Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  April 30, 2019 12:37am-1:37am EDT

12:37 am
♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight --, glenn howerton comedian desi lydic, music from craig finn,ur featg the 8g band with valerie franco. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentleren, seth meys. >> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." nihow's everybody doing toght? [ cheers and applause ] no, no, no, wally. no, wally, i'm calling you out. guys, the last thursday we did a show, we did a 90-minute -- a
12:38 am
special 90-minute "late night." so he i come out tonight, i look at my e card, my first cue card. wally didn't even write a new one. [ laughter ] and look at --en i don't now -- i don't even know if you can see on camera the lazy effort to cross out -- [ laughter ] you were like, "quick, get me your smallest sharpie." [ laughter ] you're saving the environment and i appreciate that, wally. i appreciate that. all right, let's get to the news. former vice president joe biden has officially announced he's running for president. and he's already a front runner, which is ideal because nothing good happens when he comes from behind. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] first lady melania trump's birthday was on friday. and this is nice, she got a carr from h team at the be best campaign. [ laughter ] democratic presidential hopeful beto o'rourke has unveiled a
12:39 am
$5 trillion plan to co climate change. and i think we all know how he plans to deal with flooding. [ laughter ] as part of a defense conferencea this week will be simulating what would happen if an asteroid struck earth. said nasa, "it woulde like, 'ah!'" [ laughter ] nmovie theater in nashville recently changed te of the film "hellboy" on its marquee -- [ laughter ] to "heckboy", because it's located across the street from an elementary school. even worse, on sunday afternoon, they had a showing of the classic bond film, "ocha." [ laughter and applause ] they were really upset. i'm really upset that you're applauding a writer whose -- [ ughter ] whose movie reference was that.
12:40 am
[ laughter ] samsung has announced that to make it easier for u to watch smartphone videos, it will begin selling a tv that can pivot between orientations.on upearing that, mike pence threw out his tv. [ laughter ] "no tv of mine is pivoting orientations. [ laughter and applause ] if god made you horizontal --" and finally according to the "new york times," "game of thrones" inspired names are becoming more populafor babies. "yeah, thanks a lot, mom and dad," said grey worm. [ laughter and applause ] we've got a great show for you tonight! he is the star of "a.p. bio." [ cheers and applause ] currently in its seconon right here on nbc, our friend glenn howerton is back, everybody. [ cheers and applaus she is a very funny comedian whose new special for ly "the daihow" "desi lydic: abroad" premiers monday, may 13th on comedy central. desi lydic is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] and music from one of my
12:41 am
all-time favorite artists, craig finn is back tonight so -- [ cheers and applause ] it is -- it is a great show. guys, i'm always extra excited, extra happy. four of my favorite people are in the audience tonight.nd my mom ay three aunts, everybody. give it up. [ cheers and applause ] they're four women -- four women who are very, very clrly related. [ laughter ] and i really love it when they're here because it's the only time that the five of us are in a room togethre they're not all talking at the same time. [ laughter ] but if you see them on the street, they're going to be lk wag around going to broadway shows, isn't that right, mom? >> yeah. >> seth: yeah, okay. so if you see them on the street, please stop, say, "hello," and show them the map on your phone because -- [ laughter ] they don't know how to access it on their phone and they're often lost.
12:42 am
[ laughter ] lock up your gin! [ laughter ] i have said it before, they look like a paint strip for the different kinds of gray at sherwin williams. [ laughter ] anyways, that's my mom, hillary, and that's aunt alex and aunt sherry and aunt christy. one round of applause for -- four of the all-time best. [ cheers and applause ] the president is in a standoff with congress as some democrats call for impeachment. for more on this it's time for "a closer ok." ♪ [ eers and applause ] >> seth: president trump is defying subpoenas from congress as attorney general threatened not to show up to hearings this week and several democrats have called on congress to begin the process of impeachment.
12:43 am
n, trump has a lot going o which means, of course, that he decided to take time out of his schedule to call into a fox morning show and once again spent so much time on the phone that at the end of the interview, the host, maria rtiromo, repeatedly tried to get him to hang up. [ laughter ] ts >> everybody waneople to go out and find out what the hell happened.wh e did all of this corruption start? when you have strzok and page. >> and certainly our viewers want to know.er >> the lov we call them. >> yeah. our viewers want to know that. >> said we wanted insurance policies. >> mr. president, thank you so much. >> hillary clinton loses. [ laughter ] a "we wantinsurance policy where we can get trump out." well, it didn't work so well. but i tell you what. >> yeah.ur >> it really hour country and it hurts our country. [ light laughter ] these people are corrupt. >> yeah. >> and then you look at a guy like brennan with his big mouth. but it's a disgrace.ne everyoants to know, maria, and you might be number one on the list -- i watch your show. you're incredible. you may be number one on the list. >> thank you. >> everybody wants to know how did it start, why did it start.t what ahe dossier.
12:44 am
>> well, we want to know. [ laughter ] >> how much did hillary clinton pay for the dossier? you know she paid for it. you know. >> yeah. >> everybody wants to know about it and that's really -- hopefully they'll be going there. >> seth: my god, that was like watching your grandpa try to ge off thone with his grandpa. [ laughter and applause ] she ran out of minutesn her plan. he's like one of those guy who is calls a restaurant to place r an order felivery and then tries to have a conversation with the staff. [ laughter ] "yeah, i'll take a large pepperoni and, hey, what's your name? you always been interested in pizza?" [ laughter ] erknow it's hard to rememb this sometimes, but that guy is the most powerful man in the world. he should be, like, dostuff. and maria knows. i mean, look at her face. [ laughter ] that -- that's the face you make when your friend says, "i want to set you up with a guy. he's a count." hed then halfway through t dinner you realize she meant he can count. [ laughter ] "oh, i know them all. one, two, three.
12:45 am
can't liveithout that number." [ laughter ] but aside from rambling incoherently about whatever he was rambling about, trump also t repe the dangerous line he's been using lately about the investigation of him and his campaign. that it was an attempted coup erd the people behind it w traitors. he used it in the interview with bartiromo and repeated it in speeches in interviews over the last few wks. >> this was an attempted coup. this was an attempted takedown of a president and they got caught. and what they did was treason. this was really a coup attempt. >> it's all quite extraordinary, mr. presidendn >> it di work. we caught them. >> yeah. >> they tried for a coup. didn't work out so well. this was coup. this was an attempted overthrow of the united states government. >> seth: so there you go. that's what the president said. "this was a coup and the people who orchestrated it were traitors." and if there's anything trump thates, it's traitors who to overthrow the united states government. >> some said there were very fine people on both sides of this -- i've answered that question. if you look at what i said, you will see that question was answered perfectly.
12:46 am
and i was talking about people that went, because they felt very strongly about the monument to robert e. lee a great general. whether you like it or not, he was one of the great generals. >> seth: first of all, no, he wasn't. [ laughter ] he led an armed rebellion to bring down the united states govement and he lost. in other words -- >> they tried for a coup. didn't work out so well. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth:nd on top of that -- on top of that. i can't believe we have to keep saying this, but your response c toharlottesville was not perfect. there were very fine people on both sides. they were literal white supremacists showing, "jews will not replace us." and they were caying tiki torches, which is something we'll never forget. because now when you buy a tiki torch, you have to go out of y, your way to sawe're having a barbecue! stlaughter ] it's for barbecue f." but of course, trump couldn't just stop at heaping praise on a traitorous general who defendedv sly and tried to bring down the united states government. he also had to heap some praise on himself. >> how old is too old to be
12:47 am
president? >> well, i think that -- i just feel like a young man. i'm so young! [ lighlaughter ] i can't believe it. i'm the youngest person. i am a young, vibrant man. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] >> seth: i can't believe i have to say this, but we can see you] [ laught [ applause ] i mean, what are we even supposed to do with that information? that's a 72-year-old president of the united states, a man who spend most of his time watching cable tv and riding around in a golf cart. and stands like he's in "weekend at bernie's." [ laughter ] i mean, here he is at his golf club recently with fellow lumpy grandpa rush limbaugh. [ laughter ]ok and lot that. it's like an episode of "star trek" where a transporter malfunction creates a second trump. nglaughter ] and a case defendi robert e. lee or calling him a young, vibrant man wasn't enough, trump also made a bunch of public appearances where, as usual, sounds came out of his mouth that sounded vaguely like
12:48 am
human words. >> look, it's a rigged system, okay? if i told you how crazy it is, the web -- it's a web. you need 193 iq to even understand. this web of geniuses, they put this thing to lower drug price. it has 19 effects here and 27 -- we got it down and we're going to get idown further. we have the smartest people, the best people in the world working on it. this treaty threatened your bj suate. [ laughter ] and you know exactly what's going on here. your rights. i always say this, because as good as that equipment is -- and it's genius, the greatest equipment in the world is a dog. [ laughter ] dogs, a certain type of german shepherd in particular. dogs do a better job tn $400 million worth of -- equipment. >> seth: i mean, good lord, it's like getting cnered at a party by a guy who's almost run out of
12:49 am
cocaine. [ laughter ] [ sniffs ] t "i use a dogugh, that's what i use." [ laughter ] the only thing that's impressive about trump is that the range of subjects he rambles about gets e wiand wider every day. most of the time, he'll say the same stuff over and over about building a wall or crooked hillary or fake news.a but once in ile, he'll mix in something totally bat [ bleep ] crazy like smart dogs with high iqs. [ light laughter ] or whatever the hell he was talking about. honestly, there's a good chance someone switched his fox news to an episode of "wishbone" and he thought it was real. [ laughter ] "you have to see this dog, so smart. [ light laughter ] so it's solving mysteries." [ laughter ] also -- also -- [ cheers and applause ] can we - can we hear the crowd reaction to that line? >> the greatest equipmt in the world is a dog. dogs. [ applause ] a certain type of ph german sheerd in particular. >> seth: the weirdest thing about being at a trump speech is those moments you have to hesitantly clap for stuff yo know you don't understand. [ laughter ]
12:50 am
"yeah, dogs. [ laughter ] yeah, the best equipment's a dog, right? [ light laughter ] we didn't elect a [ bleep ] maniac, right? [ laughter ] yeah. e yeah. yeah." [ laughter ] because all this dumb stuff keeps happening, it's impossible to remember that special counsel robert mueller's final report th came out less two weeks ago. and it confirmed much of what we already suspected about trump, including the fact that he and his team openly welcomed the help of russians seeking to interfere in the election and repeatedly lied about it and tried to interfere in the investigation of we've basically known that for two years, but now we have a 400-page report to prove it. i mean, even the page count looks bad for trump. if youired a private detective to find out if your wife is cheating and he sent you 400 pages -- [ laughter ] you wouldn't even read them. you'd go straight to your lawyer's office. [ laughter ] you're like, "chad has his own section?" [ laughter ] and let's remember, the report specifically listed ten times
12:51 am
trump may have obstructed justice. and mueller's te even went out of their way to say explicitly that they could not exonerate them. instead, mueller specifically turned it over to congress. >> while mueller stopped short ta ng a position on obstruction, his words suggest congress now has a role to play. he writes, quote, "we concluded that congress has authority to prohibit a president's corrupt use of his authority in order to protect the integrity of the administration of justice." >> this is from the mueller report. "the conclusion that congress may apply the obstruction laws t president's corrupt exercise of the powers of office accords with our constitutional system of checks and balances and the principle that no person is above the law." >> seth: it's amazing trump and his suppts are celebrating this as an exoneration when mueller keeps hinting that congress could take actions that were unavailable to mueller. for example, in footnote 574, appendix b, subsection 48c, mueller writes -- mpeachment." [ laughter ] the facts couldn't have been any clearer in mueller's report.
12:52 am
tngress has the authority investigate trump for obstruction of justice and hold him accountable for it. to rein in a lawless president. you have all the evidence you need, but if you still want to find more evidence, just remember -- >> the gatest equipment in the world is a dog. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with our friend glenn howerton, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. she's staying in a rainforest tree house? that's my dream. you dream big for a man on a plane to omaha. liand she's zip lining witle jon? what!il it's lon. even he knows that. thanks, captain obvious. you're witbig jon. i'm steve. don't hate-like their trip, book yours with hotels.com and get rewarded basically everywhere.
12:53 am
hotels.com. be there. do that. get rewarded. bais your floor's best friend. only roomba uses 2 multi-surface rubber brushes h to grab and remor. 2 and the roomba filter captures 99% of dog and cat allergens. if it's not from irobo it's not a roomba. isn't that sunrise somthin'? i honestly feel that way about jimmy dean sausage. get yourself a large chunk of that good morning feeling.y,
12:54 am
hat smells good. mmm. i was tired of having my calls dropped. and then i'd heard that i could get apple music. "boom!" (vo) the best network is even better now that apple music is included with unlimited. plus get a free galaxy s10e when you b one. only on verizon. ♪
12:55 am
my ancestrydna results revealed. i find out i'm 19% native american, specifically from the chihuahua people. what?! that's... i find that crazy. it traces their journey in the mid-1800s from central mexico to texas. learning about the risks they took for a better life... ...it gives me so much respect and gratitude. it just shed so much ght in my past that i never even would've known was there. 20 million members have connected to a deeper family story. order your kit at ancestry.com.
12:56 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there! [ cheers and applause ] sitting in with us all week, she is the drummer for pop artist hayley kiyoko who is preforming at lollapalooza anosheaga this summer. her new podcast, "behind the beat," is out now.e and be sur follow her on youtube and instagram. valerie franco is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thanks so much for being here, valerie. >> thank y. >> seth: you know our first t guesnight from his work on "it's always sunny in philadelphia." he currently stars in the comedy series, "a.p. bio," which airs thursday nights at 8:30 here on nbc. let's take a look. >> whoopsie. >> marcus, i know where you live. >> i retract my "whoopsie."
12:57 am
>> yeah. ve so, i imagine you guys all seen this video of me that's been going around. >> which version? my favorite is when you fall ofa the stage intohark's mouth. [ light laughter ] >> andhen they cut to a guy on maury povich doing an "i'm not the father" dance. fun. >> seth: please welcome backo the show glenn howerton, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hello, glenn. >> hi. >> seth: we spoke backstage. i'm very, very happy with this look. >> you know what? are you? because i feel like i should be strapping sean connery to a table and firing a laser at his balls. [ laughter ] l >> seth: it is.
12:58 am
it has a very nice, like, classic bond villain. >> yeah, it's like a -- >> eth: like a gentleman -- you're like a gentleman villain. >> yeah, i'm like a jerk from the '60s who smokes a pipe. [ laughter ] you know? that's what i was going for. >> seth: yeah, well, well, mission accomplished. [ laughter ] you -- i mean, let's bnest. you are -- i know you to be a lovely person. >> thank you. >> seth: you're very -- "a.p. bio" is another example of it. you're very good at playing jerks. >> yeah. yeah. [ laughter ] what is that? i don't know. you're probably asking me what that is? i want you to tell m because i don't know. like, if you're my -- >> seth: maybe your whole life you've been such a good person and you're so kind to everyone. and yet you have this thckle in back of your head. and you're like, "i wish there was somewhere." >> you know what? >> seth: yeah. >> i think you're actually totally right. i think i've spent, like, the majori -- and this is actually true. and you might now think this from the characters i play. i do consciously try to be a really, really gd person. so i find people like the characters i play so despicable and disgusting, that i have to satirize them. [ laughter ] i'm like, i have to get inside your head and figure out, like, "how can you possibly behave
12:59 am
this way?" and i have to make it funny, otherwise i'll go crazy. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you -- for those who don't kn, you are a harvard professor who's fallen from grace who is now teaching, in , tolep. bio. >> yup. >> seth: one of the things that's great about the show is the kids, the classroohey're incredible actors.he >> tare. >> seth: and the longer the show's been on, the more you get to know them. and you also get to work with friends as far as like patton oswalt and paula pe. that just must make work so much fun. >> it's kind of a dream job. >> seth: yeah. >> not going to lie. it's amazing to be on a sh with such smart, funny, incredibly talented people. and being on screen with those people is fun. being off screen is maybe even more fun. >> seth: sure. >> when you're sitting around and you kind of say and do anything. >> seth: yeah. >> tw,t's where, like, you kno the gloves really come off. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. it's pretty great. >> seth: and you have actually -- you did woids back in the day. you were -- was it a theater camp counselor? or just regular camp counselor? >> yeah, i worked at a summer camp called rench woods" in
1:00 am
upstate new york.p? oh, what's u [ laughter ] >> seth: "french woods" sound like what you call it if you want to charge a little bit [ laughter ] >> yeah. the guy who runs the camp dresses like i'm dressed right now. laughter ] and he winks at you likehis when he signs in. he's like, "we're going to sign you up for 'french woods.'" yeah, no. sody actually -- i was alrea doing theater in college. and i actually wanted to do something different. i wanted to go to e camp and coach basketball because i've always loved basketball. i'm not very good at it but i've always loved it.he and then tfound out that i was -- they were like, "oh, but you're a theater guy. so, you should be doing theater." so then i ended up, like, co-directing, like, a 7-year-old production of "guys and dolls." [ laughter ] yeah, and now my son is 7 and i'm like, "how did i get these kids to do 'guys and dolls?'" >> seth: yeah. it was incredible.
1:01 am
like, this camp. it's really an amazing camp. for the one guy out there, or o gal whtually know what -- [ laughter ] yeah, you will attest to "french woods" is amazing. and they put on like 50 almost i profesal style productions at this camp every year. it's like -- it's unbelievable. >> seth: but did you enjoy it? like working with 7-year-old's? >> i did, yeah. i didn't think i liked kids that much when i -- >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. i don't know. i thought kids were just annoying andettupid. >> s yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: i don't think you're far off. i do think having your own kids, like, makes you reevaluate. >> yeah. >> seth: i always thought kids were annoying and stupid and now i have them. >> well, they are stupid. they don't know anything. >> seth: yeah, they're definitely stupid. yeah. [ laughter ] >> they don't know -- yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> they don't know nearly as much as you and i do. ey>> seth: and they think know everything. >> yeah. and you just want to go -- and you can't say this 'cause they're kids. but you want to go, "you stupid idiot, you don't know anything." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> you don't know -- you don't know squat, buddy. >> seth: yeah. they amount i want to say li'm, "oh, io glad you're here. i never would have known that's a tree." >> yeah. [ laughter ]ee "that's a trdaddy." >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, like i didn't know that was a tree.
1:02 am
stupid idiot. [ laughter ]th i went to this camp and i started working with these kids. and after the first day, actually, they were so -- they put me in the bad kids bunk. >> seth: oh wow. >> so, not only wai teaching. but you have to be like -- you have to be in the bunk with the kids. i was like these kids are a nightmare. [ light laughter ]ck they stue with the kids who wanted to play rock n. roll. they stuck me with, like, the rock camp kids and the skater punk kids. anm i was like, i just -- i' also a kid. i'm like 19 years old. i'm like i can't handle these 11-year-old punks. s t then after a couple of d i was like, i don't know. i started making jokes with them. and then we became buddies. and then i realilid, i kind of kids. they're still idiots. >> seth: yeah. >> but i don't know. [ laughter ] >> seth: when you then left, were you, kind of, shocked to, like, reintegre yourself with people your own age? were you like, "i'm really cool." and then you realized you were, like, doing comedy for 11-year-olds? [ light laughter ] >> yeah, exactly. right. no, i think what i actually realized after i reintegrated myself was i actually like kids better than i like adults. >> seth: yeah, people your own age. yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: that's what you realized. >> yeah. >> seth: you also, i hto ask, before you go, yohad a job that i don't think anyone who's ever been on the show has
1:03 am
ever had before they became an actor. you were a door to door meat salesman. >> yeah. [ laughter ] this is -->> seth: oh, wait, no. meryl streep. i forgot. meryl streep. >> yeah. she also had that job. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah, yeah. i had some weird jobs. >> seth: yeah. >> i really did. i had some very, very strange jobs. h.at was definitely the strangest, thoug and that is a true story. i was almost like, you know, my first job was at chick-fil-a. i was like, "i just don't want to work at chick-fil-a anymore. and i also had a job at a mitsubishi factory cleaning parts and stuff., and i was like don't want to do that because that's just as gross." although, driving the forklift was fun. but, anyway, i was like, "how a can i makeittle bit more money?" i saw an ad, "sell meat door to door." [ laughter ] and i was like, "i can do that. i can sell anybody meat." you know whaghi mean? [ laughter ] so, literally driving around in a refrigerated truck, knocking on people's doors and being like, "hey, so we got meat. [ laughter ] all the classic cuts you love."
1:04 am
>> seth: just unsolicited soocking on doors selling meat. >> completely uncited. >> seth: yeah. my favorite response was i went to a guys door and, you know, i knock on the door. i said, "hey, so" -- you know, and i go into my shpiel. you know, "we got meats and we got the t-bone cuts and this" -- you know i wasn't doing that accent. [ laughter ] and he goes -- and this was montgomery, alabama by the way. >> seth: yeah. >> so, he looks at me and goes, "yeah, i bought meat from y'all one time. tasted like windex." [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] i was like, "so that's a no?" it's all f.o. i'm going to f.o. and you can get back to your normal meat, sir. >> seth: yeah. -- whatever meat you norma >> seth: well, i hope he found his regular meats. and i'm glad you found the path that you found. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: i'm very happy you're here. you did dress like this as a meat salesman as well, though, right? [ laughter ] >> absolutely. from, you know? some schmuck in a t-shirt or this guy? >> seth: thanks so much for being here, glenn. it's always a pleasure. [ eers and applause ] glenn howerton, everybody. "a.p. bio" thursday nights at
1:05 am
8:30 here on nbc. be right back with desi lydic. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what is that? uh mine, why? it's just that it's... lavender. yes it is, it's for men but i like the smell of it laughs ♪
1:06 am
mom? ¡mom! mom! mommy at t.j.maxx we believe just because the name's e same, doesn't mean the gift should be. mom deserves better, and you do too. doesn't mean the gift should be. get quality gifts she'll love, at prices you'll love. maxx life at t.j.maxx there's thousands of ingredients out there. the freshest stuff this planet can grow. not buzzword fresh. but, actually fresh-fresh. fresh.a, at pe hand-pick berries at peak-season. use creamy avocado. cage-free eggs. and a dressing fit for a goddess. and every ingredient is 100% clean. comeshaste what a salad ould be. and for your next ev pt big or small, tryanera catering. panera. food as should be.
1:07 am
forget about vacuuming foweeks. the (new) roomba i7+ with clean base automatic dirt disposalom empties the bin for you. so dirt is off your hands. if it's not from irobot, it's not a roomba.
1:08 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ]
1:09 am
>> seth: our next guest is a very funny "daily show" correspondent. her special "desi lydic: abroad" airs may 13th on comedy central' les take a look. wh>> iceland is not perfec it comes to gender equality. we still have work to do. i'm glad you're like at least a little bit [ bleep ] up. >> we are. i would like to see a lot more of them in leadership roles.he y say that we have more gender equality here than ie other coun but really, we're not equal just to make it clear. >> but you're number one. >> number one doesn't mean that there is equality. >> we're not going to keep being number one if we relax. >> oh, i'm not relaxing. i'm doing kegels right now. [ laughter ]e >> seth: pleaslcome to the show desi lydic, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome to the show! >> thank you! [ cheers andpplause ]
1:10 am
>> seth: so this is very cool. you traveled, you went to bi nami you went to spain, you went to iceland to talk about gender equality. >> i did. >> the united states, 49th in the world which isretty embarrassing. >> not great. >> seth: not great. >> we could be better. >> seth: we could be better. 48 slots available. light laughter ] >> right. >> seth: and how did the other countries -- you know, i think obviously in america, most of us would be pretty disappointed b that. how do other countries react when you tell them the united states is 49th? >> well you know, i feel like they were as shocked as to find out that news. but they thought that we were actually ranked lower. >> seth: oh wow. [ audience ohs ] >> i did man on the street in the blue lagoon and asked people where do you think america is ranked? and they went, "oh, i don't know, 75th, 119th?" [ laughter ] i'm like calm down, we'ratnot thad, okay. >> seth: you were in iceland, which as you said in the clip is number one for gender -- >> yes. >> seta and you got ttoo in iceland. >> i did. >> seth: and what is it? and how did it come about that you got it? >> i met with this incredibly inspiring group of women.e
1:11 am
they wer the clip. they're called the daughters of reykjavik. and they are an all female rap collective, 22 members strong. >> seth: okay. >> so they're basically like an icelandic wu-tang clan. [ laughter ] and they all share this matching tattoo. so like, when you go to a frat party and someone draws a [ bleep ] on your face. >> seth: yeah. s it's like that but this the feminist version of it. >> seth: oh wow, that's very -- how do you -- have you had to explain it to anybody when they see it? >> yeah, well actually, i just went home to kentucky to visit my parents for easter. and my dad was like, "so talto me about the significance of the tattoo." and i was like, "well, it's a triangle so it's representative of female empowerment." [ laughter ] and with somdots above, meaning the individual is stronger with the support of others.
1:12 am
i barely regret it. i barely regret it. >> seth: yeah, yeah. i don't think you should regret it at all. and namibia, how was your ti there? what was their take on america if you asked? >> it was amazing. they too were surprised that we were ran well as we were. but they -- [ light laughter ] yeah, i got it everywhere. but they're incredible. i spoke with this really wonderful woman rosa namises and she spoke about how namibia has almost 50% representation in me parlia. and how a lot of that stems back from when they gained their independence. women were on the frontlines. they were part of writing the constitution, which is, you know, something we're still fighting for equal rights in our constitution with the e.r.a. and she's telling me all of this. she's holding this feather thatk she pi up and she's kind of caressing the feather. and she looks down at the feather and then she looks backo at me and she , "desi, i want you to have this feather." and i went, "oh, thank you." what, is thi
1:13 am
a sacred namibian custom? will it bring me good luck? and she goes, "no, no, it's to dry your tears when you're sad abouamerica." [ laughter ] >> seth: burn. >> i have used it many times since then. [ applause ] >> seth:shh, my god. feather burned you. >> she feather burned me. classic namibian feather burn. >> seth: your parents, as you nt mened are from kentucky. fairly conservative? >> yes. very conservative. >> seth: and you work on "the daily show", which is a show like this one where we sometimes talk about the president. >> y. >> seth: how do they react to it? >> well, they haven't spoken to me in quite some time. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> but when i reconnect with them, i'm excited to ask them that question. >> seth: yeah, yeah. >> no, they're very, very apportive. i think being anor and looking for work for so long, they're just so happy that i actually have a job. >> seth: sure. [ light lahter ] >> so they are supportive, but they will watch the pieces. but my mom has to kind of compartmentalize it, like, "well, we could get into it but you have to believe what you believe for your job, to keep your job."
1:14 am
[ laughter ] you know. "i don't want you to lose your job so we just won't talk about it." >> seth: does humor run in your? family do you have some relatives with comedy tropes back ikentucky? >> yeah. my aunt has like a really dirty sense of humor. she's almost 80 years old. and just to give you an idea, she -- for my wedding when i got marrd, she gave me a slow cooker, like a crock pot. but she changed the outside of the box to read crotch pot. [ laughter ] and she filled it with crotchless panties and lubes and like, dusting powders. i don't know what theye for. >> seth: and you had not registered for that. [ light laughter ] >> i had not registered for that. >> seth: okay, got it. >> i had not registered for that. [ laughter ] and she filled it with these like dirty recipes. so like, she wrote a recipe for roasted chicken, it was like gently massage the oil on the skin of the chicken and spread apart the thighs.li
1:15 am
and i'm , "oh, my god, she's almost 80 years old." [ laughter ] she's my hero. >> seth: we should all aspire to that. >> we should. >> seth: yeah. i mean, i feel like that alone should bring us up to 48 or 47. >> right? >> seth: yeah. >> if we had more aunt jans in the world, w would be so much better. >> seth: yeah, i think we'd be -- move over namibia. hey, thank you so much for being here. congrats on the special. delightful to meet you.ch [ rs and applause ] that's desi lydic, everybody. "desi lydic: abroad" may 13th on comedy central. we'll be right back with more "late night."nd [ cheers applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
1:16 am
♪ chili's 3our signatureents ♪ sirloin steak. aged to perfection and served with a starter and drink for just $10. dinn with mom, dad, grandma and her friend randy, who seems to be a little more than a friend. together we chili's. is your floor's best friend. multi-surface rubber brushes to grab and remove pet hair. and the roomba filter captures 99% of dog and cat allergens. if it's not from irobot, it's not a roomba. delivered to your door try tso you can do more.very. ♪ ♪ feels so good ♪ feels so good ♪ feels so good target run and done. at your fingertips. ♪
1:17 am
download doordash. firsfeorder, $0 delivery download doordash. i'myou pick it up. up. ing it up. i'm not pi well, somebody's gotta pick it up. i'll pick it up. they're clean! ♪ cuz my hiney's clean ♪ oh yeah, i'm charmin clean ♪ that's how i know they're clean ♪ (vo) charmin ultra strong is woven like a wash cloth and just cleans better. ♪ yeah, i'm charmin clean the kid does have a point. t (vo) e go with charmin. and for an extra clean finish, try charmin flushable wipes. and tripadviser named us the best airline in the u.s. ... because we do everything differently... for one purpose: you. [clap, clap, ding] featuring three new dishes that are planked-to-perfection. feast on new cedar-planklob. or new colossal shrimp & salmon with a citrusy drizzle.
1:18 am
tender, smoky, and together on one plank... ...but not for long- so hurry in! ♪ ♪ ♪ the first ever corolla hybrid. let's go places.
1:19 am
did you know comcast business goes beyond fast with a gig-speed network. complete internet reliability. advanced voice solutions. wifi to keep everyone connected. video monitoring. that's huge. did you guys know we did all this stuff? no. i'm not even done yet. wow. cloud apps and support. get the solutions you need to take your business beyond. start with fast, reliable internet for just $59.95 a month. it's everything a small business owner needs. comcast business. beyond fast.
1:20 am
only one billionth of one per cent is filtethd naturally beneath e earth, red emerges crisp and eshing enough to bcalled deer park®. deer park® 100% natural spring water. born better®. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." the democratic presidential in field is becomincreasingly crowded. and one candidate is having a bit of difficulty breaking through is former colorado governor john hickenlooper. here to comment are two members of his staff eric hoynes and chris nance. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show. i'm so happy you guys made time to be here. >> thank you for having us, seth. ha seth: now what do you say to people who think tin a crowded field, john hickenlooper isn't doing enough to set himself apart? >> great question.
1:21 am
seth, the governor has a vision for this country that we believe will begin to cut through al the noise. >> and not only does he have a vision, but we believe that in no time, americans will begin to sesmhis talent and his chari >> seth: that's great. current surveys show him polling between 0 and 1%. [ laughter ]lo >> at hickener headquarters, we don't pay attention to polls. we pay attention to our candidate.an >> a cdate we can trust. a candidate i will stand by through thick and thin. a candidate that i -- [ phone rings ] you know what, i'm so sorry. hrhave to take this. hi, yes, this is c. senator kamala harris liked me? she said i nailed the interview? [ lauger ] i got the job? do i have any conflicts? no, no. i can start tomorrow. [ laughter ] great, great. so looking forward to this. thank you so much. thank you. thank you so much. thank you. [ light laughter ]
1:22 am
where were we? >> seth: hickenlper. >> oh yeah. hickenlooper. good guy. [ laughter ] >> did you get that communications director job for senator kamala harris? >> yeah. >> i was up for that job. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> i know. >> congrats. [ light laughter ] >> seth: um, okay. [ laughter ] so how do you think governor hickenlooper's more modera approach to health care stacks up against some of the more liberal candidates in the democratic field? [ laughter ] >> what? >> what? [ light laughter ] >> seth: health care. >> right, health care! >> seth -- seth, we are excited about governor hickenlooper's stance on health care because we believe he can work with insurance companies to bridge e gap between the public and the private sector.
1:23 am
>> that said, i think senator harris has a much more comprehensive plan [ light laughter ] >> dude, are you serious? [ phone ringing ] [ light laughter ] >> somebody else is getting a one call. gentlemen, pardon me while i take this. hello. yeah, hi, mom. [ lauger ] yeah. i'm doing an interview on tv. for hickenlooper. hickenlooper! yeah, it's a real name. he's the governor of uh -- uh -- >> colorado. >> colorado. yeah, i should know that.no no, no, no, chris got that job with the harris campaign. yeah, he's sitting right here next to me. she wants to talk to you. >> oh. [ laughter ] >> hi, mrs. hoynes. oh, my god, thank you so much. [ laughter ] that is so kind.
1:24 am
you're right, this is a huge, huge step for me. [ light laughter ] especially because hickenlooper's only polling between 0 and 1%. [ laughter ] anyway, thank you so much, mrs. hoynes.an do you wto say good-bye to your son? you sure? [ laughter ] okay. all right. bye. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ]he >> sidn't want to say good-bye to me? >> no. >> seth: hey guys, could we maybe just, you know, get back to hkenlooper? >> you know what? i don't want to get back to hickenlooper. if we're being totally honest here, he doesn't have a shot in hell of winning. his best bet is secretary of transportation. hell, if he's lucky under secretary of transportation. [ phone ringing ] yeah, hi governor. [ lahter ] uh-huh. uh-huh. yeah. okay. bybye. so he was watching. >> seth: you fired? >> oh yeah, big time fired. >> seth: yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ]
1:25 am
>> the governor, however, wants to congratulate you on your new job. he wishes you the best in the future. >> seth: we'll be right back, everybody, with music from crg finn! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ try drive up at target.
1:26 am
delivered to your car door so you can do more. ♪ feels so good ♪ feels so good target run and done. verizon got us vip tickets three feetlaway from justin timberke. my wife, me, jt. (vo) get more music on us
1:27 am
izth vip tickets from veronup. plus get a free galaxy s10e when you buy one. only on verizon. got their start in 195 right here in the ballpark. they soon becameer a summ tradition, passed from one generationhe to t next. with the tastef 100% angus be ball park franks bring on summe em ♪ mmm, exactly! liberty mutual customizes your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. nice! but uh, what's up with your partner? oh! we just spend all day telling everyone how we customize car insurance op because no two pele are alike, so... limu gets a little confused wn he sees another bird that looks exactly like him. ya... he'll figure it out. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ forget about vacuuming for weeks. the (new) roomba i7+ with clean base automatic dirt disposal
1:28 am
orempties the roomba bin fou. so dirt is off your hands. if it's not from irobot, it's not a roomba. i'm always going to be a maker. and i think a company is the coolest thing you can build. i'm adam, and i make robots. you never know when inspiration is going to strike. so i take my surface pro everywhere. part of an entrepreneur's job is to get stuff done. i like o do, like, four thingsat once. the new surface pro can handle all of my programs.ca paint, i can mold, i can code. i have it on all the time, it's fantastic. we get to build toys for kids and change the world
1:29 am
millerwith great tastebrewed and only 96 calories. now that's a combo. miller lite. hold true.
1:30 am
i've slain your dreadedragon. for saving the kingdom what doth thou desire? my lord?go hey od knight. where are you going? ♪ ♪ climbing up on solsbury hill ♪ grab your things, salutations. coffee that is a cup above is always worth the quest. nespresso. tis all i desire did thou bring enough for the whole kingdom? george: nespresso, what else? ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
1:31 am
>> seth: performing "something to hope for" off his new album "i need a new war", please welcome back to the show, our friend craig finn, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ joanie i was calling just to tell you that i'm gonna♪ ♪ be calling i know you hate to be surprised i want you♪ ♪ to be prepared i guess the doctor's back in town♪ ♪ i heard they're gonna give him clearance♪ ♪ i see a storm coming up inhe distance the only kind of♪ ♪ dreams you ever seem to have
1:32 am
are bad dreams the only thing♪ ♪ you ever say you ever really want to do is sleep♪ ♪ i know that you've been passed around you've been♪ ♪ hurt so much you're bored t i wanto give you something♪ ♪ to hope for i got a little something from the state for♪ h ♪ all of mysle got little bit more from the guy behind♪ ♪ the wheel ptain started laughing then the♪ ♪ accident it happened now it's a whole different deal♪ ♪ the only kind of dreams you ever seem to have are bad dreams♪ ♪ the only thing you ever say you really want to do is smoke♪ ♪ i know that you've been passed around you've been hurt♪
1:33 am
♪ so much that you're bored i'm going to give you♪ ♪ something to hope for ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ would you want to take a little ♪ drive with me out into the mountains ♪ ♪ there's nothing here in this town but the ravage of time ♪ the darkness ♪ in the tavernsan the boys back by the bathrooms♪ ♪ all the nickels and dimes for once in my life♪'v ♪ igot a little something here in my pocket♪ ♪ it feels pretty sweet with a littleoo bit of♪ ♪ to breathe i've been keeping up with payments♪ ♪ man, i've bee managing the pain
1:34 am
the wheels♪ ♪ slide off the highway one more minute in this city's♪ ♪ gna give me a breakdown one more night in this bar♪ ♪ is gonna give me the blues an altima with one♪ ♪ headlight out slipping sliding spinning 'round♪ ♪ joanieke i'm gonna care of you ♪ i'm gonna take care of you i want to give you something♪ ♪ to hope forgi i wanna you something to hope for♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: craig finn, everyone. "i need a new war" is out now. for tour dates go to craigfinn.net.ht we'll be rigack. [ cheers and applause ]
1:35 am
alright boys, time for bed. listen to your mom, knuckleheads. hand et over. hand whaover? video games, whatever you got. let's go. you can watch vide
1:36 am
of people playing video games in the morning. is that everything? i can see who's online. i'm gonna sweep the sofa fort. well, look what i found. take control of your wifi with xfinity xfi. be careful out there! now that's simple, easy, awesome. switch to xfinity internet for $34.99 a month for 12 months and get the speed, coverage and control you need with xfinity xfi. click, call or visit a store today.
1:37 am
[ cheers >> seth: my thanks to glenn howerton and desi lydic. craig finn, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] valerie franco and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ev >> carson: good ing and welcome to "the last call" from the flatiron room here in new c

54 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on