tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC June 14, 2018 12:37am-1:38am EDT
♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- claire danes, from "tag", actor and comedian hannibal buress, music from amber mark, featuring the 8g band with brian frasier-moore. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gtlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. "'m seth meyers. this is "late nigh how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] c to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump, today, declare, on twitter, quthere is no longer a nuclear threat from north korea." that's a little premature, isn't it? of course it's not his first prematurtweet. there was this one from last
year. and, of course there was -- [ light laughter ] there was this one. [ light laughter ] and who could forget this one? [ laughter ] democratic missouri senator claire mccaskill admitted, yesterday, that she flew on a private plane during part of a campaign rv tour aimed at making her appear down to earth. though i'm not sure her apology was althat effective. [ laughter ] tomorrow is president trump's birthday, but he already got his spankings. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] an actual detail from that story. in a recent tweet, ivanka trump misattributed a quote from an american newspaper as a chinese proverb. which is weird, becaually she takes things that are chinese and passes them off as american. [ laughter and applause ]
according to the "new york post",udy giuliani has been bragging to friends about having an affair with a married woman, who he allegedly claims has, quote, "big boobs." [ ght laughter ] oh, my god, rudy, clean your glasses. [ laughter and applaus [ light laughter ] california will vote on a proposal this fall that would spli pieces.te into three they'll be called california, ni northern calif and sad thin people. [ laughter ] scientists in germany have programmed a robot to hug humans, due to research showing hugs can reduce stress and help stave off illness. which is the most german reaction to that news. [ light laughter ] [ german accent ] "oh, you need a hug? obme here. let me build you a. the robot will hug you now."er
[ laug "i will not hug you. the robot."ug [ light er ] the cheesecake factory has been e fined $4.6 million for w violations with their janitorial staff. and now to save money, they have to remove the last 40 pages of their menu. [ laughter ] and finally, aording to cnn, over 800 people in central florida were stung by jellyfish this week. "i'm on my way," said r. kelly. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ondies and gentlemen, we have a great show for youht. she's a fantastic actress and stars in the new film "a kid like jake." he claire danes i, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] he is a very funny comedian and his new movie,thtag", is out weekend. my friend hannibal buress is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and we have music from the fantastic amber mark. so, you're here on a wonderful night. [ cheers and applause ]
now, every night here at the show i deliver a monologue, like i just delivered. it's comprised ojokes written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, though, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight, white male would be difficult for me to deliver. but we don't think that should stop you from enjoying them. so we'd like to share them with you now in a segment called "jokes seth can't tell." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: these are two of our writers, amber and jenny. and we're both women. >> seth: and i'm not! so i'll read the setups for these jokes and amber and jenny wi read the punchlines. here we go. starbucks has discontinued its gluten-free breakfast sandwich. >> "that's the worst thing >> seth: a lesbian-led event called the dyke march will be held next saturday in new york city. >> so if you see a bunch of
lesbians marching, that's the army.la hter ] >> hey, can i go to the march? >> sure! it's byob. bring your own birkenstocks. [ light laughter ] >> seth: according to bloomberg, the price of chicken wings has llen to a four-year low. >> said black people, "it's a trap!" [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, "it's a trap." like admiral ackba >> yeah, only i knew it as admiral blackbar. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] according to a new study, lesbians may be more likely to develop type-two diabetes an raight women. >> hmm, i wondea what they're ng. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: prince harry and meghan markle broke with adition and served a lemon elderflower cake at the royal wedding. >> yeah, that's how they broke with tradition. [ laughter ] >> seth: hey, amber, would you ever want to be a princess? >> no! >> seth: why not? >> because i'm not interested in
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: please, please don't encourage this. [ light laughter ] >> cut back to me! [ light laughter ] >> seth: no, hey! [ laughter ] a popular gay blog recently published an article titled "these are the best lesbian sex positions." >> coming in at number one -- whatever lets you finish in time to watch rachel maddow. [ laughter ] >> seth: hey, jenny, what is the best position for lesbians? >> shortstop.[ ughter ] >> seth: a white yale -- a white yaletudent recently called the police when she found a black yale student sleeping in the common room of their dm. >> said the black student, "hey, college did prepare me for real life." ] [ audience o >> seth: hey, amber -- >> where ithe lie?
>> seth: hey, amber, what do you think is the hardest thing about albeing a black student at >> being confused for the other black student at yale. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, right, right. a lesbian press in michigan recently won four publishing awards. >> a lesbian press is also the technical term for a firm handshake. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so, jenny, do lesbians really have firm handshakes? [ cracking ] oh! [ audience ohs ] oh, jenny. [ light laughter ] >> hey, seth, why don't you tell one? >> seth: oh, you guys know i couldn't! >> oh, come on, buddy. list one! >> seth: oh, i fee if i do one i'll get in trouble! >> come on, just do it. >> seth: okay?omise it'll go >> pinky swear. [ cracking ] >> seth: oh! [ light laughter ] damnit! >> it's a trap! [ light laughter ] >> seth: a little -- you're a little late admiral blackbar. ] [ light laught >> admiral blackbar is always late. [ light laughter ] that's how you know he's admiral blackbar. [ light laughter ] seth, dang, will you tell a joke? >> seth: all right, geez! [ light laughter ]
the former ceo -- [ light laughter ] the former ceo of jc penney has been tap become the new head of lowe's home improvement. so if you shop at jc pand you shop at lowe's, you're a lesbian. [ light laughter ] >> seth, no! >> seth: why? that was exactly what you were doing! >> very bad. >> seth: try again. >> okay. >> seth: jennifer aniston will y lesbian president in an upcoming netflix movie. a lesbian president is like a regular president, except she takes her meetings in the oral office. [ laughter ] >> seth, how dare you? >> seth: you told me it would be okay!d >> you sho ashamed of yourself! >> how dare you? >> set you black women and you lesbians are liars! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] give it up for these two. we'll be right back with claire des. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
security: boarding passes out. sorry, one second it's loading, look. security: let's speed this up please. security: thank you. ♪ uh! ♪ can we fix this phone tonight? it's really slow. you can turn off the performance management feature. battery throttling. or you could just upgrade it. ♪ the super fast galaxy s9. available now.
sought-after touring and session musician who is currently out with justin timberlake on his "man of the woods" tour. for more information go to bfmworld.com, brian frasier-moore is here, everybody. >> thank you seth. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> seth: our first guest tonight is an emmy and golden globe-winning actress you know from the hit showtime series "homeland." she stars in a new film "a kid like jake" which is in theaters and available on demand. let's take a look. >> you know that i care very deeply about jake which is why i'm doing everything in my power to place him somewhere where he feels safe and comfortable enough to -- >> to dress like a girl. >> okay. >> that's obviously what you're saying. >> alex. >> and maybe the problem is that we all started pitching him as some kind of -- >> alex, he had no idea what was in that essay. >> it doesn't matter. obviously, it's going to effect the way that people treat him. >> i'm talking about him feeling safe and respected. >> seth: please welcome back to the show claire danes, every e. [ cheers and applause ]
♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> s h: welcome back. >> thank you so much for having me. >> seth: it is -- first of all, congratulations, you have a baby on the way. es, yes, yes. >> seth: very exciting. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] yes. pro creation is under way. >> seth: it is under way. >> yh. >> seth: and you were actually -- you presented at "the tonys" on sunday night. >> i did. i did. >> seth: and how was that? how was that experience? i >> you knowas -- it was -- it was fun until i had to do the actual job of esenting. becaus backstage. was sat and they called me. and i stood up.o and i went and do my little spiel, read the monitor and stuff and this hapo me sometimes. like i'm still pretty active when i take my soulcycle class and everything but occasionally, i'll stand up and get profoundly winded. >> seth: uh-huh. [ light laughter ]wa >> and thione of those occasions. and i was like, "oh, my god.
i don't have access to oxygen. [ light laughter ] like at all. and i'm supposed to be reading in front of thousands of people. in fact, millions of people." d , yeah, i eventually like recovered and fo breath. but i couldn't stop and say, "sorry, guys, i'm just really pregnant now." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i didn't want to detract from the nominees. you know? >> seth: yeah. >> it wasn't about me being pregnant in that sond. but -- >> seth: well it's interesting because i was watching. >> yeah. >> seth: and i did not put the two together. >> well, thank you for that. >> seth: and i had a moment, though of -- >> my husband did. he was there. and he was conceed. cause i've seen that happen to you sometimes when you go up and down our stairs.t you know, [ laughter ] >> seth: i wasn't concerned. i just thought, "wow, claire iso so excited this award." [ laughter ] "she's so --" >> well, i was. >> seth: yeah. >> but, you know, hoy excitement translates, you know, in a slightly different way.et >> do you think that your shortness of breath then was exacerbated by the fact that you then had to speak on television? >> maybe -- >> seth: yeah. >> they had something to do with eah: other. >> seah. >> but i've spoken on television before. >> seth: right, sure.
>> i mean for a few years now. s h: yeah. >> so i think pregnancy was the thing. >> seth: that was the main thing? yeah. >> but, yeah, so, anyway. >> seth: anyway. >> there are humbling moments. >> seth: well, i also think that would be a nice thing to tie back for your child years om w, that you could show them exactly what they did to you. >> what, what this person has cost me. >> seth: yeah. >> oh, yeah. the list is long -- >> seth: yeah. >> already. >> seth: oh. not been born yet. >> seth: but just for you to be able to be like, "don't make me show you 'the tonys' again! [ laughter ] go to your room!" you ha a five-year-old. >> i do. >> seth: how -- what is his reaction so far to the idea of an oncoming sibling? >> he's pretty -- i think he's keen. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean he's mostly enthusiastic. f i mean when st told him i was pregnant, he said, "that took a long time, mom. [ laughter ] that took a lot of days." and i was like, "okay. yeah, we've been working on it." but so, yeah, so i guess he was into it. but then there was like a little wobble. and then, he was worried that i was going to love the baby more than him. and then anybody who walked through the door, i was -- i loved more than him, you know.
but he seems to have gotten rough that, too. and now he hugs me belly. >> seth: that's really great. >> and it's sweet. but i think it's going to go up and down. >> seth: yeah. >> how's your baby with number two? >> seth: well, it's a difference in age. yours is five now. >> five, yeah. he's like a person>> eth: the two-year-old doesn't -- you know, i don't think he quite understands -- >> right. >> seth: jealousy yet -- >> okay. >> seth: as an emotion. >> well, that's -- >> seth: but i think it's coming. >> yeah.ut >> seth:ostly, he just thinks -- he treats the two-month-old like a joke. every time -- >> right. >> seth: you say, "look, it's your baby." he's like -- [ laughter ]>> ell, yeah. i mean it kind of is. >> seth: yeah. >> they're useless -- >> seth: oh. >> for a rlly long time. seth: and the second one -- >> yeah. >> seth: is really useless. >> really useless. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: cause the first one, at least, is interesting in the way like watching "planet earth" is interesting. >> right, rit, right. >> seth: you're like, "oh, wow, they do this. and they do that." but now you're like, "i don't innt to watch that episode of 'planet earth' a >> yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: so he's great. >> yeah. >> seth: but you kind of are -- i still feel like it's a previet to a movie i elly will want to see. >> right. okay. >> seth: yeah. >> well, i'm prepare >> seth: yeah, good.
you -- so this movie is adapted from a play -- >> yeah. >> seth: that i saw back in new york when it was here.ut and it's aarents trying to get -- for those who couldn't tell from the clip, their kid in school. tell us a little more about it. >> yeah, well -- i mean it's parents are trying to get thei four and a half-year-old kid into school. this four and a half-year-old kid happento love wearing esses. and is sort of obsessed with all things princess. and it's becoming clear that 's maybe ot conforming to these strict gender norms. he's gender fluid, eve. the language is intense right now. t yeah -- so -- and so they have a friend who is an educator. and as they're applying to schools, suggests that maybe they make more of this fact rather than less. and suddenly they're just inking of him in these different terms. and they're -- i don't know. they become kind of anxious that he's going to be labeled by society. and it's reallcalled "a kid like jake" but the emphasis isn't so much on the kid. itst really the parents and this crisis that they're kind of -- they spiral into.
but ultimately, i mean, it's really just kind of a portrait of a marriage and a family. and it's about parents just trying to figure out the best way to understand who their child is and help them navigate their way through the rld. so i think in some ways it's really specific and it's this very topical idea of gender nd identityolitics. but it's also just about, yo know, releasing your children into the world and trusting that they're going to be fine. seth: yes. and it's crazy but as you know, i didn't -- i always thought when people with kids, especially kids in new york city, talked about azhools and how crazy it was, i thought, "oh, how could it be?" >> oh, no, it's crazy. >> seth: and then you go through it and you're like, "oh, it's crazy." >> oh, yea s it's crazy. h: especially when people say things to you like, "well, where --what do you think they're going to be -- what kind of job do you think they're gointo want to have?" you're like, "oh, i really don't know." [ laughter ] yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: i mean blocks, is t t [ laughter ] >> yes. >> seth: yeah, construction. y h, no, it's pretty outrageous. it's true. and you try to me these inferences and kind of project, you know, 20 years into the future. and everything seems wildly consequential if you don't get
them into the kindergarten, you know, the right kindergarten, their fate is destroyed forevermore. and it's simmer down, folks. i mean it's new york city. so -- >> seth: well -- so -- but it's nice because this is -- i do think the takeaway from this work is like that you doeed to simmer down a little bit. you obviously, from "homeland," which is aeal simmer-up show. [ laughter ] i mean, does this qualy as just a -- i mean it must feel like a completely different genre for you. >> well, yeah. totally. and we had the pofmiere a couple eeks ago. and my friends came and they were angry with me when the movie had ended. because it's actually quite emionally charged. >> seth: sure. >> and they were like, "you told us this was a comedy." [ laughter ] and i was like, "but i smile sometimes." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> and the stakes are, like, pretty human to scale. these aren't, you know, cities aren't being destroyed. d. seth: so it's a comedy compared to "homel >> everything is a farce. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> compared to "homeland." perspective is just so -- seth: oh my god. after "homeland," i watched s
"handmaile" and i laugh. [ laughter ] oh, i laugh. anything other than "homeland." but this is so exciting. you're -- it's starting your eighth season -- >> yeah. >> seth: of the show. >> right? >> seth: i mean, that is just amazing. [ cheers and applause ]t. >> that's a that's a lot of years. >> seth: it's a lot of years. o now -- is there a situati where people -- because, obviously the show is about geopolitical things at a time el where i ike people are thinking about geopolitical is es maybe more so than wh the show started. i feel like the show started as like, "hey, remember how we werr all thinking a/11?" >> right. >> seth: it was like the catalyst of the show. and now, it's like, 'remember how all thinking today?" do people think you are as plugged in as your character? >> totally. boy, are they mistaken. [ light laughter ] but, yeah, no, a dad from my son's school stopped me the other day and said, "oh, i was googling, for some weird reason, like women geniuses and your name came up.
and apparently you, claire danes, have an iq of 157." and i was like, "no, no, no, no, no. [ cheers and applause ] no, i play a genius on t television. [ laughter ] i am no genius." but i'll take it. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean the genius part not the -- >> seth: yeah. i have -- i have ten follow-ups for ther who was googling women geniuses. [ laughter ] >> i was very endeared towards him. i was like, "thank you for having that interest." >> seth: that seems like what you panic google when someone walks in. >> right. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: what are yog at your computer? oh, women geniuses! ooh, madam currie. >> anyway -- seth: oh, i do want to ask this because, you know, we were talking about your son getting ready to meet his sibling, your son in t film is that age. >> yes, yes. >> seth: so did your real child meet your ting -- >> absolutely. >> seth: your fake child? >> they got to be friends. and he would come hang out with me and also who played jake.i s a little bit nervous that cyrus might get jealous --
>> seth: sure. >> of this actor.an i o, not at all. no problem whatsoever. he was like, "where is the other guy?" [ laughter ] but they played duck, duck goose in between takes. it was very sweet. >> seth: that's great. >> it was really nice. it was kind of like a mind -- you know, it was a -- it was just a confronting melding of reality and fiction, but in a very sweet way. >> seth: that's good. and i think that speaks to the a facthe hopefully won't be a jealous kid. i think he'll be good with his sibling. if he can be googawith a dopper -- [ laughter ] >> yeah with my false, pretend child. yeah, we'll see. i'll keep you posted. >> seth: okay, thank you so much. you shothis in location at new york city public schools. >> i did. >> seth: that's also quite a fr departur "homeland." >> yes. >> seth: yeah. >> yes, that's true. >> seth: did youglrefer the less etrotting? being in a school -- >> well, it was nice -- it was nice to be home. >> seth: yeah. >> and film -- yeah, at home. but our holding areas were funny because, you know, i was seated in chairs that were six sizes too small for me. getting touched up in ke, a you know, a little chair. but it was cute. and i jog.
i don't jog these days so much. >> seth: uh-huh. l >> but i woue jog home from work and go across the brooklyn bridge. it was nice. >> seth: tt's really great. >> yeah. >> seth: do people recognize you when you jog? >> i don't know. i'm moving pretty fast. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> i was moving fast. >> seth: that's the ke yeah, right, right. >> not so much anymore. >> seth: right now, you would -- i would've -- you get a lot of, "hey, claire!" >> yeah. >> seth: "claire, you shouldn't be running."ea >> it's not an option anymore. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. it's always such a pleasure to f here. >> thank you so mu having me. >> seth: congrats on the film. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: claire danes, everybody! "a kid like jake" is iters and available on demand. we'll be right back with hannal buress. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ jump into summer! the entire store is on sale up to fifty percent off,
♪ honestly... honestly... honestly... we should've used a condom but we got distracted. i know i should get tested for hiv but honestly i'm afraid to find out. honestly, we've been together for a while so getting tested never really crossed my mind. honestly, no one wants to think about hiv. but there are things that everyone can do to help protect their sexual health. condoms are a great start. get tested. and ask a healthcare provider about all of your prevention options. because honestly... our health is worth protecting.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a comedian and actor you know from films such as "blockers," and rs "neigh and comedy central's "broad city." he stars in "tag," which is in theaters friday. please welcome back to the show, our friend, hannibal buress, everyone. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> what's up? >> seth: great to see you buddy.
>> good to see you too >> seth: it's been a while since you were here because last time you were here we were expecting our first child -- >> yeah. >> seth: and you gave me some baby name advice. >> yea? what did i s [ light laughter ] >> seth: you said the key to naming a kid is to give them a bunch of middle names so that if they don't like their first name, they have options. [ lit laughter ] >> that's just a theory. i don't have any kids, man. [ laughter ] >> seth: i want to run the new name by you. axel, what do you think of axel as a name? >> axel sounds like a fraternity leader. >> seth: yeah. >> that -- [ laughter ] axel that's a strong name. you a big -- >> seth: yeah, i think he'll stick with it. i don't think he'll middle name it. >> "beverly hills cop" fan? >> seth: yes. that's right. my wife was a huge "beverly hills cop" fan. [ laughter ] i wanted foley, and she wanted axel. >> yeah, hey compromise. >> seth: we came togethe >> compromise. >> seth: so it's always so good to see you. you came up with a genius idea. >> yeah. >> seth: and obviously, beg a performer, being a stand-up, important to get your name out there. >> yeah. >> seth: and so you decided the way to get your name out there was to sponsor an mma fighter. >> i did. i did. [ laught ]
>> seth: now?are you eating >> i got popcorn. you got good snacks back there. [ laughter ] >> seth: you -- wait, so you put popcorn in your breast pocket? where -- where was i supposed to put it? >> seth: yeah, no. [ laughter ] >> this jacket -- this jacket doesn't have regular pockets for some reason. i don't know. [ light laughter ] so yeah, i put it in my shirt -- >> seth: okay. >> so yeah. i went to this fight, and i saw these othepeople with banners, and they had their names on the fighters' banners, and they ren't that exciting. they would be like toyota dealerships, >> seth: yeah. >> and i was like, as city toyota dealership is sponsoring a fighter. i can definitely sponsor a fighter. [ light laughter ] so i reached out to this fighter, and asked if i could d onsor, and put my face, website on her outfit, and they were like yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so here is the fighterp yosored in her hannibal buress outfit. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so -- alright.
so, did she win her fight? >> she didn't fi--t because sh you know, they have to cut weight. >> seth: yeah. >> for the fight, and so s missed weight by a little bit. it's a tough process, cutting weight. so, unfortunately she wasn't ableo make it, but that was tough for me, and so i didn't want to have that happen again. so -- >> seth: oh right, now do you lose your money? are you just -- when you sponsor a fighter who doesn't fight? >> i didn't lose the money, but i lost that outfit. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> i asked them. i said, can you send that outfin backthey were like nah. [ laughter ] i was like why not? you didn't fight in the outfit and they just won't send back the outfit. i was like, i'll send you the fedex envelope. just give me the outfit back. [ light laughter ] whatever. >> seth: alright, so how did you get around the second time out? >> so second time, i waited about a year. so this year i said, you know what. that happened.t i dont that to happen again. i learned from my mistakes. so, i said i'm going to escalate. so, i hit up the promotion, invicta fighting championships is the name of it. and i asked if i could just sponsor the whole thing,onnd put my fache mat. [ light laughter ] that way no matter what happens, i'll be onhere.
>> seth: so there's a fight that actually happened. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]i an -- i mean the best part about this is that you're actually looking at where the action is. >> yeah, i'm right there.ou i'm like, wow,ll should relax. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you know, you don'ty look like a o is in a ring. you look very laid back for what's happening.ea >> laid back. you got to just have balance for the situation, but that's pretty -- that's exciting. >> seth: have you -- y do you feel li have more of a profile now after doing this? >> no, not a it was -- [ laughter ] i just did it for fun. it was just really exciting to watcn' it w-- it was no return on investment. it wasust purely for love of the game, and i'm happy about it. yeah. >> seth: and for some fighters, you know, their whole life you will be tied to their memo. >> right. >> seth: of that -- you know, i'll never forget. i pinned her, looked over and there was hannibal. k there was hannibal right there, with a blare. [ laughter ]
fighting is tough though.k i thout older fighters. like when, you know, they get into their 40s, it's tough for them versus athletes in other sports. because you talk about, like a basketball player that gets to be 40, they lower his minutes. they say okay, you're old. you're tired. so we're only going to play you 20 minutes, but if you're an old fighter, there's no relaxed version of fighting. it's just still somebody else ying to punch you in the face. i got to -- i'm going to knock your old ass out. laughter ] there's no easy version of being old. you just like got to get bin damage. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, they don't say -- well, you're goiin to come out he first round, and the third round. >> yeah, there's none of that. you could be a relief pitcher -- ke okay, you can't pitch the full game. just come in for the fifth and the sixth, but old fighter. no, got to kick you in the face old man. [ light it's the name of the game. >> seth: i would argue too, in this kind of fighting, i bet 30 is old, right? i mean -- >> 30 -- yeah. getting into the 30s, it's tough, man. >> seth: it is a tough game. >> it's tough. yeah. >> seth: whereas you and i, we uld do this forever.
>> it's just talking. >> seth: just talking, and eating popcorn out of yo >> yeah! [ laughter ] eating popcorn out of your coat. you sit down, you don't even stand up! [ laughter ] >> seth: i got out of that -- [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, you got out of -- you -- i don't even want to stand up for my monologue anymore.>> eth: i was like, i'm 40. i want to sit down. you -- speaking though, of working out you have been working out more. you have been trying to get in shape. >> trying to get healthy man. >> seth: you look good, man. >> thank you. i stopped drinking, started going to the gym. it's been nice yeah, i been going -- i like group fitness. i can't work out solo. >> seth: oh, so you've got to be part of the whole team. >> i need some music. yeah. it could be terrible music because then i just envision myself like once you get in shape, you won't have to listen to this anymore. [ laughter ] you have to listen to this terrible music because you're n't, but once trim up you have to hear this anymore. [ laughter ] but, yeah, i go -- i like cycling. yo seth: okay. >> cause you cli feet into the -- and i think psychologically that
makes you do it. i makes it tougher to bail cause you're likn't want to unlock and leave. leave the cycling studio.re it's dark in t you let all the light in. and everybody just sees you fail. ] [ laught bright light. but some of the weird because they put your performance up on the screen. i >> seth: ait about how many miles you went? >> revolutions per minute, and power. s h: yeah. >> and they put your name, and bike number up there on the screen for everybody to see. it's super embarrassing. [ laughter ] now these suburban white ladies think they crushed donald glover in spin class. [ laughter ] [ applause ]se it's dark in tooms. >> seth: yeah. >> put whatever name. >> seth: you put whatever name you want. >> put whatever name. etslip out. >> you're -- you're going to vacation. where are you going? you're going to thailand, brazil? >> going to thailand. yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> i've never been before. have you ever been? >> seth: i've never been to thailand, no. >> yeah, i'm going to go over there. i'g to try to train muay thai kick boxing. >> seth: oh, so you're going to go exercise on vacation. >> yeah, cause i want some structure. want to just lay on the
beach. well, i do want to lay on the beach, but i want to have some structure to feel like i earned laying on the beach.h. >> seth: y >> yeah. >> seth: i'm waiting -- some of the best vacations, my wife and i would go hiking whict was one best vacations. cause you would, you know get a whole day of -- be like walking. ex yeah. >> seth: you feecise, and then at the end of the day you'd eat pasta. it would be great. >> yeah, chill out. yeah, i haven't been to thailand before. i've been to japan. >> seth: did you -- have you performed in japan? >> i did a stand-up show in japan, but you wouldn't be able to tell. if you took a picture of the show you wouldn't be able to tell it was in japan. it was a bunch of, i guess they call them -- they say, ex-pat >> seth: yeah. >> but that's just -- that's just immigrants. [ laughter ] but when there's white people in an asian country they call them ex-pats. [ lahter ] we're ex-pats. no, you're immigrants, but you've just got a fancy word now. expatriates. no! [ light laughter ] g u're -- you're just a workmigrant. [ laughter ]ha >> seth:s true. they fancied it up. >> yeah. >> seth: that's not fair at all. >> not at all. >> seth: i want to ask about ." this movie, "t >> "tag." >> seth: this is a true life
story about real guys who've had a game of tag going fo 40 years. >> yeah. >> seth: right? >> 40, 30, 40 years. yeah. >> seth: yeah, and what did you think when you first heard this was a real thing guys were doing? >> i was like, sure. >> seth: yea >> people -- you think this is weird? >> no. i do "the eric andre show," that's weird. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: that's true. yeah. >> that's weird. game of tag. that's easy. that's simple. >> seth: that's true, yeah. eric andre -- doin"eric andre" has really raised your bar for what counts as weird. >> yeah, for what counts as weirth this is g. >> seth: so, i want to ask about -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i want to ask about this. because this happens a lot to actors.al actors come onshows. there's a clip. i want to show a clip from "tag." >> yeah. >> seth: but you guys don't get to choose the clip >> we don't. >> seth: often times it's a surprise to you waght before you out. >> right. but i saw what clip they -- i wa clip. have input on a because i feel like i'm the nge here talki. >> seth: alright so -- t me show -- i'll show the clip they sent first, and then we'll show what you suggested. >> all right. >> seth: all right.
so first. here is the clip they sent for hannibal in "tag." >> i got pizza [ bleep ] for my pizza roll boys. >> oh. pizza rolls. >> is that marijuana i smell? >> what? >> it's my pot. i'm really sorry. >> oh, so it's your weedie? i think i'm getting a contact high. >> okay. >> hits me deep below the belt. you know? i've got a belt upset. i use it on naughty little boys. [ light laughter ] >> well it was really nice speaking with you, thank you for the pizza rolls. >> what the [ bleep ] is with him? >> seth: okay. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: notea bad clip. >> that's why -- i didn't want to -- >> seth: alright so, so you -- ow what you wanted to, or you want to explain what you wanted first? >> show what i want to do. >> seth: okay, so i would say -- i would say -- he's in he new film "tag" here is a clip. >> ooh, pizza rolls. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> just gets to the point.
>> seth: yeah. >> you don't want to spoil too much of the movie. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> you're like, oh he izza rolls. i'd go see that. [ laughter ] ist 90 minutes of everybod saying pizza rolls, i feel like that creates mystery. like, what is that about? i got to see it. pizza rolls. yeah. >> sh: you have a new television show idea. >> i have a new pizza show idea. >> seth: and you're going to pitch it for us here. >> yeah. >> seth: okay great. >> it's a man on the street show. it's called "hey, come here!" [ lahter ] >> set okay, all right. >> yeah, so i just stand out on the street in a high foot traffic area, and i yell to people, hey, come here! [ laughter ] then they come over here and i y, what are your biggest regrets in life? [ laughter ] and they tell me, and then i s all right, now go over there. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so you're a mthe street. you're very static in this. >> yeah. >> seth: you don't have to move around at all? >> yeah. >> seth: cause like billy eichner runs around new york city. >> he runs around. it's the opposite. i'm grounded. >> seth: yeah.
>> come here! now go over there. 1,000 episodesyblet's go evy! yeah. >> seth: i love it. >> yeah. >> seth: i'm on board.ve t up for hannibal buress, everybody! "tag" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with more "late nit." pizza rolls! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we've got something borrowed, something blue, we still need something old.ul you use my phone. or mine. you need the new iphone and you deserve it
er on the best network, von. camera's amazing. and now you can get a great deal at verizon. oh, i can see the position is already filled.. (avo) it'sime to switch to verizon buy the latest iphone and get iphone 8 on us.pl , get the best unlimited, starting at $40 per line for four lines. because unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. do not mistake serenity for weakness. do not misjudge quiet tranquility for the power of 335 turbo-charged horses. the lincoln mkx, more horsepower than the lexus rx350. and a quiet interior from which to admire them.
you guys don't have fios? [mrs. jennings] oh-no. but it's a 100% fiber-optic network with ridiculous speeds. you could have, like, a hundred devices online at once. interested, talk later. bye boys! don't even think about going online. woah... i can't work like this. the 100% fiber-optic network means more speed for more devices at once. so get a fios triple play with a 2-year agreement, and choose a free samsung chromebook 3 or credit towards other samsung tech.
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back to the show, everybody.ly receome people have been saying that comedy is becoming to vulgar these days. here to talk abot is self-proclaimed clean comic max frank, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you for having me, seth. om seth: so max you call yourself a clean? >> that's right, seth. i believe you lan make people h without cursing or being racessively dirty. i like to really a joke and get a big laugh without having to go blue. >> seth: okay, so your routine is completely family friendly? >> yes. yes.d get huge laughs without being crass. you know the kind of crass comedian i'm talking about? it's all "f" this and "a" that
and stick it in my "g." [ light laughter ] >> seth: "g?" y know, seth, "g." stick it in my "g."ap i want to our "g" with my "a." [ light laughter ] >> seth: i have no idea what you're talking about. >> clean comedy, seth. i'm talking about clean comedy. >> seth: sure, sure. >> alright, take this joke for examplh. >> seth: uh- >> knock knock. >> seth: who's there? >> you. >> seth: you who? >> yoo-hoo, seth, look at me. i'm putting my big fat "k" in your tiny little "e." [ laughter ] >> seth: so it seems like all you're doing is just replacing the bad words with their first letter. but, and i got to be honest here, i don't know what those bad words are.ht [ la ] >> okay, yeah. but i didn't use a single curse word. the laugh comes from the joke and not having to say things like, "'gd' this." or "'wt' that." >> seth: "wt?" >> yeah, "wt."he likewt'd" the "f" out of that g." >> seth: okay, man, i -- [ laughter ] i still don't know what "g" is. >> ah, yeah, you don't know what a "g" is. right. >> seth: i swear i don't. >> alright, you know -- and
clean comedy work for political humor too.et >> uh-huh. >> let me give you an example. >> seth: okay. >> in a press conference today, sarah huckabee sanders told reporters that they could all go "v" themselves in their "hs." and then, they told her to go "dk" herself where the sun don't shine. >> seth: yeah, see, i don't see hothat was a joke. laughter ] >> right. alright, you didn't let me say the punchline. >> seth: alright, go ahe. >> and then she "w'd" all over their wet "ks." [ laughter ] s h: see, i've got to be honest, that sounds super dirty to me. >> yeah, okay.se but i didn'tny bad words. how could it be dirty? mean, i could have said, "she 'b'd' the 't' in the 'q' so hard, it broke her 'g.'" >> seth: you know man? i would love to know what "g" is. [ laughter ] >> alright. >> seth: [ bleep ] [ laughter ] seth, language! >> seth: max frank, everyone! give it up for max frank. [ cheers and applause ] moving on, very excited about this, you can catch my next
guest performing this turday at the ha-ha factory in des moines, iowa. please welcome, oh boy, max frank. [ cheers and applause ]ou >> thankverybody. [ cheers and applause ] hello. how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers ] well, have you heard about this g7 meeting? well if i had seven "gs," i'd smack them with my "a" a my stinky "js" every night of my life. >> seth: alright, give it up for max frank, everybody! we'll be right back with music from amber mark. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ does this make you want a reese's?
oh, how about this? ok, we'll stop. just kidding, we're not gonna stop. not sorry. reese's dave, i think they want everyone to try some. dave, this is bordering on inconsiderate. yup, tastes just like us. aww, c'mon. gee, this is why you weren't my best man, dave. it's really good. mhmm. mangoes agree. snapple mango tea tastes just like them.
so you can find four star hotels at two star prices. h-o-t-w-i-r-e hotwire.com wearing powerful sunscreen? yes! neutrogena® ultra sheer. unbeatable protection helps prevent early skin aging and skin cancer with a clean feel. the best for your skin. ultra sheer®. neutrogena®. ♪ carefully made to be broke new, from magnum.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my next guest is a talented songwriter and producer, and one of 2018's breakout musical acts, making her television debut performing "love me right." give it up for amber mark, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ tell me because i've said it all i've got a feeling we must've hit a wall ♪ ♪ here and baby boy please tell me like it is cause ya talk love but ya never act on it ♪ ♪ because the driveal it ie and honey it is calling you ♪ ♪ and i am done with tryie to hide it b i need more from you ♪
♪ so could you please respond to me because i'll never understand ♪ ♪ i give you the keys and while you gladly take you don't use them ♪ ♪ you tell me all the time baby that i'm the light in your life ♪ ♪ and you love me more each day you are starting to drivee crazy ♪ ♪ why won't you realize you gotta love me ♪ ♪ help me i feel ve lost myself it's just this one thing we're great everywhere else ♪ ♪ or is it just me i ot what you wantca e if that's the case baby why lead mon ♪ ♪ because the drive it is alive and honey it is callinyou ♪
♪ and i am done with trying to hide it babe i need more from you ♪ ♪ so could you please respond to me because i'll never understand ♪ ♪ i give you the keys and while you gladly take you don't use them ♪ w ♪ w't you tell me all the time babyat 'm the light in your life ♪ob ♪ s doop boop boop boop boop baby ♪ou ♪ y are starting to drive me crazy yeah ♪ ♪ why won't you realize you gotta love me right baby you tell me all ehe time baby ♪ ♪ come on you in the zone i need you here right next to me ♪ l♪ i'm the light in youre and you love me more each day ♪ you are starting to drive me crazy come on get off your phone i need to feel your body ♪ ♪ why won't you realize you gotta love me ♪h
♪ oh oh o i'm the light in your life come on now baby yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ yeah baby why won't you realize ♪ ♪ you gotta my baby u gotta love on me love on me you love me ♪ ♪ love on me love on me you love me ♪ ♪ i'm the light in your life baby love on me love on m you love me ♪ ♪ and you love me love me love me more each day ♪ ♪ love on me love on me love on me love on me love on me love on you love on me ♪ ♪ love on me baby love on me baby ♪hy ♪on't you realize you gotta love me right yeah right right ♪ ♪ ♪ ooh love [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: amber mark, everyone!ne
for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise their rates because of their first accident. liberty stands with you. liberty mutual insurance. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks tai danes, hannibal buress, amber mark, everyone!rs [ chnd applause ] great job, again. brian frasier-moore and, of course, the 8g band. t sted for carson daly. see you tomorrow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: hey, what's up everybody? you're watching "last call." i'm carson daly. thanks for being here. this is our home tonight, hyde sunset in hollywood. awesome place. let's get to it. tonight, we've got in our