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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  June 19, 2018 12:37am-1:37am EDT

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 5>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- jesse tyler ferguson, from "baskets" actor and comedian, louie anderson, music from, cold war kids, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. us [ cheers and app] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. la [ cheers and ae ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doinght? [ cheers and applause ] i thfantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. a federal judge in virginia revoked former trump campaign chairman paul manafort's bail on frid and sent him to jail while he awaits trial.
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jail or as it will soon be known, trump 2020 reelection headquarters. [ laughter and applause ] "how's everything going down there?" "it's hard. ll."nly get one [ light laughter ] according to the "washington post," former trump advisor roger stone secretly met with a russian national who wanted $2 illion in exchange for damaging information about hillary clinton. but it turned out that all the russian had was a videotape containing this. >> but i try to figure out how we get them to have pokémon go to the polls. a [ laught applause ] i mean -- >> seth: the ceo of audi was arrested tay in germany. and he even got his own special handcuffs. [ laughter andpplause ] the u.s. golf association has issued an apology after this weekend's broadcast of the u.s.
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twopen picked up audio fro fans in the crowd graphically describing a sexual encounr. [ laughter ] said a spokesman, "we're sorry that disguing conversation interrupted our conversation of balls and holes and shts." [ laughter and applause ] an ohio man was recently arreed after attacking his roommate with a rolling pin. and i find it amazing that two male roommates actually owned a rolling pin. [ laughter and applause ] "wha no, dude. i said go get rolling papers." [ laughter ] a scottish businessm has created a donut and chicken nugget hybrid. he is calling the donug. as in whatever you do, donug eat this. [ light laughter ] and finally, a baby who was born in paris on a public traed today receree rides from the transportation company until his 25th birthday.
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while a baby born on the new york city subway received hepatitis. [ laughter and appuse ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. he is starring in the off broadway production of "log cabin" here in new york city. jesse tyler ferguson is back on the show, everybody. [ cheers and applaus] oh man. he is just one of my as. time favori incredible as christine in fx's "baskets" and his latest book "hey mom: stories for my mother, but you can read them too" is available now, louie anderson. [ cheers and applause ] the one the only, louie anderson. and music from the fantastic band, cold war kids is he tonight! so -- [ cheers and applause ] it's a wonderful night. before we get to that president trump has spent the weekend onc again attacke russia investigation while lying about his administration's cruel policy of separating families at the border. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: trump wandered onto the white house lawn on friday for an impromptu interview with "fox & friends" where he rambled about everything from china toso trade and fo reason decided to lavish praise on his supporters. >> i have ppe greatest ters in the world. by the way, they're the smartest, they're the hardest working, they pay taxes, they're incredible, they're loyal. i have the bikers, i have th construction workers, i have them all. >> seth: trump is such a phony, the only jobs he can name are ville people. [ laughter and applause ] i have the bikers, the ti constr workers. i've got the cops, the sailors, the leher men. trump right now is dealing with a series of massive scandals. his campaign chairman was just thrown in jail. and his administration is tearing children away from their parents at the border. so, naturally "fox & friends" asked the hard hitting questions. >> yesterday a big day, not only did the ag report come out, but it was yr birthday. >> that's right. >> get any good presents?
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>> iot a lot of good kisses. i got a lot of phone calls from people that i would never have gotten phone calls from. i got phone calls from- who'd you get the kisses from? >> from my beautiful wife. >> seth: is it me? or does steve doocy sound a little jealous? [ laughter ] who'd yoget the kisses from? [ laughter ] is she prettier than me? does she also kiss you on your beautiful ass? trump was also asked about reports that several of his s closest aie heading for the exits including press secretary sarah huckabee sanders. and said thi >> sarah huckabee sanders, your press secretary. >> yeah. f >> she -- she took a lotat yesterday from the people behind you. there were some suggestion that e'd be leaving the white house. >> i don't think so. you know, look, at a certain point everyone sort of leaves. you have to leave. i'm sort of just staying like a ship, just keep going, bing bing. [ laughter ] >> seth: that analogy doesn't mean what you think it means.
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if people are jumping off a ship, that means the ship is sinking. you're thinking of a bus. "i'm like a ship and everyone is jumping off the side of the ship which is a shame because this ship is headed for the most beautiful place, ice mountain." now, yesterday was father's day. and on father's day trump did what all dads do ofather's y. he got up bright and early to tweet unhinged things about the ongoing crimin investigation of his presidential campaign. >> the president sunday on the attack tweeting, "witch hunt! there was no russian collusion. oh, i see there wano russian collusion, so now they look for obstruction on the no russian collusio the phony russian collusion was a made up hoax. too bad they didn't look at crooked hillary like this. double standard!" >> seth: why does trump write his tweets like a thought occurred to him in the middle of it?[ ughter ] we're like a week away from s ump tweeting every single thought that occ him.
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"there was no russian collusion. oh, i see, there was no russian collusion, so now they look for obstruction. send tweet. oh, i'm so hungry. i want a cheeseburger so bly, but i can't have one because of the democrats' witch hunt. ooh, tummy rumbling, hungry, i hate this job so much. i am so bad at it. someone get me a cheeseburger, golf. cheeseburger, golf. cheeseburger, have no more thoughts brain empty. must watch fox news anll." [ cheers and applause ] trump's outburst came amid a major development in the russia investigation. his former campaign chairman paul manafort who is awaitinff trial on 23 ent counts was sent to jail on friday for allegedly attempting to interfere in the investigation by contacting witnses. >> paul manafort is going to jail. the judge, amy berman jackson, said that manafort's repeated attempts to contact tnesses constituted a danger to the integrity of t court. >> manafort called person d1.n on per's cellular phone. person d1 sought to avoid manafort. so person d1 ended the call.
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manafort also sent person d1 a text message on an encpted application stating, "this is paul." [ laughter ] >> seth: paul manafort tried to contact witnesses, which is a crime, to lie about his other . alleged crim and he literally wrote in a texs message, "s paul." [ laughter ] even your weed dear knows enough not to text the word, "weed." al, did you think robert mueller wouldn't be watching? look at him. the man doesn't even blink. he won a staring contest with the lincoln memorial.[ ughter ] in a tweet, trump says sending manafort to jail was a tough sentencend called it very unfair. so trump has sympathy for his former campaign chairman accused of conspiracy against the united states and sent to jail for al ged witness tampering. but, what about children fleeing violence and sking asylum with their parents? this will shock you. trump has much less sympathy for them. >> your numbers toda department of homeland security show the impact of the administration's new crackdown egal immigration at the border.
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over a six-week period nearly 2,000 kids, 1,995 ch, werepa ted from nearly as many adults. >> seth: now, if this policy strikes you as monstrous, an inhumane, and cruel then, you're a decent person. in other words, you are not attorney general jeff sessions. last week sessions defended the policy by citing the bible. >>edllegal entry into the un states is a crime. it should be and must be if u're going to have a legal system and have any limits whatsoever. persons who violate the law of our nation are subject to prosecution. if you violate the law, you subject yourse to prosecution. i would cite you the apostle paul and his clear and wise companion romans 13 to obey the laws of the government because god has ordained the government for his purposes. >> seth: o face. at sessions' have you seen a creepier smile?b he cites tle like a guy
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challenging someone else's word in scrabble. "wl, i'm sorry, but mr. dictionary doesn't see your word. it's just not in here." also, you know who's gotta be really pissed right now? the apostle paul. you never hear anything about that dude, and then all of a sudd he gets blamed for this i know he is an apostle so he doesn't swear, but seriously. it's hard not to believe he's up there right now saying, "dude, v me the [ bleep ] out of this, i don't --" [ light laughter ] white house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders was asked how the white house could possibly defend that comment and she immediately doteled down in e exchange with a reporter. >> i'm not aware of the attorney general's comments or what he ef would beencing. i can say that it is very biblical to enforce the law. >> seth: i should note, it's also very biblical to stone people to death, to sleep with 600 concubines, to have conversations with flaming bushes and to believe a 500 yeard old man ilt a giant boat and put giraffes on it. [ laughter ]
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and it got even worse from there. >> that is actually repeated a o numbtimes throughout the bible. however -- [ inaudible ] hold on, jim. y 'll let me finish. again, i'm not going to comment on the attorney's specific comments that i haven't seen. >> you just said it's in the bible to follow the law. >> that's not what i said. and i know it'hard for you to understand even short sentences, i guess. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: he can't understand short sentences? trump's own aides say they have to fill his briefings with le pictures and bpoints. i'm pretty sure his briefing for the north korea summit looked like this. [ laughter and applause ]w, o be clear, this is not a law. it's a policy announced by choice by the trump administration. you just heard sessions and sanders defend it. and they're not the only ones. the "new york time reported over the weekend that one of the central figures in the trump administration pushing for the family separation policy was nonether than senior policy advisor stephen miller. [ lighing cracks ] [ laughter ]
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over the weekend, miller briefly took human form to take credit for the policy, telling the sitimes it was a simple de by the administration to have a zero tolerance policy for illegal entry period. the message is that no one is exempt from immigration law. wow, you know you're evil when you want credit for a policy this cruel. miller is like a serial killer who leaves clues for the police. in fact he didn't even give that quote to the times he just cut ant letters from a magazin slipped it under a reporter's door. [ laughter and applause ] so again, to be absolutely clear. this is not a law. it's a choice by the administration and they can end it right now. and yet, trump is trying to gaslight the country into thinking it's actually the au democrats' that this policy exists. watch as he just keeps repeating the lie over and over asrt res explain to him that he's wrong. >> do you agree with childawn being take from their -- at the border? >> no, i hate it. i hate the children being taken away.s the democrve to change their law. that's their law. >> so, why has jeff sessions nounced a zero tolerance policy at the border on may 7th.
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is that not a republican -- >> because, he's followinghe law. >> is that not a republican policy? >> no, he's following laws -- he's following a law -- >> so that was a direct order to -- >> can i answer your question, >> yes. >> you're just asking me the same question over and over. he following laws, very simply, that were given to us, enforced upon us by the democrats. >> but there's no law that says that families have to be e parated at the border. >> the democrats g the laws. >> seth: he just repeats the same lie over and over. and, i'm sorry, but that lie is even less convincing than this one. >> i got a lot of good kisses. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: here's what's really going on. trump is doing this as a bargaining chip. he's holding these children hostage so that he can get his border wall. told the use offici "washington post" last week the thinking in the building is to force people to the table. and trump himself has said as much in his tweets and in his comments to reporters. >> the president tweeted quoting here "the democrats are forcing the breakup of families at the
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border with their horrible and cruel legislative agenda. any immigration bill must have i full f for the wall and catch and release, visa lottery and chd go to merit based immigration. go for it, win." >> we need a wall, we need border security. we've gotta get rid of catch and release. >> well there's another way to go about it, mr. president. >> the democrats gave us the laws. now, i want the laws to be beautiful, humane but strong.ul >> seth: beauthumane and strong. trump's lies are starting to sound like the tinder profile of a russian scammer trying to catfish you. "my name is kelsey, i am 21, beautiful, humane strong. you send bank routing number, now please?" this policy -- this policy is monstrous and morally repugnant and it is ing done in our name. any elected official who doesn't call for an immediate end to it is complicit. and anyone associated with it eyould resign in disgrace or as trump would put hould go -- >> bing, bing. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ we'll be right back with fe jesse tyleuson, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ 1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2 ♪ this goes out to you, to you, to you and you ♪ ♪ if i can do it, you can too if i can do it, you can too ♪ ♪ see life, life is a moment ♪ the story doesn't need the writer's involvement ♪ ♪ so edit this for me ♪ don't embellish and twist it, please ♪ ♪ don't embed it in mysteries ♪ edit this for me ♪ 1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2 rewards me basically aeverywhere.om so why am i doing goat yoga at this mountain resort? because hotels.com lets me do me.
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welcome back, ody, and please give it up for the 8g band right over there! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: also, so excited. this week fred armisen is backwi us. everybody give it up for fred. [ cheers and applause ] and i feel like i haven't seen you in forever. j itt wonderful to have you here. you're such a busy guy. >> fred: yeah, it's great to be back. >> seth: and speaking of busy, you know you're constantly working on different pe jects, and ing you always complain to me about especially in the summer is that you don't have any time to read oks, you don't have any time to unplug, and do summer reading. >> fd: no, not even a minute >> seth: but then you also told a, that's okay because you can discern exactly whook is about, and its full plot just by looking at the cover. [ light laughter ] >> fred: pretty accurately, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] a seth: this is something you've always bee to do. >> fred: always, since i was a kid. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: okay. so if i show you a book cover right now you can tell me exactly what the book is about? >> fred: guaranteed, yes. [ light laughter ] >> seth: alright. this is your last chance to says you're making p. >> fred: no, no, no. i'm -- >> seth: okay.
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here you go. it's a new segment, "fred judges a book by its cover." ♪ this is "dreams of falling" by karen white. fred, whats this book about? >> fred: that's so easy. first of all, it's written by karen white. [ laughter ] so, she wrote it. she, you know, started it off just with some sketches, and st kind of figuring out what she wanted to do, and then she started putting, you know, pen to paper -- >> seth: is this all going to be the procesof writing a book. is that -- [ laughter ] >> fred: yeah, yeah. >> seth: i would think that would be the same for most books. >> fred: usually yes, but for this one particularly. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: okay. >> fred: she was like -- so she was like -- "i wrote this book." she wanted people to know that she wrote it, and let's have a look at that cover there again. [ cheers and applause ]y. >> seth: o >> fred: let's see. okay, so this is great. so, it's "dreams of falling." so what it is, is it's a story of this woman, right, who the only way she could like look at the sky was to just like fall on her back, right? [ laughter so the problem is, is that her house is directly on wyou know what i mean?
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sohe kept falling into the water. she was like, "you know what i'm going to do? can we please build some kind of a short pier that i ca back on --" am i correct so far? [ laughter ] and then someone -- and then someone like threw some milk at her. they were like, "you want some milk while you're down there?" [ laughter ] >> seth: uh-huh. >> fred: and she's like, "no, plt se don't," and then it s of was like a sort of shampoo bbrough her hair and she g this eel. there was like a snake eel in the water. [ laughter ] >> seth: i guess that's an eel right there. yeah. >> fred: yeah. and that was like -- but she was realit happy about >> seth: looks like a ribbon to me, fred. looks really like >> fred: that's what's misleading about eels, and i want everyone to know this -- a [ laughter alause ] thank you very much for that. yeah, they always look like ribbons. they're not ribbons, guys. [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, this is going to be your like -- cause you obviously have some >>etty strong feeling about eels. red: yeah, i'm so tired of people just reaching out to them. you know, these are animals that, they want to eat us.
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light laughter ] hence the name eel. [ laughter ] you know? >> seth: okay, well let me tell cku what according to the of this book, what this book is about. >> fred: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we'll see how close fred came. nine years, ago humiliated larkin lanier flid -- fled georgetown, south carolina, knowing she can never go back, but en she finds out that he mother has disappeared she realizes she had no choice, but to return to the place she both loves and dreads. >> fred: and there was eels in the water, yes. [ laughter ]e >> seth: g up for fred armisen, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] eels. it does say the mother disappeared, which seems like a real e m.o. [ laughter ] >> fred: that's what i'm saying. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: alright. you know our first guest tonight from his emmy nominated work on abc's "modern family." he's currently starring in the off broadway play "log cabin" at playwright's horizon theatre throug please welcome back to the show jesse tyler ferguson, everybody! ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you >> i'm so good. it's good to see little fredrick again too. >> seth: yes. you're here on a good week to be here. >> yeah, it's very exciting. >> seth: so you --re i'm very ied that you use your time off from your television job to come do stage work. >> io. >> seth: last time you were here, you were doing a one man show "fully committed." >> yes. yes. >> seth: now this alme you're ac sharing the stage with some other actors. >> there's a few other actors. the last one i played 40 characters in a one-man show, and this time i'm playing one character in a play with six people. >> seth: okay. so tha>>s -- hat's more -- i like that more. >> seth: you like that more. yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: i can imagine playing 40 characters for however many nights you did it was pretty exhausting. >> it was great. i mean i lost ke 15 pounds during the run. if you want to lose weight, just do a one man show. [ light laughter ] it's reay -- >> seth: yeah, that's what they all say. >> that's what they all say. >> seth: this is an interesting play about the different kinds of people that can start families -- >> rig. >> seth: and how they start families. >> yeah.
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this is like about the breakdown of empathy between subcultures of the lgbtq community. that sounds really dry, and boring but it's actually a real funny play, and there a a lot of moments where like i can't believe you just said that, but you did. i'm learning a lot about the ansgender community. it's a really great play. very timely. >> seth: well that's helpful because, you know i do things -- there are things we all want to learn about different sometimes we are afraid that if we ask we'll seem ignorant. >> yeah, i had friends who same, and we ae of these questions in the play, and my friends were like, "well we want to know the answero that too." seth: yeah. >> like, truly, like i've always been scared to ask that question. so it's great. >> seth: you're introduced in the play as a gay uncle who's in charge of babysitting. you do some babysitting. >> yes. >> seth: yes. >> yes. i used to baby -- that was like my bread and butter before i became a successful actor. [ light laughter ] >> seth: wow.oo were you were you -- >> i was an amazing babysitter. >> seth: you really were? okay. >> i really was a gr babysitter. i babysat for a friend of mine who was an actor, and i had just his daughter nora, and i would
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take her to like, in the parks, and i would meet oth parents while i was at the park, and they would kind of be like, "who's that guy? do you do this a lot do you have time like on thursday? can you come by? we're short a babysitter." so i started getting poached by other parents. >> seth: wow. >> and then i started like hedging them against one another. it's like, well, mrs. morrison pays $12 an hour. [ laughter ] so like, you know -- i was really -- i was quite a shark. >> seth: wow. >> yeah.>> eth: that's very impressive. >> yeah. >> seth: and -- >> and not to say i won't go back to it when "modern family" is done. i mean -- >> seth: yeah. >> if anyone wants me to -- >> seth: but, let's make it clear. >> yeah, my rates have gone up. >> seth: it's not $12 anymore, yeah. >> let's talk about ion. yeah. >> seth: do you like using your off time from being in front of a tv camera to come back and do theatre? >> i do. i love it. i mean, wh you're on camera, and you know this from doing tv. like, your performance is edited in another room. in theater, you're in complete charge, in control of your performance. i think it's so exciting.
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>> seth: that's great, and you can adjust based on the audience on any given night. >> yeah, absolut ny. you' laughing right now, so then i would do something whacky like this, and then you'd start laughing. [ laughter ] so you know, you can do things like that. h: you got them. >> and you can wave to fred when you're feeling insecur and he doesn't wave back, but that's fine. that's fine. it's finou don't worry it. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: fred. [ applause ] you -- you and your husband just traveled. >> yeah. >> seth: you went to london. you went to paris. >> and berlin. >> seth: berlin. >> which i've never been to before. seth: how is berlin? >> it's great. it's great for people who are willing to like see the sunrise. >> seth: yeah. >> which i'm not one of those people.re ly like sleep. >> seth: i went to berlin once, and i think i went a little late. like my party days were over, and i felt like an old man. >> oh yeah. mine too. tely, i'm with you. we should go to berlin together. >> seth: great. did you make an effort? >> we did make an effort, one night we definitely made it to like 8:00 a.m. yeah. eacheers and applause ] >> seth: that's
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>> and we were really proud of ourselves, and then we basically fell asleep for a whole day and lost a day in berlin. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: that's not great. >> it wasn't fully worth it to be honest. >> seth: you did not go to the tony's. >> no. no, i was doing -- t was onstage that night. >> seth: right, u did go to tony's after parties. >> i went to the after parties, which i think is probably the way to do it now -- >> seth: yeah. >> just like skip the ceremony, and go to the parties. and again i was kind of trying to relive my berlin days. i ended up staying out way too late. >> seth: oh no. >> yeah. ou seth: but you just foun from berlin that you're not cut for that. how did you forg>> so quickly? just forgot very quickly. enough liquor makes you forget things. >> and i knew it was time to leave when my friend colin brought me back. i had been drinking vodka sodas and he brought me back a drink at -- it was a tequila and water with no ice in a martini gls, and he's like, "this is all they have left." [ laughter ] i was like, "then we need to go home." >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> like, that's when you leave. we can't be here anymore. >> seth: right, yoah. can stay -- you can keep drinking your first choice, and your second choice. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: but when it's the last choice -- >> and it's warm. >> seth: yeah. >> and in a martini glass, and
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it doesn't belong in that. >> seth: yeah.home. >> yeah. >> seth: it's like, i can give you a pint of rose -- >> in like a sippy cup. you're le, "i don't feel like this is what i should be doing right now." >> seth: i didn't realize this, ich is an incredible pul tony kushner, the incredible playwright married you guys. >> yes. yeah, he was our officiant. yeah, he wrote "angels and america," and is a pulitzer prize winner for that. [ cheers and yeah.se ] >> seth: and of urse, he -- he deservedly, that show won a tony this year. >> yeah, they won tons of tonys. >> seth: have you seen the revival? i ave seen it. i loved it. i was highly impressed with it. nathan lane of course is in it. he plays pepper on "modern family." so i was there to see him, and it's so amazing seeing him in a lale that's completely different from the role he on "modern family." >> seth: did you see it same day, back to back? >> i did two days. i needed -- i had to sleep in between. >> seth: got you. >> some people do this throughout one day, and i was f likel better going to bed between plays. >> seth: yeah, but you did do them back to back days? you did have a short -- >> yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah. i mean it was fantastic. it's an amazing production thatl people sdefinitely try and catch. >> seth: it's amazing that you e
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pulled tony kuas an officiant for a wedding. >> i just asked him, and he said, "yes," which is --an i kind of knew him, but not well enough to say, will you marry us. a seth: yeah. i was like, well i'm going to try, and he said, "okay," and like we basically had like a breakfast together where he asked us how we met. i'm like, "this is just so weird. [ light laughter ] you're going to marry us." i'm ju our origin story." is [ light laughter ] and, but he wrote this ceremony that i was like,well, you're going to win a second pulitzer for this because it's amazing." [ light laughter ] >> seth: that's fantastic. yeah. beautiful. he still hasn't given me the transcript of the ceremony yet though. seth: oh, interesting. >> so, if he's watching, i'm sure he is. >> seth: i'm sure he is, yes. >> i need that. >> seth: okay, great. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: thanks so much for being here. >> absolutely. >> seth: it's always such a pleasure to see feu. jesse tyleuson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "log cabin" is playing at the playwright horizon mainstage theatre through july 15th. so'll be right back with our friend louie and [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ tomorrow big things are comin'. ♪ ♪ that's why nationwide is on your side. ♪ ♪ join t-mobile. and get netflix included for the whole family. so you can get lost in space in your own backyard... or get pumped up for your grand entrance. only t-mobile lets you watch your favorite movies and shows in more places, without paying more. get an unlimited family plan with netflix on us. and right now at t-mobile, buy one samsung galaxy s9 and get one free.
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(birds chirping, a running ahh.k,) the new deer park sparkling is made with real spring water. ♪ it's so refreshing and delicious, you don't need slo-mo models to sell it. real spring water, real fruit flavors and refreshing bubbles. just what's refreshingly real. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: our next guest is a comedian and emmy winning actor. his latest book "hey mom: sties for my mother but yo can read them too" is available now.
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he also stars as christine in the fx series "baskets." l let's take >> what do you think of this? >> i like that. >> too coney island. that's the problem with that one. what about this? >> i like that. >> god, i never realized i had so many pastels. god, what am i? i thought i was an autumn. i think i'm a summer.et >> please welcome back to the show louie anderson, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: hi louie. >> hi seth.so >> seth: it'ood to see you. >> it's so good to see you. i thought you didn't like me. that happens to me. >> seth: oh -- >> if i don't come back in a certain amount of time on a show, i go, "oh, what did i do?" >> seth: oh my god. >> but i don't feel that way now. seth: okay, good. no -- >> no. >> seth: there's much love for you here. >> yeah.
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>> seth: both om everyone at the show but especially from me. i'm a huge fan of yours. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> seth: this is a wonderful jacket. i want to just start by -- t s is my -- listen, this -- i may never wear another thing. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i lost it, you know. >> seth: i did know. what happened? >> you saw it on the -- i -- i got so -- i was at the airport and i left it orsoropped it or one took it. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] w and you know people will. >> seth: i know ey do it, yeah. >> they see a jacket and go, "oh -- [ laughter ]e got to h." and they could be big and they -- but quicker than me. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> so i put it on instagram. >> seth: that you lost it? >> i lost -- luckily, i had a thousand pictures of it. s h: uh-huh.po >> and so ed a picture and said, "i lost my jacket in
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minneapolis/st. paul airport." that's my hometown.-- aneah. >> seth: yeah, give it up for minneapolis. [ eers ] >> and -- glad to see you got out here. rlaughter ] and i didn't get aponse. and then i said, "maybe i'll st just call the nd found there." which don't -- you know how that is, calling the lo and found. >> seth: yeah. >> you never get through. om, guy picks up, john. i go, "hey." "hey." [ light laughter ] he picked up. i turned into romney there for a second. hey. [ laughter ] and he -- i go, "do you have -- can you check to see if you have a giant --" [ laughter ] what is the name of that stuff they cl it? there's a name for it. i think i said, "herringrone" which is, but jacket. and he comes back and he goes, "we got a big blue checked one." [ laughter ] i said, "wl you send it?" i'm on -- this was like thursday. >> seth: yeah. >> i said, "will you fedex it to me?
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because i'm on seth's show -- >> seth: oh, yeah. >> monday and i'd like to wear it." [ cheers ] >> seth: and they did. >> and they did. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and -- you -- >> i think his name was bo don gusch. >> seth: don gubosch, look there you are. you're so happy. >> yeah. >> seth: there's the fedex box and everything. >> that's everything. you know, cause u need -- nowadays, when you're going on social media, you need a story. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's obviously -- i'd just gotten back from the new "solo" from my, you know -- >> seth: yeah. >> "star wars" shirt. >> seth: gotcha. >> and i oped the package. and what was in it? of course, that jacket. >> seth: yeah. >> it's obous. >> seth: no, it's like -- >> it's all wrinkled. >> seth: you're right. it's like a three act play. [ laughter ] >> happiness is at i am on seth meyers' show. >> >> with my jacket!ket. [ cheers and applause ] ckd fred is back! >> seth: fred's [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> seth: what is -- you're on a newer tour. what is the name of your new tour? >> "big undeear tour." seth: the "big underwear tour." [ laughter ] how do you come up -- how do you name your tour the "big underwear tour?" >> i was washing my clothes.er
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[ laug which i don't normally do. [ laughter ]on but when you'rhe road, you've got to do things. and i fold -- so i put them in yer. and then, i was folding them. and i took out the undwear. and i went, "jesus." [ laughter ] i did. it was an involuntary jesus. [ laughter ] like i go, "jesus!" and i' someone to tell.or ind no one was there. i go, "are these [ laughter ] are these mine? no!" 'cause you don't know how big your underwear on while il you're -- are you're putting them on -- i got ahead of myself. seth: yeah. >> but you don't know. and then i go, "my god." >> seth: yeah. >> and so i said, "i'm not -- i'm going to do it. i'm going to do a tour called "big underwear tour." [ laughter ] and -- cause i'm an underwear hoarder. i don't know if you know that. >> seth: how -- what are we talking? a total -- >> six big boxes when i cleaned out my storage of big underwear. >> seth: wow. [ light laughter ] >> from different decades.
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>> >> '80s, '90s. >> seth: so you've never -- and looking back, has the style changed a lot over tt four decades? [ laughter ] >> well, yeah. the '80s, they were carefree. laughter ] the '90s, ew. j and, you knot -- yeah, they were. you know, i was a poor kid. so i always ink i'm out of derwear. >> seth: oh okay. >> and that's why i had them all. >> seth: yeah. you're -- >> no one wants them either. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, have you tried to give them away? he yeah, goodwill won't -- shame you. >> seth: they shame you at goodwill? >> yeah. they go, "it's unsanitary."he i go, re clean." they were clean. >> seth: they won't take them? >> nope.so make artwork out of them now. [ laughter ] >> seth: so yoyo-- obviously, play a mom -- >> i do. >> seth: on "baskets", which is fantastic. >> righta >> seth: it'ntastic portrayal. >> thank you. >> seth: and did that inspire you then to write this book about your mom? >> yes. i came home one day. i was working on the show with all my good friends. there's zach galifianakis and jonathan krisel and martha kelly.er and i was elmed.
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and i was thinking about my mom. because i'm really playing mom. i'm not playing louie anderson as a mom. >> seth: you're really not. i'm telling you, some weird thing happens to me where i disappear. it just does. anyway, i can't explain it. wish i could. so i wrote, "dear mom" and i wrote this long letter. and i sent it to a couple people because it mattered to me, the letter. and they -- they were -- both fr said, my goond abraham and my manager amos, and they sa -- this would make a good book. and i said, "uh, that seems like a lot of work." [ laughter ] >> seth: your mom seemed to be quite a character, especially at restaurants. what was yrer mom like at aurants? >> well, she didn't -- any midwesterner, if they aren't waited on within 15 seconds, they do this. [ laughter ] "is there anybody else here?"e. it's t
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honestly, my mom's first word were always, "could we get some extra butter?" and the maître d' would say, "well, let us seat your party first." [ laughter and applause ] eth: it's really a lovel book. >> thank you. >> seth: and she seemed like a lovely woman. r and lly is truly, for my money, one of the great portrayals on television. and i'm so glad you're still doing it. and thank you so much for being back. it's just always so great to see you. >> thank you so much. thank you. socheers and applause ] >> seth: louie and everybody. "hey mom" is available in stores now. we'll be back with more "late night." a [ chee applause ] ♪ john tyson's motto was,
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" when better chickens are hatched, we will hatch them." it's why all of the tyson chicken that bears his name is raised with no antibiotics ever. every nugget, strip and drumstick. keep it real. keep it tyson.
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buy one iphone 8 and get one iphone 8 on us. more for your thing. that's our thing. visit att dot com. you likso dhei.urs? blue. i brought you something. okay. this is gonna be awesome. rated pg-13.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everyone. it is time for a new segment of the show called "jokes we wrote because the president slept with a porn star." ♪ [ laughter ] >> seth: vice president mike pence spoke last week in dallas, said trump, say hi to debbie or me. [ audience oohs ] >> no, you're gone. >> seth: what? >> you can't go after the president like that. >> what, i was jtet trying to a [ bleep ] joke. >> yeah, no. i knew you were going to say
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that, but that's the wrong way to do it. >> no, no, no, but it makes sense. he slept with stormy daniels. "debbie does dallas" is a porno. that's a totally relevant joke. >> it is what it is, but that ain't going to happen. i don't do something there, my ass is in the jackt. >> this is [ bleep ] bull [ bleep ]. >> whoa, whoa, whoa, lutz, -utz, lu >> [ bleep ] you. >> lutz, lutz, lutz. relax. >> no, get your [ bleep ] [ eep ] [ bleep ]. >> lutz, no, relax. get a handle. what is it lutz. >> when are we going to get our shot at trump? >> you had>>our shot lutz. hat?! you didn't give me a shot. when are you going to give us a shot? >> if i give you a shot then myj ass in tkpot, lutz. >> when do we get a shot? they don't ever give us a shot.. [ bleep ] [ laughter ] >> this is your problem to solve. let congress do it. >> congress is doing [ bleep ] nothing. >> what about robert mueller? >> he's taking too [ bleep ] long. [ light laughter ] >> damn it lutz. now my ass is in the jackpot. >> what does that even mean? >> i don't know. >> isn't a jackpot a good thingt >> you wounk so. >> and how do you get your ass stuck in it? >> i don't know. >> give us a [ bleep ] shot. this is bull [ bleep ]. >> okay, okay, relax. relax. you got everything out. get out of here lutz. [ laughter ]
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alright, let's get the new host in from the bullpen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] b >> we'right back with music from cold war kids. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the 2018 camry. toyota. let's go places.
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at least it was spf 50. mmm... sorry. discpump, foam, hydrate care foaming body wash. new dove men + care foaming body wash charmin ultra soft! ♪ it's softer than ever. charmin ultra soft is softer than ever...o so it's hardersist. okay, this is getting a little weird. enjoy the go! with charmin! ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: tonight's musical guest latest album "audience greatest hits retrospective on their 14 year career performing "can we hang on," give it up for cold war kids! la [ cheers and ae ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i come here nine times asking you to not make it ten i'm peeling off all the honor and protecting my skin ♪ ♪ apologize i'm laying down my ego to st would you be mine forever just in case it exists ♪ ♪ i think about the old days what we didn't do to survive
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♪o we get better with time tell me i'm wron ♪ looking back to the start who we were when we met this box of pictures tells a story ♪ ♪ when we fight we forget and i can barely recognize those back that we were obsessed ♪ can't we cut out this madness and get back to the best think about old days ♪ ♪ what we didn't do to survivee dot better with time tell me i'm wrong ♪ ♪ i'm looking your old ways we follow the same dotted line ♪ ♪ passing like ships in the night can we hang on can we hang on ♪ ♪ can we hang on
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can we hang on can we hang onou this've gone ♪ ♪ either way if one of us had walked if i'done off and you'd caved in ♪ ♪ and we broke it off i'd be lost i'd be chasing some broke down dream ♪ ♪ and i be bored to death but we cannot stay forever young and out of our heads out of our heads ♪ ♪ i think about tomorrow if i can get through tonight i know that we'll be alright can we be strong ♪ ♪ i'm looking to your old waysho evenh we like ships in the night ♪ ♪ don't you go passing me by can we hang on
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can we hang on can we hang on ♪ ♪ can we hang on can we hang on you can't find it if you're ing to live ♪ ♪ if you want to know the secret hang on you can't find it ♪ ♪ if you're dying tlive if you want to kw the secret hang on ♪ ♪ you can't find it if you're dyinto live if you want to know the secret hang on ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: cold war kids, everyone. "audience" is out now. for dates, go to coldwarkids.com.
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we'll be right back. [ applause ] here's money for pizza. here's the wi-fi password, but, if you go online while the boys are online the internet can slow down and...
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they don't like it. you guys don't have fios? [mrs. jennings] oh-no. but it's a 100% fiber-optic network with ridiculous speeds. you could have, like, a hundred devices online at once. interested, talk later. bye boys! don't even think about going online. woah... i can't work like this. the 100% fiber-optic network means more speed for more devices at once. so get a fios triple play with a 2-year agreement, and choose a free samsung chromebook 3 or credit towards other samsung tech.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to rg jesse tyler on, louie anderson, cold war kids, everybody!is fred a and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: hi, there. it's carson daly here stationed at hyde sunset in hollywood for tonight's "last call we've got a great lineup about to come your way, including ac "pre

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