tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS February 19, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
but, see, i-i have asperger's. what's your excuse? three months u were stuck like this wandering these halls? yep. alex was here fighting for my life, searching for a way to bring me back. (sighs) well, i'm dead, charlie. there's... there's no coming back from this. i know. i'm worried about her. she always felt responsible for you. i think in a way she feels like she let you down. maybe that's it. maybe that's why i'm still here. maybe it's my turn to take care of her. and when i know that she's okay, i'll--i'll move on. that could take a while, luke. right? in the meantime, let's, um, let's try this funeral home release. couldn't hurt, right? baby steps. get her to sign it when i see her, and we'll see what happens. thanks.
hey, man, this is apparently what i do. charlie. hey! i was, uh... we've been paging you. we need you in the o.r. now. okay. i'll sign the release. we need to go. it's invading the l3? yeah, there's no plane. well, i can't risk paralyzing the kid, trying to find a clean margin. well, we've already cut off his blood supply to the kidney. the tumor's rotting. i can't close him up. he'll die of sepsis. well, i'll take a look, alex, but i can't promise you anything. charlie, i need this to work. i know you do, but i don't wanna do more harm than good. i was wrong getting us into this surgery. that's what you're thinking. no, i'm thinking you're trying to save a kid who may have years in front of him. we can fix him. we can't let him die, charlie. he's 7 years old. it'll kill his father. i... (sighs) could you go in from the back? uh... i can't access the tumor that way,
sats and pressure are lousy. he's fluid overloaded. (alex) well, we've got a plan. charlie does. (charlie) laminectomy. go in from the back. expose his spinal cord, which is... (inhales deeply) like shaving a balloon, but then someone will have to hold the spine out of the way while i blindly chisel the cancer off the spine from t front. you better be able to do this. (monitor beeps) page dana so we can close him up fast. right. charlie. (scrubbing hands) yeah?
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early gum disease in just two weeks. listerine(r). power to your mouth ! yes. l3. we landmarked it. his sats are dropping, and his b-pressure's way up. ballpark timeline? i can stabilize him for now, but we can't keep him under much longer. okay. all right. reycraft, retract the dura carefully. it's like tissue paper. alex? (alex clears throat) (beeps) i need an osteotome and a mallet, please. (alex) i'll suction. (suction gurgling) (tapping) charlie, stop, stop. i think you might have nicked the spinal cord. (inhales deeply) yeah, i can see the tear. put him in trendelenburg. (beeps)
(beeps) (sighs) yeah, i see a 5-millimeter tear of the dura. spinal cord and nerves look intact. uh, victor, 6-0 monofilament. coming. how's it looking, charlie? i'll know in a minute. (monitor beeps) scissors. (snip) okay, let's see if that holds. george, lower the table. yeah. (table whirs) (monit beeps)
let's get this tumor out. dr. hamza says you'r canceling the study. i am. it was far too expensive for the hospital, and i... anyway, i would like to take this opportunity to apologize to you again. don't. i had fun. you put yourself through a lot for a therapy with no long-term benefits. long-term? mm-hmm. in the long-term, my brain runs out of dopamine, i don't move again. i can't... think long-term. (siren wailing in distance) so tell me... why do you do it? i mean, is it the social aspect? hope. it gave me so much hope. when you're trapped, tiny moments of freedommean a lot.
how much does the study cost, anyway? why? i won 500 bucks on a scratch ticket. i'd throw it in if that would help. walter, you know how we've been discussing your self-esteem and how it's easier for you to stay home with vallenwe'en and take care of her than to go out and how socially, your experience is feeling withdrawn? yeah. and i'm gonna work on that, now that vallenwe'en has a home. (exhales) well, actually, walter, about that, um... i've got a good feeling about that doctor. she's a heart doctor, and she is so beautiful. walter, wait. uh-- i gotta say, i love that guinea pig so much,
to give it to the doctor who fixed my heart. well... walter... (sighs) dr. bell and i discussed the real issues that surround her taking a guinea pig. considering her busy schedule, and, um-- and we decided that at my house vallenwe'en would be left alone for too many hours of the day, and the last time that i checked, my neighborhood doesn't have a guinea pig watcher. (chuckles) so dr. murphy suggested that i make a home for vallenwe'en in my office. that way, i could make sure that she eats every day, and that way, i could make sure that she eats every day, and my office has a south-facing window, so she'll get lots of light. dr. bell, how can i ever thank you? wow, dr. bell. you can thank me by coming to visit vallenwe'en, keep her company. (gavin) really? i will. not every day, right, dr. murphy? we'll talk about what works for you.
yes, joel? it's a nice, tidy office, man. yeah, i don't like to be distracted from my work. look... essentially, you said something to me earlier-- that i don't have any feelings, and, um... (sighs) you know, do have feelings, okay? i-i... i just can't necessarily, um... express them as the chief of surgery. are you... coming on to me, joel? 100% no. oh. i am not coming on to you. i don't know how you arrived at that. that's-- because the... i... way you were... yeah, okay... not at all. i'm sorry that-- i mean, did you-- no, i don't have those feelings for you at all. why would you? oh, please, get over yourself. i just misread social and emotional cues sometimes, like that last one. like that last one.
great. i came here to ask you something. then just ask it, please. you know what? just come with me. are we ready to deliver this bad boy? (alex) okay, we're gonna have to do this with kid gloves. okay, moment of truth. (exhales) okay, the tumor's free on all sides. alex, you should do the honors. actually, maggie, you should okay. (sighs) okay, here goes. (squish) okay. (victor) it's a boy! (alex) actually, her name's marla. it's a girl! (chuckles) (dana) okay, people, we're gonna have one hell of a hole to fill. i want a sterile marker and as much 2-0 prolene as this hospital's got. jeez, look at that. (alex grunts) (thud) alex! hey.
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i use what's already inside me to reach my goals. so i liked when my doctor told me i may reach my blood sugar and a1c goals by activating what's within me. with once-weekly trulicity. trulicity is not insulin. it helps activate my body to do what it's supposed to do release its own insulin. trulicity responds when my blood sugar rises. i take it once a week, and it works 24/7. it comes ian easy-to-use pen and i may even lose a little weight. trulicity is a once-weekly injectable prescription medicine tomprove blood sugar in adults with type 2 diabetes. it should be used along with diet and exercise. trulicity is not recommended as the first medicine to treat diabetes and should not be used by people with severe stomach or intestinal problems, or people with type i diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. trulicity is not insulin and has not been studied with long-acting insulin. do not take trulicity if you or anyone in your family
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appliances. now we just need a guy. i got one! shopping for appliances? i'm from ftilizer... don't go it alone. (sfx: ding) this president's day event sears' experts will help you save 40% or more on kenmore hot buys. and save 20% or more on hot buys from other top brands. plus get free delivery on all appliances over $399 when you use your sears card. sears. house experts for home owners. i'm just tired. you were phenomenal today. thank you. i'm pregnant. (whispers) that's great. (sighs) i, um, i've been keeping secret. just... needed to hear it out loud once again. gavin doesn't know? can't... seem to find the right moment.
speaking of which, i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i don't know why i'm... with luke's death and everything, and... no, it's okay. i needed some good news. (chuckles) just take some time off. go somewhere quiet. mm. let charlie take care of you. tell gin. he loves you. he can handle anything you throw at him. i hope so. mm-hmm. hi. you okay? i don't know. (monitor beeping steadily) hey, lou. where's your dad? (pen clicks) on the phone with my uncle casey
he's excited. duh. well, who can blame him, lou? your surgery was a bit of a miracle. what's a miracle? let's just say that somebody will be writing another paper. hey. (chair wheels roll) what's wrong? i'm a good listener. well, do you think my dad will still like m when i'm bter? absolutely. what do you think we'll do together? (inhales) hey... do you think that the-- the tumor brought the two of you together? yeah. now that it's gone, you're a bitorried? after my mom died, we never went to the zoo or anything. we will now.
i'm not going anywhere, son. make sure he gets some rest, huh? i'll watch "shark rescue." he always falls asleep during "shark rescue." (chuckles) good idea. hey, hey, what do you-- what do you think our new thing should be? sharks. sharks? (chuckles) hey. i've been looking for you. yeah? alex signed the release. your body should be on its way to the funeral home soon. good. she's letting go of you and her grief. i kn it's a baby step, but... it's still a step, right? charlie-- i'm saying i don't-- i don't think that you need to watch over her anymore. she's gonna be okay.
if you told her the truth... about what you can do, told her everything, didn't hold back, what would she do? she'd try to fix-- she'd try to fix me... (sighs) no matter what toll it took on her. you think you're here to protect her from me? i would never hurt her, luke. not on purpose. i know that. i know that. but you and i both know wh she'do d if you told her.
what are you gonna do? uh... (sighs) well, i guess i need to remove the problem. en bloc, rht? think you're free to go. yeah. (inhales deeply) yeah, i think it's time, you know? (sighs) you know, there's actually a really nice place out on mimico creek. (reuben and the dark's "shoulderblade" playing) i'm trying not to try this fire was here before you and i and i've seen it all before
so did i hear whispers about, uh, you and charlie breaking up? are you trying to rattle me? 'cause i am focusing on whether or not her breast cancer has spread. they're keeping it professional at work. oh, i'll te that as true. (beeping) 160. (beeping stops) cautery and tonsil clamp. okay, well... i respect that. (grunts) so he broke up with you? no. it wasn't that definitive. oh. good. now, to keep the lines clean, just put your hand here, pinch the other hand, and pinch, pull down... you can tug. it's strong. okay. all done? pinch and pull down. is there anything else i can get you, emilia? uh, yeah, is there any way you can get someone
does she look like a concierge? dr. reid, let's go. i'll see what i can do. what about this patient? you got the pathology report? mm-hmm. nottingham-- that's a modification of s.b.r. cancer grading, right? so nottingham 7 is a high score. considering the nottingham scale only goes to 9, i'd say so. why wasn't this picked up in earlier mammograms? um, she hadn't had one in a few years. (scoffs) wow, this woman is in serious denial. y is that? a 2.5 centimeter tumor in the lower pole? if she takes a bath or puts on a bra, she would have felt it. perhaps she did. perhaps she thought it was benign tissue. not at her age. and what age is that? 16? 75? do you have to make everything a test? okay. see the relationship between the stroma and the lobules. they're almost equal, whic means she's not producing milk.
clever girl. so what's your recommendation? a t2 triple negative tumor with a nottingham 7 grade-- has to come out fast, as i'm sure you've told her. i didn't, but you just did. dana... (types) turns out wearing a white coat doesn't make me immune. (sighs) (folder rustles) -- captions by vitac -- (kate herzig) you dare me to dance (camera shutter clicking) you offer your hand you're kind of young for a hip implant, aren't yo too old to dance... but just old enough to qualify for the endura-hip how's my star patient? joel! you made it. (camera shutter continues clicking) i did. uh, danny, get a picture of me and the world's best hip surgeon. i'm just here for moral support. get your butt over here. yeah, go on. go.
mm-hmm. mm. mm-hmm. blake, any idea when this campaign is gonna launch? i doubt we'd be paying you for an endorsement if f.d.a. and health canada approval wasn't imminent. (chuckles) mm. all right. mm-hmm. (grunts) (camera shutter continues clicking) oh, i'm so sorry. did i dip you too low? oh, no. no, it's okay. it's a little achy lately. it's just... probably the flu, karl. (chuckles) honey, i'm karl. joel's the pretty one. hi, karl. mm. this morning she called me "jasper." that's her dog's name. how about when you're done here, you swing by the hospital. let me, uh... give you the once-over? okay. okay? yeah. danny... take a picture of us. (camera shutter clicking) okay, here's what's gonna happen. but you don't know what's gonna happen. no one does. what is it? at's wrong? what? what's the real problem? there isn't a problem. then let her do her job. i'm waiting for her. no, you're complaining.
dana, what the hell is going on? (sighs) i'm afraid of needles. (siren wailing in distance) good range of motion. ll, it's not gonna get me back on stage, but, uh, i'll be happy with climbing windows. honey, you mean climb the stairs. that's what i said. you should check his hearing. well, the hip seems fine. um... yeah. i would just like to get some imaging and take some blood, just to rule out infection. okay. um, take a seat for me. there is the tumor, and there are the tiny radioactive seeds... (exhales deeply) kind of like laying down a pathf bread crumbs. (clatters) okay, i've got to get back to work. um... here. a lot of patients like to keep this. do they? it reminds them of who their enemy is. hopefully,his will lead your surgeon straight to the tumor. okay, let's go.
you are. dana, i've only done about 2 dozen lumpectomies. they were all under your supervision. now, dave rothbarts at the general-- he's the king of oncoplastics. actually, i am. (sighs) yes. but you can hardly do surgery on yourself. with you acting as my hands, doing exactly what i say, i think i can. there are other surgeons. why me? because i trained you, and you're fearless with a blade. so i'll know i get a clean cut and good margins. okay. maybe with enough time and preparation, i can-- i booked the o.r. for thursday. you've got 48 hours.
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(horns honking in distance) blake. (sighs) what are you doing here? ever since i sold you on the endura-hip, we never seem to find the time to just hang out. and so i thought that maybe... we could do dinner. you ally shouldn't be looking at those. i really shouldn't have slept with you either, but i did, and it was fun. besides, paulina waived her privacy rights when she signed on to do the implant trial. and i don't see any signs of loosening or early wear. yeahthose femoral and acetabular components seem fine. yeah. hey. (p.a. tone sounds) (woman on p.a.) code blue to the coffee kiosk. we--we we heading home. she wa--she was tired and wanted a coffee. then she just dropped. okay, okay. step back, charlie. yeah. i got this. (karl) can you tell me what's going on? okay, ready? do fore and aft. here we go.
let's get her to the e.r. we'll tube her when we get the crash cart. no rushing, steady pace. (gurney clacks) let's go! let's go! (wheels clacking) that's my life going away. (sighs) yes, it is. we gave her the full resus. sorry, man. i was just danng with her. what happened? that's what i wanna know. she's 40 years old. how could this have happened? we all want answers, karl. (joel) absolutely. that's why we need you to consent to an autopsy. what are you, starting a fire?
okay. i'm gonna touch you now. mm-hmm. i don't need a play-bylay. i like to tell my patients in advance. (inhales deeply) just relax. oh, hmm. what? that's a large mass. am i squeezing too hard? no male doctor would ever ask me that. you make being considerate sound unprofessional. your attention should be on the tumor, not on the patient. (sighs) the tumor is part of the patient. all done. i want to thank you for having such faith in me. never thank anyone for wha you got by your own talent. wow. using a compliment to criticize-- i didn't think it could be done. okay, i'd like to get an m.r.i. (scoffs) waste of money. i've had more than enough imaging. well, i don't want any surprises that might affect your oncological management, or your reconstructive plan. so... (pen clicks) what's that? a standard surgical consent form.
dana... that's where i sign. you sign for the patient. (clatters) thank you. (thuds) (clacks) (clattering) (sighs) (whispers) this one. okay. oh, great. you just ruined a sterile tray. sorry. i have choreographed every move. my instruments need to be lined up in exactly this way. alex, look, i-- i know you're going through some stuff with charlie,
this has to be perfect. and it will be... on the day. when exactly is the surgery? 11:00 a.m. thursday. not in here, i mean, kinney has it booked for some mystery guest. (cell phone buzzes) i bet it's that ballplayer who broke his nose on his girlfriend's shoul-- dr. reid. what?! that's not her call to make. if alex is operating in here, then what's dana doing? aren't thesupposed to be here every morning at 10:00 a.m.? mm-hmm. can you make sure that's gonna happen for me? okay, good. thank you very much. so you canceled your blood tests? there's zero indication for b.r.c.a. gene testing. if i order a test, i order it because i think it's clinically relevant. how? i'm not of ashkenazi descent. i know the criteria. i don't have any first or second degree relatives with breast or ovarian cancer. didn't you say your mother was spanish? from galicia. okay, well, there is a founder c211a mutation that is associated with-- okay.
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if your family outing is magical for all the wrong reasons. you may be muddling through allergies. try zyrtec for powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec is different than claritin . because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. try zyrtec . muddle no more . in distance) hey. how did the celebrity photo shoot go? paulina durrell-- yeah. thballerina who was part of it-- she was the code blue. she didn't make it. what? that's horrible. what happened? i have absolutely no idea. you know, i should go to the cut now. let's talk about something else.how was your day? mm. oy. i'm a little nervous about a lumpectomy that i'm doing on thursday. that's a relatively straightforward procedure, isn't it? yes, but this particularatient is a very controlling, intimidating type. we, um... talk to dana. she's pretty good with tough patients.
thanks for coming, man. yeah, well, i know what it's like to lose a patient. what can i do? i really need another set of eyes on this. hello, blake. what you doing here? are you worried about litigation? i see you haven't lost your cynicism, charlie. yeah, any, uh, findings on cause? i believe the scientific term for this is "whoa, mama." that's a crazy big heart. yeah, the autopsy report will indicate intrinsic cardiomyopathy. and sectioning of the brain revealed neurodegeneration at a much higher rate than i'd expecfor her age. now when you were with her earlier, did she exhibit any neurological symptoms? uh, fatigue and an odd kind of aphasia. uh, she would mix up nouns. okay, any common denominator between brain and heart? blood, maybe? what would you expect the cobalt ion content of her blood to be? mm, i'm guessing maybe 1 or 2 micrograms per liter? right, well, this poor woman's was higher by a factor of 6,000. suggesting the hip implant killed her? that's a big leap, charlie.
stating a fact. th is what we suctioned out of the capsule. metallosis. right. and, uh, it didn't show up on the x-ray, but, um... see how the metal's worn down there on the ft-hand side of that? a flaw in the forging process? metal broke down... got into her bloodstream, and it poisoned her. that is exactly what i was thinking. well, that's one theory. i'm sure the metallurgists will have one, and the hematologists, yet another. there's nothing simple about putting foreign objects in the human body. so instead of jumping to conclusions, how about we get this right? (p.a. tone sounds, woman speaking indistinctly) first, i will transect the terminal ducts and separate the nipple areola complex from the underlying tissue. with what margin of normal tissue? 1 centimeter. yore certain? if i can do it in .5, i will. but maintaining the integrity of the vascular supply is my priority. and how do you excise the parenchyma? in a fusiform pattern towards the n.a.c.
what about the hemoclips? oh! right! if we don't put the hemoclips on dana's pectoralis and lateral edges, there'll be no guidance for radiation. dana, you're talking about yourself in the third person now. okay, that's it. we're done here. (sighs) you are such a great surgeon, but you are the world's worst patient. what are you still doing here? stop taking it out on everyone. you're fired. go away. listen, i know that yore worried. i am not worried. i am angry because you are not up to the job. (thuds) you're not angry, you're scared. you know what? that's why charlie left you. really? what was your husband's excuse? oh, you are so fired. this tumor is not going away because you say so, dana, and neither am i. (paper hits floor) you know, when sabian medical asked me to participate in the clinical trials...
i thought, finally we'll have a hip implant that never needs replacing. (pen clicks) this is the result. well, don't beat yourself up. everyone wants to believe in the miracle. well, you were smart enough not to get involved. (chuckles) yeah. that's only 'cause i got burned on the last miracle implant. (drawer clatters) how about a drink? um... (sighs) i really have to take this to pathology. actually, that's going with me. what do you mean, it's going with you? you know the terms of our clinical trial-- any implant removed from participants becomes the sole property of sabian medical devices. what, is that the only reason that you wanted to conduct the autopsy-- just to get your prosthesis? (sighs) if there is a design flaw here, i want to know about it, and i want to get it fixed. yeah, we all do. (chuckles) okay. but let's get some perspective here. this is just one hip-- just one failure out of 3,000 implants to date.
(engine turns off) (dog barks in distance) (doorbell rings) uh, mom, alex is here! molly... i'm surprised you remember me. yeah. hey. hi. um, i'm at sherri's until 11:00 studying french. so i will see you later. studying or meeting jason? 'cause i don't see a textbook. c'est ici, ma belle m re. good, well, study hard, because you just called me your "mother-in-law." (groans) oh. it's "tr s belle m re." yes, love you. how are you getting home? sherri's mom. god, if that skirt were any shorter,
so did i. sister valenciaga with a ruler. 2 1/2 inches above the knee, max. you're still fired, by the way. i'd quit if i wasn't. i'm making carrot and coriander soup. or leek and potato, courgette and mint. yes. (sighs) i know. i've been cooking. it helps me think. (clinks) that's a lot of thinking. mm-hmm. so, doctor... making house calls? remember the b.r.c.a. test you canceled? mm-hmm. the one that saved the hospital $3,000-- at about it? well, i guess they didn't get the facts because they sent me the results. oh. (pot lid clatters) it's come back positive. which means the risk of a recurrence of breast cancer is... (slams pot lid shut) 80%, yes. i know the prognosis. not great odds. (chopping) so they'll have to come off. hmm? well, i-i think that's a little hasty.
there may be no ne for a double mastectomy. off! and the ovaries, too. just take 'em out. (chopping continues) never underestimate the power of energizer. our longest lasting energizer max ever. with the pain and swelling of my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis... ordinary objects often seemed... intimidating. doing something simple... meant enduring a lot of pain. if ra is changing your view of everyday things orencia may help.
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i was gonna tell him at the recital. see, i startedhi teacng this class-- young kids... having their first recital thursday. i thought maybe you could go. be me. and wear a tutu? no, thank you. no. see, before the kids go on stage, we have this secret ritual. they can't dance without it. you know, my, um... fianc\e-- or i guess, ex-fianc\e-- took me to a ballet once. (sighs) and i fell asleep.
of the recurrence of cancer when you can take control? (cork pops but is a double mastectomy the right way? i'm all or nothing kind of gal. but you want to keep your nipples? definitely. (bottle thuds) losing them reduces the risk of recurrence to 1%. (sighs) where the hell is that pizza? ugh, i don't know. i mean, after two bowls of soup, i'm stuffed. wait till you see our delivery guy. (chuckles) you're drunk. (doorbell rings) (clinks) (cell phone buzzes) (chuckles) how are you? (man) i'm well. how are you? hi. well, i'm having a crap day. how about you? i'm over at dana's. oh... (chuckles) stop. yeah, my spies told me that. how is she taking it? i think she's pretty much in denial. extra special topping... listen, i was thinking about that, uh, that time you took me to the ballet. and i just wanted to tell you that i'm sorry...
i'm sorry for spoiling it because i fell asleep. charlie... you can't do this. you can't just call me. i know. anyways, you got it backwards, like you do everything. i'm the one who worked the triple shift. i fell asleep. you stayed awake. you loved it. (sniffs) (dana, chuckles) that's strong. i gotta go. have a good evening. yes. (footsteps depart) (laughing) i just scored some pot and a pizza. (laughter) whoo! (box thuds) let's go skinny dipping. (chuckles) you are officially out of control. good! because i'm ck and tired of being in control. i've been in control my entire life.
i'm passed over for chief, my husband has left me for his secretary, and i am paying him alimony. i'm a single mother with breast cancer... who's terrified that she's never gonna live to see her daughter grow up. (whispers) dana. (sobs and inhales sharply) sorry, i don't mean to get maudlin, i-- it's okay. it's just... (sighs) remember how we used to pray for these when we were kids? and then somehow we forget, right? we-- we just take them for granted, but they are so useful... and pretty... and they feed babies. fun for the whole family. (sighs) girls... (inhales deeply) it's been grt. to the pointer sisters. (clink) so i appreciate you coming in at the last minute.
i'm just gonna examine your range of motion. has it ever given out on you? very, very impressive, mate. uh, how about we get you down to the lab, check out your blood, just to, uh, be safe? (sighs) that's it. just walk. (exhales deeply) i hate to put you through it again. um... this hip has to come out. it's my anniversary next month. i promised my wife we'd go dancing. well, how about i do it this thursday? (sighs) i'll replace it with a ceramic. (p.a. tone sounds) (woman speaking indistinctly on p.a.)
(grunts) you said you had some sort of secret magic ritual for your dancers for this recital thingy. i'm not about to tell you if you're not going. but it's--it's only magic that you can do. or my emissary. me talking to dancers is stranger than me talking to you. (chuckles) tell me what to say. you'll know what to say. no leotards, right? mnh-mnh. i'll dit. thank you. (whispers) whoa! ah, shoot! (chuckles)
(dog barking in distance) (exhales sharply) okay. let's go! let's go! (doorknob rattles) ah, come on. don't tell me we're locked out. oh! no, no, no, no, no, no, there's a key around here someplace. unbelievable. oh, come on. you had a blast. you cannonballing into that pool-- that's the most fun you've had since this whole charlie thing. mm, you don't need to hear my sad little story. no, i need to pee. pee in a bush. (whispers) okay. (wine sloshing in bottle) where's the key? (vehicle approaches, siren whoops) oh, this is not good. oh. (car door closes) i've got this. okay. (male officer) evening, ladies. evening, officer. i had a call-- two naked trespassers. (police radio chatter) she said we were allowed to. well-- you said we were allowed to. actually... (chuckles, blows raspberry) okay, okay. officer, we are not trespassers. we're actually doctors. you want a tummy tuck? i'm your gal.
great. let's go with that. okay. can you tell me your address? oh! here it is. shoot. empty. officer, if you could just let us in, she'll be able to prove that she lives... (glass breaks) (radio chatter continues) okay. (handle clicks, glass shatters) ooh! we're good to go. no! i was just-- just please-- hands on the hood! both of you. (laughs) (whispers) this is serious. i know. (blows raspberry) ooh, hey. don't make this a love story. okay. okay, okay-- anything in your pockets that cou hurt me? oh--oh. play the card. no. ye if there was ever a time to play the card, it's now. (static, radio chatter) officer? yeah, um... i-i have cancer, and so that's medicinal... for chemo. i almost have a prescription. and she's writing me one. i'm her doctor.
thanks for calling. hey, i need to bring you up to speed. i called in all of our mutual patients. um, and i... you should take a look at what i discovered. (purse thuds) what are those cloudy bits right there? my guess is they are pseudo-cysts. they are little pieces of metal that have broken away from the implant. the immune system sort of... contains them in the soft tissue. and, um... it's kind of like an oyster makes a pearl out of a grain of sand. except these pearls mean my product is worthless. look, if it was only paulina's hip that had failed, then i'd tell you this is an outlier, but... to--to have 3 faulty hips out of 2 dozen-- suggests a catastrophic design failure. (alcohol pouring) it certainly destroys your chance of f.d.a. approval, yeah. mind you, the trouble may not be with the product. it may just be the surgeon.