tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC March 14, 2019 12:37am-1:38am EDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- ricky gervais! star of "billions," actor, asia kate dillon! music from james bay! featuring the 8g band with allison miller! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers.e this is "lght." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear.t in tse, let's get to the news. after being sentenced to ar47 months in prison on se charges, former trump campaign chairman, paul manafort, w sentenced to an additional three-and-a-half years in prison. [ cheers ]
so, at least somebody -- at least somebody from the trump ai ca is getting a second term.er [ laug [ cheers and applause ] former trump campaign chairman, paul manafort, read a statementi during his h today asking the judge for leniency, so he can spend time with his wife. said trump, "see? does that sound like someone i'" be friends wit [ cheers and applause ] today was actor william h. macy's 69th birthday. and if you want to go to his party, i know someone who can help get you in. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause in preparation for it's eighth i anl season, hbo's "game of thrones" has released a new wine collection.st on't let your kids drink it. [ cheers and applause ] according to a new survey, morninpeople prefer using facebook while night owls prefer instagram while people who never
sleep use twitter. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] a virginia woman was arrested is eek after allegedly pretending she was pregnant in order to obtain gifts such as paid dinners and an expensive professional photo shoot from a couple trying to adopt. the couple first became suspicious somewhere around month 12. tlaughter ] he just doesn't wacome out. [ laughter ] a texas couple has started a cr company whictes and sells beer for dogs featuring names like "ipa a lot in the yard" and "crotch sniffing ale." plus the less popular, "this tastes like shih tzu." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's right. a texas couple has started a company that creates and sells beer forogs. said one dog, "hey, i don't remember your name, but -- you're gonna want to get tested
for heart worm. [ laughter ] [ applause ] also, you looked like a ten last night." what do you mean? i look juslike you. that's right. they're selling beer for dogs. they were also going to create marijuana for cats, but there s need. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]i' good. and finally, california health officials have warned that a travelers in leles international airport last month may have been exposed to the measles virus. while in new york, laguardia passengers have come down with something called rat leg [ laughter ] [ applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] ishis new show "after life streaming now on netflix.s ricky gerv back, everybody! how about that? [ cheers and applause ] wonderful to have him here. they are the star of "billions"
on shoime. asia kate dillon joins us tonight.ch rs and applause ] and we will have music from james bay! [ cheers and applause ] very happy to have him back, as well before we get to any of that, a massive college cheating scandal and the sentencing of the president's ex campaign chairman have exposed corruption at the highest levels of soety. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: the past 24 hours have really pulled back the curtain on how wealth and power operate in america. yesterday a $25 million college admissions cheating scandal ensnared hollywood actors and some of the wealthiest people ir the co and today, the president's campaign chairman was indicted in one case for fraud and sentenced in another case, after he was already sentencedast week in a third case in which he was accused of stealing money on and spending i jacket made from an ostrich. [ laughter ] in other words, rich people are insane. [ laughter ] once you have that much money,
it poisons your brain. you either end up bribing a soccer coach to get your kid into yale. or if that doesn't work, you e lel your money to your cat. [ laughter ] which is a ridiculous thing to do, since every cat already acts like they have [ bleep ] you money. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] good news! good news, cat! you're a millionaire! you an, i wasn't already? [ laughter ] i'm pretty sure i already was. but paul manafort really had the worst day, because right after he was sentenced in one case, h was indicted bfferent office in another case involving 16 counts tied to residential mortgage fraud. he was sentenced and indicted on the same day in a move that will one day be coined "the manafort." [ laughter ]bu the college admissions cheating scandal is one of the most fascinating glimpses of how the wealthy and the privileged rig the game. n re than 40 people have b arrested in the scheme including everyone from ceos to the headsj of international law firms to private equity titans, to hollywood actors. >> federal prosecutors today revealed what they say is the largest case of colleg
admissions fraud in u.s. history. charging coaches and affluent parents, including hollywood elite in a massive bribery scheme to fast track kids into some of the country's universities including yale and stanford. >> the fraud, allegedly two-fold. parents paying to inflate their children's standardized scst es or faking athletic records to get students recruid for sports they did not even play. resses are ywood a among the dozens of people charged. the tv stars felicity huffman from "desperate housewives" and lori loughlin from "full house." >> seth: lori loughlin? why didn't you just bribe a college e normal way by donating money for a new building? you already had a name!ug [ er ] [ applause ] the details of this scandal are truly mind blowing. for example, parents bribed coaches at prestigious schools to get their kids admitted as athles in sports they didn't play. in one case, a teenage girl who did not play soccer magicall became a star soccer recruit at yale in exchange for $400,000.
w, that $400,000 went to the yale coach who was in on the scam and then i had to, i guess, explain what they saw in the new recruit. [ laughter ] all right, everybody, gather around. this is our new star player. you're not going to see much of r out on the field thoug wait until you try her orange slices. [ laughter ] [ applause ] some parents, including loughlin, even went to the taextraordinary lengths ofng or doctoring photos to make it look like their kids were playing sports they d not play. >> investigators say lori loughlin and her husband agreed to pay bribes totaling half a million dollars in exchange for having their two daugers designated as recrui to the usc crew team despite the fact they did not participate in crew. court documents say they even had their girls stage photos as athletes. >> in one instance, a parent sending this photo showing their daughter playing water polo in h chool, but, in fact, the photo was another student. >> seth: i mean, of all the sp ts to lie about, i have to
say, water polo is the smartest one because nobody knows how it works. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i don't even know what a water lo body would look like. i mean is it long arms and a tail?ug [ er ] [ applause ] of course, the plan would have d wontil the kid showed up to the pool in riding gear and an actual horse. [ laughter ] [ applause ] now, there's already all kinds of normalized accepted pay to ay in the college entry process from expensive test prep classes, to legacy admissions, to just writg a massive check, which is also known as institutional advancement. but the guy who set up this scheme, a businessman named william singer, explained in court that he was giving weahy parents a way to get around all of that. in one phone call, authorities listened as singer told one parent how itll worked. saying, "there's a front door, e whics you get in on your own. the back door is through institutional advancement, whi is ten times as much money. and i've created this side door." >> seth: imagine having enough money to legally bribe your
llkids' way into an elite e and thinking "how about instead we photoshop his head on to michael phps' body." [ laughter ] n and mamistake, the parents in these cases were very aware of what they were doing. the fbi released one e-mail htitten by huffman when she found out her da's school would provide their own s.a.t. proctor, making it harder to cheat. she wrote, and this is a real e-mail, "ruh-roh, looks like my daughter's high school wants to provide own proctor." she literally sat down at a computer and typed the words "ruh-roh." [ laughter and applause ] making this the rare case where scooby doo was the criminal. [ cheers and applause ] this scandal -- it was you, scoob! [ laughter ] this scandal might be the most glaring example of pay to play in college admissions, but it's not the only one. there's already lots of pay to play in the college admissions world that's legal.
i mean, just look at the president of the united states. he went to wharton, one of the n most prestigious schools country and her doesn't even know how to spell the word country. [ laughter ] and if you asked him to spell the word prestigious, the red anuiggle would just give u crawl away. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]ns [ t ] and let's not forget this is a guy who famously waged a racist campaign to get president oba to release his college transcript, despite the fact that as we learned from michael cohen's testimony, trump threatened his own schools not to release his grades and test scores. bo >> i'm talking a man who declares himself brilliant but directed me to threaten his high school, his colleges and the college board to never release his grades or s.a.t. scores. >> seth: i shutter to imagine what trump's s.a.t. score was. it was probably the first time in history a college board wrott on someonet, "it's better if you don't know." [ laughter ]nd [ cheerspplause ] the culture -- [ cheers and applause ]
the culture of inequality and pay to play at the highest levels of american society has been on full display over the last 24 hours from serial fraud committed by wealthy parents to serial fraud committed by the president's campaign chairman. peop are finally getting a glimpse at how it works. and they're all saying, in the words of felicity huffman -- >> uh-oh. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with ricky gervais, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. to push the limits of our leakguard technology,
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back ody! give it up for the 8g band, right over t[ re. eers and applause ] back with us tonight on the drums, an incredible musician from right here in ne the latest album from her group allison miller's boom tic boom, "glitter wolf" is available now. allison miller is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, allison. our first guest tonight is an emmy-winning comed and actor you know from such shows as "the office" and "extras." his latest series "afte" is currently streaming on netflix. let's take a look. >> your dog should be on a lead. >> wt? >> doghould be on a lead.
can't you read? the park's for everyone. >> oh right, oh sorry, thank you. come here, girl. come here. what? he is not a fat, hairy nosy p [ blsucker. bad girl, brandy. sorry about that. >> disgusting. >> see you later. >> seth: please welcome back to the show, ricky gervais, everybody. [ cheers and appuse ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back. >> oh, thank you.>> eth: congratulations on your show. >> thank you. will you bleep the word le "[ ] sucker"? >> seth: what would you like us to do? you want us to leave it out there? >> well, just bleep the word [ bleep ] and leave sucker. 'cause sucker is not offensive, ist? so just go beep, sucker. >> seth: yeah. >> will you bleep me saying ep "[ b sucker" now? [ laughter ] >> seth: well, now you've really put us in a situation. t >> what if i wking about my old bird, though? that would be all right, wouldn't it? >> seth: like if you said --
>> i love [ bleep ] [ laughter ] but i kept chickens. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: i see. so you're saying you want to use and maybe we could stea that [ bleep ] and put it in the other one. [ laughter ] and then it's like, hey -- that wasn't from the show. that one was the wrong b [ bleep we stole it. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: the one you heard was about chickens. >> exactly. yeah, do it. >> sh: yeah. yeah, we'll check with our standards and practices people. >> yeah. >> seth: hey, this is a show -- i feel like as though it probably doesn't get established particularly well in the clip, but this is a show about grief. >> it is about grief. the reason i'm acting like that in the show, my wife is dying, and i'm very angry. she was the love of my life. i'm genuinely depressed, i'm suicidal. i nearly kill myself, but the dog is hungry. [ light laughter ] so i feed the dog. and thatives me enough to think, right, okay, i'm going to live for a while, but i'm going to punish the world for this.t and i'm ared of anything because i've got nothing to lose. and i treat it like a super r. po i have one last adventure and say what i want from now on and
then i can always killyself. so that's -- it asks the question, is life worth living after you've lost the love of your life. and that's the premise. so that's why he's acting like that. >> seth: you -- i feel as though you are always drawn to sort of bigger themes like that. >> yes. >> seth: was this an idea that had been kicking around in your head for a long time? o. it's one of the few things where you have an idea and that's the next thing that happens. you have a backlog and you try things out. but the seed of the idea was that. it was imagine if you had nothing to lose, you could do what you wanted.ha you woul no fear. and no spoilers, but the mugging scene -- in real life, we hand our money over. >> seth: yeah.>> cause we're scared of what happens. or we got a baby in a stroller. but he goes, bring it on. because he's got nothing to lose. >> seth: yh. you -- it's also a nice balancee tohow, which is obviously these grander themes such as our own mortality and the id of loss and then your character, of course, has minor annoyances. i'm going to guess they're the same minor annances you feel your everyday life. >> i'm annoyed by everything.
[ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. it comes across. i want you to know that, it comes across. >> does it really? but, socially i bite my tongue. i can't even, like, send my soup back if it's got a rat in it 'cause i think the waiter will put me on you tube.la hter ] right. okay. this is a true story. there was a -- we wea restaurant in san francisco. and the waiter, every time he o ca, we were eating, he kept going -- [ snorting ]d was going -- [ bleep ] like that. and jane was going -- [ grunting ] and then -- i just wan stab him. i mean, oh, my god. on the plane -- right.ve on the plane there was a guy -- we were about to take off and he kept doing this. [ yawning ] yeah, yeah. and i looked at him, right -- a bit like -- twice. d i checked n't have anything wrong with him. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> i was trying to figure that out. because that would be terrible. >> seth: that's incredibly poliht of you. [ la ] >> and i made the judgment call. and after the 15th time -- i was like, mate, can you do without the noises at the end?
and then i had to sit ne him for seven hours. [ laughter ] but honestly, yeah, i can't stand noise. >> seth: you mention your girlfriend jane, now she must -- when you -- en she hears someone making an annoying noise -- ve she doesn't. she says i haven'tnoticed it. >> seth: really? >> yeah. i go, we've got to move. yeah, yeah. >> seth: i guess in the end you would have to spend your time with someone who is more open to the worl because the two of you would be -- >> yes, she is very laid back. she goes, okay. do we move restaurants? right? but now i rry ear plugs with me. >> seth: really? >> just in case. in case there is someone is sniffing or istling. or just an annoying voice. just someone talking with an annoying voice. [ laughter ] or one person dominating the conversation. i want to go, let him speak! [ laughter ] >> seth: so in a publi restaurant -- how does jane feel -- >> she says, that's sociable. >> seth: yea >> she knows it's better than me going [ bleep ] right! yes. yes, i am that guy. >> seth: you are the role, i
should say, the profession you chose for this character is, heo is a reportea local newspaper. >> yes. >> seth: what made you think this was a perfect job for a guy going through what he's going through emotionally? >> everything is a juxtaposition to how he's feeling in his head it's sun's got a nice life. he's got a nice job. but it's banal. he has to do these silly stories, like a guy who gets five birthday cards the same and he has to deal with these people. or a potato that looks like lionel richie. god, it's like the worst. there's woman who makes ce pudding out of her breast milk. [ laughter ] and he has to go interview her.n and is mate eats it and he vomits. right? so it's just like the worst --e it's just rst time for him. >> seth: i liked that there was a stain that looks like kenneth branagh -- a water stain, and your character points out that -- >> no. >> seth: and he can't even draw. >> any stain looks like kenneth branagh. [ light laughter ] he has no discernible features at all. >> seth: it never occurred to me until that moment. you're going bacon tour for stand up, which is very exciting.
>> yeah. >> seth: super nature is the me of the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah.is >> seth: wha- where did that name come from? >> super nature, for two reasons. i sort of debunk the supernatural. i don't believe in anything supernatural. i think anything that exists is by definion, part of nature. r d also super nature, because i think nature is suough. i think it's amazing. >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> i think -- you know. and i talk about that. like, we don't need angels and unicorns, you know. we've got the duckbilled platypus. when that was discovered, scientists thought it was a hoax because it produces eggs and milk. it could make its own custard. oulaughter ] it doesn't, but it. it's amazing. they're amazing. [ apause ] it's amazing. >> seth: and you go out -- you obviously tour internationally. >> yeah. >> seth: obviously thas a grand idea that seems like it travels well. do you have to change your act much? >> i don't, as long as i don't do what was on british tv the night before.
but when you're dealing with like, you know, aids and hitler. it sort of travels. [ light laughter ] you know what i mean? >> seth: they say there is a lot of down sides to aids and hitler -- [ laughter ] the good side is that it really travels well. [ light laughter ] i want to ask you, this is a photo of you with some nieces and nephews.ou doave a funny family? >> that's just one -- that's one sibling's -- >> seth: that's -- really? >> yes. >> seth: that's quite brood. >> i know. and there's about 30. i don't know their names. laughter ] i see them at christmas. >> seth: are they excited to see yo >> they know i've got a bit of money now. [ laughter ] they just go through my pockets and run off. [ ughter ] >> seth: there must be tough with so many of them. how do you defend against them? one of you is getting your attention and then the wallet is gone. >> exactly. they're lovely. they're a lovely -- whoever they are. [ laughter ] >> seth: congratulations on the show. i'm really enjoying it. thanks so much for being back. it's always great to see you. [ cheers and applause ] ricky gervais, everybody. "after life" is currently streaming on netflix.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a talented actor you know from netflix's "orange isew black." they star as taylor mason in showtime's hit series "billions" whh returns for its fourth season premiere this sunday at 00 p.m. let's take a look. why is mick danzig the best candidate that we've see where are the applied math wizards? the financial engineers? do i have to go to an m.i.t. job fair? >> i'm trying. wall street's had some of the luster knocked off. >> so, buff it back up and close danzig, then find me people with no fear. >> seth: please welcome to the show, ia kate dillon, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome to the show. >> thank you so much for having
me. >> seth: i'm thrilled to have you. both you and your character, ylor, identify as gender-nonbinary, and i've hear that -- [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah.et >> there you go. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: before you even had this re when you read the character description, you -- like it helped you even undetand yourself better. is that a true story? >> that's right. so, prior to reading the character breakdown for taylor, i was familiar with the terms nonbinary, gender nonconforming, transgender. and i even intified as gender flui. but all of the transgender, nonconforming nonbinary people i knew had taken some medical step to transition to fully come into their identity. you know, from a young age, i knew i wasn't a boy or a girl but i certnly didn't have the language for it, nor did i have any representation either of a real person or fictional character who was nonbinary but hadn't changed theirody. so when i got the character breakdown for taylor and it saia female non, i thought, "well, if you're nonbinary, does
it mean you're not female?" i just didn't understand how those words could exis to each other. so as i do, i did a little research, and i discovered that, you know, female, assigned sex at birth. nonbinary gender identity. and for me, it just came together. we all have assigned sex. a gender identity is placed on top of that. boi don't need to change m in order to be valid as a nonbinary person or as a trans person, and i was finally able to fully feel freeo live in uso i am, in my identity. [ cheers and app] >> seth: that's great. obviously -- i mean, it must be so nice for you to not only ha the role but just have that representation on screen., it certainfeel, nice for everyone else, because, you know, in the same way that maybe rmu didn't understand the i feel like that's true of everyone else, as well. people who haven't experienced it as ven thought abo much. do you feel now that people ask you about it in a way that makes you feel they're interested and
wanna reach the same lev of understanding that you've come to have? >> yeah.i ally appreciate it when it's a conversation. when i'm given the opportunity to talk about my identity, it on begins arsation. and not only do i get to talk about how i identity and how i came to that understanding, but then i get to ask someone else n about their ty and then they get to tell me about their experience, whether their a cisn per a trans person. and, you know, conversation is the way in which any type of de tanding is going to come. so, i'm really grateful for e a y opportunity to h conversation about it, including this one. >> seth: i appreciate -- >> thank you. >> seth: no, i'm very happy to be having it, as well. and, you know, we were talking backstage. i know david and brian who created this show. , they u came on s actually had a meeting with everyone, just to sort of be o helpful,at you -- which is nice because it didn't seem like the burden of education was acal fully on you. >> yes, which is a great way to be an ally. you know, i waed to work with showtime long before i got the opportunity to. wey're so incredible. they had a meetih producers, cast, everyone,
saying, "we have this actor coming in. these are their pronouns. the character also uses these pronouns." and it just made me feel all the more safe, a the more welcome. and then we all got to focus on making this incredible art projeccalled "billions" that we all love so much. >> seth: and it's a great show. i want to ask. you're -- you play somho is a math genius. >> mm-hmm. enius.h: a poker is that true of you, as well? is that -- >> no, no, no. >> seth: no. ok. >> no. [ laughter ] i'm happy to admit that i'm terrible at math.ca although, count your money back to you from years of working in the service industry. [ laughter ] >> seth: yes, i'm happy to say -- >> yeah. >> seth: i'mo very good at making change based on those years as well. >> yeah, yeah. yes.[ plause ] >> yep. >> seth: and you -- on "orange is in the new black." and at a time when both were airing at the same time, people would approach you on the street. could you guess which one they were a fan of?lk >> so, you're g about when season two of "billions" and season five of "orange" were running concurrently. >> seth: yeah. >> and so, you know, very
nicely, people would come up to me on the street and they would say, you know, "i love you on the show," and i didn't wa to be like, "which one?" [ laughter ] you know? >> seth: "i'm in so many shows." [ laughter ] >> i mean, i'm just -- i can't possibly even discern what you could be talking about. but certainly i think because of the character that i play on "orange" whos a self-identify neo nazi white supremacist -- [ laughter ] i think people who -- people are wary of approaching someone like .hat on the stre >> seth: yeah. >> but those people then are not discerning that i'm an actor. thats a character. >> seth: right, right. [ laughter ] and certainly, you know, brandy and i haveothing in common. >> seth: right, there you go. [ laughter ] >> but then, y know, getting recognized for taylor is incredibly gratifying. you know, it goes from either sort of pele in business attire being like, "we love taylor at the office," which is awesome. or i have, you know, parents coming up to me telling me their kid is nonbinary and they were able to really, be there for their kid and have a greater understanding because of this show "billions" and this character that they love, and si that's incy gratifying.
>> seth: it's -- i mean it was -- [ cheers and applause ] it was a -- it was a great show from the start. and certainly that is not what i would have predicted watching season one is that it would be a teaching tool for parents, which gally speaks to what an incredible job thos have done, keeping this show just gr different aning and evolving. this always makes me happy who people spend a long ti in new york find some success, and then they see eir own billboards around town. >> yeah. >> seth: you've got yourself in a subway right here. >> yeah. >> seth: did you enjoy that? [ cheers and applause >> i mean -- [ cheers and applause ]>> eth: yeah. >> it's really -- it's really gratifying to see those posters around. you know, i lived in new york oy and off for rs. and so i've lived off many subway stops. h. seth: y [ light laughter ] >> and it's really fun to be like, "i lived off that one and there is a poster." >> seth: yeah. nd>> "i lived off that one there's a poster." >> seth: and you find one that has not been defaced yet, i mean, congratulations. >> oh, my gosh. yes. [ laughter ] neyou know, last year, somid deface one of the taylor mason singular posters, but all they i
was add some very sensible lip color and eye shadow. >> seth: wow. [ laughter ]as >> so, ill about it. this one though, is special. explain the vantage point of is ne. >> yeah. so this billboard here is directly across the street from the showtime offices and happens to be on top of a building where i had one of the worst jobs ve ever had. i was 19. i was in my fourth semester at school. so i was working from 9:00 to 5:00 in this office. and i'm just -- i'm not built for that. in an office, e-mailing, answering phones. really, as i said, just one of the worst jobs i've ever had. and so it is particularly gratifying to see that billboard above that building. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> directly across the street from the showtime offices. [ cheers a applause ] >> seth: i hope the people -- i hope your form co-workers find it gratifying, as well. "they made it." >> me too. [ laughter ] >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> thank you so much for having me. >> seth: been a pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you. >> seth: asia kate dillon, everybody. "billions" returns this sunday at 9:00 p.m. on showweme.
l be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh ♪ it's taking over ♪ there's no escape ♪ you better get moving ♪ t♪ ready or not e ♪ it's about to go down here it comes now ♪ ♪ get ready ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ get ready ♪ moving ♪ ready or not ♪ get ready ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ hey i'm a dancer, i live in new york city. casting directors will send a video of choreograph and say, "if you can be here in a couple hours, the job is yours." and then i need my phone to work wthe video they sent me or g while i learn the choreography as best i can. they key is to hold the bar up top and not the pole, so that you have full range of motion.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back to "late night." now, everybody uses youtube. youtube is a great way to watch videos, share your own videos. it also brings people together. helps form some pretty unique online communities, gamers, filmmakers, musicians, all have communities on youtube. they're also -- though several of these communities that are a little more niche. nd we thought we would take look at the smaller communities in a segment we call "youtube subcommunities." ] [ cheers and appla >> seth: first up, if you use youtube, you've probabe seen these tech review videos, where people revw new phones or computers. well, there's actually a -y community ofr-olds on youtube who review sticks. [ laughter ] check out one of these stick reviews. ♪ >> welcome back to jake says.
i'm back with a brand-new video. and today i'm going to be reviewing a stick that i found in mr. sorenson's yard this afternoon. let's take a look. this is a beautiful stick. [ laughter ] it's perfectly firm without being too rigid. and it has a nice elongated look. okay. so i like the way the stick looks. but do i like the way it operates? there's only one way to find out. it's time for the swat test. ♪ [ laughter ] wow. those were some tremendous slaps. i give this stick a four-and-a-half pine cones. thanks for watching "jake says." please remember to like and subscribe. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: the stick test. up next, you are probably
familiar with ted talks, some o st popular videos online. [ applause ] ubah. some of them on yohave as many as 30 million views. well, there is a much less, mucr less populars on youtube called "ted 2 talks." these are ted talks entirely about the movie "ted 2." [ laughter ] take a loo >> june 26th, 2015. the day america's favorite teddy bear returned to theaters everywhere. ted. reunited again with mark wahlberg. man and beast, separated by so much, right? wide chasm, right? right? right? [ laughter ] but what if -- what if folks -- what if we did this? that's right. despite their differences, this cotton-stuffed children's toy
and this human man are still friends. regardless, it doesn't matter if ted and mark are getting high, watching "law and order" on the couch. if they're smoking marijuana with amanda seyfried. or if they're breaking into tom brady's home and trying to steal his sperm, his ejaculate. no matter what they're going for, no matter what happens, these two are and always will be friends. thank you. [ applause ] thank you. thank you so much. >> seth: ted 2 talks. moving on, you may have seen le videos of he who interrupt local news stories. these are l over the internet. the local news reporter will be doing a field piece, someone will run up, yell sog and run away.
well, there is a smaller subset re videos that feature these hecklers, but theyhe ones who lose their nerve before they can interrupt. let's take a look. >> good afternoon. today the mayoral subcommittee on education is voting on what has the potential to be the largest cuts to school funding in recent history. if the cuts are approved, local experts are anticipating protests, as many are dubbing the cuts anti-teacher. if protests do occur, they're expected outside this building as early as thursday morning. >> bababooy. >> back to you, chuck. >> back to you, chuck. [ applause ] >> seth: finally, this last one is a little different. this video is actually a spinoff to the reality show "the bachelor," deemed too upsetting fo tv and then put straight on to youtube.'s alled "the cabbage patchelor." [ light laughter ] in this version of the show ten lucky ladies are invited to an island to compete for the love of one eligible bachor. except the bachelor in question is a person who has received a massive amount of plastic
surgery to make themselves look like a cabbage patch kid. [ laughter ] check out these clips from the season finale of the never seen "the cabbage patchelor." >> ten single women, one single man who looks like a cabbage patch kid. [ light laughter ] but who will win his heart? this is "the cabbage patchelor." >> i've dated a lot of guys, but i guess you could say i'm looking for my prince charming. [ laughter ] >> so, landon, where are you from? >> i was born in babyland general hospital inside a giant cabbage leaf. just after little magic bees sprinkled their pollen over mother cabbage's earth crystals. >> that is so amazing. i love cabbage so much. it's basically my favorite food. >> every time you eat a cabbage, you're also eating the insect that grows inside. >> yummy.
[ laughter ] landon is so [ bleep ] hot. >> ahh! >> how's that? >> i want to go higher! ooh! >> i really loved getting to know landon. i don't get along with guys my own age and landon says he's going to be 6 years old forever. that has very troubling implications, but whatever, you know? i'm in love. >> and now with only three women remaining, the time has come for landon to pick his patchelorette. landon, take your rose. >> this is the hardest decision i've ever had to make. i wish i could give a rose to all of you! but this rose goes to -- ♪ >> no, no, no, buddy. [ laughter ]
there we go. >> this rose goes to michelle! >> oh! landon! i love you! >> i love you! [ laughter ] yay! >> being with landon has been incredible! it's totally changed my life in so many ways. and eventually i decided i wanted to get even closer to him. so i also got 14 hours of surgery to become a cabbage patch kid! [ laughter ] my name is cherry chauncey and i'm a real life cabbage patch kid! >> and she's my wife! and we're going to be together forever! [ laughter ] yahoo! [ applause ] >> seth: that was youtube subcommunities.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ seven texts 2:00 a.m. halfway dressed all saying call me up ♪ ♪ you can't sleep you're testinge bad but sweet and i'm just tryna ♪p ♪ k together ooh and now you're sayin' put your han♪ ♪ on my body just like you think you know me want your heart ♪ ♪ beating on me don't leave me hot and lonely i don't usually ♪ ♪ give in to peer pressure but i'll give in to yours ♪ ♪ ♪ when we met, innocent now i'm dead every time you're touchin' me ♪ ♪ you're dancing around on my mind every second i'm under control ♪
♪ 'till you're in front of m maybe i'm scared i don't care ♪ ♪ i'm addicted i'm in it then you say ♪ put your hands ♪ ♪ on my body just like you think you know me want your heart ♪ ♪ beating on me don't leave me hot and lonely i don't usually ♪ ♪ give in to peer pressure but i'll give in to yours ♪ ♪ so i give you my everything and you keep on teasing with that lo♪ ♪ in your eyes 'cause you know i believe it ually ♪ ♪ give in to peer pressure but i'll give in to yours ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh oh, i'll give in to yours ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ahh yeah ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ ♪ when we met, innocent now i'm dead and you're sayin' ♪ put your hands ♪ ♪ on my body just
like you think you know me want your heart ♪ ♪ beating on me don't leave me hot and lonely i don't usually ♪ ♪ give in to peer pressure but i'll ge inrs to y♪ ♪ so i give you my everything and you keep on teasingt with tok ♪ ♪ in your eyes 'cause you know i believe it i don't usually ♪ g ♪e in to peer pressure but i'll give in to yours ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh aah girloo ooooh ooh, i'll give in ♪ ♪ to yours ooh-ooh-ooh ahh yeah ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ ♪ you're dancing around on my mind ♪very second i'm under control ♪ 'till you're in front of me maybe i'm scared i don't care ♪ ♪ i'm addicted i'm in it [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: james bay, everyone.ee pressure" out now.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> set ricky gervais, asia kate dillon, james bay! allison miller, 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening, i'm carson daly. this is tonight's "last call" coming to you from the flatiron room. thanks for being here. and coming up, "the