Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  August 22, 2018 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

11:34 pm
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- leslie jones, emily ratajkowski, musical guest greta van fleet,
11:35 pm
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 9-0-3.xa northeast te >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. thank you, thank you. w welcomcome, welcome, welcome, to "the tonight show." you're here. [ cheers and applause ] you made it, thank you. well, some news out of washington, as part of the es russia igation, robert mueller is now reviewing president trump's tweets to see
11:36 pm
if he obstructed justice. in, the next time you comp about your job, think of the guy who has to read 40,000 trump tweets. [ laughter and applaus speaking of the president, trump travelled to iday. he's under so much pressure about russia and the michael cohen tapes, he said, "i got to get out of the country. take me to iow [ laughter and applause ] i got to get out. i don't want to see an" , i saw that trump held an event this week where he talked about making trade deals with other countries, which is lled reciprocal trade. listen to what he said about it. o >> we'll ake trade fairer and more reciprocal. f orite word, reciprocal. [ laughter and applause ] l >> jimmy: e reciprocal. i always -- reciprocal my coke bottles, puthem in the reciprocal bin. [ laughter and applause ] always." get this, guys i read that on a rect air force one flight, trump got mad
11:37 pm
that melania tv was tuned to cnn instead of fox news. [ audience ohs ] people were like, "thas crazy. donald and melania flew in the same plane?" [ laughter and applause ] i mean, what is going on here? this is interesting. i heard that trump is more scared of running ag joe biden than any other democrat in 2020. well, democrats have heard him loud and clear so now they're pushing for biden to run. in fact, they even came up with some campaign slogans. check this out first there's "biden 2020, trading thumbs up for finger guns." [ laughter and applause ] then there's "biden 2020let's keep this old white guy thing going." [ laughter and applause ] and finally there's "biden 2020, because obama can't run again." cheers and applause ] pretty good to me. listen to this you guys. last night a heckler showed up at sean spicer's book signing. spicer was like, "sweet, someone showed up to my book
11:38 pm
signing." [ laughter ] but a heckler showed up to spicer's signing at barnes & oble and called him a pie garbage. [ light laughter ] and security wth like, "okay, 's enough, mr. president. let's go back to iowa." [ laughter and applause ] "take me to iowa." but the other news has been crazy. and sometimes it feelsthe stories are just kind of made up, like someone just blended a a bunch of them together. which got us thinking, what if the headlines were actually it n that way? so we took some real headlines, blended them together to see ifr the new s were any crazier than the actual news. [ light laughter ] take a look. first ample, if you blend the stories, trump threatens president of iran, bachelorette enters fantasy suite -- [ light laughter ] and naked man exercises at planet fitness, we getrump threatens to exercise naked in fantasy suite.nd [ laughterpplause ] you see what i'm saying? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: so -- [ apause ] next up, if you blend the stories, tape of trump discussing playboy model aq released, wims in cage with sharks, and baby born in chick-fil-a -- [ light laughter ]
11:39 pm
we get trump releasetape of playboy model swimming in a a cage with chik-fil-a. [ laughter and applause ] sounded interesting. and finally, if you blend the stories, call of duty player dumps hot girliend, severe rain hits east coast, and goldfish crackers contain salmonella -- [ light laughter ] we get after eating salmonella g goldfilfriend has severe call of doody. >> steve: whoa. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: they might be crazier than today's headlines. [ light laughter ] this is interesting, i i heard that you can now buy a lego version of the hogwarts castle that's made up of 6,00es. [ audience ohs ]'r thgiving it a name for anyone who finishes it, "he who must not be dating anyone." [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] and finally, guys, as we mentioned earlier, the president tweets so much. and sometimes it'sacard to keep of everything he's tweeting. so we thought it might be helpful if we went through all the tweets fm this past week and set it to a beat. it's time for "tweets with beats." here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause
11:40 pm
>> jimmy: all right. so here's how this works. everything i say is from an actual tweet by president trump. once again, these are tweets. do you want to start us off, tariq? >> tariq: yes, sir. >> jimmy: yeah. ♪ monday donald said cohen just wasn't believablet said checking ♪ ♪ his office was inconceivable totally unheard of and perhaps illegal ♪ ♪ especially with a tape-recorded tape under the table then the cohen tapes leaked ♪ ♪ man he didn't want that called it a rigged witch hunt headed by ♪ ♪ the angry democratse thenok it back on up to 2016 blaming crooked hillary ♪ ♪ and thenc so the fbi is out looking for collusion while the president tweets ♪ ♪ i had a great meeting with putin ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ he put the caps lock on arted beef with iran said never ever threaten the united states again ♪ ♪ now never mind the grammar no time for editing he said that robert muller ind conflicted a discredited ♪ ♪ he dissed his lawyer europe and even amazon but don't worry your favorite president ♪ ♪ did nothing wrong [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show
11:41 pm
tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and app♪use ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guys. thank you, roots. [ cheers and applause welcome, everybody. we have an awesome show tonight. from "saturday night live," e slie jones is here tonight. [ cheers and appla funny, funny, funny. >> steve: love my leslie. >> jimmy: plus she stars opposite aaron pauin the new thriller "welcome home." emily ratajkowski is stopping by tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we have great new music tonight. if you like rock and roll. [ cheers and alause ] you're going to get it tonight. these guys do nomess around. they might blow the screen right off your tv. ♪
11:42 pm
their new single went straight to number one on the itunes rock charts. performing the tv debut of "when the curtain falls," greta van fleet is here. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] th're good, man. they are good. they are loud. you justant a taste? there's like these -- man, they're just killer. i'll just give you this -- steve: just bust me off a sample. >> jimmy: it's just rad. check this out. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't even give you a taste. greta van fleet is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: freaky. wand blown. >> jimmy: guys, watching tv the other day. i was just flipping through the channels. and i came across this show on teen nick called "ew!." [ light laughter ] pretty good show. a lot of people say i'm li the main character, who was a a little girl.
11:43 pm
[ light laughter ] >> steve: th is weird. >> jimmy: and her co-star, they say she looks like sp britners. but that would be impossible because britney is very busy e ght now. she's on her "pi me" tour. she has her "prerogative" perfume out right now. she wouldn't have time. there would be no way that she do d do the show or i cou the show i don't know. take a look for yourselves. here is the latest episode of "ew!." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. welcome to "ew!" i'm sara. and if you're wondering, it's s-a-r-a with no h. 'cause h's are ew! [ light laughter ] joining me today is one of my bffs. we met at sleepaway camp this summer and now we're reuniting erfor our first ever sleept home. please welcome, abigail. [ cheers and applause ] oh my! welcome. >> oh, meegod. [ and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my! it is so good to see you >> it is so good to see you. hey, you look great in all your
11:44 pm
poison ivy rashes from camp. they're all gone. >> jimmy: thank you. >> so cool. >> jimmy: the camp nurse went through two crates of calamine lotion. it was nasty. [ laughter ] >> oh, and by the way, you forgot your mermaid pillow in your bunk. here, i brought it wit >> jimmy: o.m.g! i thought i'd never see this again. i got a mad costume. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thanks. so what have you been up to since camp? >> well, i'm still sup obsessed with horses. i love horses. and when i grow up, i want to have like 40 horses. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: would you rather fight 40 duck sized horses or one horse sized duck? [ laughter ] >> you ask me that every time i see you. >> i'm sorry, i read somewhere online it's a good ice breaker. [ laughter ] pyway, have you posted a a throwback thursdto to insta yet? >> i was totally just about to ow you mine, okay? >> jimmy: let me see. >> here's mine.
11:45 pm
[ audience aws ] >> jimmy: it's so cute. here's mine. [ laughter ] we're practically twins.ht [ light la ] it's you're like my twin sister. >> yeah. 'l>> jimmy: do you think y go back to camp next summer? >> i not sure. i mean, we'd be the oldest campers there. you know? >> jimmy: but we're still too young to be counselors. we're stuck between two worlds. it's like i'm not a girl. ♪ not yet a woman >> jimmy: i was just thinking that. >> hey, do you remember at camp when we would play fashion freeze? >> jimmy: you mean, when you count to three and freeze in your best del pose? uh, yeah. i love fashion freeze! >> like, do you want to do it right now? : for sure. >> okay. >> jimmy: you go first. you ready? >> yes. >> jimmy: fashion, fashion, fashion, freeze. [ cheers and applause ]
11:46 pm
that looks flawless, abi. >> okay. thanks. okay, now your turn. ready? >> jimmy: yeo.. >> here we here we go. fashion, fashion, fashion, freeze! [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: i told you. we rlly are twins. [ phone ringing ] ew, it's my stepdad, gary. ♪ hello from the produce aisle ♪ [ light laughter ]pu >> i'm jusing your leg. it's me, your number one step d-a-d. >> jimmy: ew, gary! why are you calling me? [ light laughter ] >> well, i'm at the shop and go, and i thought i'd give a little ring-a-ling and see if i can bring-a-ling anything to you two ding-a-lings. [ light laughter ] they got cottage cheese on sale, two for one. [ light laughter ]>> kay, gary, we don't need any snacks. >> what? you know what they say. a cup of cheese a day away keeps the door from calling and letting you know that you .ave osteoporosis due to a a calcium deficien [ light laughter ] ♪ it's a crazy curd w
11:47 pm
thl make you strong munch this curd and you'll live super long ♪th curd is the word. you heard? [ lighimlaughter ] >>: ew! stop saying curd! [ light laughter ] >> all right, all right. i'llatch you two gals on the flippitty flop. now how do i -- oh, god. [ light laughter ] oh, i think i just took a self meme.et i got to dthat. >> jimmy: gary, i'm hanging up on you. >> now -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: now it's time for the ew speed round. you ready? >> yes. >> jimmy: here we go. >> okay. >> jimmy: nacho flavored ice cream. >> ew. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: those weird pop up phone holder things.w. >> e >> jimmy: squishes. e >> [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: sun dried tomatoes. >> ew, ew. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, regular tomatoes are gross. sun drd, are you kidding me? [ light laughter ] steve carell. >> so cute. [ light laughter ]im >>: really? >> yeah, he's like a really talented actor.
11:48 pm
have you ever seen "despicable me 3"? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: "despicable me 3"? [ light laughter ] never heard of her. finally, las vegas. >> cute. i would like, totally live there. >> jimmy: me too. it's so shiny. [ cheers and applause ] that's all the time we have for "ew!." i want to thank abi for joining us today. [ cheers and app] tune in next week. ew! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i guess i can kind of see the resemblance there. my thanks to britney spears. [ cheers aic applause ] around, everybody. we'll be right back with tonight show hashtags. come on back! [ cheers and appuse ] ♪
11:49 pm
the kangaroo's pouch provides comfort and security for the little ones inside. possibly the inspiration behind hanes comfort flex fit with a breathable pouch. that, and probably this. ow! (mixed shouts) hanes comfort flex fit. ow! (mixed shouts) main menu. oh! ok, robot. press one. i'm sorry, zero is not an option. rep-re-sen-ta-tive! please say the name of your second pet. rok-narr... incorrect. your call is important to us. we'll be with you shortly. oh! ok! good! yes! hello, daniel. can you hold, please? no! please! main menu. calling customer service is the worst. so t-mobile just made it better no bots. no bouncing,
11:50 pm
real customer service takes real people. i love you guys. we get that a lot. ♪ your kid made their bed: ♪ picked up your dry cleaning: chili's 3 for $10 ♪ ♪ your in-laws just left: chili's 3 for $10 ♪ ♪ a starter, an entree and coke for just $10 ♪ ♪ 3 for 10 bucks, baby, bucks, baby, bucks ♪ mmm-hmm! ♪ oh, baby, 3 for $10's back ♪ ♪ baby, back, baby, back ♪ i'm hopise nature soundso will help me relax a bit.. at least we don't have to worry about homeowners insurance. just call geico. geico helps with homeowners insurance? good to know. feeling better? i love you, pookie bear. [parrot 1] i love you, pookie bear. [parrot 2] i love you, pookie bear! [parrots] i love you, pookie bear!!! get to know geico and see how easy homeowners and renters insurance can be.
11:51 pm
11:52 pm
(birds chirping, a running ahh.k,) the new deer park sparkling is made with real spring water. ♪ it's so refreshing and delicious, you don't need slo-mo models to sell it. real spring water, real fruit flavors and refreshing bubbles. just what's refreshingly real. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. it is time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. [ cheers and appasuse ] ♪ hg hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: hey,uys.
11:53 pm
we do this thing every week where i send out a hashtag and we ask you to respond to that topic. so, since it's "shark week", i sent out a hashtag called #meirdfear. and i asked you guys to share your funny, weird or embarrassing fears. within 20 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s. so, thank you for playing along. [ cheers and applaus now i thought i'd share some of my favorite #myweirdfears from you ys. here we go. this first one's from @mr.kdub. he say "i've always been afraid of birds flying indoors. outside is fine.de inthey only have one place to go -- beak first into my eyes."pp [ laughter anduse ] veis one's from @sjrmdr. she says, "when i alone and would come home at night, i would throw the door open and yell, 'nypd'efore i walked in. i lived in dallas." [ laughter and applause ] this one's from @casmiller. she says, "when i have to pop
11:54 pm
open one of those pillury biscuit tubes, i'm so afraid they'll explode that i find the longest spoon i can and really far away and whack at it."nd [ laughter applause ] yeah, it was like -- i do the same thing. doonk. o th's from @armyofangels. she says, "i'm so afraid of accidentally liking someone's post from 18 months ago, that i have a secret account just for instagram stalking." [ laughter and applaus] this one's from @tashwoah. she says, "i won't brush my hair outside, because i'm scared the hairs will somehow end up at the scene of a c and i'll be blamed for it." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: it was tash. >> jimmy: didn't think about that. this one's from @padfoot93. she says, "whenever i go to a a restaurant, i always wait for my friends to start eating before i do just in case the food is poisoned." [ laughter and applause ] that's nice. >> steve: go ahead. no, ahead.
11:55 pm
>> jimmy: this one is from @usertalia. she says, "i never shower while it's storming, because i'm afraid i'll get zapped by lightning coming through the shower head. i just don't want to die naked."ht [ la and applause ] and this last one here is from @melondez. hed ays, "whenever i get pul over, i start panicking that there might be drugs in the car. i've never even used drugs." [ laughter and applause ] there you have it. those are our "tonight show" hashtags. to checkut more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. stick arou. we'll be right back with leslie jones, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i forgot all about dinner.
11:56 pm
did someone say kfc has four ways to feed a family for only 20 bucks? original recipe, extra crispy, boneless, and tenders. silence chicken lovers! it's finger lickin' good! hurry in to old navy for the kids and baby sale with up to sixty percent off. with styles from four, six, and eight dollars. ♪ make back to school shopping easy with buy online, pick up in store. with styles from four, six, and eight dollars, only at old navy. 60% of women wear the wrong size pad
11:57 pm
and can experience leaks. you don't have to. with always my fit, try the ne size up and get up to 20% better coverage day or night. because better coverage means better protection. always broke my personal record. aflac!? no-good break. gooood break. i'm so sorry we can't make your barbecue. i'm just sick about it. aflac!? different kind of sick. if i can't work after surgery, how am i gonna pay my rent? all these bills? aflac! oh, aflac! and they pay you cash in just one day. see how aflac helps cover everyday expenses at aflac.com.
11:58 pm
hey, what do you guys wanna listen to? ooh, hip-hop! reggaeton. edm. what about bubble trance? bubble what? bubble trance. it's a thing. (man) oh. my point is, everyone's got different taste. that's why verizon lets you mix and matcn so everyone gets the plan they want, without paying for things they don't and riw, the whole family can get six months of free apple music on verizon. oh. so let's play that reggaeton. old school reggaeton, not the new stuff. (vo) get 45 million songs with six months free apple music on us. only on verizon. switch now and get $300 off our latest phones.
11:59 pm
♪ [ chee and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest recently received her second emmy nomination for he on "saturday night live." she'll be performing standup at
12:00 am
the stress factory in br neswick, new jersey, august 2nd through the 4th. please welcome leslie jones! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> hey! >> jimmy: how fun. >> hi, jim! what's up, quest? >> jimmy: how are you doing? you're sfun. thank you for coming back to the show. >> yes, thank you for having me. s. jimmy: you look gorge oh, please >> i try to look gorgeous, boo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you don't have to try. you are -- >> io have to try, boo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i had -- [ laughter ] we had one of our mutual favorite people on the show, jennifer lopez. >> ahh! i love j-lo.
12:01 am
jenny from the block, baby. >> jimmy: i know, yeah. [ cheers ] i love jennifer lopez. l >>e her. >> jimmy: i know. me too. but you -- >> i love her. [ light laughter jimmy: you went to see her show? i know, talk me through it.h walk me thro. >> well, okay, there's a lot of people that i want to see in concert. but gil scott-heron, he's dead though. so -- but that's sad. [ laughter ]l so ie him in heaven. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know what i mean? >> jimmy: sure. >> and, you know, janet jackson, i want to see her in concert. but j-lo, seriously, is like on the top of the list. because she can dance so good. >> jimmy: yes. >> i love to just watch her dance. and just so pretty. and then, she does this shake thing with herutt. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she is the most talent -- she really is. so awesome. jimmy: we have a video of you -- one of your dreams come true. you got to be a backup dancer. >> yes! >> jimmy: for j-lo. and, here, you got to see this. check it out. leslie as j-lo's backup dancer. check this out. ♪ [ laughter ]
12:02 am
♪ >> jimmy: come on, dude. how fun is tha- oh, actually [ cheers and applause ] you gave it extra. you gave an extra little -- ou got to do that. >> jimmy: you got an extra little. >> that's a video move. when they would do that little slow thing and it's at slow motion. >> jimmy: that's your move. [ cheers ] come on, you look great. t then you got to see -- >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: then you got to see her again at this yankees charity. >> yes. jimmy: charity with the -- >> it was for cc sabata. ng jimmy: yeah. >> i'm know i'm sahat wrong, sorry cc. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> he does a charity. it'salled "pitcch in." i remembered. >> jimmy: all right, yeah. that's good, yeah. >>t's called "pitcch in." and it was so awesome. it was -- everybody was out there. and we did like a lllebrity softame. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> they didn't give us baseballs. they gave us softballs. >> jimmy: softball game, yeah. now, were you there to play? or we're you there -- >> i was there to do it all, boo. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] you got asked to coawell, right? >> i was the coach. i don't know if i was a good coach. but i was effective. [ laughter ]
12:03 am
>> jimmy: what does that mean? [ laughter ] what does that mean, you were effective? >> that means i got it done. t, all y: okay, all ri righ [ laughter ] okay, all right. [ cheers and applause ] don't have to question what that means. but you did win. you and steve -- >> yes. >> j >> i was not going to be on a a team that wasn't going to win. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, but still. >> yes, we won. >> jimmy: really? >> we won. i think it was like 4-0. but i'm sure they'll come with some other score. >> jimmy: yeah, no. please. but then you actually got to get up to bat. >> yes! >> jimmy: they asked you to play. >> well, i wasn't going to play. because i have bad knees. you know? yeah, man. i'm 50. shh. >> jimmy: you stilthgot the movegh. i saw you dance. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: i saw you dance. >> so they was like, you know, everybody bats. everybody had -- went up to bat. so they got towards the end of dothe game, they was like, you want to bat?" and i was like, "yes!" >> jimmy: at yankee stadium, yeah. >> at yankee stadium. i did the whole thin i put the dirt and stuff on my gloves. i pointed to where i was gng to go. >> jimmy: i want to show --
12:04 am
we have a video of you at your first and legendary -- >> oh, you're -- you have that vio? >> jimmy: it's my favorite thing. get ready for the best thing ever. leslie's at-bat at yankee stadium. walk me through this. take a look at this. here you go. d. >> oh, my go oh, yes. jimmy: look at this. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you got a hit! >> yes, baby! the first swing, baby. >> jimmythat's it. and then -- >> my first hit! >> jimmy: and then -- >> they got mebuut. >> jimmythen -- >> they got me out. >> jimmy: you're out. >> they got me out. >> jimmy: but then you just kept running. uslaughter ] [ cheers and app] then you just kept running. [ cheers and applause ] dude, that is the best thing [ cheers and applause ] n i'er seen that done before. when did you think -- when did you decide that -- y first -- >> jimmy: your comnd that you were going just run around the whole bases. >> first of all -- [ laughter ] that's what weopo, as black -- run. okay? [ laughter ]
12:05 am
so i was not goie to stop at rst base. >> jimmy: no. >> and i don't care if you got me out. m going to keep running. but when i got to the second base, i was like, "this was a a mistake. [ laughter ] i am tired. i will never yell at stanton again!" [ laughter ]im >>: right. >> i was -- i ran into home. and they're like, "slide, slide!" my knees was like, "bitch, if you slide -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] i will quit you right now. i will quit you."oh >> jimmymy. your knees were talking to you. oh, my. the knees was like, "we ain't havin' it. you are done." [ light laught ] >> jimmy: dude, i've got to say congratulations on your second emmy nomination. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ]: >> jimu got nominated. ♪ well-deserved, well-deserved. >> yes, but i want to win. >> jimmy: yeah, i -- >> i love kate. but bitch, i want this one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. so you're up. it's you 'cause you --
12:06 am
it a great category. >> yes. >> jimmy: for "saturday night live it's you and kate mckinnon. >> and aidy. >> jimmy: and aidy bryant. >> yes. >> jimmy: i'm so psychedguhat yo all got -- >> it's insane. >> jimmy: how fun is that? >> it's going to be so fun. >> jimmy: dude, you crushed it this season. you were so funny. >> man, i had too much fun. >> jimmy: you crushed it this tason. >> yeay let me have a a little bit more fun this season. i'm might have a little bit more fun next season. e jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and appla you really are. and you're also doing standup. i do want to say -- >> yes. >> jimmy: because -- >> lots of standup.im >>: i love that you're doing lots of standup. 'cause you're -- >> i love -- 'cause that's what i started. you know, that's my core is stand-up. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. stress factory, new brunswick, new jersey. >> yes. >> jimmy: au4tst 2nd to th funny bone in hartford, connecticut, august 10th through the 12th. tampa improv in tampa, florida -- i used to play there. >> yes! and kenan lives in tampa. so he's going to come and e me. >> jimmy: is he really? >> oh, my god. i can't wait. >> jimmy: how great is that? >> that's going to be so fun. >> jimmy: kenan, he got minated. >> yes, for two! >> jimmy: that's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> for two! yes! ♪ i think i cried more harder when they told me kenan got nominated than me. i was like, "oh" -- >> jimmy: isn't it great?
12:07 am
i love that guy so much. >> yes. - jimmy: but i will say t >> and carolines. >> jimmy: september 5th through the 8th, carolines -- >> that's my birthday! >> jimmy: carolines -- oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's my birthday weekend. >> jimmy: so it's -- >> so that show is going to be crazy. ] [ laught >> jimmy: all right, good. that's september 5th through the 8th at carolines theater -- >> >> jimmy: in new york city. when you -- it's a great club, by the way. i know everyone over there, too. when you do these, when you do standup, you have to start out, you get a head shot just so you can send it out to people. and hope -- i'm sorry, leslie.bu we got a couple of your head shots from when you first started. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those are -- but they're great. >> they're so hilarious. >> jimmy: i just want to show a a couple of your head shots here. >> oh, that's -- i going to want that after you finish, that's pretty. [ cheers and applause ] okay. so first of all, i look older than i do no [ light laughter ]co , i literally was like -- i think i was, i want to say,
12:08 am
32, something like that. i'm not sure. but i had just got my hair braided by this girl that lived in my building. and when i went to go take the head shot, because it was like a special, it was at thiphoto place. and i think he's charging me $90 for like a hundred shots, i was like, "yes." [ laughter ] so when i was choosing my outf i was like, "what would whoopi wear?" [ laughter ] because i want to be what whoopi is. >> jimmy: yeah, whoopi goldberg is unbelievable. >> and so i chose the schoolteacher jacket. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the blazer. that's -- yeah. >> i look like i sell insurance and cosmetics. [ laughter ] like i got a mary kaline. you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then -- >> okay. >> jimmy: oh, this one's good. let me tell you this on this one, my hair -- [ laughter and applause ] yo, yoi look so damn corny. first of all, my thumb is about five inches long. [ laughter ]
12:09 am
so many gay men approach me about my thumb. [ laughter ] i have lived, baby. i have lived. [ light laughter ] listen. and look, this one's taken by my hairdresser at the time, donna dyson in the middle of wi hire boulevard. if you look -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> you will see that's wilshe boulevard. i took it right out in front of her shop. >> jimmy: and that was a a professional head shot. >> and that was my head shot for years at least. light laughter ] >> jimmy: then this head shot -- >> okay, so let me explain. [ light laughter ] okay. i was doing a new headshots. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> i was doing some new headshots. and i ain't know the dude -- and i ain'know the dude who was taking the shot. he was testing the camera. i was like, "eh." and he was taking all those shots. d when i saw this, i was like, "this bitch is crazy." [ laughter ] it's my favorite head shot of all time. >> jimmy: it's a good commercial for you.
12:10 am
'cause -- yeah. everyone a little bit crazy. >> oh, my gosh. please, please show them. >> jimmy: this is the last one. >> this my -- i think it's the one that you -- oh, yes. >> jimmy: i mean, how -- e let me explain to you. >> jimmy: what wu even thinking? >> let me explain something to you. when i took this picture, i swear to god -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't even know what -- >> when i took this picture, i ear to god, you would -- i would have put money on it that i was about to blow up. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] i was like -- i was like, "how do you not look at this head shot and tell that this girl is creative?" [ laughter ] i had just came back from tokyo and had bought one of them me little swa -- >> jimmy: kimonos? >> kimonos and in my hair, i got chopsticks in my hair. because i was like -- [ laughter ] and then i was like, "oh, my god. if i do my hair, they're going to be like, 'she's an action star!'" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you were going to be in movies and everything. >> look at this.no why would you put this in a a movie? >> jimmy: this is -- you thought, i'm going to blow
12:11 am
up from this. >> yo, i sent this to lorne michaels. and i was like, "i had some good head shots." he was like, "this one not so much." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, pal, look at where you ended up, man. >> man, crazy, right? >> jimmy: congratutions. second emmy nomination. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes! i love you, baby. j my: you're the best. leslie jones, everybody! s cheers and applause ] see her at the strctory in new brunswick, new jersey, august 2nd to the 4th. we'll be right back with emily ratajkowski. stick around, everybody. [ ♪ers and applause ] ♪ music playing ♪ ♪ ♪
12:12 am
[ coughs ] ♪ ♪ [ screams ] ♪ ♪ whoa, whoa, whoa. be your one item woul the name your price tool? it helps people save on car insurance. wouldn't it save me?
12:13 am
why? what would you bring? a boat. huh. lemonade! i'll take a cup! i got this kids. one cup of lemonade. thanks? time to pack up. let's go kids. thank you! nfl sunday ticket. get every live game, every sunday at no extra charge when you switch to directv. more for your thing. that's our thing. call 1.800.directv. the kangaroo's pouch provides comfort and security for the little ones inside. possibly the inspiration behind hanes comfort flex fit with a breathable pouch.
12:14 am
that, and probably this. ow! (mixed shouts) hanes comfort flex fit. ow! i got it. i gotcha baby. (vo) it's being there when you're needed most. he's the one. (vo love is knowing... it was meant to be. and love always keeps you safe. (vo) love is why we built a car you can trust for a long time. the all-new subaru iooreza sedan and five a car you can love no matter what road you're on. the subaru impreza. more than a car, it's a subaru. right now, get 0% apr financing on the 2018 suba impreza.
12:15 am
you agreed to never give up. to ask, what else can i do? you agreed to remember the good people who rise with every challenge, to remember their strength. to serve, with grit and grace. you made a promise. we did too. the all-new ram 1500. as your home becomes more connected, you need fios to keep up. and fios is the 100% fiber-optic network which means you get phenomenal capacity for your tech.
12:16 am
now, get $200 toward a range of google and nest smart home devices plus the fastest internet available, up to 200 tv channels, phone, and a 2-year price guarantee, all for $79.99 per month with a 2-year agreement. and if you order online by august 31st, you'll get a $150 visa prepaid card. go to getfios.com. 100% fiber-optic network. 100% phenomenal. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a supeodel, entrepreneur and actress who stars opposite aaron paul in a new thriller called, "welcome home", which mbll be on directv october 18th
12:17 am
and in theaters no 16th. please welcome back to our show, our pal emily ratajkowski, everybody. [ cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. >> thank youmy >> jwelcome back to the show. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you for coming to see us.o i wantlk about -- we have to talk about the movie. i want to talk about your swimwear line. s >> yea my swimwear line, people always think that it's something i did because, like, b i modellhing suits. i did "sports illustrated." but i'm actually just a -- tr y a cali girl. like, i grew in encinitas, california, which is a tiny town in san diego.>> immy: yeah. >> um, public high school. we didn't have a football team. we had a surf team and skate p.e. >> jimmy: yeah! [ laughter ] that is so california, man. come on. >> lik it's cali. >> jimmy: that is cali, all the way. >> so, my best friend went to the same high school and, talk about a 13-yeaold's dream, we
12:18 am
started this swimwear line together. so -- >> jimmy: uh, inamorata. es. ooh, look at you. >> jimmy: now, what -- now, what does this -- how do you -- what does it mean? what's it mean by "inamorata"? >> it means siren -- >> jimmy: in amore? >> yeah, in amore. >> jimmy: inamorata? >> say italy, inamor >> jimmy: no, but -- so, it's i-n-a-m-o-r-a-t-a? >> yeah. >> jimmy: inamorata? >> swim em rat -- i'm like, "thanks, jimmy." >> jimmy: no, i'm sorry. just, like, to clear it up. >> no, no, no. yeah, it's -- >> jimmy: because people call em -- emrata? >> yeah. people call lme emrata, which o a nickname from my hig school. >> jimmy: oh, that's where it's from. >> that's how i got that. yes. so -- >> jimmy: but you're running your own instagram. you're running the business's instagram. you're actually head of -- you're in charge of it >> yes. >> jimmy: and running it. >> inamorata swim. people think i have, like, you know, some -- intern, like, al uploadinthese pictures. it's actually me. >> jimmy: right. >> my 13-year-old self, like, uploadg my inspo. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. so -- >> it's, like, basically a a blog. >> jimmy: 'cerse i was wog -- i was looking through the instagram. i go, okay.t it jys "moonstruck." [ laughter ] and i go, i don't quite understand why, what's going on. like why -- >> i love that movie. >> jimmy: oh, me too. mean i -- it's inamorata swimwear, so i
12:19 am
just go, i don't -- [ laughter ] >> but she's -- look at her. you know?morata. >> jimmy: i know, it's in -- >> she's inamorata. >> jimmy: inamora -- >> i think cher is, like, always goals.at so, it doesn'tr what kind of, like, business you're running, whatever. and especially in this movie. >> jimmy: she's just always goals? always. #alwaysgoals. >> jimmy: always goa. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so, if you have any question in life, you go -- what would -- >> be cher.e >> jimmy: juster. [ light laughter ] what would cher do? just be cher. >> yeah. i mean, the woman wojud wake up an be like, "i'm putting on a sequined bathing suit top today and i'm gonna feel good about it." ntand, like, that's who i o be. >> jimmy: and she would crush it. all right, good. >> yeah, i'm here to emulate her. >> jimmy: but that was i -- kind of like -- good. 'cause i want to actually talk about your actual film, e cause last t >> yes. >> jimmy: i don't know if you saw, pete davidson was on our dshow. >> oh,. i did. he gave my husband a n'shout-out -- >> jimmy: we didt -- >> 'cause my husband produced "good time." ta jimmy: "good times." >> the movie he waing about. >> jimmy: pete davidson came on the show and didn't talk about this movie at all. uh -- [ light laughter ] >> yeah, no. i was watching it like this. and then he said sebo, and i was like, "oh! ohththat's my -- 's my husband." >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then he just talked about your husband's
12:20 am
movie the whole time. >> yeah. it was great. >> jimmy: then we sh yed a clip frr husband's movie. >> we're actually -- pete and i are on a press tour for my husband. [ laughter ] that's why i'm here, is just to -- >> jimmy: that's why y here. >> tell everyone on how great he is, so. >> jimmy: tell me about your movie, though. >> yeah. >> jimmy: "welcome home." >> so, it's a movie with aaron paul, who i think we all love. >> jimmy: "breloing bad", we . >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] i'm a huge fan. my: we love aaron paul. >> i do, too. and we shot this movie in italy last summer. so, i'm spoiled for life like, between aaron paul being the nicest person ever and then italy being the most beautiful r place like -- every movie i've done since, i'm like, "wait. we're in -- where are ? [ light laughter ] where's the gnocchi? where's the red wine?" >> jimmy: oh, my god. spoiled. >> but it's it's a thriller. it's about a couple who goes on vacation. goes to, kind of, like an airbnb, bo situation. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and slowly we, sort of, iz rethat things aren't as perfect as they seem. >> jimmy: and who's the guy -- the guy that's so -- >> oh, there's -- there's a scary, but sort of sexy italian man. you know the type. you know. [ laughter ] so, he's -- he's there. he's there, nd of, confusing everyone. and yeah. what's really cool is, my character, sort of matters into her own hands, so.
12:21 am
>> jimmy: here we go. you guys, we hav'sa clip here. mily ratajkowski and aaron paul in the new thriller "welcome home." chk this out. >> yeah. >> hey. talk to me. >> i know it's my fault, okay? i know. i know what i did to you. i know how i hurt you. >> jessie -- >> i know you don't look at me the same way anymore. >> i can't stop seeing it. >> seeing what? >> you -- and him. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how beautifully shot, by the way. >> i mean -- >> jimmy: i uldn't want to ave that set at all. >> that's -- that's what's crazy, is it looks like -- it looked like a set that on sowould make in an old movie, or something. and that was just where we were staying. >> jimmy: i mean, how fun is that? >> yeah, i'm spoiled. >> jimmy: well, i know that you're -- you're a socal, so i figured -- >> yeah.
12:22 am
>> jimmy: i want to get you ri-- maybe, like, a b or a a fish taco, so -- >> oh, my god. thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: we got the number one fish taco in new york city from eater.com. >> oy. >> jimmy: from tacombi. when in new york, having -- have the best taco. >> i'll do it >> jimmy: do you want lime on it? >> yeah, actually, i would. >> jimmy: good. >> so, he's the thing is, i grew up with 99 cent tacos. i feel like these ones might be a little more fancy. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, trust me. >> really? >> jimmy: they're less than 99 cents. >> all right, i'm gonna try and make this look cute. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 50 cents. >> mmm. [ cheers and applause ] not bad. honestly. >> jimmy: not bad? >> not bad. i'm impressed. >> jimmy: fantastic. ki thanks to emily ratajko [ cheers and applause ] "welcome home" is out this fall.'l have music from greta van fleet after the break. stick around, everybody. come back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ main menu. oh! ok, robot. press one. i'm sorry, zero is not an option. rep-re-sen-ta-tive! please say the name of your second pet. rok-narr... incorrect. your call is important to us. we'll be with you shortly.
12:23 am
oh! ok! good! yes! hello, daniel. can you hold, please? no! please! main menu. calling customer service is the worst. so t-mobile just made it better no bots. no bouncing, real customer service takes real people. i love you guys. we get that a lot. rewards me basically aeverywhere.om so why am i hosting a dental convention after party in my vegas suite? or wearing a full-body wetsuit at this spa retreat? or sliding into this ski lodge with my mini horse kevin? because hotels.com lets me do me, right? sorry, the cold makes him a little horse. hotels.com. you do you and get rewarded. you're wearing a hat. that's funny. ♪ i don't care where we go ♪ ♪ and i don't care what we do
12:24 am
♪ just take me with you there are roadside attractions. and then there's our world-famous on-road attraction. the 2018 glc. lease the glc300 for just $459 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. ♪ your kid made their bed: ♪ picked up your dry cleaning: chili's 3 for $10 ♪ ♪ your in-laws just left: chili's 3 for $10 ♪ ♪ a starter, an entree and coke for just $10 ♪ ♪ 3 for 10 bucks, baby, bucks, baby, bucks ♪ mmm-hmm! ♪ oh, baby, 3 for $10's back ♪ ♪ baby, back, baby, back ♪
12:25 am
why did i want a crest 3d white smile? dinner date. meeting his parents, dinner date. so i used crest. crest 3d white removes 95% of surface stains in just 3 days, for a whiter smile that will win them over. look for a one dollar coupon in this sunday's paper. i'm emma. and i'm claire. and we're the salmon sisters. we run our business from the boat. it's a really small space.ew this n surface go is the perfect size. ♪ i love having something that i can hold in my hand. we're proud of this way of life. we're proud of the work we're doing.
12:26 am
introducing 24/7 denim for the family. your favorite jeans with round the clock comfort. get all jeans on sale for thirty percent off. ♪ hurry in to old navy for thirty percent off all jeans, forty percent off all dresses, and fifty percent off all tees, only at old navy. ♪ ♪ you have a side that saved for her to go out of state. ♪ ♪ a side that's getting your life in sync, ♪ ♪ now she's in and you can celebrate. ♪
12:27 am
♪ to someday retire and hit the links. ♪ ♪ got a plan today, yeah, and that's the key, ♪ ♪ so tomorrow you can get where you want to be. ♪ ♪ that's why nationwide is on your side. ♪
12:28 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: here with the tv debut of their new single "when the curtain falls." give it up for greta van fleet! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ well you're so great and i love you so you know i'm your biggest fan ♪ ♪ saw your picture and it's the best
12:29 am
the finest in the landig cameras and action ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah and words you know so well you're in and out of fashion ♪ ♪ in a hollywood of hell when the curtain falls walk the hollow halls babe once a valley doll ♪ ♪ now you'rnot at all no ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ well i love you in that movie show ♪ ♪ can i have your autograph
12:30 am
it's so funny you have such charm and the whole thing ♪ ♪ made me laughco obetral antails yeah you're counting all your rings ♪ ♪ they all said they loved you didn't they darlin well they've taken ♪ ♪ all your things when the curtain falls walk the hollow halls ba once a valley doll ♪ ♪ now you're not at all no ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ well listen darlin's
12:31 am
een real swell llat can i say ♪ ♪ you've got it yeahou're a one woman show but i'm not gonna lie you could use ♪ ♪ a little work well at your age well ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ when the curtain falls walk the hollow halls babeal once ay doll
12:32 am
now you're not at all ♪ ♪ ♪ goodbye baby goodbye ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. oh, my goodness! oh! thank you so much. greta van fleet. yo, awesome. greta van fleet, standing "o," not bad. a [ chee applause ] catch them on tour right now. we'll be right back. , my goodness, yes. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ u
12:33 am
yoow when you're at ross and you're like... u hello. ...and then the price is like, helllooo! that's yes for less. find the latest trends and styles at prices that are a perfect fit. it feels even better when you find it for less. at ross. yes for less. so you went online... prescriptions... and got so lost in a mumbo-jumbo of co-pays, coupons and codes
12:34 am
that your brain went offline. next time ask your cvs pharmacist. our proprietary search tool analyzes ways to help lower your prescription costs. just drop in.... before you conk out... see what you might save at cvs pharmacy.
12:35 am
...and you suddenly realizes you're really into art? that's yes for less. every trend. every room. on any budget. it feels even better when you find it for less. at ross. yes for less.
12:36 am
♪ [ cheers a applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to leslie jones, emily ratajkowski. [ cheers and applause ] britney spears! greta van fleet, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots righilthere from elphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye, bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ]♪ ♪ ♪
12:37 am
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- armie hammer, chat and music from brandon flowers, featuring the 8g band with taylor gordon.♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]di and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night."bo how is eve doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is great toear. in that case, let's get to the news. special counsel robert mueller and donald trump, jr. were spotted on friday at the same gate at an airport in washington, d.c. look at this photo. first off, well, like of course

150 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on