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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 22, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i hope you had a good weekend. i tell you something, i had a weird thing happen to me last night. i was on the phone, which is weird for me to start. i don't talk on the phone much. pacing around the kitchen. when i'm on the phone i pace like a rat in some kind of a habit trail. i pace and i eat. i don't think about it, i eat it. i ate a banana, ate peanut butter, got another banana, put peanut but over that. i spotted mints on the counter. i shook one out and ate it. put a few in my mouth. it tasted not so great. i looked at the container, they
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chewable bonene, the sea sickness medication. i ate like six of them. i ate so many i could go on a teacup ride on the high seas and i wouldn't feel a thing. it's a good lesson, look at things before you eat them. speaking of nauseating circumstances, the race for president is starting to get down to it. on saturday there was a republican primary and democratic caucuses. hillary clinton edged out bernie sanders in nevada. she won by 5 points thanks to a key last-minute endorsement from the blue man group that took her over the top. on the republican side donald trump won south carolina by a wide margin, by 10 points. and for me the real takeaway was that this could be our next first lady of the united states. >> just wanted to say an amazing place, south carolina. congratulation to my husband. he was working very hard. and he loves you.
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and we going ahead to nevada. and we will see what happened. he will be the best president. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: of what country? [ cheers and applause ] how good is this unexpected -- i don't know where she's been hiding but we want more melania. meanwhile jeb bush is done. on saturday night after finishing fourth in south carolina, jeb finally put himself out of his misery and dropped out of the race. >> the people of iowa and new hampshire and south carolina have spoken and i really respect their decision. so tonight i am suspending my campaign. >> no! >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: quite a reaction. one lady says no, no! it was probably his wife. [ laughter ] how could this happen? you'd think after his mom endorsed him he would have been right on top but no. poor jeb, he was supposed to win
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won, he raised huge amounts of money, he spent $130 million for nothing. he could have made half a "star wars" movie that only he could see. but the writing was on the wall. this is one of jeb's final moments as a candidate. >> governor bush, thank you very much. >> thank you, guys. >> thank you. >> i go out this way? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: that's the question he should have asked nine months ago, i go out this way? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: be free, jeb, run and play. i was thinking about today, is there any chance jeb bush will vote for donald trump? i know he's a republican. but if it comes down to -- he's voting for hillary guaranteed. [ laughter ] in a way, if you think about it, the race for president is not so different from "the bachelor" in that every week someone is forced to go home. earlier tonight on abc, bachelor
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three women and ben carson, he's still hanging in there. but this week was hometown date week. hometown dates are a magical moment when the bachelor gets a chance to look into a father's eyes and say, sir, i care about -- your daughter as well as the three other daughters i'm currently making out with on helicopters. but it's easy to get caught up. as if this is all normal or acceptable. but it isn't. and sometimes you have to stop and say what hell is going on? this was a pretty excellent exchange between jojo and her mom tonight. >> i'm falling in love with him and i'm so scared, mom, i'm so scared. i just don't want to get hurt. >> you're not going to get hurt, you're beautiful. >> i know but i'm just like -- it's so hard for me. i didn't know if i was going to be able to like open myself up again after my last relationship. >> but you did. and he was right by next to you, right? >> yeah, mom, i'm just -- it's like it's hard, it's scary.
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>> oh. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. does she not know how the show works? jojo has quite a family by the way. we got to meet her brothers tonight, who were very, very affectionate to say the least. >> come here! there you go! >> say hi to ben! >> jimmy: oh my god. take it to the fantasy suite, will you? her brothers are more into her than ben is. [ laughter ] by far my favorite -- the top moment of tonight was when jojo's mom -- watch how she handles this very tense moment between ben and one of jojo's creepy brothers. >> she's obviously starting to have real emotional feelings.
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same read -- >> jimmy: right out of the bottle. did anyone notice? okay, so there was a lot of the drama on tonight's show. for those who missed it it's time to break it down emoji style, "the bachelor in emojis," here we go. tonight it went like this. ben went on his first hometown date with amanda. she's the one with two kids who sounds like a mouse. they went to the beach and made an octopus in the sand. then ben met lauraby's camly and kayla's family and that was kind of boring. except for the fact that kayla's mom wears adult braces. for the last hometown date ben flew to texas to meet jojo's family. her brothers as we saw hated ben. when no one was looking as we saw jojo's momming too a swig
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at the rose ceremony ben sent amanda, the one with the mouse voice, home. amanda then cried in the car. ben cried in the house. like a baby. quite a while he cried. but that's all okay because next week he gets to have sex with all three remaining women. [ cheers and applause ] and that is your bachelor emoji week. by the way, i feel compelled to mention at the beginning of the season, the beginning of the year, i picked three women to make it to the finals. i picked jojo, lauren and kayla. guess who the final three are? jojo, lauren and kayla. [ cheers and applause ] that is why they call me nostradamus. sunday night we have the 88th annual oscars. we have a show after the oscars. a lot of great independent movies nominated for best
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the bigger commercial hits were overlooked. one of the critically acclaimed hits that failed to get a best picture nod was "straight outta compton," a movie i like very much, the story of the rap group nwa. very good but also very r-rated. in an effort to create a family-friendly version we can show on tv, we took the audio from "straight outta compton" and combined it with video from "alvin and the chipmunks" and the result is this. >> no person shall disturb the peace by participating or abetting in any rude or violent conduct. note also the performance of the song "f the police" will not be permitted. >> are we finished here? we got a show to do. >> yo, dre. >> what up?
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[ bleep ] the police [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when we come back we have a live camera on a roller coaster at disney. we're going to have some fun with that. a bankruptcy judge is asking 50 cent why he's posing with big stacks of money on instagram when he's bankrupt. it's a really good question. stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] (vo) making the most out of every mile. that's why i got a subaru impreza. love. it's what makes a subaru,
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight - mash-up monday music is on the way. first you may know 50 cent who is a rapper, actor, entrepreneur, he's having money problems.
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so he filed for bankruptcy in july. he's reportedly in debt to the tune of around $30 million. but he's been posting pick tours on unsta gram with massive piles of cash. he spelled the word "broke" out in stacks of 100-dollar bills. now a judge is ordering him to appear in court to explain why, for instance, he's in a bed of money. sweet pillows by the way. he wants him to explain why he's got a coffee table made of money. and this one, this is my favorite, is why he's eating a money sandwich. maybe he doesn't have any money because he ate it all. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] in any event he's got to stop partying like it's his birthday. live to california adventure disneyland resort, celebrating its 60th anniversary. [ cheers and applause ] we all are, really. and the they have a big roller
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screaming which we are live at now. we have two riders standing by. hello, this is jimmy kimmel. i know you can't see me. but we can see you. and we can hear you. can you hear me? >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> good, good. >> jimmy: are your names? >> i'm -- call me miss fam. >> jimmy: where are you from, sean and miss fam? >> huntington beach. >> jimmy: have you ridden this before, california screaming? >> no. >> no, never in my life a roller coaster. my first roller coaster. >> jimmy: you've never been on a roller coaster? whoa. >> no. >> jimmy: i should have got you six bonene. do you know how to play 20 questions, are you familiar with that game? >> jimmy: good. in the seat behind you, you can't turn around, there's a celebrity's face.
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try to guess who that celebrity is before the ride is over. you can ask me any yes or no question. and you can guess a name, i'll tell you yes or no if it's right. >> oh my god! i'm going to die -- >> jimmy: if you get it right you'll win a prize. this is not the bad part yet, are you ready? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, you can begin. ask questions. >> male or female? >> jimmy: you have to ask a yes or no question -- >> male? >> jimmy: yes, male. >> oh my god -- aahh! [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: over 20? . >> is he an actor? >> jimmy: he is an actor, yes. >> ben affleck? >> jimmy: no. >> matt damon. >> jimmy: no, not matt damon. >> is he african?
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african-american. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: yeah, you think it it's over now but it really isn't. it's just about to begin. you're enjoying your first roller coaster ride? >> aahhh! >> jimmy: all right, keep guessing. you have any questions? >> hell no. aahh! >> oh man! >> jimmy: your wife is of no help at all. you haven't asked one question. >> my brain's queasy right now. >> jimmy: do you have any other guesses? >> oh, oh -- >> jimmy: ask me if he's nominated for an academy award. >> [ bleep ] -- [ bleep ] -- >> jimmy: is it you? >> no, no, it's not me.
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>> jimmy: it's an actor. ask me if he's -- oh, boy. >> oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. >> jimmy: it is not god, no, it isn't him. >> is it 50 cent? >> jimmy: no. >> is he american? >> jimmy: yeah. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: the ride's not over. you've still got a little bit of time. about 30 seconds left. >> are you kidding me? no, no! >> jimmy: help him out for god's sake. you're going two miles an hour. >> [ bleep ]. >> ben affleck? >> jimmy: no, it is not ben affleck. >> no, it's not ben affleck. >> jimmy: matt damon? >> no, it's still not matt damon. the ride is over. one of you guys turn around. look behind you and you can see who it was. >> i love him! oh my gosh. >> jimmy: hold on one second, hold on one second.
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why didn't you tell him while we were on the ride? >> because i was screaming my head off. >> jimmy: all right. well, i'm sorry you didn't win but we have consolation churros for you. you guys want to go on one more time? >> hell no. >> jimmy: all right. and a turkey leg for you. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight it's matchup monday with kcee-lo and the sunshine band - from "crazy ex-girlfriend" rachel bloom is here. and we'll be right back with aaron paul. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by la-la yogurt smoothies. yogurting, practice it on the go. its sleek design... is mold-breaking. its intelligent drive systems... paradigm-shifting. its technology-filled cabin...jaw-dropping. its performance...breathtaking.
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we think church is more than a place to go on sunday. we think church can happen anywhere. church happened in 1968 when a call-in radio show encouraged cross-racial dialogue and inspired reconciliation. and it happens today when respectful conversations lead to greater understanding. putting our beliefs into action, that's what it means to rethink church. the people of the united methodist church invite you to join us in working to create a world free from racism. visit us at rethinkchurch.org since 1961, pearle vision has provided the neighborhood with expert eye care. that was dr. stanley pearle's vision
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today, doctors like lisa hamilton perform eye exams that can help detect diabetes. because we care for you... and your eyes. this is genuine eye care, in your neighborhood. this is pearle vision. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, a golden globe winner. from the show "crazy ex-girlfriend" - the crazy ex-girlfriend herself - rachel bloom is here. then - it's mash-up monday - kc and the sunshine band team up with cee lo to form as kcee-lo and the sunshine band - from the samsung stage. tomorrow - from grey's anatomy, ellen pompeo. from "the walking dead" norman reedus. we'll have music from yo gotti featuring travis barker. and later this week -
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billy brown - with music from wolfmother and tinashe and snakehips with chance the rapper. hold on, i need to take a drink out of my mug, my new mug. [ cheers and applause ] in case you're wondering why this is exciting, we learned tonight apparently talk show hosts from other countries it's a lesson that -- [ cheers and applause ] -- that i was not aware of, that that was the thing to do. sunday night the oscars return to abc - and for the 11th straight year - our annual post-show - "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars." we have a great big show in the works - with ben affleck, tracy morgan, j.k. simmons, mike tyson, matthew broderick, nathan lane, henry cavill, jesse eisenberg - and many more mysteries will be revealed. join us after the oscars. our first guest is the youngest
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bad" - starting friday, crime pays again in the new bank robber movie, "triple 9." please say hello to aaron paul. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: how's it going? >> good, man. you are looking good. >> jimmy: you look really good. >> really nice. >> jimmy: what, my face? >> yeah, your face, the beard, the hair, everything. >> jimmy: it covers up a lot of flaws. thank you. >> don't i know it. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> doing great. >> jimmy: how's life? >> life is good. >> jimmy: you were a roller coaster guy? >> that was the greatest, greatest segment ever. that woman was just losing her mind. >> jimmy: it was -- the best at the end of the ride after making
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her husband, "i told you!" >> i knew it! yeah, yeah, so funny. >> jimmy: didn't you and your wife -- did you meet on a roller -- something like that? >> pretty much yeah. [ laughter ] no, we had our first kiss on a ferris wheel at coachella. awww! yeah. we had our first kiss there. and so we love carnival rides. we went on a carnival ride not that long ago called the zipper. we all know it. >> jimmy: which one is that? >> it feels like you're getting in a car wreck. you know, when i was a kid i thought it was great. and lauren and i were like, let's do this! we went on it. the moment they buckle you in with that janky metal belt? all of a sudden it starts violently throwing you around. i honestly -- we were drinking quite a bit that day. but i felt like i was going to
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much different than the ferris wheel, yeah. >> jimmy: you are from idaho. you grew up there. you still have a home there? >> we do, yeah. really great. you did this with "breaking bad." now with this movie coming out. you have like an event for the people back home. >> yeah, yeah. i go back and -- this is the second time i've done it. we rent out the oldest theater in idaho, the egyptian, downtown boise. tickets to, you know, just the locals. a lot of the tickets are given away by a scavenger hunt. then i tweet out the locations. >> jimmy: right. and then people come racing to try to find the tickets. >> yeah, it's great. >> jimmy: potentially killing themselves, knocking -- at least banging heads. >> yeah, it actually gets pretty violent. in a comical way. last time i did it for "breaking
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we hid tickets behind a row of funions at cbs. >> jimmy: great. >> i tweeted the location. then i started getting pictures of that aisle and it was just -- a [ bleep ] show. it's like a tornado had gone in there. and destroyed it. you see employees just sad. looking at what they had to clean up. yeah. i've learned from my mistakes. >> jimmy: you have. things will be put in -- >> in non-funion aisles. >> do you have friends there? >> hide it inside their bedroom or something yeah. that's a good idea. >> jimmy: toaster oven, tweet the location. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so this is something that somebody did when i was a kid, not the tweeting part -- >> no, growing up in idaho i heard about this premiere happening at the egyptian. and i just went down there to see what it was, what was going on. george clooney and michelle pfeiffer were there, they're the first celebrities i'd ever seen.
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long time. michael hoffman, the director of this film he did with them in it, held this thing at the egyptian. >> jimmy: because he was from that area? >> because he loves idaho and he wanted to do a thing up there. i figured out where the after party was, i was standing outside, watching people enjoy themselves with michelle pfeiffer and george clooney. i wanted to sneak in. michael hoffman came walking out and he gave me, the director of the film, he gave me the tickets for the party and let me go in. >> jimmy: wow. pretty crazy. >> i used to sneak in here all the time. >> jimmy: i know. have you seen him since then? >> no. >> jimmy: he doesn't realize that? >> yeah, no. >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. >> yeah, yeah. it was a good time. >> jimmy: that is pretty great. by the way, i wanted to mention another prank you're involved in. >> yeah. >> jimmy: because of "breaking bad," the way it ended, i won't specifically say in case people are still watching it. jesse pinkman, your character, people wonder will we see him again? will there be another series? >> yeah.
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so you did something -- >> people kept asking, when is season six of "breaking bad" coming out? that hoax kept like resurfacing throughout the years. and i decided to pull a prank, which was terrible on periscope. saying, hey, everybody, vince gilligan, creator of "breaking bad," left it up to me to let you know that there is in fact going to be a jesse pinkman spinoff. and i'm watching the comments come in as i'm saying this. everyone's super excited. and they don't stick around for my conclusion of the story, letting them know that it's a prank. then it went viral. and everyone thought it was actually happening. but it's not happening. and i just felt like a [ bleep ]. so yeah, it's not happening. >> jimmy: sounds like maybe your phone should be taken away from you. >> probably. >> jimmy: aaron paul, the new
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we'll be right back!
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mike is pissed. mike's still mike. franco? hey. do we got to worry about that? >> coff, look after coff. >> jimmy: aaron paul, "triple 9" opens in theaters friday. i like that movie, that's a good one. >> super happy. dark. yeah i love it. >> jimmy: was that fun to make? to play -- i won't say what you play, really. but really, you're playing cops and robbers. >> yeah, it's the biggest form of cops and robbers possible, it
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>> great cast. >> jimmy: woody harrelson, kate winslet, casey of a fleck. >> yeah, great cast. >> jimmy: did you hang, spend must have time -- >> we did. woody i had not met before. >> jimmy: you hadn't, okay. >> no, and i love that man so much. i'm actually in my trailer watching on this film, i'm watching "out of the furnace." it's the most intense, darkest movie you could possibly watch. woody just plays an absolute psychopath. i get a knock on the door. i pause the tv. and it's of woody just screaming, making a psychotic face. and i answer the door and it's woody. you know, and just -- cargo pants, flip-flops and a hawaiian shirt. just being woody. super happy. cannot stop smiling.
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i say yes. he comes in. he's just giving me nothing but love. saying, "my god, i love you so much, you're so great, breaking bad is so fantastic." i'm looking at woody, then i'm looking at the tv paused on his face, just screaming. and he's looking around. he sees himself screaming. and he looks back at me. i'm like, i'm sorry, i'm not a stalker weird guy. i just happened to be watching your film, then you knocked and i paused. and this is weird. but yeah he's great. >> jimmy: don't worry, he's forgotten it already. it's already wiped clean i'm sure [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you have a television show on hulu. >> on hulu, yeah. >> jimmy: that's a big deal, your first television show after "breaking bad." >> yeah, you know, i was just spoiled with "breaking bad." it's just such great television
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so i knew jumping back into tv it had to be something special. and this is just that. i'm very excited for people. >> jimmy: what is the name of the show? >> it's called "the path." >> jimmy: what is the idea of the show? >> it follows a family around that is in the center of a very -- kind of crazy religious movement that's being followed by the fbi. i play a husband, father of two, that is in this movement. and that's kind of premise. >> jimmy: do you have a great haircut like you do in this movie? that looks like you got it at supercuts in boise or something. >> yeah, yeah nothing against supercuts or boise. >> jimmy: it's a hell of a look. >> it's a little bit different. the look in "triple 9" -- my wife loved it >> jimmy: did she really? was that your own hair? >> no. >> jimmy: no, it wasn't. >> no, you know -- >> jimmy: whose was it? >> i have no idea. i think it was some sort of
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but six hours to put that hair in. >> jimmy: every day? >> no, no, no, no. thank god. no, no. six hours to put it in, then throughout the next four months i would leave some of it wherever i went. >> jimmy: you shed? yeah. >> jimmy: it's good to see you. have fun at your big premiere. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: in boise wednesday night. the movie comes out friday. it's called "triple 9." aaron paul, everybody. we'll be right back with rachel bloom! so my kids don't have to forage, got two jobs to pay a mortgage, and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap. i'll be working while you sleep. still don't think i've got a brain? you think a resume's enough? who'll step up when things get tough? don't you want that kind of brain? a degree is a degree.
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>> jimmy: hello there. we're back. still to come, music from kcloo and the sunshine band. our next guest won a golden globe for her performance as a lawyer who stalks an ex- boyfriend she met at camp. the show is called "crazy ex-girlfriend." watch it mondays at 8:00 on the cw network, please say hello to rachel bloom.
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rachel, i feel like i know you because there was a huge billboard of you right across the street from us. >> oh yeah. >> jimmy: you would watch us as we came into work and left every morning. >> they let me install cameras in each of the eyes so i really was watching you. yeah. >> jimmy: your show is very funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i have to say it's not the kind of thing if it was described to me i would ever consider watching. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's so good. it's so funny. and you won a golden globe for >> i did. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so for those who have not seen the show yet explain what the crazy part is of the crazy ex-girlfriend. >> it's about -- when we were pitching the show we call the it ally mcbeal meets flight of the sell the show. it's a show about a very unhappy person who's spent her life
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she's about to get a big promotion at a law firm. in that moment she's kind of having a crisis. she doesn't know what to do. she runs into her summer camp ex-boyfriend from when she was a teenager, josh chan. she's so overwhelmed with that feeling of love she decides the solution to all her problems is to follow him to where he lives, which is a place called west covina. >> jimmy: why west covina specifically? >> well, you know, it's a couple of things. first of all the name is great. we knew we wanted to do a fish out of water story but there have been so -- so much media about a fish out of water story that takes place in new jersey, an unnamed midwest place. the great thing about southern california is it's so diverse. but like full of chain restaurants. we like to say it's people of all different cultures going to you know? and the other thing is i grew up in southern california. and i was desperately in love
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town right next to west covina. i would try to find excuses to go to the san gabriel valley. i'd be like, i want to go there, there's a cool band playing in a library. >> jimmy: you would hope to run into him? >> yeah, because when you love someone the most unremarkable eden. so that's what we wanted, to do this homage to mundane suburbia. and that's why the show is a musical. because everything in her eyes is just very, very, very dramatic and it's the most mundane moments. he texts her once and it's a musical number. >> jimmy: where did you grow up here? >> i grooup in manhattan beach. >> jimmy: that's a good place to grow up. >> it is. i can't believe it because everyone there's so chill and i'm not. as you can see. i always like to say being depressed in southern california kind of felt like it was illegal. like everyone's super happy. but yeah, it's a beautiful place. >> jimmy: what did your parents do for a living? >> my mother is a musician.
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and my father, also still with us, is a health care lawyer, which to this day i don't know what that means. i feel like that's -- if someone out there knows what their dad does for a living you can explain it. >> jimmy: it took me 25 years to figure it out. when i did i was bored. >> yes, so bored. so bored. no idea. yeah, my parent -- the thing that i love about my parents is we're all like disneyland freaks. >> jimmy: really? >> i grew up with a year-long pass to disneyland which is why i loved that roller coaster segment. i had my first existential crisis on the haunted mansion. >> jimmy: what? >> i was on the haunted mansion and there were ghosts all around me and i was like, this is so funny, we're making fun of death! which is inevitable! ha ha ha ha ha! i'm 12 with my parents and my
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going to die? and the ride's making fun of it like it's funny? like it's funny because it's true and you're going to end and aim going to end, isn't that hilarious? and she's like, yeah, i guess. i never saw her again. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are -- not only the star, you're the executive producer of the show and the creator of the show. is that -- do you like that part of the job? are there perks that come along with that that you enjoy or hate or responsibilities that you do not like? because you have to understand -- a year ago i thought i didn't have a show because my show was with a dead. this happened in a quick amount of time, my show was ordered to series, then boom, i'm the executive producer of something. it happened very quickly for me and my friends. so when i went into production for the show i put up one of those fancy e-mail away messages that was like, hi, i'm in production for "crazy ex-girlfriend," if i don't get
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britney at the office. >> jimmy: strong move. >> very, very strong move. it sounds so douchy. it looks douchy and sounds daughter do you remembery. >> jimmy: it does. >> but it's necessary. oh yeah. i'm a complete douche bag. so there was an e-mail chain going on with my friends in new york. for this like -- we were going to this cabin and i couldn't make it. i was on this big e-mail chain. every time someone would send an e-mail in the chain they would get an automatic message back. hi, i can't make it, he's contact britney. this is a week into production, britney, who's lovely, who i barely know at this point, gets an e-mail from one of my friends saying, hi, britney. as discussed, rachel, here's the person to nut sack matching challenge that she commissioned. apparently they were all at this vacation house that i couldn't make and all of my friends drunkenly took pictures of their balls and sent it to britney in the office.
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>> we're talking about five sets of testicles, guys. five sets of testicles. >> and why? >> why? why? why, why, why do we die, why is the sky blue? i have no idea. so first of all these friends are my husband's friends that i have now adopted. >> i see. >> my us was mortified. he e-mailed britney, please don't sue us. but i took this e-mail seriously. and basically what they had done is, this is so gross, they were wasted. and they cut a hole in a trader joe's paper bag and then shoved their balls through it. and wrote the words "guess deez nuts." and here's the thing. i was 0 for 5. >> jimmy: oh, 0 for 10, really. [ laughter ] you're in enough trouble with the e-mail response. >> oh yeah. here's the thing i learned.
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balls are long and silly, those belong to my tall and silly friend. no. the long and silly balls belong to my friend who's an army vet. so the thing that i learned is your balls do not match your personality. >> jimmy: yeah that's a great lesson for kids. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rachel bloom, everybody. "crazy ex-girlfriend" mondays on cw. we'll be right back with kcee-lo and the sunshine band! >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: thanks to aaron paul, thanks to rachel bloom. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first it's mashup monday. here with the songs "get down tonight" and "bright lights, bigger city" kceelo & the sunshine band.
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ladies and gentlemen you have myself cee lo green and the legend kc and the sunshine band are you ready to party! baby baby let's get together honey honey me and you and do the things ah - do the things that we like to do oh do a little dance make a little love get down tonight get down tonight do a little dance make a little love get down tonight get down tonight i been living for the weekend but no not anymore cause here comes that familiar feeling that fridays famous for yeah i'm looking for some action and it's out there somewhere you can feel the electricity
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and it may just be more of the same but sometimes you wanna go where everyone knows your name so i guess i'll have but i'm just gonna let something brand new happen to me and it's alright it's allright it's allright it's alright bright lights and the big city it belongs to us tonight tonight tonight oh do a little dance make a little love get down tonight whoo get down tonight hey do a little dance make a little love get down tonight get down tonight baby and it's allright it's all right it's all right
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it's alright bright lights and the big city it belongs to us tonight tonight tonight get down get down get down get down - get down tonight baby bright lights bright lights get down get down get down get down get down tonight baby bright lights bright lights get down get down get down get down get down tonight baby bright lights bright lights get down get down
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it's all right this is "nightline." >> tonight, caution on craigslist. a young woman left in a coma after an alleged roommate attack. >> when they found her, barely breathing. >> the risk behind the screen. >> the internet has been great but it also provides another avenue for bad guys to make us victims. >> can connecting on craigs list sometimes lead to tragic consequences? >> she broke the bottle over my head then stabbed it into my head. "black-ish" has confronted controversial topics before. >> i don't get what the big deal is, my friends use the "n" word all the time. >> which friends? >> now tackling police brutality. on set with the actors who are hoping to make viewers laugh and inspire conversations about
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>> it's liberating to be part of something that's relevant. >> first the "nightline 5." >> when heartburn hits fight back fast. tums smoothies start dissolving the instant it touches your tongue and neutralizes stomach acid at the source. smoothies only from tums. come on and do it come on let's go >> number one in just 60 seconds. sometimes we use k-y ultragel to enhance my body's natural moisture so i can get into it a bit quicker. and when i know she's into it, i get into it and... feel the difference with k-y ultragel. i do everything on the internet. but, it's kind of slow. my friends say i should get fios because it's the fastest.

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