Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 1, 2017 12:05am-1:08am EST

12:05 am
12:06 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the
12:07 am
jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- kumail nanjiani, kristaps porzingis, musicaguest miguel, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 780, alberta! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] i feel the love right there.
12:08 am
crowd. welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] you're here. you made it. you're watching. thank you very much. here's what people are talking about. earlier tonight, president trump and his family lit the national christmas tree. that was very nice. of course, trump refused to light it until everyone agreed his tree had the most lights in history. [ laughter and applause ] "800 million billion." [ light laughter ] million billion? trump also sent a thoughtful tweet about coming together, putting aside our differences, and remembering what the holidays are all about. i'm just kidding. he insulted the leaders of two countries on twitter. [ laughter and applause ] it woulda been -- wouldn't that nice? wouldn't that have been great? >> steve: that'd be nice, wouldn't it? >> jimmy: did you see this last night? trump lashed out at british prime minister theresa may on twitter, but he actually tagged the wrong theresa may. [ laughter ] when he heard that he sent an embarrassing tweet, he said, "you're going to have to be way more specific." [ laughter and applause ] "i'm sorry.
12:09 am
which one? mm-hmm, uh-huh. oh, that one." this is pretty big. it came out that trump wants to replace secretary of state rex tillerson. he decided not to when he heard tillerson was his secret santa. [ laughter and applause ] "right after i get my present, you're fired." yesterday, in missouri, trump gave a speech on the republican tax bill. and seemed like he knew everyone in the crowd. watch this video. >> linda, she's helping a lot of people. thank you very much, linda. where's cassandra? she around here? hello, cassandra. josh, where's josh? josh. where's tim? you're all here? hi, terry. hi, sally. thanks, sally. where's randy? randy. hello, randy. thank you, jason. vicki heartsler. vicki! right, billy? i said billy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "billy." the weird part is that room was completely empty. >> steve: really? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: there was no one -- there was no one there. i know. i don't know if he was giving a a speech or reciting "mambo no. 5." >> steve: really. la
12:10 am
where's my josh?" [ light laughter ] "where's my joshy? there's joshy, right there." where's my joshy? >> steve: joshy? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: during his speech, trump had some very specific suggestions for the way this country needs to be treated. watch this. >> our country was not treated properly for a long time. we're treating it properly. we're treating it with love. and with this. got to treat it with this. >> jimmy: even more -- even more upsetting, the teleprompter said, "point to heart." [ laughter and applause ] "love. we need a lot of love and this." anyone else surprised we didn't hear a hollow knocking sound when he did that? [ light laughter ] get this, jerry springer says he won't run for governor of ohio next year. you know politics has gotten messy when jerry springer's like, "i can't be associated with this. [ laughter and applause ] this will ruin my name!" actually, a candidate named dana nessel is running to be michigantt
12:11 am
a pretty good point after what's been in the news. take a look at this. >> so, when you're choosing michigan's next attorney general, ask yourself this. who can you trust most not to show you their penis in a a professional setting? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she's got my vote. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, i'm in. sure. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: hillary was like, "i knew i should have made that my slogan." [ laughter and applause ] that's what people want. which one -- guys, earlier tonight was the thursday night football game between the dallas cowboys and the washington redskins. now, as you know, at the end of the season, they give out the most valuable player award. they also give out other awards during the season. sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks, like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. so, with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show" superlatives. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tonight show
12:12 am
♪ >> jimmy: first up for washington, we have offensive lineman brandon scherff. he was voted most likely to be the love child of matt damon and droopy dog. [ laughter and applause ] "i don't want to block anyone." [ laughter ] next -- next from dallas, we have linebacker justin march-lillard. he was voted most likely to ask his barber for the leaning tower of pisa. [ laughter and applause ] you got it? next up for dallas is trey williams. he was voted most likely to be wearing head spanx. i don't even know what that is. [ laughter and applause ] never heard of that. here's washington's tight end jeremy sprinkle. he was voted most likely to have cousins named chad whipcream and jeff cherry. [ laughter and applause ] up next for dallas is joe looney. aw. [ light laughter ]
12:13 am
his fingers to show you how old he is. [ laughter and applause ] so cute. so cute. up next from dallas is taco charlton. [ light laughter ] he was voted most likely to have parents that think outside the bun. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: yeah! come on! >> jimmy: up next for dallas is chris jones. he was voted most likely to say, "but how?" when the photographer says, "smile." [ light laughter ] [ applause ] finally for dallas is l.p. ladouceur. he was voted most likely to wear short-shorts when he washes his car. [ laughter ] "lovely day, ain't it?" [ applause ] there you go, guys. those are your nfl superlatives. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
12:14 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, roots! nice to see you, roots. good to see you, higgins. welcome, everybody. thank you for being here. and thank you for watching "the tonight show." isn't it exciting to be here in new york city right now? [ cheers and applause ] the vibe is great. there's a buzz outside. everyone's happy. last night, they lit the christmas tree here at rockefeller center. did anyone watch that on tv on nbc? [ cheers and applause ] it gets you in the holiday spirit. they say that almost 500,000 people showed up. it was packed. i mean, every year, we know this from our building here. it's like, we have to -- i have to leave through a really underground secret tunnel. >> steve: right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: just to get out. >> steve: and i get shoved on to the sidewalk. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. but either way, it's tons and tons of people. i want to give a shout-out to everyone who did security last night. everybody had a great time and everybody was safe. so thank you to the nypd and to rockefeller center security. they did a great job. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: that is why new york city is the best city in the world.
12:15 am
that was just great. come to new york city and check it out. i want to mention, also, be sure to tune in to pbs on december 12th at 8:00 p.m. december 12th, 8:00 p.m. they're airing a new episode of "finding your roots." this is where they trace people's ancestry. and it features an appearance by none other than our very own questlove. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: yeah. i saw -- i saw you put on your instagram feed that this looked like a a sneak peek where it's you and the host, i'm assuming? >> questlove: yeah. skip gates -- dr. gates. >> jimmy: yeah. and he's going, "now, read to me where -- where you're from. where your roots are from." what country you're from. and you just start laughing hysterically. >> questlove: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: dude, i want to find out! >> questlove: you got to watch on december 12th. >> jimmy: come on! >> questlove: it's a historical first for the show. i'll put it that way. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: it's hist -- are you from mars?
12:16 am
>> questlove: meep morp. meep morp. meep. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: meep morp, meep morp. i have another -- so you won't tell us where? so we have to watch. but it's a surprise. maybe. >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: okay, good. you had no idea? >> questlove: i'd zero idea that they could go back that far. >> jimmy: and how do they trace your -- you use saliva? >> questlove: it took them -- yeah, saliva, blood. it took them about a year and a a half to -- but because of my specific situation, it's -- [ light laughter ] december 12th, man. >> steve: december 12th. >> jimmy: and then my last question for you. did you cry? i've seen the show, and everybody cries. >> questlove: i was cuttin' some onions. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was cutting some onions. okay, good. well, we'll watch december 12th. yeah, yeah. no spoilers. guys, we have a fun show tonight. he co-wrote and stars in one of the best films i've seen of the year -- "the big sick." kumail nanjiani is here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, what a great movie. >> steve: delightful gentleman. >> jimmy: what a great movie.
12:17 am
funny, touching, moving. it was great. plus, in his third season, this guy has become one of the best players in the nba. from the new york knicks, kristaps porzingis is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] and we have a great performance from miguel, ladies and gentlemen! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's always great. it's going to be a great show. stick around. we'll be right back with "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [bell rings] every year we take a girl's trip. remember nashville? kimchi bbq. amazing honky tonk? i can't believe you got us tickets. i did. i didn't pay for anything. you never do. send me what i owe. i got it. i mean, you did find money to buy those boots. are you serious?
12:18 am
those boots could make a unicorn cry. yeah, tears of joy. the bank of america mobile banking app. the fast, secure and simple way to send money. between the bike rides and the fort making, you're a family of master adventurers? meet your new partner in crime. hey google, play mickey mouse adventure. mickey mouse: will you help me? you know it. mickey: hot dog! i knew i could count on you! family time. like only google can. ♪ of thoughts and dreams that scatter ♪ ♪ you pull them all together ♪ and how, i can't explain ♪ ♪ oh yeah, well well well youuuu ♪ ♪ you make my dreams come true ♪ ♪ well, well, well youuuu ♪ topped steak & twisted potatoes at applebee's. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood.
12:19 am
12:20 am
12:21 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. it is time for "tonight show" hashtags. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: hey, we do this thing every wednesday where i will send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic. so since people are starting to decorate for the holidays, i sent out a hashtag called #decorationdisaster.
12:22 am
and i asked you guys to send us your funny, weird, or embarrassing stories about winter decorating. within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s., so thank you for playing along. [ cheers and applause ] and now i thought i'd share some of my favorite decoration disasters from you guys. this first one is from @ashawnashing. >> steve: ashawnashing. >> jimmy: ashawnashing. >> steve: ashawnashin. >> jimmy: i can smell the whiskey from here. is everything okay? [ laughter ] this one's from ashawnashing. he says, "one year, i ran out of christmas wrapping paper and only had ones that said 'happy birthday' on it, so i just wrote 'jesus' underneath." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: yeah. that's using the old noggin. using the heart. >> jimmy: this one's from @alexcaseberg. he says, "to save money on tinsel one year, my mom used torn-up tinfoil. the tree looked like it was getting highlights." [ laughter and applause ] this one's from @artisticflair04.
12:23 am
buy custom ornaments with me and my boyfriend's names on them. now every year, our tree is a a monument to all my failed relationships." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: scary. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @uhlollygagger. >> steve: uh, lollygagger? >> jimmy: u.h. lollygagger. >> steve: so is uh lollygagger? >> jimmy: uh, what is lollygagger? [ laughter ] she says, "one year, i lost the elf on the shelf, so i bought a a knock-off replacement that scared everyone." look at the photo. look at the picture. [ laughter and applause ] oh, my gosh. that is frightening. [ laughter ] >> steve: i'm will eat you. >> jimmy: devil on the shelf. this one's from @kimmys52369. she says, "our angel fell off the tree one year and broke her trumpet. now she just looks like she's drinking a 40." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
12:24 am
this one's from @jgarner5. she says, "this animatronic santa across the street lost his head, kept on creepily waving." [ audience oh's ] here's a photo. [ laughter and applause ] ho, ho, ho. ho, ho, ho. this one's from @dallasmavs33. she says, "we had a christmas ornament that said, 'joy' but the 'j' fell off and now it just says 'oy.' now we have a hanukkah ornament." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: hanukkah. >> jimmy: this one's from @sdeckerville. she says, "my 3-year-old and i were hanging ornaments and she found some without a way to hang them so she said, 'we better go get more hookers out of the basement.'" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oops. >> jimmy: sounds like someone was snooping for presents. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: this one is from @mmmekintu. she says, "this year, my kids went ahead and decorated the tree on their own." take a look.
12:25 am
[ laughter and applause ] >> steve: i can't reach! get the hookers. [ laughter ] we're here to help you kids. >> jimmy: get the eggnog and get the hookers. [ laughter ] >> steve: -- little of that eggnog in. >> jimmy: this one's from @trinascaglione. she says, "after she saw my gingerbread house, my grandma told me i needed other talents if i ever planned to find a a husband." [ laughter and applause ] why? >> steve: gosh. why'd you do that, grammy? >> jimmy: oh, this is interesting. it's from @erinl. she says, "my mom built a a family of snowmen outside to get festive before christmas. a bunch of kids knocked them over in the middle of the night, so she turned it into a a crime scene in our front yard." look what she did. [ laughter and applause ] yeah.
12:26 am
mom for the win. >> steve: come on, mom. >> jimmy: mom for the win. this last one's from @monicaholmes. she says, "my kids accidentally made a christmas eve banner that said, welcome satan." there you go. those are our "tonight show" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to stick around. we'll be right back with kumail nanjiani, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when kids get really excited about my children's books that's the best reaction. i know things about great white sharks! what's great about paint 3d, it's exciting to a shark come to life and come off the page. with the windows 10 pc, to be able to draw right on the screen and create something three dimensional, is amazing. it's exciting to turn it and light it and have these different effects. with my mac, i can't do that. when you see that the work creates a feeling in a kid, feels great. and it's addictive, you want to keep doing it, you know?
12:27 am
givegive joy with 25% rioff under armours. and get joy with kohl's cash for you! take 25% off under armour hoodies, fleece, and shoes! under armour presents for them, kohl's cash for you! give joy, get joy with under armour at kohl's. (amanda von a fluke.d scrappy and he totally has a super-power. didn't know i was allergic to ibuprofen. and i had fallen asleep... (scrappy barks) (amanda) he was totally freaked out, digging and pawing at me. and when i woke up i realized that i was in anaphylaxis and went to the emergency room. i don't know what i would do if he wasn't there. he's the best boy. (vo) through the subaru share the love event, we've helped the ascpa save nearly forty thousand animals so far. get a new subaru and we'll donate two hundred fifty dollars more to help those in need. (amanda) ♪ put a little love in your heart. ♪
12:28 am
♪ i need you ♪ baby ♪ ♪ you can make my heart ♪ go round ♪ you ♪ ohh (camera shutter clicks) ♪ you can make my heart ♪ go round ♪ ahh-h-h ♪ ♪ whoo-o-o! ♪ ohh, ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh ♪ baby
12:29 am
it's a like, a dagger?a worm! a tiny sword? bread...breadstick? a matchstick! a lamppost! coin slot! no? uhhh... 10 seconds. a stick! a walking stick! eiffel tower, mount kilimanjaro! (ding) time! sorry, it's a tandem bicycle. what? what?! as long as sloths are slow, you can count on geico saving folks money. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. ...don't know if you can hear chaos me, here! can we get a shot of this cold front, right here. [vo] progress is an unstoppable force. brace yourself for the season of audi sales event. ...just go to bed." aveeno® positively radiant® overnight facial. get the benefits of a spa facial... ...overnight. aveeno®. "naturally beautiful results®"
12:30 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest cowrote and stars in "the big sick," which has earned rave reviews and is getting tons of awards buzz. it is now available on amazon prime and dvd. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome kumail nanjiani. ♪ [ cheers and ala
12:31 am
♪ >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. welcome. welcome to the show. look at you there, yeah. >> i want to clarify -- she's wearing heels, and i'm on my knees. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're on your knees, please. good to see you, buddy. >> she's -- she's taller than i am. >> jimmy: yeah, i know she is. yeah. [ laughter ] congratulations on the success of "the big sick." you got rave reviews. a lot of awards buzz starting. a huge year for you. i love the movie so much. i just, like, wow, everything was a curveball. i just couldn't believe it. i want to get into it, but you did a great job, i want to say, at hosting "saturday night live" as well. >> oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. that was real crazy dream come true.
12:32 am
>> jimmy: yeah, it was fun? >> yeah, well, the first time i was ever on tv, i was in an -- in a "saturday night live" sketch. i actually had -- i had two lines in a sketch on "saturday night live" at dress rehearsal, i had three lines, and then i messed up one of my lines, so on the show, i had two lines. [ laughter ] but i was on -- i was -- that was the first time i was on tv, and then i got to host it years later. >> jimmy: i mean, that's what i'm talking about. isn't that great? >> yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you think that's your only chance and you go, ah. but you did a great job. >> thank you. i -- you know, i have this moment, i was doing the monologue, and it was going really well. >> jimmy: yeah, it was. >> i'm having a fun time. i'm having a blast. i decided i would have fun hosting. having a great time. and then i look over and i notice steven spielberg. steven spielberg is standing there, and i'm just doing it and i'm like, oh my god, that's definitely steven spielberg. [ light laughter ] and i kind of panicked inside and messed up the next line and
12:33 am
could see myself composing myself, and then i continue. but before i did this, i actually watched my monologue -- i found the moment where i saw steven spielberg. [ laughter ] can we -- can we show them. >> jimmy: i have three photos here. >> okay, yeah. so here. >> jimmy: here's this photo here, doing the monologue. >> so i'm doing the monologue. it's going great. look how happy i am. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you look handsome. yeah, you look sharp. >> i'm like, this is going well. i belong here. let's see -- this is the exact moment i notice steven spielberg. [ laughter ] ♪ this is the exact moment i notice him, and this is a a couple seconds later. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. so, did you get to meet him at all? at the after party or -- >> yeah, so i saw him at the after party and i just went up to him and i was like, you know, you messed up my monologue. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you did not.
12:34 am
stumbled, and he laughed really hard and you know, you think when you meet your heroes you're going to be all chill and cool and stuff. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was just like, i have a a couple questions about "close encounters of the third kind." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he was like, anyone get me out of this conversation. [ laughter ] i want to hear about your obsession with hugh grant, because in the movie. you -- guys, if you haven't seen this movie, you are going to love it. it has so many jokes in there, by the way, that's one of the reasons i loved it so much. well written, it was so -- performed great. but so many jokes, but then there's this thing where you're -- you have, like, you're obsessed with hugh grant. and in real life, you are. >> yes. >> jimmy: like you -- [ light laughter ] in high school, you would never smile in photos, because you heard that hugh grant doesn't smile in photos. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: 'cause why? >> 'cause he said it makes his face look fat. [ laughter ] and i was like, i don't want my face to look fat. [ light laughter ] i want to look like hugh grant. so i didn't smile in pictures for many years. >> jimmy: why were you obsessed with hugh grant? >> well, because i really loved "four weddings and a funeral."
12:35 am
i watched it -- why are people laughing? [ laughter ] it's a great movie. >> jimmy: it is, yeah! >> have you seen it? >> jimmy: of course i have. >> oh, my god, it's got everything. four weddings. it's got a funeral. >> jimmy: yeah, and the funeral. [ laughter ] yeah, the title -- don't give away the -- no spoilers. [ light laughter ] >> it's actually, three weddings, a funeral and then another wedding. spoilers. but, i just -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but a total of four weddings. >> it's got a total of four weddings and a total of one funeral. >> jimmy: funeral, okay good. i'm glad they settled on that title. >> there's some receptions and stuff, but i think that counts amongst the weds. i could, two or three, recite that whole movie right now. >> jimmy: you really could. >> so what happened was, i watched this at a very impressionable age and the beginning of the movie, hugh grant is -- he's the best man at one of the weddings, wedding one, and he does this speech, his best man speech, and it's basically a monologue. it's basically a stand-up piece, right? he's doing jokes. and i remember watching it and being like -- that was the first stand-up i fell in love
12:36 am
because of his best man speech at wedding one. >> jimmy: you're kidding. >> yeah. and i -- when i watch early videos of me doing stand-up, i'm basically doing an impression of hugh grant at wedding one of "four weddings and a funeral." [ light laughter ] and i wanted -- i loved his hair. do we have a -- look at -- look at what a great job i did. >> jimmy: which one? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> look at that! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no smile. >> no smile. >> jimmy: no smile. >> i mean, look, this part is perfectly floppy. >> jimmy: it is fantastic. >> it's perfect. here there's a little -- you know i went -- i sort of added my own flair. >> jimmy: yeah. you had your own flair. [ light laughter ] you had to have your own flair. i just love this. and i love that you really are obsessed with him, because i don't know, i just think it's great. you actually got to meet hugh grant. >> yeah. so, this is what happened. so, richard curtis -- >> jimmy: he's phenomenal. >> yeah, he's amazing. he wrote "four weddings." >> jimmy: "notting hill," "love tu
12:37 am
>> jimmy: he's a genius. >> he's a genius. and him and his partner emma, had us over. they heard that we were big fans and they had us over to their house in london. and emily and i were eating with them, and the doorbell rang. and emily was like, "uh-oh." and i was like, "what do you know?" she didn't know, but hugh grant walked in. [ light laughter ] and he was very nice. no idea -- >> jimmy: your voice just went up like three volumes. [ laughter ] just saying his name. hugh grant! >> hugh grant! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on down! >> yeah, it's just been, you know, like at "snl," it was, surprise, spielberg. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> surprise, grant! >> jimmy: yeah, you got a a surprise spielberg, yep. >> yeah, i got a surprise grant and then i actually -- i got a a picture with -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: the reason why i love this is because, you're not smiling and he is. and that's his -- [ applause ] >> look at that. >> jimmy: look at that. >> look at that. see? i got to take that line out.
12:38 am
we come back, everybody. love it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪♪
12:39 am
it's red lobster's new ultimate surf & turf event. get ready these 5 pairings are gonna floor ya. like our new feast with lobster-wrapped scallops and a juicy sirloin, plus a savory lobster-and-shrimp smashed potato. and our new lobster and seafood-topped filet? every bite is better than the last. the classic is here too. come indulge in surf & turf like you've never had it before it's too late. and weekdays, create your own seafood lover's lunch for just $9.99. create your own seafood lover's toasting dad: i'm not one but here's to... to many more years of friendship.
12:40 am
crowd: [laughing, cheering] to presents! a mi familia que lo es todo. ♪ to being right here, right now, with you. sfx: dog bark. and you. toasting dad: i guess what i'm trying to say is, here's to family. we're proud to bring your family amazing value every day. t.j. maxx. marshalls. homegoods. family is the greatest gift. at p60 million meals soto pets in that definitely feels good! with your support, we provide meals for pet shelters and food banks to feed hungry pets across the country. this holiday season, buy any bag of dog or cat food at petsmart. any brand, any size and we'll give a meal to a pet in need.
12:41 am
petsmart - for the love of pets. before we start, i just want to say if anyone still doesn't have fios, please stay out of the way so your lag doesn't get us all killed, ben. what's so good about fios anyway? uh. what's so great about a 100% fiber-optic network that makes your gaming system actually work awesomely? hey. did you take out the trash? haha, garbage boy! dad, i already took out ben. it's not funny.
12:42 am
0% fiber-optic network. so get fios. now, just $79.99 per month with a 2-year price guarantee, with a 2-year agreement.
12:43 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good evening, everyone. welcome back. i'm hanging out with kumail nanjiani right here, everybody. kumail. [ cheers and applause ] for those who haven't seen it, can you tell them what "the big sick" is about? >> so, "the big sick" is a -- it's based on the true story of -- she's my wife now, but my girlfriend and i at the time, when we were first dating. this is going to sound super heavy and intense. she -- we were dating a few months, and she got sick and was put into a coma for eight days, and then i hung out with her parents. it's only eight days. it's like a quick -- like a
12:44 am
[ laughter ] but it's a comedy, and it's sort of based on that little, like, couple weeks of me hanging out with her parents who i didn't really know that well. and she's doing great now. emily's great. she's awake. [ cheers and applause ] she's here. she's here. >> jimmy: yeah, she's here. >> yeah, she's backstage. >> jimmy: i didn't know that it was a true story. i didn't know what's going on. i'm laughing. it's so funny. the parents, people who play your parents, were unbelievably funny in this. everyone's great, and it's directed by michael showalter, who i love that guy. man, he is great. but everybody scores. those girls that your mom tries to set you up with -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: i really wanted to write these lines down. they were so good. they're really good. and the comedians you hang out with -- aidy bryant, bo burnham. >> and kurt braunohler, yeah. >> jimmy: kurt braunohler is unbelievably hilari -- but you're a stand-up in the -- >> yeah, i play a stand-up in it, and we sort of had everybody write their own
12:45 am
and yeah, it was just really -- we shot it here in new york. it was really -- >> jimmy: it reminded me of what it was like to be backstage at, you know, in the comedy clubs before you go out. and you go, like, "hey, is this joke funny? is that good?" >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i know that -- i got that feeling. oh, that's so real. that was so well shot. it was really well done. and then you kick -- you go on this ride where you're meeting her parents. you have no idea. they don't know who you are. you don't know who they are, and you guys almost just -- well, you broke up right before she went into the coma. >> yeah, in the movie, we break up, and then i'm sort of the weird ex-boyfriend who's hanging around the hospital for no reason. [ laughter ] and the parents are like, "you can go," and i'm like, "i'm going to stay." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, they're like, "we're good, man. we're already past you. we got bigger problems right now." >> yeah, certainly, certainly. but you know, the movie, it's -- it's been really exciting. like, people liked it, and people went to see it, and it got good reviews, and it's been -- it's really a kind of a really unexpected ride this whole year. >> jimmy: i mean, did you --
12:46 am
they freaking out? i mean, you're getting awards buzz. i mean, this is like serious stuff now. >> yeah, it's pretty intense. i just got a chill down my spine when you said the "a" word followed by the "b" word. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: awards buzz? >> ah! [ laughter ] easy, buddy. easy. don't -- >> jimmy: the "a" word followed by the "b" word. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, i don't like it. it's too much. >> jimmy: all right, sorry. sorry, i won't do it together like that again. i'll say buzz awards. >> that's worse. [ light laughter ] the buzz awards sounds like, you know -- >> jimmy: something i would host on nickelodeon, or something. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i'll think about that. >> yeah, or, like, you know, the best honey of the year gets the buzz award or whatever. >> jimmy: 'cause burt's bees, yeah. i got it, yeah. >> but yeah, they're super excited. they send me -- my dad, like, sends me every article -- every interview, like, did you read this? i'm like, yeah, it's an interview with me. [ laughter ] i was there. you know when it says, "said nanjiani?" i'm that guy. la
12:47 am
that's me, nanjiani. they're really thrilled. >> jimmy: it's unbelievable. it's such a roller coaster of a a movie. it's exactly what you want. it's like a romantic comedy, but it's a drama. but gosh, i haven't seen anything like it and it's just so fresh and cool. it's called "the big sick." i want to show a clip, but do you want to set this clip up? >> i'll set up the clip. so this is, as i said, emily is sick. she's in the coma, and i'm sort of hanging around the hospital, and her parents are there, and we haven't had a real conversation yet. and we're sort of like, hanging out but not really talking. like i'm sitting far away from them. and so, finally, we have lunch one day at the cafeteria and this is the first conversation i have with emily's parents. this is the first conversation we have. >> jimmy: here we go. here's kumail nanjiani in "the big sick." >> so, uh, 9/11. [ laughter ] no, i mean, i've always wanted to have a conversation with -- about it. with -- people.
12:48 am
>> you've never talked to people about 9/11? >> no, with you -- what's your stance? >> what's my stance on 9/11? well, um, anti. [ laughter ] it was a tragedy. i mean, we lost 19 of our best guys. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] that was a joke. obviously. 9/11 was a terrible tragedy and it's not funny to joke about it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're so great in it, buddy. so, well done. congratulations. kumail nanjiani, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "the big sick" is available on amazon prime and dvd. we'll be right back with kristaps porzingis! stick arnold, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:49 am
then it hit me... managing was all i was doing. when i told my doctor, i learned humira is for people who still have symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease even after trying other medications. in clinical studies, the majority of people on humira saw significant symptom relief and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. just managing your symptoms? ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible. it's the one time of year weekend at kohl's friends & family take an extra 25% off!
12:50 am
boots for him and stockings for the family! plus get kohl's cash! and remember - friends & family take an extra 25% off. give joy, get joy at kohl's. between the bike rides and the fort making, you're a family of master adventurers? meet your new partner in crime. hey google, play mickey mouse adventure. mickey mouse: will you help me? you know it. mickey: hot dog! i knew i could count on you! family time. like only google can. i'm here to talk to you about how at&t gives you more. and so am i. like how when you buy the amazing new iphone 8 you get another one on us. see we give you more phones and more spokespeople. are you guys doing a spokesperson thing right now? yes. awesome, can i be in it? well, it's kind of like a two-phone deal. so two spokespeople. got it. k.
12:51 am
it's time for more. buy the amazing iphone 8 at at&t and get a second one to gift, on us. ♪ sourced entirely in france, for a character all its own. grey goose. give the world's best tasting vodka.
12:52 am
bthe less stuff i have, myto carry the better.k. with surface pro, i have one device that does everything. technology has really changed how i do this job. on pacific rim: uprising our characters are 250 ft. tall. where in the heck are you gonna land this big robot? pulled up a satellite image and there is like a giant bullseye, robots here! i feel very proud of what i bring to the screen. i have the greatest job in the world.
12:53 am
because everyone likes easy. sure do. because everyone is on the go. because we all like to save energy, but sometimes we slip up. reaching up. shhh. because sometimes we want it cool at night then toasty in the mornings. introducing the easy to use, energy saving, adjustable from everywhere, easy on the wallet and the eyes, nest thermostat e. e is for everyone.
12:54 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is off to the best start to a season by any player in new york knicks history. he's currently leading the nba in blocks. he's also in the top five in scoring. here's some highlights from this season. this guy's got the garden rocking again. check it out. >> porzingis catch and finish! >> porzingis jump shot. >> way outside. hit the three.
12:55 am
>> porzingis with the block. >> porzingis cuts. >> porzingis puts up the three. [ cheers and applause ] electrified performance from kristaps porzingis. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please welcome the face of the new york knicks, kristaps porzingis! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: porzingis! [ cheers and applause ] they love you. come on. we love you too. i've never seen you on a talk show before. so this is exciting for me. >> this is my first time. >> jimmy: it is. yeah. you've never been on a talk show, yeah? oh, fantastic. [ light laughter ] i'm happy you're here. thank you for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: yeah, please. tell everyone a little bit about you if they don't know. you grew up in latvia, right? >> that's right. grew up in latvia until i was 15, then i moved to spain. i lived in spain for five
12:56 am
19 and now i'm here. >> jimmy: wow. and how old are you now? [ cheers and applause ] >> 22. >> jimmy: 22 years old. and how did you start playing basketball? was it your family? >> yeah. my whole family played basketball. my older brother was a a professional basketball player. my middle brother also played. and my mom is 6'1." dad is 6'4." you know, i'm 7'3." >> jimmy: your mom played basketball too? >> yeah. >> jimmy: sorry, how tall are you? 7'3"? >> 7'3" >> jimmy: holy moly. so when did you start just kicking your brothers' butts? [ light laughter ] i mean, when -- what time did you keep growing and they stopped growing? >> they made it pretty tough on me, but -- >> jimmy: i know one of your brothers is back there. so you're still tight with your family? >> yeah. very tight. very tight. >> jimmy: you live in the same apartment? is that true or no? >> not anymore. my first -- my rookie season, yes. >> jimmy: you did. >> it was too much. we were all in the same place. so now we're in the same building but we have different apartments. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: still in the same building, though.
12:57 am
>> well, we want to stay close, you know? but at least we have our space now. >> jimmy: yeah. do you -- are you psyched for the holidays because then you get together with the whole family? >> yeah, my mom and dad is coming for christmas so it's going to be fun. we're going to be all back together. >> jimmy: they've got to be proud of you. oh, my goodness. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: 22 years old, you're the face of the new york knicks. i mean, this is it. i mean, melo left. he's gone on. which is great for him. but now, it's all -- it's all you. people come to the garden, and they want to see you. >> yeah. i mean, it's -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: sorry to remind you. sorry, i don't want to put the pressure on you. but you're great to watch. you're so -- it's amazing to watch you. so much fun. and kevin durant gave you a a nickname. the unicorn. [ light laughter ] i love it. do you love it? >> at first, i was a little confused. [ laughter ] like, what is this, a horse with a pony tail? [ laughter ] what does it mean? but then, you know, k
12:58 am
what he tried to say is that i was a unique player and, you know, so it's a - - it was nice to hear him say, you know, good things about me. >> jimmy: well, on your sneaker, which is a -- by the way, unbelievably big. [ laughter ] i mean, good gosh! look at the sneaker. this is the size of my whole shoulder. [ laughter ] this is -- holy moly. and i love -- i love that you have somebody on the soles because this is probably what i would see if you dunked on me. [ light laughter ] that's the unicorn right there. [ audience ohs ] i just think that's pretty rad right there. [ applause ] i love going to the garden. i love seeing the games. i love watching you play. i try not to be distracting to anybody and make a big deal so if i'm there, if i see you there, i don't want to go, "hey, kristaps, what's up, man." but i do watch and you're just amazing to watch. >> appreciate it. >> jimmy: thank you for -- and all the new yorkers want to thank you for just being awesome and playing great. when you go to the locker room during halftime, the knicks city dancers come out. you never get to see them.
12:59 am
>> no. >> jimmy: but they're so good. they're so talented. [ laughter ] i don't know what to really do -- sometimes i'm right, sometimes, right in the front, and i just don't want to just stare at them. [ light laughter ] you know? because i want to -- i just want to be normal. [ laughter ] i have a picture of me and my friend at the knicks game that i just thought was pretty -- it kind of encompasses what i'm doing while they're dancing and they're amazing. but this is a photo of me and lorne at the knicks game. [ applause and laughter ] i've never -- i've never seen that dance move, and i never will, you know? [ light laughter ] but i will say, that's what you're missing out on, man. so one time you got to come out for the halftime show. and good luck with the rest of the season. we love you. [ cheers and applause ] please come back. >> i will. >> jimmy: win that championship, buddy. kristaps porzingis! [ cheers and applause ] we have a performance from miguel after the break. stick arounder
1:00 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:01 am
1:02 am
1:03 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, come back tomorrow night. the one and only queen latifah will be dropping in! [ cheers and applause ] plus, the star of "the good doctor", freddie highmore will be here! [ cheers and applause ] and we have music from sam smith. it's a g
1:04 am
[ cheers and applause ] but first, tonight's musical guest is a grammy-winning artist who just announced a a 2018 tour in support of his new album, "war and leisure." performing "skywalker," give it up for miguel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ quick to dead the bull like a matador quick to dead the bull like a matador ♪ ♪ bull bull bull like a matador quick to dead the bull like a matador ♪ ♪ cap and a stem catch a wave on us take a shot make a friend just enjoy the moment ♪ ♪ i'm luke skywalkin' on these haters celebrate every day like a birthday ♪ ♪ good things come to those that wait up but don't wait to jump in too long ♪ ♪ don't sleep you gotta stay up don't don't sleep you gotta stay up ♪ ♪ i'm outstandin' so i stand out
1:05 am
than a bathhouse ♪ ♪ top gun on my tom cruise i play for keeps and i don't lose ♪ ♪ you're gonna love it 'cause you're cool as a breeze ♪ ♪ so pick a poison yeah i got what you need ♪ ♪ nonchalant got the green on rotation all night we gon' keep it psychedelic like a ♪ ♪ cap and a stem catch a wave on us take a shot make a friend just enjoy the moment ♪ ♪ i'm luke skywalkin' on these haters celebrate every day like a birthday ♪ ♪ good things come to those that wait up but don't wait to jump in too long ♪ ♪ don't sleep you gotta stay up don't don't sleep you gotta stay up ♪ ♪ got the baes lookin' at me like it's dinnertime ♪ ♪ i know she vegan but she want the steak tonight ♪ ♪ and i smile like a saint
1:06 am
♪ baby roll it lick it love it let it blow your mind ♪ ♪ shotgunnin' takin' shots now ♪ ♪ conversation flowin' lift off we in the clouds now ♪ ♪ first you put the work in 'til it works out work it out 'til it's turnt out ♪ ♪ cap and a stem catch a wave on us take a shot make a friend just enjoy the moment ♪ ♪ i'm luke skywalkin' on these haters celebrate every day like a birthday ♪ ♪ good things come to those that wait up but don't wait to jump in too long ♪ ♪ don't sleep you gotta stay up don't don't sleep you gotta stay up ♪ ♪ yeah i was good then but i'm better now all gains i've been wrappin' up ♪ ♪ quick to dead the bull like a matador right now i'm higher up than canada ♪ ♪ cap and a stem catch a wave on us take a shot make a friend just enjoy the moment ♪
1:07 am
♪ i'm luke skywalkin' on these haters celebrate every day like a birthday ♪ ♪ good things come to those that wait up but don't wait to jump in too long ♪ ♪ don't sleep you gotta stay up don't sleep you gotta stay up ♪ ♪ stay up stay up stay up ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes! thank you. that's how you do it, man. that is how you do it! miguel! [ cheers and applause ] "war and leisure" is out now. thank you, buddy. my thanks to kumail nanjiani, kristaps porzingis, miguel once again! [ cheers and applause ] that was great, man. that was great. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: and give it up for the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:08 am
♪ ♪


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on