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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  August 2, 2018 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

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he is accused of ignoring mestic abuse accusations against a former assistant. as nbc's miguel almaguer shows us, the alleged victim says mer and his wife knew about the violence. >> reporter: the face ofhio state football, legendary coa urban meyer out of the game, placed on administrative leave.y the univers hudding with investigators. ey issue dr know of abuse allegations against assistant coach zack smith involving ex-wife courtney smith. >> i do believe he knew and instead he chose to help the abuser. >> reporter: speaking to watch stadium.com, smith filed multiple police reports including this one, the defendan grabbed the victim by her t-shirt, picked her up and threw her into the bedroom wall. the was pregnant with the defendant's child. smith says she also shared these photos with myers's wife shelly. nbc news has not verified those
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messages. >> she thoughthe was going to have to tell urban. i said that's fine. you know? you should tell urban. >> meyer who fired smith last . we >> i was never told about anything, says in a statement, i agree that being on leave during this inquiry will facilitate its completion. ck smith's attorney says he want to be as honest as possible. smith has not been charged with a crime. under meyer's $7.6 million a year contract,eq he'sred to report any violation of ohio state's sexual misconduct policy. failure to doo could cost him his job. >> facing a blitz ofpressure, ohioe' stat football coach sideline miguel ,almagu nbc news. next on news4, a race against time to save virginia family members trapped in rip currents. >> only on news4, the inspiring story of a local student who used personal tragedy to dedicate his life to serving his
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country. today a h specior for his efforts. >> and breaking tonight, a wall >> and breaking tonight, a wall of dust blank welcome guys! hi! you are gonna love the neighborhood! it's totally wired for fios. is that a good thing? good? fiber-optics can move crazy amounts of data at even crazier speeds. and fios is a 100% fiber-optic network, so you can stream, game, and watch 4k shows all at once. kid's right about that! see! we are gonna have so much fun here. 100% fiber-optic network. 100% phenomenal. get the fastest speeds available for the best price with the fios gigabit connection.
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we've got rain here we're keeping an eye on. in arizona it's a different situation. check out the wall of dust. it is swallowing phoenix tonight. at one point thisust cloudas moving at 20 miles an hour. tolde who live there were to be prepared tonight for damaging winds, flash flooding and hail. >> despite the violent upbringing aeorge mason university scholar is being recognized for his dedication 0
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others named a pat tillman scholar named for the former nfl player killed in combat in 2004. bureau reporter dave culver brings us an inspiring story of determination you'll only see on news4. >> reporter: even in the midst of war, photos can capture a young boy's curiosity. picture after picture of thisaq child next to u.s. and coalition forces. fromhe military checkpoints to inside the u.s. embassy, some must he wondered who is he. >> i remember having a great,mo greatt of respect and admiration for what they did. >> the young miller fan i ali nayef now 23, working to get his masters as george mason university in fairfax, virginia. a place tt seems so far from he war-torn baghdad he once called home. >> i've seen all sorts of stuff that kid of that age shouldn't see or experience at all. >> reporter: his father amir
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served as an int.preter to u and coalition forces. while he could not shield son from blood shed, he embraced a sort of take your son toy workpproach introducing him to a life of servicen a love of two countriesqoth ira and the united states. >> we were close. we were very close. >> reporter: in january 2008 while taking his daughter to dhool, al qaeda kil amir. >> when he lost hislife,hat really took a toll on myself and my family, as well. >> ralorter: and his family turned to the soldiers with whom his dad>>worked. e saw something in me and really took the risk of saying he this is somebody who is worthy of t comeether united states and worthy to wear the uniform. >> reporter:hich brings us back to ali's career path. that young boy in awe with the military, so much so that he joined a virginia army national guard right out of high school. >> a skinny iraqi kid at 16 can come here, can join the
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military, and become an american. r>> reporter: no lon curious child, but a fellow american soldier. in fairfax, david culver, news4. >> an a story. what an amazing childhood. what amazing life. >> he's april pressive young man. >> he is. what a great legacy for the tillman family. it's awesome good luck, man. several members of a virginia family had to be rescued after gettit caup in rip currents this afternoon. the family was a vacationing emerald isle north carolina and that area had wned about dangerous ocean conditions for 11 straight gapz they lifted that flag warning today. mother notic her teenagers were getting d pulled intoeep we'res and began to struggle out there in the surf. the combination of lifeguards and firefighters had to go out there and pull everybody to safety. >> it was pretty rough and i was really scared that i like last week when the guy passed away, i
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was really scared that something bad would happen to me or my cster. >> thald be terrifying. firefighters say no one had to be sent to the hospital. au okay. >> maybe had he put the flags back up. >> a packed public mee fairfax county tonight to talk about a major vdot p close a ramp on the beltway after complaints about rush hour affic in mclean. it was held at mclean high school. that ramp goes from georgetown pike to the inner loop just before the american legion bridge into maryland. it would only be closed from 1:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. on weekdays. the closure wou be slow track down in some areas and speed it up in others. the changes are t project get more drivers through the areaer. >> how about some changes to this drench, rinsend repeat pattern we're stuck in here still. >> you'd like the changes as much as anybody. >> absolutely. we can not catch a break and more rain is in the forecast tomorrow.
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more heavy rain especially during the afternoon and ening hours. we're in storm team 4 weather alert mode through at lst tomorrow. we'll probably extend that into saturday morning when that flash flood watch is in effect. take a look at your weather headlines. weather alert mode for flooding. heavy rain again tomorrow especially during the late afternoon and eveni hours. the weekend is looking mainly dry. potentlly some showe out there early saturday morning. after that, most of the time if not the entire time it's going to be dry. here's a look at rainfalls amounts acr the area today. and d.c. annapolis really had a lot of rain. district just over an inch annapolis at about an inch and a half of thrain. e are the current look of radar. we're tracking meager showers out there right now. see the continue to potential for squattered showers overnight tonight and the chance for showers outhere tomorrow morning. otherwise, plenty of clouds throughout the day. haze sunshine at times.
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we're not talking about blue skies. 7:00 a.m. at 74. high of 83. during the afternoon and eveni hours we'll see scattered thunderstorms, as well with more flooding concerns in the forecast. with all the rain, we're seeing mold spores coming in high now. i posted more about this on my cebook and twitter pains. they'll stay high through at least tomorrow maybe into the weekend. we have dry time in the forecast over the weekend. saturday a high of 88. 30 to 40% chance of morning owers till 9:00 a.m. maybe an isolated shower for your saturday afternoon or evening. i really think it's going to be dry with increasing sunshine as we look to sunday, there's the chance for anla id afternoon thunderstorm out there. but for most part, plenty of sunshine on s and a high temperature of 90. as far as the humidity levels go, it's muggy right now. it's going to stay muggy through wednesday. so monday and tuesday to sta th workweek, we'll have highs in the low 90s with partly sunny
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skies. on wednesday, the chance for afternoon thunderstorms. and aoo pretty chance right now with high temperatures near0 degrees. thunderstorms on wednesday lower our humidity levels for thursday. it's a one-dayt. ev the humidity builds back in on friday with a chance for more thunderstos out ere. and then the following weekend, not this weekend but next weekendight w, we'll keep it dry. last weekend was gorgeous. this weekend not looking all that bad. despite all the rain, i'm ooking for the silver linin here. at least the weekends are okay out there. you can get outthere. the joke is you can stain your decking. > don't wash the car.at a waste of time. >> not worth it. >> thanks. >> you know whas just as welcome as the sun in your forecast in the return of football. football's officially back. the preseasonht kickoff tonig and former skin robert griffin iii is wearing ranches pple ur
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this is thety xfi "sportsdesk." >> if i said it once, i've said it a thousand times. time flies when you're runni pass routes in shorts. that doesn't exact flow but it's true. fieek of training camp is in the books. that means a day off tomoow. team probably needs to recover and get some time off from the shockingevelation by wide receiver paul richardson to sher re-burriss he l ketchup on tacos. his cuisine but not -- i know it's wrong. cuisine debatable but not his
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commitment. uarterback alex smith and wide receiver paul richardson have been connected since he both arrived in washington. they were introduced on the same day. and from the moment they arrived to four months later on field, the two arelready in sync. >> we've been doing together. we connect on a lot of deep balls this past week. fa like to see that. we've been having a ball. he made it a point of familye'is and been executing. > we both came in this offseason, went through and t talk the film guys. they were like alex was just here. you guys ar both coming in and are on thepaame ge. since we got here, wad h the same mind-set come in, get acclimated and attack the playbook. >> here we go. >> it's a girl. eric and sarah phelps f nd out their third child will be g airl thanks to long snapper nk sundberg. the couple arein lifelong redsk fans. the family reached out on
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helped to sundberg and to makehis gender reveal the start to an exciting time for their family. >>'m happy we're getting a baby girl that's going to fill our house. i'm playing with house money, i'm winning into baby girl is due december 15th just one day before the redskins play jacksonville. from richmond,herree burress, news4 sports. >> no pink footballs in canton, ohio. jo flacco for t hall of fame against the bears that, guy robert griffin iii getting another chance in the nfl. first quarter griffin's pass intercepted by d'andre carson. sean perryman knew he could have d that one.he later in first it, griffin hits for the and finishes 7 touchdown and a reception. we wishim well. lamar jackson's turn tun r the show. you know what jackson does? why not connect with another
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rookie, hayden for the touchdown. 33 yard one td, ravens win 17-10 over the bears. we know this guy, jim rigglemanr fo nationals manager now interim manager of the reds. nationals up 1-0 in the second. scherzer the pitche knocks in rookie of the month juan soto. scherzer now on a five-game hitting streak. nice job. two batters later, trea turner is going to rip this up the middle. daniel murphy and scherzer we owed you before scored. part of a six-run second inning. scherzer adds a homer later. nats win. ood oldw, these are the days. enjoy them. three wins in a row. >> it's like they've completely flipped the switch. flipped the switch. >> howo you do that?
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(birds chirping, a running brook,) flipped the switch. >> howo you do that? ahh. the new deer park sparkling is made with real spring water. ♪ it's so refreshing and delicious, you don't need slo-mo models to sell it. real spring water, real fruit flavors and refreshing bubbles. just what's refreshingly real. you have a new job now, i do. it's a busy, busy place. whenever you're ready. it happens every time. i've got it. and every time, she wins. you always do this. no, no. i insist.
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it's on me. alright. but you have the bb&t app with zelle who are you texting? oh, uh no one. i really should go back. and can pay the bill before she even leaves the restaurant. beth! ah... the taste of victory! bb&t. all we see is you. i had life-treatening bleeding in my brain. but thanks to the virtual reality technology at gw hospital, my surgeons were able to look inside my brain and plan for a successful surgery. it's remarkable that i woke up and ran five miles this morning. i would tell gw hospital thank you for giving me new life. for life's defining moments the george washington univeristy hospital defining medicine.
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okay. by the way, ravins won 17-16 over the
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in
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rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- ray romano, lauren miller rogen, musical guest leon bridges, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 907, alask >> steve: and now, here's your host, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers andpplause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. oh, my goodness. that's a great crowd right there.ve
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welcome,body. welcome to "the tonight show."th is it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. let's get to some nee, following his rally in florida on tuesday, tonight president trump held another rally in pennsylvania, but after two rallies in 48 hours, even trump is running out of facts to make up. [ laughter ] my approval ratting's better than beyonce's. [ light laughter ] trump gave a speech in pennsylvania, but things got a a little awkward when he started ranting abt how no amish people follow him on twitter. [ laughter ] [ applause ] yeah, catch up. take your time. [ cheers and applause ] take your time with that one. that's right. trump went to pennsylvania, where he spoke in support of re blican congressional candidate lou barletta, but trump only endorsed lou barletta 'cause he thought the guy who sang "mambo number 5." [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ ♪ a little bit of melania in my life little bit of stormy would be ♪ no. [ cheers and applause ] >> jim: guys, i heard that this week at the white house,
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trump met with a group of st s. apparently the pastors wanted to see what it is like to meet someone who's broken all ten commandments. [ laughter and applause ] eleven. i saw that this morning, trump's commerce secretary wilbur ross did an interview on fox business network.ly this is reunny. he was talking so slowly that they actually cut to commerciale before he was peaking. [ light laughter ] this is real. watch this. >> what i do know is that if the press reports are true, this is another sign of china using government intervention to influence what should be purely commercial decisions. >> rt ht. grpoint. secretary, good to -- >> that's exactly -- >> yeah. >> from the beginning, wells fargo has supported community organization. >> jimmy: what is -- [ applause ] wow. anyway the point of it all is i love oatal. can we check back in on wilbur ross? >> we would complete or -- >> jimmy: alright. thank you, that's enough. gosh.me ntertainment news.
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warner brothers just announced they're going to reboot the 80'sv show, "alf." yeah. and this is crazy. president trumkehas already alf to be commander of the space force. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: i think that's an -- i think that's -- >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: it's a ficr.onal charac get this. i heard that lebron james went on the court and showed off his skills before his son's basketba game. all the other parents were like cool, but you were supposed to bring orange slices, so did you bring those? laughter ] yeah. [ applause ] i saw that dunkin' donuts just troduced its first ever gluten-free menu item. [ cheers and applause ] perfect for people who care 'tout what they put in their body, but also d don't go to dunkin' donuts. well listen to this. ihop says that their burger sales quadrupled after they changed their name to rsternational house of bur that's right, they sold four burgers. >> steve: wow. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: i ard about a woman here in new york who's suing canada dry ginger ale, claiming the soda doesn't contain actual ginger. turns out this isn't her first lawsuit. take a look at these other cases she's involved in. first, she filed a lawsuit against i can't believe it's , not buttd said, i could tell right away this isn't butter. then she filed at awsuit agaier nuts and said, these things barely got me buzzed. also she filed a lawsuit against grape nuts, and said, not to be the person quoting "seinfeld," but these are ne her grapes nor nuts. then you go, look, she's taking these too literally. [ applause ] got to slow it down. check this out, kentucky just hosted a convention where 525 ventriloquists from around the country got together. ventriloquists called it very fun while the hotel bartender cr called it thpiest night of my life. i'll have a scot rocks.e this is crazy here. an engineer is now making outdoor pods so young people can live in their parents' st front yards d of the
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house. take a look at this thing. yeah.ye . it works great as long as you don't live on a hill because then you just -- [ laughter ] llapplause ] rolling, rolling, g. finally you guys. the president tweets so much and sometimes is hard to keep track of everything he's tweeting. so we thought it might be helpful if we went through all of his tweetfrom this past week, and set it to a beat. it's time for "tweets with beats." ♪ tweets [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: alright, here's how this works. everything i say is from an actual tweet by president trump. once again, these are real tweets. want to start us off tariq? >> tariq: yes, let's go. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sunday the numberspr had thident thinking that he's the best ♪ ♪ that includes honest abe lincoln ♪ ♪ but even donald thought that the sry can't be whole he said ♪ ♪ there must be something wrong please recheck that poll ♪ ♪ okay now this is trump's twitter someone's got to get dissed he's like ♪ ♪ the only thing the democrats do well is resist ♪ ♪ and resistance
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a thing that donald wants to prevent but ♪ ♪ i would be willing to shut down the government ♪ ♪ now paul manafort he might do time but the president said ♪ ♪ collusion is not a crime ♪ ♪ and then he flipped l it backware an optical illusion saying ♪ ♪ but that doesn't matter because there was no collusion m ♪ okay heants the press to just leave him alone and they've been ♪ ♪ driven insane by their trump derangement syndrome ♪ ♪ he closed out with a shout out to kim jong-un like ♪ ♪ thank you for your nice letter i look forward to seeing you soon ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a gheat show to give it up to the roots everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪th >> jimmy: ohk you very much, roots. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, roots. thank you, higgins. good to see you. thank you, everybody. we have a great show tonight, he stars in the television series "get shorty."
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he's super, super funny, but also, what a great actor he is as well. >> steve: oh, he's great. >> jimmy: ray romano is here you guys! steve: come on. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. [ applause ] ray romano! i love ray romano. we're going to catch up with hi and then ray and i are going to play a fun game called "wheel of opinions." that's goingo be fun. remember that bit ray did -- gosh, it's one of my favorite bits ever. i mean he's one of my favorite comedians ever, but he said, gu "how about tha-- how about the guy that climbed mount everest, and he didn't at tell his wife e's climbing mount everest. how do you not tell your wife you' climbing mount everest? like neil armstrong's wife sitting in the living room going -- that neil?" [ laughter ] is that neil? that's my favorite joke. he does it better than -- plus, she wrote and directed avi a new netflix called "like father," lauren miller rogen is stopping by tonight.rs [ chnd applause ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: it's a good movie. very talented. and we have music from leon bridges, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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guys, it is time for tonight's show hashtags. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtag hasghtags ♪ >> jimmy: hey, everybody, we do this thing every week where i send out hashtag, and we ask you guys to respond to that topic. so since a lot of kids are summer camp right now. i sent out a hashtag called, "my weird bunkmate." [ laughter ] and i asked you guys to send us funny or weird stonkes about a a te that you've had. within thirty minutes it was a a trending topic in the u.s. so thank you for playing al[ g. eers and applause ] it's a fun game. we do it every week. now i thought i would share f some of orite weird bunkmate stories from you guys. here we go. this first one is from @smilingnialler. she says, "my bunkmate wlyld very quihisper, 'thank you, potato' before going to bed. we thought it was a joke until the last day of camp, we found the potato she kept under e pillow."
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you, potato. >> steve: thank you, potato. >> jimmy: yeah. that's not weird. yeah. this one is from trent zam. on steve: zam! >> jimmy: he says,night i woke up, and my bunkmate was standing over me doing karate moves in his sleep. the next morning he told me if that happened again tolay still and wait for the fight to end." okay. okay, that's what i'll d [ shouting ] >> jimmy: everybody was -- >> steve: thank you, potato.ov [ singin each other ] ♪ >> jimmy: this one is from @missbrianajorda she says, "i once shared a a cabin with this girl who slepunder the bed. when i asked her why she said because the monsters won't expect this." [ laughter and applause ] >> this one's from @joshalent.
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he says, "one of my bunkmates didn't tell anyone about his morning alarm, it was set to a a techno song that begins by screaming fire!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] every body was -- this one is from @mebutterderp. >> steve: me butter derp. >> jimmy: i'm just -- i'm jealous that's not my twitter name. >> steve: me butter rp. >> jimmy: she says, "one time my bunkmate walked into our cabin, put a spatula under a a pillow, looked up at me, and said, you saw nothing, and left." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: she fried the potato. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one is from @izdiddyzi. >> steve: iz diddy zi. >> jimmy: she says, "my best friend at camp drove everyone crazy by making a mosqui noise as soon as it went lights out. when they turned on the lights she'd stop. when they'd turn them off again, she'd buzz again." [ applause ]
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this one's from @jillittle, she says, "the girl in the bunk u below d to hide tater tots under her bed. one night i heard grunting, asked what she was doing, she said, i can't get the ketchup open." ♪ everybody was eating potatoes ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: uh, this last one here is from @courtjesster83. she says, "my bunkmates snuck her stank ass ferret into camp. it our macaroni crafts, and crapped in our suitcases. thanks a lot, jessica." [ applause ] >> jimmy: there you have it. those are our tonight show hashtags, and check out more of our favorites go to gh tohow.com/hashtag. stick around. we'll be right back with ray romano. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ nn jimmy: our first guest is a a three-time emmy starring in the acclaimed rttelevision series "get s" season two premieres sunday august 12th at 9:00 p.m. on
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epix. please give a warm welcome to ray romano. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> awesome. >> jimmy: looking sharp. [ cheers ]od looking welcome back to the show. >> good to be back. thk you everybody. >> jimmy: please. all right, come on. [ cheers ] we're happy to have you.ov weit every time you are here. >> let me go to the water real early. >> jimmy: yeah, got to the wateimmediately. how is everything going buddy? >> great. good to be back. you know, this is my home. new york's my hometown. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. cheers and applause ] family good? .> family's still he went to visit them all. mom is going to be 90 in a a couple months. two months, my mom will be 90, yeah. >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> doing good. >> jimmy: whoa, good for her. >> she's doing good.
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she had her hip repl.ed, of cour that's what -- i mean it's a a requirement almost when you're -- yeah. [ light laughter ] but she had her hip replaced. and this was interesting. we were in the hospital. my two -- i have two brothers.ou i have aer brother robert, older brother richard. and we were there, andhe was coming out of anesthesia. and the doctor camin. and they try to see if she's fully out of anesthesia. so he's asking her que. so he said, "lucie, how many kids do you have?" and she said, "four." so she only has thre so we -- [ light laughter ] yeah, so she's still a little loopy. >> jimmy: still a little loopy, yeah. >> and then the doctor says, "what are their names?" and she said, "richard, richard, richard, and richard." four richards. [ laughter ] four richards. and we laughu . look, t to laugh. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> i'll be honest. richard laughed a little more then me and robert. [ laughter ] he did. richard's like, "ha ha!" we were like, "heh, yeah." [ light laughter >> jimmy: yeah. >> i am not going to get --
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look, i'm not going to get pissed at my mother. she's 89. she's coming out of anesthesia. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i just thought, you know, "how strong is this anesthesia? 'cause if she's going to name four names, one of them can't be the guy who bought her a a house?" [ laughter ] [ applause ] that guy.>> immy: okay, mom? ♪ ray. a >> hut -- >> jimmy: raymond. >> how about the guy who bought the hip? how about that guy? ] [ laught that guy can't get a shout out? >> jimmy: not just the house, hi thas well. >> four rich -- an extra richard. a phantom richard. >> jimmy: a phantom richard. >> but she's great. she's great. >> jimmy: good, yeah. >> she -- although, she's -- ha here'si am learning. when you're 80 --when you're up there, 'cause i heard this about when people get older, they lose the filter. they lose the filter. they just say things. my mom i-- was a piano acher, juilliard, the whole thing. >> jimmy: wow. >> private, you know, ry reserved
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she is saying stuff. o she said ter day -- this is unsolicited. [ light laughter ] she said to me, "you know, i stayed with your fatr so long, because the sex was very good." [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] let me tell you something. i think i hyperventilated. [ laughter ] i am going to tell you something folks. he only thing more disturbi than picturing your parents having sex is picturing them having good se [ laughter ] eagot that. i got that in my [ applause ] >> jimmy: got that in my head.d. the sex is g oh, my goodness. >> the only good thing is my kids will never haveo worry about that. my wife -- ] [ laught let me tell you something. now matter how senile my wife gets, that is not coming o of her mouth. [ laughter ] that is not -- she'll be like,
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"he -- it was three minutes. but he had a lot of money." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how are the kids? how the kids doing? >> good. the kids are older, man. they're oldemenow. they -- -- >> jimmy: how old are they? >> my youngest is 20 now, yeah. >> jimmy: really? >> what are the yours? >> jimmy: five and three. >> yeah, man. [ laughter ]oe itfast. i know -- right now, you praise and it's this and that. , om, like that. but here's the thi doesn't end. the parenting never ends. thworrying never ends. the aggravation never ends. my mother is worrying about four richards right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but there's a phantom richard. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i have -- you know, i have three boys, too. my oldest is the girl. you have a what? >> jimmy: i have two girls. >> aw. >> jimmy: i know. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the best. >> no, because they're good people. [ laughter ] my son -- >>immy: what is his doing? >> all right, here he is. he's -- so i have twin boys. and he's -- 24-year-old twins. so one of them, he has a new girlfriend.
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so he's still living at home. he calls the other day at i 1:the morning. he calls, he says, "dad, i'm driving back. my car says i got 14 miles to go. my gas gauge say 'till empty." so i'm like, "okay, greg. what -- is this a math problem? are you having a math problem?" [ laughter ] why is he calling me -- >> jimmy: it's a s.a.t. question.>> eah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> 14 is greater than two. [ laughter ] go to the gas station. 05t off the -- he's on the >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's on the 405, you know, the massive highway. >> jimmy: it's a freeway. >> yes. i said, "get off. go get gas." he goes, "i cacat. e my debit card is at zero. and zero is less than all those numbers." >> jimmy: it's another test. [ laughter ] >> and so then i say -- first, i'm mad. like, why is he letting this happen? and then, i say, "all right, just stay on the phone until you get home. i'll stay on the phone to make sure you get home in time."
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he goes, "okay. but i don't have my charger. [ laughter ] and i have 1% left on my phone." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my gosh! too much math. >> yes, exactly. and i'm just so -- you know, i'm worried. at i'm so aggravated. why is he letting i'm like, "greg, why do you do this?" he goes, "look, i don't know. --" boop! it goes dead. the phone goes dead. [ laughter ] the phone is dead. so now i have to wonder what -- i'm in my underwear. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 1:00 in the morning. yes. do i have to get up and patrol the 405? [ laughter ] no, because -- i mean it -- look, what's going happen? but he's going to be there with nothing, no phone, no money. and you know, the 405 gets a a litt deserted for awhile. >> jimmy: sure. >> and finally, i go. i talked to my wife. i go, "you got to go." i get dressed.nt i gothe driveway. i get in. and he pulls in. and he made it. and he la-dee-das past -- "yeah, i made it." so he learned nothing. he learned nothing. [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] yeah >> jimmy: he learned nothing in that whole thing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's perfect. that is absolutely perfect. i don't know if you saw, we had jon hamm on our show. and he did an impression of you. >> i heard about it. >> jimmy: you heard about this? >> i heard about it. didn't see it. but i heard about it. >> jimmy: we have a clip if you would like to see it. >> yeah, let's see it. >> jimmy: this is jon hamm. >> let's see jon hamm. >> here's my impression of ray romano playing golf. but yore -- i need your help. >> jimmy: oh, sure. >> can you do, like, the sound of a golf, like a -- [ whack ] - likeyou know, a thing? >> jimmy: course. >> ready? >> jimmy: ready? [ whack ] >> "oh." [ laughter ] [ applause ] do it again. do it again. [ whack ] "come on." [ laughter ]wh k ] "oh, be right." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> l me tell you something. let me tell you something. >> jimmy: not bad. >> first of all, it's flattery isn't that supposed to be the highest form of flattery?s, >> jimmy: f course.
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an impression, yeah.ut >>t's also, if you think about it, it's like a double insult. h because, wels making fun of my voice. and he's making fun of my golf game. [ laughter ] i don't hit that may bad shots. he's talking about a time when we played golf together. >> jimmy: ye >> yeah. and another thing, i don't want to take anything away from jon hamm. j my: yeah. >> but here's what pisses me off about it. [ laughter ] no, but he's handsome. and he's funny. >> jimmy: i know. >> that son of a bitch. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] i'm mad, too. >> yeah.'m >> jimmy: now,ad too. >> yes. i don't -- >> jimmy: i will never have him back on the show, ever. >> here's him. here's jon hamm hitting a bad golf shot. go ahead. do the thing. [ laughter ] [ whack ] "i don't give a --, i look like this." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: come on, that's how you do it. i love you in "get shorty." >> thank you. t jimmy: you're fantastic. gee, you're a grtor, dude. i love that you get to spread the dramatic -- >> thanks. >> jimmy: you just did the
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jon hamm impression. [ laughter ]u st did it. you just did the jon hamm -- you just did it. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you just did it. [ applause ] no, but you're so good at it. >> i appreciate it. >> jimmy: i love seeing you. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: i love you seeing you be funny. but i al love seeing that side of you as well. for the people that haven't seen it, watch the first season. >> it's a good show. it's a fun show. it's a fun show to do. >> jimmy: what is it about, for those that haven't see it? an>> it's based on the boo then the movie. but it's much more intense -- >> jimmy: elmore leonard, yeah. >> it's a mob hitman for aal a time syndicate, you know, small-time crime ring. and he wants tget out. he wants to make a movie. and he finds me. i'm a washed up movie producer. and he doesn't really know who i am. and it's just the two worlds colliding. and it's funny, it's comedy. but it's pretty intensmy-- >> jyeah. >> -- and scary too. yeah, it's cool. >> jimmy: season two is scary? >> well, i mean, yeah, i guess so. o seas was scary. i was naked in season one. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, that's right. [ light laughter ] you were naked in season one. >> not in two. for -- i'm gonna -- ise you. i'm not naked in season two. >> jimmy: no nudity in season two. >> you can watch seasotwo,
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yeah. safely. >> jimmy: without worrying about seeing -- yeah. i want to show a clip from the show. want to set it up for us? >> this is -- well, i end up actually having a relationship with the head of the little mob ring. and she's this woman who is just diabolical. and she's cutthroat, and she's a killer. and i don't really know until i find outbi and then theuts a wire on me. and i go to try to find fo from her. and i don't know what i'm doing. and thiss the fbi trying to brief me on how to get info from this killer woman. >> jimmy: here's ray romano and felicity huffman in the season r two iere of "get shorty." take a look. >> listen, i don't know about that. because she never wao talk about it. >> oh, let's try doing a a role-play game. you be amara. and i'll be you. >> you're me? >> amara, it kills me to see u you et. are you okay? is there anything i can do to help? >> you're amara.
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>> yeah, i get it. >> if you need a shoulder to lean on, i'm right here. i know how much you have going on. is it business? or is it personal? >> all right, look, if i say that, my head ends up in a a garbage bag. >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. ray ro[ no everybody. eers and applause ] season two -- >> you know what? i do sound like that. >> jimmy: no, you don't. et shorty." "get shorty" premieres august 12th at 9:00 pm on epix. when we come back, ray and i are playing "wheel of opinions." stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ broke my personal record. aflac!? no-good break. gooood break. i'm so sorry we can't make your barbecue. i'm just sick about it. aflac!? different kind of sick. if i can't work after surgery, how am i gonna pay my rent? all these bills? aflac! oh, aflac!
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♪ all the ways at the store, or to your door. target run and done. experience the versatilityy to of utility. ♪ with the highest form of luxury and the highest function of capability, you can be in your element... in any element. experience a range of suvs, perfect for any adventure at the lexus golden opportunity sales event. experience amazing at your lexus dealer.
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(birds chirping, a running ahh.k,) the new deer park sparkling is made with real spring water. ♪ it's so refreshing and delicious, you don't need slo-mo models to sell it. real spring water, real fruit flavors and refreshing bubbles. just what's refreshingly real. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we are here with ray romano right there, ladies and gentleme [ cheers and applause ] ray, you are a great comedian and part of your job is to he strong opinions about all different kinds of things.
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so with that in mind, i want to play a game that we like to call "wheel of opinions." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ wheel of opinions yeah ♪ >> jimmy: how it works is you're going to hit this button here which activates opinion topic generator. it's going to land on a random topic. onatever it is, you have to give your opiniot. you ready? >> right away? i have to give my opinion right away? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i would like -- i fantastic but you can think about it if you want to. all right, here we go. all right, go ahead and press the button and see what opin you're gonna -- what topic. yep. [ beeping ] [ light laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: bunk bed >> well, i have four kids. so we had bunk beds. because i have twins. so, of course, i'm pro bunk bed. [ light laughter ] i like the idea that you can yo stac kids. [ laughter ]ik no, it'sa new york parking garage, you know? [ applause ] yeah.
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>> jimmy: a new york parking garage. >> yes. [ ding ] that's it, are we done? >> jimmy: yeah, that's the way it works. they ding it. all right, let's give it another go here. >> i hit it? >> jimmy: yep. >> okay. [ beeping ] blowing kisses. ing kisses.l >> you know something? i know, you didn't have to demonstrate. i know what blowing kisses is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm a professional. >> i know. t know. >> jimmy: sorry abat, yeah. >> as a matter of fact, i kind of wish blowing kisses was the standard because this way -- first of all, i'm a germaphobe. mean, like at a party -- at a a party, you got to say hello to people. >> jimmy: yeah.on >> i know if you have gotten caught. i've gotten caught in the -- is this a cheek kisor is this a -- oh, no, you got to feel it out, right? >> jimmy: it's a fast decision, yeah. >> yeah, you gotta kind of bob with the head a little. [ light laughter ] and then, you gotta -- i've gotten caught leaning too far, and then, you've got to go i you've got to go and if she's wht -- if she wasn't expecting it, then i got tper -- i
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got to come up with something sp to w. alight laughter ] oh, the potato chi stale, stay away from the potato chips. [ laughter ] so i'm for it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're for blowing kisses. >> you know what, if we could -- >> jimmy: that's better, it's an easier life if you do that. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: you know, i met inclive davis once at thisr and i've never met him before i was with my mom and dad. i go, "i got to say hi t clive davis." so i went over to say hi to clive. i go, "hi, mr. davis, pleasure to meet you." and he goes -- [ light laughter ] i go -- "does he want me to kiss him on the cheek?" i was like -- so i go -- [ laughter ] and he looked at me like -- he goes, "i st couldn't hear what you were saying." [ laughter and applause ] sorry, dude. i thought you -- [ ding ] here we go.on we've gomore here. here we go. yeah, here we go, yeah. [ beeping ] >> dogs. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: i love dogs. >> i have three dogs myself. actually, we wanned -- one is ow. we have two. [ audience awes ]
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here's what -- yeah, let me talk about that. [ light laughter ] i have a little gripe with the big guy.ar if dogour best friend, why don't they live as long as h us -is their life span are so short? somebody's -- he's goto fix that >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know what he should do? [ applause ] >> jimmy: he's hearing you right now. >> shave a couple years off the tortoise, righ the tortoise -- [ laughter ] no! >> jimmy: they live to long. >> 150 years! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just give a couple to the dogs. >> i bet he would be -- i'll be you the tortoise would be for it. cause -- [ light laughter ] he don't mind checking out a a little -- what does he do? he cws on a leaf for 60 years. [ light laughter ] and then he turns to the right. [ laughter ]ow you that's all he does. [ ding ] >> jimmy: that's all the time we have for "wheel of opinions." >> i like it! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ray romano right there. we'll be right back with lauren miller rogen, everybody! come on.
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