tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC June 15, 2018 11:34pm-12:38am EDT
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 885. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is a fantastic friday night crowd! welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." thank you so much for being here.nd [ cheerspplause ] hey, guys. father's day is this sday. that's right. [ cheers and applause ]
father's day.ca it's that maday when you call dad for ten seconds of small talk before he goes, "hold on, i'll get your mother." [ laughter and applause ] that's right day, father's day m ist here. but if you forgot about father's day don't worry, your dad probably forgot too. [ laughter and applause ] so don't worry, it's not a -- guys, this is big. c the fifa wor just got under way in russia. [ cheers and applause ] and i saw that their official mascot is a wolf. it's a little cartoon wolf named zabiva. [ light laughter ] zabivaka. check him out. look at it. there is. laughter ] yeah, it turns out zabivaka is russian for "putin captured me on aunting trip, please help." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, myi od. >> jimmydn't know that. yeah. shorter word. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: zabivaka. >> steve: zabivaka. >> jimmy: yeah. when he saw the mascot, trump was like, "he's a mashup of my two favorite things. russia and paw patrol." [ laughter and applause ] you watch "paw patrol"? hey guys. heres some happy news right now. i read that today is smile power day. [ cheers and applause ]
yeah, smile. smile power day is a holiday that is celebrated every yea on june 15th. and the goal is to get people to embrace smiling and share their smiles with the people in their lives and in general, just to try to- >> oh, did you say smile power day? i love smile power day. >> jimmy: sorry, who said that? >> i did. i'm nathaniel botchkins, pro audience member. [ light laughter ] i'm sorry to interrupt. i just got so excited to hear you talk about smile power day.t my favorite holiday. smiling is the best. i love doing it. [ light lauger ] >> jimmy: no way. i love smiling, too. rylight laughter ] hey, you want tomiling together right now? >> no duh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ready? one, two, three. [ light laughter ] ♪
[ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] that was great. happy smile power day, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] and finally, as i mentioned earlier, this sunday is father's dads are the best. happy father's day, dad. and in honor of all the great fathers out there we asked you to send in videos of your kids answering some questions about their dads. questions like what's your dad's job? what makes your dad grumpy? l got a lot of great answers. so now, let's takek at some of our favorites. it's time for "that's my dad." ♪ ♪ that's my dad that's my dad ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> what is your dad's favorite thing to do? >> talk about cars and annoy us. il>> spend time with his f >> go in his office. >> yelling. >> drink beer and ride bikes.
[ light laughter ] >> what is your daddy's job? >> managing buildings. >> managing buildings, okay. >> and unplugging toilets. [ laughter ] >> daddy making the big bucks. >> daddy's making the big bucks? >> what makes your dad grumpy? >> well, my mom sometimes makes my dad grumpy. [ laughter ]t >> w your dad's favorite song? >> "straight outta compton." [ laughter ] >> "gucci gang." >> what's something ur dad always says? >> no. >> no. [ light laughter ] >> the f word. [ laughter ] >> what is your dad's biggest secret?>> hat i'm his favorite. >> i'm his favorite. >> that i'm his favorite. >> he said it to me. >> every single night, he says that to me. >> what's your dad's biggest secret? >> i think he almost got run over by jennifer aniston. [ laughter ] >> what does your dad like to wear? >> d.j. shirts. >> d.j. shirts?
>> that mes skeleton! [ light laughter ] >> what es daddy like to wear? >> mommy's clothes? [ laughter and applause ] >> why does daddy love you? >> because i'm in his family. >> we're his daughters and we are the only person here all the time. >> is there anything else you want to say to your daddy? >> that i love him. very much. h >> and i favorite. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody. ee [ ch and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, welcome. be sure to check us out next week. jared leto w we love jared leto.
[ cheers and applause ] whoopi goldberg. robert pattinson will be joing us. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have performances fr alessia cara and dave matthews band. [ cheers and applause ] dave matthews band!: >> steme on. >> jimmy: but first, we have another fun show tonight. she's got a brand new talk show called "red table talk."th jada pinkett ss here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] "red table talk." on facebook watch. it's good. plus, from the giant new movie "jurassic world: fallen kingdom," brycdallas howard is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we have great stand-up from the very funny nikki glaser is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we love nikki glaser. guys, today is friday and that's usually when i catch up on personal stuff.u ow, i check my in-box. i return some e-mails, and of course, i send out a few thank you notes. and i was just running a bit behind. [ cheers and applause ] e thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just l write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] james, can i get some thank you
note writing music, please? ♪ [ light laughter ] there's that snarl again. ♪ [ light laughter ] it's not even intense. that's the most charming snarl i have seen ever. it's not scary at all. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, kim jong-un reang your agreement with the u.s., folooking like you just realized the kids' menu doesn't have chicken fingers. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, getting your dad a a tie for father's day, for r saying, "i donlly know what to buy you, but i do know that you have a neck." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, raptors in "jurassic park," for always looking like you're gossiping about someone at a party. [ laughter and applause ]
♪ thank you, u.s. open tphy, for letting me know what would happen if jeff sessions turned into a golf prize. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, automatic toilets, for assuming i either want to flush right before i sit down or never.rs [ chnd applause ] all right, that's -- whatever you got. ♪ nank you, brita filter, for letting me enjoye purified glass of water after waiting only 17 years. [ laughter and applause ] "almost ready, honey. kids, hold your thirst for a a second. couple black pebbles in there, who cares? it's roughage. [ light laughter ] it's roughage." ♪ thank you, charcoal, for letting me know what it looks
like when pizza rolls die. [ laughter and applause ] oh, there you go. hey, thank y those are my thank you notes. we'll be right back with jada pinkett smith, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]♪ ♪ ♪ this tastes just like i imagine phil would taste. phil in a bottle right here. it's uncanny. what ever happened to phil?
mangoes agree. snapple mango tea tastes just like them. [baby laughing] [baby crying] [baby laughing] [baby crying] [baby laughing] [baby crying] we hide hotel names, so you can find four star hotels at two star prices. ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e hotwire.com out of sunscreen, going on a targetwatermelon.ything? water please! and soda! grandpa!! got it! get low prices today and every day. targetrun and done.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first est is a a very talented actress who is also the host of her brand new talk shocalled "red table talk." weekly episodes are available now on facebook watch. please welcome jada pinkett smith. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: come on. you're t best. >> i have to give a shout-out to jaden. >> jimmy: a little shout-out to jaden. >> yes! >> jimmy: oh, man, we love you. i love you.
welcome back to the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. and congrats on everything that's going on. last time we talked, we talked about "girls trip." >> yes. >> jimmy: and then, it became the biggest movie ever in the world. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes! >> jimmy: yes,ou crushed it, n! >> and made a superstar out of my girl, tiffany. >> jimmy: tiffany haddish, man. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. ver heard of her until that movie and i saw it, and i was like, "who is this person?" >> yeah, i was definitely like that when i got to the set. >> jimmy: right? >> because i was like, "oh, okay, regina, queen." j my: right. >> i was like, and you are? >> jimmy: i know, yeah. i know, i know regina, and queen latifah -- >> yeah.wo >> jimmy: d go anywhere with queen latifah. >> that makes the two of us. >> jimmy: she's the most fun human bein ever. well, tiffany is now hosting the "mtv movie & tv awards" monday night. >> yep. >> jimmy: you going to be there? you're nominated for best movie. >> yeah. you know, i mean -- [ cheers and applaus i can't -- >> jimmy: i'm just saying -- >> i can't give you all the tea. [ laughter ] >> jimmycome one. >> can't give you all the tea. >> jimmy: spill a little bit. >> now there might be a little something at the beginning. >> >> yeah.ay, all right. >> jimmy: all right, good. is there any talk -- can you even hint at maybe is there talk of a "girls trip 2"? >> you know what, there is talk of a "girls trip 2."
>> jimmy: yes! >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dude, i want to see that. i loved it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was so funny. each one of you scored >> yeah. >> jimmy: congrats on that. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: i love you. i love your whole family. ow, i really do, because i have -- >> i know you do, jimmy. you're always so good to us. >> jimmy: if it wasn't for your family, we wouldn't even have a a show. [ laughter ]he every week we have -- jaden was on and he crushed it. >> yes. jimmy: he did something that no one has done. he performed in front of his own video. >> i know. >> jimmy: and so he's behind him doing his video, and as he's in front of it, no one ever did that before. >> it looked so good. >> jimmy: he crushed it. >> and you're just always so good to us. sohank you for that. >> jimmy: oh, stop. >> i appreciate it. >> jimmy: no, no, we -- >> really. >> jimmy: no, man, you take care of us. will? i mean, that little kid. will, is the -- right? [ light laughter ] >> yes! that one! yes. >> jimmy: that one's a -- he's the rascal, man. >> he is! >> jimmy: your husband is a a little -- yeah. he is now all over youtube and -- >> instagr. >> jimmy: instagram. dude, he's like going crazy. >> yea j he is. my: he's never been on social media. and now, he's like running around doing all these bits.
like, he's hilarious. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's like every day there's a new thing he's doing. he's jumping out of a a helicopter. >> he -- j my: on his, oh, no, are you bummed out by this? >> let me tell you something. [ light laughter ] i might have to, like, hav picket signs outside of -- you n ? >> jimmy: how did he agree to do this? >> that's the thing. he got dared. i'm like, "will, you are talking ab airplane --" >> jimmy: yeah. >> over the grand canyon -- >> jimmy: grand, over the grand -- >> for your birthday!" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that face is such a a great -- >> and i'm supposed to be okay with this? >> jimmy: you have a family, dude. e yeah, i'm like "dude, i understand you l have a a good time, but come on. >> jimmy: no, i mean, seriously, right? >> yes, but you know when op ask me what he's like, go to his instagram and there you have i that's will. >> jimmy: exactly. yeah, he's like that, right? i mean, that's funny. he can just do stuff like th. >> that's him, all day long. >> jimmy: congrats on your new show. >> thank you.is >> jimmy: now s "red table talk" is what it's called. >> yes. >> jimmy: and this is based yo on -- dihave a red table in your -- or you just thought it should be a red table? >> yeah, well, we have one now. >> jimmy: yeah, because it's shot in your house.
>> it is shot in the house. and it's actually an idea that i came up with years ago we actually did it when willow was 12 as a mother's day special. but i just left it alone. i just did it as a one-off. >> jimmy: right. >> and then, the producer ellen came to me about a year ago and she was like, "what aryou doing with this 'red table talk.' we really should do something with it." and i felt like willow's older. so why not? let's do it. >> jimmy: i mean, how does willow like -- did she enjoy doing it? because yo mom and your daughter. >> well, you know, willow is 17. >> jmy: so, she's like -- >> so she likes it sometimes. and sometimes she doesn't.s >> jimmy: sheat in it. >> she's so good. >> jimmy: and she's emotional. what a cute face. >> yes. >> jimmy: i mean, i know her when -- i mean obviously you knew her when she was younger. duh. >> yeah! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: who am i talking to? but i knew her as like a baby kind of. >> yeah, and will just put up the most -just the cutest ttle video of her on his instagram right before i came in here. >> jimmy: really? >> it's so -- >> jimmy: she really -- you've got a good family, you've got good kids, man. >> she's just so precious. >> jimmy: but it's so interesting the show. because you get into some issues where you go ke, "wow,
i don't know if i would bring that up in front of my kids or my mom." >> yeah, yeah, definitely. >> jimmy: and you're doing it in front of your kid and your mom. >> and my mom. at the same tiht. [ light la ] >> jimmy: i was like, i don't know who's more embarrassing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i was like -- [ gibberish ] >> we just had the sex show. and my mother literally was like -- >> jimmy: i was ke -- >> yeah, she was like, i'm not talking about this on camera. i was like, "mom, come on, this is -- we're in 2018, mom." >> jimmy: no, man. >> she's like, "no, i don't want to do it." and even w the show she's like, "i'm not answering that -- i'm just not answering that question." jimmy: i know. i would be like that too, though. >> she's more embarrassed all the time than any of us. because, she's so old school. but she's so neat. >> jimmy: i know, but i would be -- i don't know i'd be the same. but even, you see willow get embarrassed, but then, she's like, "yeah," and then, liab, she'll talt something i don't even want to talk about, what she talks about it's like -- >> yeah. [ light laughter ] let me tell you. willow, out of all of us, is like, that's the onewhen i sit at the table because we don't talk about the topics before we sit at the table. >> jimmy: oh, so, it's all -- it really is real. >> oh, no, it'all real. and she's the only one. i'm like, "lord, have mercy,
what am i going to learn about my child today?" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you almost like stuff you know, it's like -- but i guess it's good to know all that stuff thas going on. >> i think so and i think it's important to have these conversations because sometimes, we get so, you know, concerned or we talk so much about what's going on in the outside world, we dot talk enough about what's going on within us. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we are all gorough so much, you know, no matter your gender, your color, your economic status. we are all having something going down in our lives that we need to talk about. we need to talk more about that. >> jimmy: and it's great, and clearly, people love it. because they just brought it , you're having season two. >> yeah. they are bringing 13 more episodes. >> 13 more episodes. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to continue season e, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> we're going to continue season, yeah. >> jimmy: season one, oh yeah. >> 13 more. >> jimmy: what's the live thing that you're doing? because you do the shows mondays, right? >> mondays and then lives on fridays. >> jimmy: now is that -- >> on wednesdays. we do liveon wednesdays. >> jimmy: but, what, now, what is the live one? that's different, that's when you -- >> that's when we are literally live on facebook. >> jimmy: facebook, and people
can -- >> peoe can ask questions. >> jimmy: based on what happened on monday? yes. really, they can ask anything. and i'm always so nervous. because i'm like, rt'm not an ex let's be clear about that. and i'm as messed up as anybody else. i don't want to -- >> jimmy: no, please. >> i really try to be careful. >> jimmy: no that's fun. >> you know, just how we answer the quesons and what have you. but it is so much fun. and the community that we have is so great. we have such aeautiful "red table talk" community. shout-out to the "red table talk" community out there. >> jimmy: that's right, yeah, that's good -- [ cheers and applause ] >> they're holding us down. they're holding down. >> jimmy: i want to show a a clip. here's jada, her daughter willow and jada's mom adrienne in this week's episode of "red table talk." take a look. >> uh-oh. >> my introduction to sex was obviously walking in on you and daddy. that was the first introduction. >> when the hell did you walk in on us? >> it was in utah. no, not utah. aspen. i think it was in aspen. i was going downstairs to get some juice. i saw for a little moment and i ran away. i was like, oh, my god, this is so crazy. what did i just see?
>> and then -- [ laughter ] >> i don't remember this! >> no, it wasn't like i was seeing everything. >> right. >> the room, it was dark, you know what i'm saying? it was silhouetted. >> that was your introduction. so what was your feeling about that? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! >> lock your doors! lock your doors! >> jimmy: lock the doors. >> lock those doors. jada pinkett smith, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congrats on everything, pal. check out her show "red table talk" now on facebook watch. we'll be right back with bryce dallas howard. stick around. [ cheers and applae ] ♪ do not mistake serenity for weakness. do not misjudge quiet tranquility for the power of 335 turbo-charged horses. the lincoln mkx, more horsepower than the lexus rx350. and a quiet interior from which to admire them.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> wow. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: nice to see you. >> so good to see you, >> jimmy: congrats on another "jurassic world." i mean, "jurassic world" was the biggest thing like $1.9 gazillion dollars or something. [ laughter ] something crazlike -- just that, yeah. >> jimmy: it's like the fifth highest grossing film of all time. so it's pretty good success. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations on that. >> it was awesome. but i think it had to do more with you than the dinosaurs honest. >> jimmy: right? remember -- >> yes! >> jimmy: my cameo? >> your character. his cameo. do you guys remember that? >> jimmy: my character. i love my character. [ cheers ] >> yes, your character. >> jimmy: i was ing to say, y cameo." >> your character. >> jimmy: did i have a
a character? >> you playing jimmyn. >> jimmy: i played myself. yeah. i play me all the time, ma y 're so good at him. >> jimmy: thank you so much. >> oh, i really believe it. >> jimmy: i had years of training. yeah. of course, that was me. a whole secret -- : yes. >> jim the whole -- and that's why you got a chance to do the second one. >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: allon kingdom." >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's just genius. >> yes. >> jimmy: you should have thought of that for ssecond. i wi though it's exciting. it's bigger. it's more action-packed. it's scarier. >> yes. >> jimmy: who is the director on this? >> j.a. bayona. >> jimmy: yeah and he did the -- what was it? "the orphanage?" >> yeah. he did "the orphanage." he did "a monster calls", "the impossible." >> jimmy: no, no, no. i get scared too even just by saying those titles. [ laughter ] -- freak me out. but he's - >> yeah. >> jimmy: so it's a mix of the jurassic stuff but also spooky stuff. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how would they -- how would the set be scary? how would he -- >> well, i mean, he's kind of like -- he brings the whole spielbergian, intense like scary suspenseful.ti but then, tely very poignant and emotional. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and meaningful. you know? so kind of what he brings to this frahise. and he wanted the acting to be very real.
lly anted it to seem r grounded because, of course, we're dealing with a world, you know, where dinosaurs and human beings are co-existing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so you don't want to make any other leaps basically. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. ou want it to feel real because the dinosaurs are not. and -- [ laughter ] spoiler. and so what he did was -- he would create all these situations where we as actors were actually going through this adventure. so for instance, there is this whole sequence where myself and an actor, justice smith is in a a gyrosphere, sans you, unfortunately. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and -- [ laughter ] my: i didn't make it in the sequel. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's all right. it happens. >> huge loss. >> jimmy: yeah. our loss. >> jimmy: my paycheck is so high. [ laughter ] i mean you couldn't afford me to go "jurassic world -- >> indeed. >> jimmy: fallon kingdom." please. i'd force you to change the name, first of all. >> very true. very tru so we -- >> jimmy: but i'm up for the third one. >> yes. [ laughter ] >>immy: i'll do whatever. whatever you want me to do.
i'm in, man. [ cheers and applause ] wi want to be in that movh you. no, i'm cool. >> so, this gyrosphere --ro >> jimmy: the here. the ball. yeah. >> it falls. it falls off the cliff. you see one of those moments -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> in the trailer. and j.a. bayona decided to have a rollercoaster built. and they used your paycheck on e that roaster. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you could have easily done a green screen and you go, "aaaah" and have a fan blowing. >> nope.: >> jimhoaaa." >> nope. nope. >> jimmy: he had a a roller haster built? built a rollercoaster. >> jimmy: to show you? >> to show that we could experience zero g, zero gravity. >> jimmy: stop it. >> so we would actually fall ity or than gr something. i'm not a scientist. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a scientist. >> a scientist. >> jimmy: i'm not a scientist. >> scientist. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. i loved it. >> and it was -- yeah. and i floated. >> jimmy: did you do more than one take? >> we did so many takes. but wait, let me just tell you something. i'm so afraid of
rollercoasters.: >> jimr real? >> rollercoasters are the bane of my existence. i am terrified. terrified. i don't know. i don't know.go >> jimmy: yoto do "the tonight show" rollercoaster in orlando. it's a simulator. you'll be totally fine. [ laughter ] it's not a real rollercoaster. but it's really fun. >> i don't trust it. i don't trust r.y rollercoas >> jimmy: no, trust me. look at me. >> hmm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look it me. don't blink. don't blink. [ laughter ] it's so fun. >> no, but it's so scary. >> jimmy: well -- >> they said the same thing -- >> jimmy: let me see -- >> about this rollercoaster. >> jimmy: you -- >> they're like, "it's going to be fine." immy: you brought a video of your rollercoaster. let me see how scary it is. >> okay. so this is this rollercoaster. le >> that's a li barrel of hay. it's going to prott us. don't totally understand the physics of it. >> oh my god. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> i w so scared. this is true.
i was so afraid that justice smith actually just reminded me of this a couple of days ago. that with each take, you know, u kind of -- normally with stunts, you get sort of more and more confident with each take. with each take my panic increased. substantially. and by, like, the fifth or sixth take, you know, there's so much fear. d justice told me, and i remember this now, i was mi like, -- [ scr ] and i blacked out. i went -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> and then, i -- it stopped. and then, i kind of came to.>> immy: it's like, "fantastic acting, bryce." >> yeah. >> jimmy: "you're a genius! [ cheers and applause ] you were fantastic." >> it was crazy. >> jimmy: "we got it! we got it!" >> i passed out. >> jimmy: "you looked like you were passed out theru " >> yeah, "re so afraid --" >> jimmy: "you were so realistic." >> "that you fainted." >> jimmy: what's happeni n in this thi in "jurassic world: fallen kingdom?" >> okay. so there is an extinction level event happening isla nublar where all of the dinosaurs are. the park is done. park is gone. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and the dinosaurs have been left there stranded.
and basically, there is a a dete going on. do we intervene with nature ands save these drs, protect them like we would any other endangered species or do we let them die? do we let? >> jimmy: because they are giant dinosaurs. >> evolution -- yeah. [ laughter ] take its crse. exactly. so that's sort of the dilemma. and claire -- >> jimmy: interesting. >> wants to go to the island. >> jimmy: i want to show everyonebr clip. here ie dallas howard in "jurassic world: fallen kingdom." take a look at this. >> proximity alert. something's coming. >> where does that tunnel lead? >> well it connects to the rest of the -- park. >> claire, it's the t-rex. it's the t-rex. >> will you stop? it's not the t-rex. probably. >> probably? ♪
>> deep breaths, franklin. [ screaming ] >> see? not a t-rex! >> how is this beyou know whater? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bryce and i are doing something fun with "jurassic world" when we come back. stick around, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪listen up and i'll tell a story♪ ♪about an artist growing old♪
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i would see it in imax because it's just a giant, fun -- >> oh, yeah, yeah. ly>> jimmy: it's a beautif shot movie. one of the many impressive things of the "jurassic" movies is that how they create dinosaur roars. because no one really knows dewhat dinosaurs really so like. i mean, yeah. [ light laughter ] i mean, so -- sound designers, they recorded different animals, is what i heard. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: and then they slowed them down, and then, they mixed them together to create the sounds that we hear in the movi so, i thought that it would be fun if you and i try to create our own dinosaur roar right here tonight. and it's fairly easy to do. >> sure. >> jimmy: this app is called samplebot.in okay, and i'm to record us making animal sounds. as my guest, you're going to start us off. okay, i'll give you some animal sounds. we'll see -- are you ready? >> yeah.gi >> jimmy me your best lion. one, two, three. [ roars ] [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> is that the microphone or is this the microphone? >> jimmy: that doesn't matter. what, if that, or this -- that's almost like a dr roar.
>> oh, good. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> good. >> jimmy: what do i have pig. [ light laughter ] [ snorts ] [ applause ] >> that's good. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: not bad? >> that's not bad. >> jimmy: i mean, yeah -- >> that's like a hog. >> jimmy: thk you. [ light laughter ] >> yeah.yo re welcome. >> jimmy: it's so nice of you. all right, give me a dolphin. ready? >> okay. >> jimmy: one -- do you have a a dolphin sound? what is a dolphin sound? >> i think so, yeah. >> jimmy: okay, ready? one, two, three. [ dolphin sounds ] >> let me do it again. let me do it again. >> jimmy: no -- >> i don't get at. lothat, little empty part. >> jimmy: no, no, that was perfect. that -- dolphins breathe. >> okay, fine. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. cow. a cow. they wouldn't use a cow sound, would they? >> yes. >>immy: they would? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, here's a cow. moo, moo, moo. [ light laughter ] all right. oh, give me a cat sound.
one, two, three. [ yowls ] >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] unbelievable. >> i have never done that before. >>hoimmy: when you see the sw back, you're going to freak out. >> really? >> jimmy: you just did a a fantastic cat, that was unbelievable. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that was so much better than my cow. [ light laughter ] all right. a whale. i have to do a whale. a whale? >> i mean, what's the sound in the water? >> jimmy: okay. a whale. [ making whale noises ] >> jimmy: isn't it like that? [ making whale noises ] >> i don't know. i'm not -- i don't know. [ light laughter ] i have no idea. >> jimmy: oh, man. well, all right. all right. ndw, i'll see what these s like if we change the pitch, okay? so here's yo lion if we make it lower, ready? [ roar ]
>> jimmy: that came out of this little person right here. >> really bad indigestion. >> jimmy: here's the pig. [ snor] wow, this is great. >> impressive. >> jimmy: a dolphin. a cow. [ moo ] >> that actual j works. my: a cat. [ yowl ] i love that. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ [ air horn ] ♪ ♪>> immy: welcome back to the "today" show, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] wrap it up, fallon! all right,inally, the whale. a realistic whale sounds like
this. [ whale sound ] [ laughter and applause ] all right. i think if we play them at the me time we'll get an authentic roar. just tap it, ready? you do those three, i'll do he those three atame time. >> wait, okay. >> jimmy: one, two, three. [ all noises ] okay. [ laughter ] they might use it. let's take it to the next level. >> okay. ut jimmy: okay, let's see what would happen if weur dinosaur roar in your new movie "jurassic world: fallen kingdom." >> sure. >> jimmy: ready, let's take a a look. ♪ [ all noises ] >> jimmy: we did it! bryce dallas howard. "jurassic world: fallen kingdom" is in theaters and im june 22nd. we'll be right back with stand-up from nikki glaser. ick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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somebody burned down my she shed. your she shed was struck by lightning. is my she shed covered by state farm? your she shed's covered, cheryl. that's wonderful news. go with the one that's here to help life go right. state farm. out of sunscreen, going on a targetwatermelon.ything? water please! and soda! grandpa!! got it! get low prices today and every day. targetrun and done. so, you guys have recently starting dating. both: yes. cool. i want to show you guys these three chevy suvs. the first one is called the trax. great for when you move in together. both: ahh! and this is the chevy equinox. perfect for when you two have your first kid. (laughter) give me some time. okay. this is the traverse. for when you have your five kids, two dogs and one cat. (laughing) whoa... five? uhh... current competitive owners can get $5,000 below msrp on this chevy equinox when you finance with gm financial. find new roads at your local chevy dealer.
oh, thank you. this is so exciting. okay, so i'm currently in negotiations to get back with ex-boyfriend. thank you. [ laughter ] we have broken up seven times in five years. so i have no friends left. [ laughter ] and so if anyone wants to, ha like out after the show and just read through -- [ cheers ] really? i would lo for that. i just need you to read through a couple texts from him just to give me some perspective. i need some fresh eyes on these things. [ ligh ilaughter ] won't take long. i'll choose one of you and quickly airdrop 30 to 1,000 screen shots of text conversations between us. 'cause that's all that's in my phone. i hope you like reading blue. i'm not doing well in these conversations. [ laughter ] that's all that's in my phone. [ applause ] texts between me and men who will never love me, and naked pictures. i send those. and i ouldn't. i shouldn't. the cloud is not secure. but, like, neither am i.
and i need -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] -- constant validation. i don't put my face in theh. pictures tho mostly because he asks for them that way. but also -- [ laughter ] smart. i -- yeah. when you get back together with your ex, your friends get so mad.e theyke, "don't settle, nikki. you should never settle. never settle." i'm like, "never? if the pilgrims didn't settle, okay?" [ laughter ] thank god they did. i don't get back with him because i'm weak. i realit don't. like, i just date someone new and then i look back at him and i realize, "oh, he was the best i can do."li i can't -- [ laughter ] get better. he was so hot. so hot. short. that's how i got him. he's short. [ light laughter ] that's my little secret, ladies. [ laughter ] you can get su a hot guy if he's short. like on discount, okay? [ laughtso ] likemart.
and if you're cttting in a a e with him, people don't know. they're just like, "whoa, glaser is batting out of her league." like -- [ laughter ] and then you -- [ cheers ] yeah. thank you. eventually they know though because there is a picture of where you're standing next to him.ke and they're "oh, someone went digging in the bargain bin. [ laughter ] that's a tiny guy." i don't mi a tiny guy. and society tells us as women that our boyfriends are supposed to be bigger than us. 'cause fashion, you know? boyfriend jeans. you know when their boyfriend and you're like, "they're my boyfriend's. and i stole them. and they're big on me. and he's so big.tt and i'm . can you tell? boyfriend. [ laughter ] b i havefriend. and these are his. and they're my p.j.s now." [ laughter ] and it's just like, "i have never had that." my boyfriends' jeans -e are them. [ laughter and applause ] thank you.
it's true. it's true. favorite pair. oh, i am just -- i'm so exhausted being single. it's so much upkeep. i have to wear makeup all the time. li during the day. i used to go out during the day in my 20s without makeup on. and i was li, "you know what, if i meet the man i'm meant to be with he'll, like, see me for me." i'm 34 now and i'm like, "bitch, wear your mask." [ laughter ] h every day loween for you. [ applause ] trick or treat? no, trick a man into loving you or die alone. light laughter ] oh, this is a lie. okay, guys. okt me tell you what i'm doing up here. , i'm doing contouring. that's where you draw shadows make it look t like you have bone structure you don't have. [ light laughter ] and then on p of that i do ke a dewy shimmer so it looks like i may have women up in a ow earlier today. [ light laughter ] you don't know. yot know where i sleep. [ laughter ] that's the look now.
dewy. everybody is supposed to look dewy.d! that's not g that means you have dew on you. that means you have been left out overnight somewhere.nd [ laughterpplause ] not good. every time i complain about makeup, i always have one guy ik that's "you know what? i honestly like a lady without makeup. i like a natural look. i really do." and i'm like, "oh, you like men. that's cool you know about you." [ laughter ] ththat's what i look like t makeup. i look like a man. and i'm not insulting myself saying that. i kind of, like, love the guy i look like. [ laughter ] like, he's kind of a cool guy. you would like him. he's like a hard-working american man, but like, he lets ose. he -- oh, my god. i'm the type of guy without ni makeup that ors charity bike rides across the country. d and you go, "hs he have time for this?" and it's like, he doesn't. he makes time. like that's who i am without makeup. [ laughter and applause ] you seriously would love him. and if you date me, you'll meet him.
you will meet him eventually. two weeks in. e,e morning you'll roll over and i'll just be lhey, man, i'm tucker. nice to meet you. [ laughter ] anks for letting me crash last night. my girl had fun. she'll be back." [ cheers and applause ] thanks, guys.n i've bcker. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: unbelievable, pal! nikki glaser right there! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more from nikki. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. nikki glaser once again. how great was that? [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you! >> jimmy: holy moly. i love seeing you do stand-up. thank you so much. >> man, it means so much to me to hear you say that. because i don't know that you know this. you were the first stand-up comedian i ever saw. hi was obsessed with you h school. [ light laughter ] obsessed with you. my senior year of high school, my best friends knew this. they found out that you were performing at a college in the middle of missouri, five hours from st. louis where i lived. [ cheers ] so they surprised me and they said, "we're going to a a surprise in kirksville, missouri." which, what could that be? like a pig tap dancing? [ laughter ] like, what happens --? i was like, okay. they blindfolded me.we rive there. it's a long time to be blindfolded. [ light laughter ] we're 20 minutes in, i'm at the k.ive-thru and i'm like, "i'll take the two, i th
[ laughter ] they're like, "take it off. it's jimmy fallon." i'm like, "what?!" and it was awesome. i'm front row. okay, i've met you before. so front row, you're about to start a bit about what it's like to be a freshma college. do you remember this? and you're saying, "everything is tiny. theyon't trust you with big things." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: w. >> i loved the bit. it stuck with me. you were like, "you know, your dorm room is small." do >> jimmy: yeah, i said that everything is small. even the fridge is small. >> yeah, the fridge. and then -- >> jimmy: and then the little ice cube tray. >> the little ice cubes! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that only fits in that little tiny freezer. >> yes! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: like, "you guys want some'sce cubes? he tweezer. let's get out some ice cubes." [ light laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, that's an old bit. kw. >> it's stuck -- yw when you hear a bit and you're like, "that will remain with me forever?" that was the one. but, leading into the bit, you d waome kind of like, validation that that's the freshman experience.ou soooked to the front row. i'm there. and you go, "are you a a freshman?" and i lied to you, jimmy. [ laughter ]it an so -- i said yes. and i wasn't. and i just -- it's crazy that i'm here right now 'cause i'm llke, "oh, i just want to you that -- i want to like redo
that moment, but like tell you the truth."ke so will you ask me again? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah.an >> ito redo it. because i just felt -- i felt weird having this lie between us. okay. okay. >> jimmy: you -- are you a freshman? >> no. i'm a sophomore. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: come on! now you're gonna redeem yourself. nikki glaser, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] for tours and dates, check out o nikkiglase and her radio show is available daily on sirius xm channel 95. [ my thanks to ause ] jada pinkett smith, bryce dallas howard, nikki glaser. i love that you caee up to me. [ and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night w"h seth meyer thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applaus] ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- reese witherspoon, editor of the "new yorker", david remnick, live "new yorker" cartoons. featuring the 8g band with zach danziger. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] la es and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this iho"late night." is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. when asked about the lawsuit by adult film star stormy daniels n against prestrump yesterday, white house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders claimed that the case had already been won in arbitration.