joke in my head. i got it. i do want to try that -- do they have that dorito taco thing? >> steve: oh, yeah -- >> jimmy: is that out yet? >> audience: yeah! >> jimmy: you guys have had it? how is it? does it make you run for the border? [ laughter ] i have to get one of those things. >> steve: or does it make you get the runs at the border? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i heard that the early favorites for the kentucky derby to win is a horse named bodemeister. bodemeister? that doesn't sound like a prize-winning horse. [ light laughter ] sounds like the guy who sneaks the keg into the frat house. "like, bodemeister came through! thanks, brother! [ scattered applause ] lift me up." hey, you guys, you hear about this?
"the bachelor" host chris harrison is separating from his wife after 18 years of marriage. [ audience ohs ] it was a weird breakup. she was like, "chris, will you accept this trash bag filled with your clothes?" [ laughter ] it happens. you guys, today is "star wars" day -- [ scattered cheers ] -- because of the pun, "may the fourth be with you." [ laughter ] i feel like i regained my virginity just by telling you that. [ laughter ] hey, guys, check this out. a woman from canada broke a world record by riding a motorized toilet -- [ light laughter ] -- at 46 miles per hour. [ laughter ] witnesses were pretty surprised, but not as surprised as the woman who thought she was sitting on a regular toilet. she was like, "what am i doing? all i ordered was the numero dos!" [ laughter ] i beat you to it! >> steve: you beat me to it! >> jimmy: i knew you were going to say it. i knew you were going to say that.
hey, some movie news. "the avengers" made $18.7 million in midnight screenings alone last night. yeah, which explains why this morning, the entire geek squad at best buy called in sick. [ laughter ] i was wondering what was going on. and finally, everyone is talking about this. a woman from new jersey is being called tanorexic -- [ audience groans ] -- because she's addicted to tanning. take a look at this photo there. [ audience ohs ] yeah, she -- health experts are calling her a cautionary tale, while snooki is calling her the chosen one. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys. just a reminder. we have a new comedy album coming out june 12th called "blow your pants off." [ laughter ] there it is right there. and -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: sticker shock. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, that sticker does not come with the record. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: you buy the record it's -- >> steve: -- sticker? >> jimmy: it's super moon. [ light laughter ] >> steve: it's like a full lunar event? >> jimmy: yes, a lunar event, yeah. but we had a bunch of great songs, and they're very funny. all comedy songs. amazing guest artists -- bruce springsteen, justin timberlake, dave mathews, eddie vedder, paul mccartney. they're all on this record. it comes out june 12th. [ cheers and applause ] there it is there. "blow your pants off." it's available for pre-order right now. order right now, just go to blowyourpantsoff.com. [ laughter and applause ] ♪
check this out. we're going to talk about this more next week, but i'm just going to reveal it tonight. >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: "thank you notes 2." >> steve: oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i can't talk about it. i can't even talk about this because there's enough to talk about. but it's killer. >> steve: number two. >> jimmy: this one makes music. >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: i'm not going to talk about it. we have a great show tonight, you guys. oh, the ladies love this guy. from "castle," nathan fillion is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] they going bonkers for that guy. he is a hilarious cast member from "saturday night live." taran killam is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] also tonight, from nbc's "parks & recreation," a talented and funny, funny lady. retta is on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and we got some great, great music from kathleen edwards, everybody. i cannot wait! [ cheers and applause ] a beautiful voice. >> steve: a beautiful show. >> jimmy: guys, today's friday and that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff.
i check my inbox. i return some emails and, of course, i send out "thank you notes." [ cheers and applause ] i'm running a bit behind today. i was wondering, could i write out some "thank you notes" right now? do you guys mind? is that cool? [ cheers and applause ] thank you guys so much. i appreciate it. roots, can i get some "thank you note" writing music? ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, no. it's an invisible partner. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's the altitude up there. i don't know what's going on. ♪ [ laughter ] that's a little powerful. >> steve: yeah. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, the kentucky derby, for making horse racing fans look like extras from "the hunger games." [ laughter ] ♪
thank you, people who greet you by saying, "hey, buddy," for really meaning, "hey, guy, whose name i don't remember." [ laughter ] "it actually is buddy." ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, the lifetime network, for adopting the new slogan, "your life, your time" instead of, "you're crying, you're eating a carton of ice cream, you're alone in front of the tv." [ laughter and applause ] i like the other one better. >> steve: the other one's too long. yeah. >> jimmy: a little long, yeah. but i like it. [ applause ] [ sobs ] [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, the coach leather store. you've done such a good job creating leather bags and wallets that you've now created an actual woman. [ laughter and applause ] what? look how happy she is.
she's in a great mood. can you put her face on my face? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hey! ♪ shut up! >> steve: move your eyes and blink. there you go. blink. there you go! >> jimmy: shut up! [ laughter ] >> steve: you're fat and stupid! >> jimmy: all right, all right. she's a nice lady. >> steve: she looks like a troll doll. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you -- [ laughter ] did you say she looks like a troll doll? [ laughter ] that's not nice. >> steve: that's not nice. >> jimmy: no, she's -- she's very cute, though. >> steve: yeah, she's very fair.
you love pleather. >> jimmy: i do. ♪ thank you, wedding registries that let me buy one plate, fork, knife and spoon, for letting me send the message that i only want one of you to eat. [ laughter ] >> steve: you sent that to fat gary, didn't you? ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, private browsing feature on google chrome, for not going by your other name, porno browsing. [ laughter ] i want to keep this private. >> steve: yeah, private. ♪ my private browser [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, sporks -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ all right, all right. ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, sporks, for being a
spoon that porked a fork so it could scoop some soup and poke some pork. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: is that like a pneumatic tube go straight to the museum. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, party glasses that you get at bubba gump shrimp, for getting me drunk and giving me a seizure at the same time. [ laughter ] i appreciate that. that's a -- ♪ thank you, chest hair, for not being called boob pubes. [ laughter ] those are my "thank you notes," everybody! we'll be right back with more "late night!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey guys, there's actually one more "thank you
note," and this is a serious one. adam yauch of
the beastie boys passed away today. he was a huge influence on me and millions of people around the world. he was a great performer, director, father, humanitarian and new yorker. the whole night -- [ applause ] i love him. the whole night the roots are going to be playing beastie boys songs in and out of commercials and here's a clip from when adam and his fellow beastie boys performed on our show. thank you, m.c.a. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ but little do you know about something that i talk about i'm tired of driving ♪ ♪ it's due time that i walk about but in the meantime i'm wise to the demise ♪ ♪ i've got eyes in the back of my head so i realize well i'm dr. spock ♪ ♪ i'm here to rock y'all i want you off the wall if you're playing this wall so what'cha what'cha ♪ ♪ what'cha want i said what'cha what'cha what'cha want y'all suckers write me checks and then they bounce ♪ ♪ so i reach into my pocket for the fresh amount ♪ ♪ see i'm the long leaner victor the cleaner i'm the illest ♪ ♪ from here to gardena
i'm as cool as a cucumber in a
bowl of hot sauce ♪ ♪ you've got the rhyme and reason but no cause so if you're hot to trot ♪ ♪ you think you're slicker than grease i've got news for you crews you'll be sucking ♪ ♪ like a leach i said what'cha what'cha what'cha want ♪ ♪ i said what'cha what'cha what'cha want i said what'cha what'cha what'cha want ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ bell dings ] we're pressed for time so here it is. i'm looking for the one. kids, house, the whole domestic thing, you know? then why does your relationship status say, "never getting married"? hmm... that was the old me. it says you updated it 15 minutes ago. yes...yup... yeah that was before i met you. favorite pickup line: "nothing mattered before i met you." ha...oh...that's... why did i put that... [ male announcer ] only at&t's 4g network lets your iphone download three times faster. at&t. ♪
any day can have a magnum mini moment. magnum ice cream, now in a mini size. new magnum mini. let's see what you got. rv -- covered. why would you pay for a hotel? i never do. motorcycles -- check. atv. i ride those. do you? no. boat. house. hello, dear. hello. hello. oh! check it -- [ loud r&b on car radio ] i'm going on break! the more you bundle, the more you save. now, that's progressive. you get a 50% annual bonus. and everyone likes 50% more cash -- well, except her. no! but, i'm about to change that. ♪ every little baby wants 50% more cash... ♪ phhht! fine, you try. [ strings breaking, wood splintering ]
>> jimmy: thank you so much for being here, buddy. >> i love that steam you have. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: you can't beat the roots, yeah. nobody beats the roots. >> i feel pretty cool right now. >> jimmy: oh, come on. well, you are very cool. thank you for coming on our show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i know you are from canada, correct? >> born and raised. >> jimmy: born and raised, canada. [ cheers ] what part of canada? >> edmonton, alberta. >> jimmy: is that right? [ cheers ] >> yeah, kind of midwest, north-ish. >> jimmy: yeah. if no one's watching -- listening to the show, they just see you do this. [ laughter ] very interesting story. but you -- hey, no, no, don't do it anymore, yeah. [ laughter ] but you came to new york first when you lived in america, right? >> yeah, i moved here in 1994. i spent three years here. i was doing a soap opera. i was doing "one life to live." >> jimmy: ah, that's what i'm talking about. "one life to live." >> i had a great time. i was very concerned, though, when i first moved here, jimmy. it was january 27th, 1994. and there was about four to six inches of snow on the ground. and the city was in a state of panic.
people were dropping dead upstate from shoveling snow. and where i come from, it was three feet deep. and i just though, "these people are not going to make it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: three inches! >> i'm going to be -- i'm going to be like kevin costner in a post-apocalyptic manhattan. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm the only man that can survive in four inches of snow! [ light laughter ] i don't have a kevin costner impersonation, clearly. [ laughter ] i was doing nicolas cage. i don't know what i was doing. is your family still in canada? >> yeah, everybody's still up there having a good time in the snow. >> jimmy: are they enjoying the hollywood lifestyle? >> you know, it's not very their reality nor is it mine for that matter. i just -- i call them all the time and i tell them all about it. i just had my dad -- my dad came to visit me. i brought my dad down just recently. and it was just -- it was last week we went to the "desperate housewives" wrap party. i was just, "hey, i've got this party. let's go. let's go. let's get dressed up and let's go." >> jimmy: fun to take your parents out. >> and it's a great time. when we get there, they have a red carpet. i said, "okay, perfect. come on. pop, come on. let's do the red carpet. you and me, we're going to do the red carpet."
he's like, "i don't know what to do. i don't know what to do." when i first started doing red carpets, i didn't -- if you don't -- you get on the red carpet, there's a bank of photographers, and they're all ready to take your picture. and it's all of the flash. pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. and they say, "look over here! look over here! no, look to your right! look to your left! look over here! look over here!" it's like they're mad at you. [ laughter ] it's like, "whoa, whoa, why are you all yelling at me? why --" and i realize if you're talking to them while they're taking your picture, your picture's like this. [ laughter ] it's all these kind of goofy faces. so i've developed a system. you get out there. you strike a pose. you start on the right. you go to the next guy, the next guy, the next guy. so i tell my dad -- i said, "come on. it's a piece of cake. all you got to do is look at the guy on the right, and then we'll slowly work our away across. let's start on the right." he goes, "okay, okay, okay." and he scans the whole thing. i'm like, "no, no. they're going to take a little longer. so you got to give the first guy, like, four seconds." he's goes, "okay, okay, okay." [ laughter ] i'm go, "no, pop, it's you -- let's start on the right. start on the guy in the black shirt." he's like, "uh-huh, good." [ laughter ]
so now, these pictures come out on the internet, and it's me and my dad standing there on the red carpet and all my pictures are like this -- [ laughter ] and his are all -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: dad! yeah! i love it! score. score for dad. so, "castle" wrapped for this season. you got a little summertime vacation, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what do -- anything planned? what do you like to do in the summertime? >> los angeles is a city where you have to kind of endeavor to bring your friends unto you, you know? you can just walk out in the street and they're everywhere. >> jimmy: -- it's a large city, yeah. >> it's a huge city, so you have to bring them on. so, i like game nights. i like having barbecues. i got a nice backyard kind of suitable for barbecues. i've got this recipe for greek ribs. it takes four hours to cook these things, but they're so good. >> jimmy: wait, wait. talk to me about this. >> let's talk about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, are you talking about marinating them in yogurt? >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] no, no, not yogurt. olive oil, some lemon juice,
some salt, pepper, oregano. its very simple. marinate overnight. and then, you slow cook them for four hours. i got a friend, colton, he's got this recipe for chicken wings that are so good. so, we kind of jockey for space on the barbecue like this, like that. we have a big party. there's going to be some vegetarians there, some vegan-type people. >> jimmy: that's l.a. >> so you grab -- >> jimmy: that's los angeles. yeah, yeah, yeah. bound to happen. >> you grab the veggie patties and we throw on the veggie patties. and me and colton are organizing this whole thing. and sometimes the ribs get hot, so you put them up on the back grill, up on the top. but, when you close that thing -- i realized when i opened it up, oh, these veggie patties are sitting right where the pork ribs were sitting. [ laughter ] and there's drippage -- the pork ribs are up above, and when they're -- they look like they're at the back, but when you close it, they go right up over top. >> jimmy: yeah, i know what you're talking about. that secret shelf. that top shelf. >> that's deceiving. you don't know! >> jimmy: there's a lot of technology in there when you close that lid, yeah. >> you close that lid, it's all magic! i don't know what goes back there. it puts it above the heat. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> so, i look at my friend colton. i go, "what are we going to do?" and he says, "i think we both know what we're going to do." [ laughter ]
"this secret dies with us. we're going to serve these veggie burgers." we didn't have anymore veggie burgers, and that was all there was to it. so, we just served those things up. we just served them up. so, now my vegetarian friends are coming up to me saying, "hey, man, these are the best veggie burgers i've ever had." [ laughter and applause ] "you've got to tell me, where did you get these? these are so good." "i don't know. i threw out the box! i cant remember where i got them. you'll probably never find anything like that again." >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. so, yeah. so, they'll never come back again. >> nor will the vegetarians now after hearing the story. >> jimmy: yeah, they watched the story. yeah, yeah, yeah. tell us what's going on with "castle" now. congrats by the way. the show's a smash hit. people love it. it's a great show. you do very good on that show. >> yeah, it's the first show i've been on that hasn't gotten canceled. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's beyond -- it's beyond that. it's a major hit. >> we're doing all right. we're doing all right. >> jimmy: giant numbers. people love it. now, this -- you're getting up to the season finale. can you give us any spoilers? what's going to go down? >> i can tell you this much,
jimmy. >> jimmy: mm-hmm? >> this is a secret now. >> jimmy: yeah, it's between us. me and a couple vegetarians. [ light laughter ] >> the -- the question with "castle" is always, will they or won't they, you know? castle, beckett, are they going to get together? i can say this much. after the season finale, we won't wonder anymore. [ audience oohs ] thank you. appropriate response. >> jimmy: i mean, that was good. that was what you want after -- that's the response you wanted. yeah, yeah, yeah. oh, i like that. thank you for that. >> something's going to happen. i guess the question will be now, what are they going to do now? >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. you know, but we'll tune in. we'll check that out. i was going to ask you this question, though. i hope you don't mind. i was wondering. i was going to ask you this question. i hope you don't mind. i know you've done some action things during your roles. i was wondering if i could challenge you to a duel when we come back. >> what sort of -- >> jimmy: maybe a little bow and arrow action? [ light laughter ] >> so you know, i'm a bit of a ringer. i've watched a lot of "game of thrones." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i watched a lot of "hunger games." [ laughter ] so let's do this. >> let's do it.
let's get on! >> jimmy: let's do this, all right. [ cheers and applause ] when we get back, nathan fillion and i are having a shoot-out! it's going to be fun. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: coming up next week, cameron diaz, howard stern, will ferrell, stephen colbert and music by the beach boys. you've got to be kidding me. sweetie, help us settle this. i say this and this is called southern hospitality. well, i call it the clean getaway. [ scoffs ] you're both wrong. it's the freshy fresh. everyone knows that. i didn't know that. oh yeah, that's what they're saying now. [ female announcer ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. try them together. then name it on facebook.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i'm here with nathan fillion, and we're about to have a bow and arrow shoot-out. it works like this. we'll each take turns shooting five arrows at each other. head shot is worth 10 points. torso, 5 points. and crotchal region's worth 20. [ laughter ] high score at the end wins. nathan, you ready to do this? >> about 4:30. i can't hear you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: get in position and get ready to shoot. [ light laughter ]
>> who's got the first shot? >> jimmy: you can go first. >> oh, very kind. [ light laughter ] all right! [ clears throat ] >> jimmy: good luck. [ sighs ] >> jimmy: don't aim at the crotch. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] [ sad tuba ] you okay? if you hit one of the roots' crotch, it doesn't count. [ laughter ] >> i was -- go for collateral damage. i really don't -- [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: very close. very close. very close. >> i was really close. all right. i see where i went wrong last time. >> jimmy: you do? >> and this time -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah.
>> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ audience ohs ] [ sad tuba ] >> that happens to a lot of guys, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on, buddy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] all right. >> that's like a stark right there. shot that like a -- >> jimmy: i got to go for the -- i got to go for 20 here. [ audience ohs ] [ sad tuba ] to be honest, i only saw half of "the hunger games." [ laughter ] all right, look. we have two left. let's get a little closer. [ light laughter ] i don't know why i said that now. why would i say that? [ cheers and applause ] ♪
[ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> i felt that. i felt that! >> jimmy: what's that? >> i felt it. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. you almost enjoyed it too much, a little bit. [ laughter ] all right, nathan, you already won, so you don't even have to really hit me is the funny thing. >> well, you know -- >> jimmy: nah. >> this one's for "the hunger games." >> jimmy: oh! [ audience ohs ] i'm gonna do it just for the fun of it. there you go, right there. ready? >> that's going to be -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, nathan fillion's a champ, right here! [ cheers and applause ] the season finale of "castle" airs monday at 10:00 p.m. on abc.
check it out! taran killam joins us next! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] want to spend less and retire with more? at e-trade, our free online tools and retirement specialists can help you build a personalized plan and execute it with a wide range of low cost investments. get a great plan and low cost investments at e-trade.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is a very, very funny man. i like this guy a lot. he's in his second season as a featured player on "saturday night live." check him out as piers morgan. it's great. >> finally tonight, still perched on her halftime throne, we welcome the mastermind behind the halftime show, miss madonna. >> hello, piers. [ laughter ] >> now, madonna, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what's your reaction to all this? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please welcome taran killam, everybody! here he is. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: there he is. taran, thank you for being on our show, buddy. >> thank you so much for having me. this is awesome. >> jimmy: so happy you could be here. oh, gosh, you know i'm a big fan. >> you were awesome hosting. my favorite of the season. he's the best. >> jimmy: oh, no. thank you, my friend.
oh, stop. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy! jimmy! jimmy! [ audience chants ] jimmy. >> jimmy: no one does that. >> that makes sense, because you have the best audience! jimmy's audience! jimmy's audience! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no pandering. no pandering. >> but they're an audience from u.s.a.! u.s.a.! >> jimmy: taran, taran! >> but my favorite state, south dakota! south dakota! >> jimmy: no, see, that's where you went wrong. that's where you went wrong, yeah. where are you from originally? you're from california, right? >> i'm from california. i'm from big bear, which is like a mountain resort town, ski. yeah, oh, really? really? are you from there? 'cause if you're from there, i know you. it's that big. >> jimmy: oh, really? its small. >> yeah. it's a teeny, teeny town. >> jimmy: but you went -- then you -- but then, you moved to l.a. when were you -- >> moved to l.a. when i was 16. like, a great childhood, and then a performing arts high school. kind of same l.a. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> that whole thing. yeah. >> jimmy: a lot of -- yeah. but you also studied at the groundlings, right? >> i did. i was there for seven years. you did -- >> jimmy: so you did sketches and all that stuff. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but then, you kind of got a little notoriety on the internet for this thing that you were doing. you and your friend were -- explain this. >> right. okay. i did a pilot.
initial episode, didn't get picked up. it was called "nobody's watching." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mission accomplished, brother! mission accomplished! >> got released online. people liked it online. we got a deal to do stuff online. and the characters -- the two main characters were people -- tv's biggest fans. so, the game -- our viral online game was get on tv as much as possible. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, we did "days of our lives." we did "scrubs." >> jimmy: like, as extras? >> just in the background. literally standing in the background just spiking the lens. like, as the actors are doing their thing. just literally staring right in the lens. >> jimmy: and not telling them what was going on. >> nobody knew what was going on. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and you would go to game shows and stuff, too. >> we did "the price is right." we did "the price is right." >> jimmy: with my man, bob barker. >> bob barker -- to get a shot of us in the crowd sweep. so, we had neon orange shirts. mine said "spayed." paul campbell's said "neutered." and -- [ laughter ]
yeah, yeah. anything to call attention to ourselves. and it worked because i got called up. i got called up. i was the third name called of the entire show, and then they do six bids throughout the show. i was up there the entire time, and i won the sixth bid. >> jimmy: no? >> i won a tennis ball machine. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: who doesn't want that? >> i mean, hello, my backyard doesn't. >> jimmy: why would you/ yeah. >> it's still there, and i can't get rid of it. but the lobster, you know? that's what it's called because it lobs tennis balls, yeah. don't give me a fast one. i just want to lob it. >> jimmy: we'll just set it down and have a cocktail. and this will just shoot balls around the yard and then go pick them up later. >> throw my cat out there. >> jimmy: but you got far -- you got far down the thing? >> so, i made the bid. i lost my game. got to spin the wheel. and there's this -- >> jimmy: what does it feel like? is it heavy? >> it's yeah -- its pretty heavy. >> jimmy: got some weight to it. >> yeah, it does. some heft. but i have a ton of natural upper body strength. >> jimmy: i know. you don't have to tell us.
[ light laughter ] >> kind of like -- >> jimmy: yeah, you and nathan -- you're like twinsies over there. >> i didn't know which one to shoot. [ laughter ] so, there's this adorable 80-year-old woman named selma, i believe, from atlanta who plays harmonica. and bob barker -- it's like the last two months of his era on the show. and he's like, "selma, why don't you play a little harmonica for us?" so, like, she's playing, and me and the other contestant are doing a hoedown dance. and it's so fun. and then i go up to spin, and i spin exactly a dollar. [ cheers ] i won $1,000. just like that. >> jimmy: that is -- right off the bat. >> and i'm going to the showcase showdown. no doubt. >> jimmy: i mean, that's what it is. >> that's it. like, you can't beat that. >> jimmy: you can't beat that. >> i lose my mind. like, and i'm there -- i'm there just to be on camera for a different job. [ laughter ] but as a gag, like, ha-ha! joke's on them. i've lost my mind. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, you're stuck -- now you're stuck in "the price is right." >> i drank the kool-aid -- [ laughter ] one dollar! >> jimmy: we actually --
we found a clip. we have a clip of this happening. >> oh, my god. you found it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, taran killam on "the price is right." check him out here. >> now, let's win some money! here we go, taran, spin it. and you want to say hello to -- >> i want to say hi to dottie, to peggy, to braden, and to my best friend, will! [ cheers ] >> look at this. look at this! you have one dollar! [ cheers and applause ] right over there! he disarmed me. he disarmed me. come on, selma. >> jimmy: you knocked his mic out of his hand! >> just how i remember it. [ laughter ] played it cool. >> jimmy: taran killam, everybody! don't miss "saturday night live" this weekend with host eli manning, musical guest rihanna. taran killam, everybody! we'll be right back with retta! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: retta, you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to visit. we did a bit together. we did a like a "glee" spoof with you. >> 6b. >> jimmy: yeah. 6b. it was called "6b." >> what up, roots? >> jimmy: yeah. you got to give what up, roots. now, retta, this is a unlike you. because i heard that you're a little upset with me. >> i'm taking issue. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you're taking issue with me? >> yes. i was very excited that you had president obama on, but i know that you shot that on unc's campus. i am a duke alum. and so you made some disparaging -- i know you were playing to that audience, but you mentioned that duke sucks. and, uh -- >> jimmy: no, but i said -- >> but i know what you said. [ laughter ]
i know why you said it. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> but you said it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, okay. yeah. >> and then, you wore that garish carolina sweatshirt. >> jimmy: oh, come on. >> so i brought you -- >> jimmy: it was a nice sweatshirt. look. carolina. people like it. one person's clapping. [ laughter ] what is the problem? do you want to move your mic? >> okay. i'm a member of the blue devil nation, and we weren't feeling it. >> jimmy: i got you. i understand. i did not mean to offend anyone at duke. and really -- and i enjoy duke just as much as i do any. >> okay. >> jimmy: but you brought something? >> so i brought something so you'd never forget how you affected us. >> jimmy: this is beautiful. this is beautiful. look at this. >> a jacket. [ cheers and applause ] and on the inside -- >> jimmy: the inside it says, "retta says never forget." [ laughter ]
[ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm feeling it. coach k., check me out! >> do it. >> jimmy: you brought some other stuff, too. you brought -- >> i brought a bunch of other things. >> jimmy: hats. there you go. nathan, you can have a hat. [ laughter ] taran, you want to put this around your head? >> yes, please. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: party animal! you were pre-med at duke. >> i was. >> jimmy: now, were you a pre-med -- how'd you get into comedy? >> after i grad -- i took a year off before -- >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter and applause ] duke is representing tonight. duke is representing tonight. >> i love that you're wearing that hat. >> jimmy: no, i'm sorry to cut you off. >> i was pre-med, and i was going to take a year off before medical school.
and in that year -- i had done plays in high school and college, and i was telling my friend. i really -- you know, my big dream is to have my own tv show. she's like, "well, why don't you do stand-up? don't all comics get their own show?" we didn't know there were thousands and one comics trying to get their own show. so i started doing the open mics at the charlie goodnights in raleigh. >> jimmy: absolutely. that's a great club. >> yeah. and then, i never went back. never went to medical school. >> jimmy: what did mom -- what did mom say? >> well, so then, i did it for a year, and i told my mother that i was going to move to l.a. to do stand-up, and she was like, "for real?" and i was like -- >> jimmy: so, wait, you were going to be a doctor. now you're going to be a comedian? what is going on? [ laughter ] >> she's like, "you saw the bills, right?" [ laughter ] i was like, "yes, i seen them." she said, "well, if you're going to do it, do it. don't half-ass it. you know, do it. but just remember, you're carrying around your father's last name." so i dropped my last name. [ laughter and applause ] i moved to l.a. -- >> jimmy: that is legendary. you don't want anybody mad at you. come on.
everyone said that you're at caroline's this weekend in new york. sold-out show. people are freaking out. said your set is amazing. and i know how funny you are, so go check out retta if you're in new york in caroline's. [ cheers and applause ] or wherever you're doing stand-up. you're on "parks and rec." you're fantastic on "parks and rec." we love you. "parks and recreation," season finale coming up thursday, 9:30, nbc. i have a clip. a little sneak peek of the season finale of "parks and rec." >> make this fast. i almost made -- before you interrupted us. which files did you delete? >> all of them. i just put the stupid flash drive in, and then, i tried to drag everything over and i -- >> fixed it. >> what? >> how? >> jerry accidentally deletes things all the time. ten years ago, i installed my own secret backup. >> you saved us, donna. i love you. >> oh, okay. bring it in, boy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bring it in, boy. that's retta on "parks & recreation" 9:30 p.m. thursday here on nbc. kathleen edwards performs next. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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