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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  January 23, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST

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>> jimmy: oh, my gosh! you are like a genius. oh, i love her right there. lilly singh is the winner, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] that's the fastest "fast family feud" ever. we'll be right back with music from st. lucia, everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] the all-new tacoma.
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we were below the 88th southern parallel. we had traveled for over 850 miles. my men driven nearly mad from starvation and frostbite. today we make history. >>bienvenidos! welcome to the south pole! if you're dora the explorer, you explore. it's what you do. >>what took you so long? if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. >>you did it, yay! you get a cold. you can't breathe through your nose. suddenly, you're a mouthbreather. well, just put on a breathe right strip which instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than cold medicine alone.
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breathe right dear, why don't we switch to directv? now mother, we are settlers. i've settled for cable all my life. but directv has been number one in customer satisfaction over cable for 15 years. we find our satisfaction elsewhere. the boy has his stick and hoop. the girl - her faceless doll. and you have your cabbages. and you...have your foot stomping. i sure do. (vo) don't be a settler. get rid of cable and upgrade to directv.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our musical guest tonight are out with their sophomore album "matter" on january 29th. performing "dancing on glass," give it up for st. lucia! [ cheers and applause ]
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will tell us so the blood in our veins are just chemicals better believe i keep my demons to myself better believe it's getting harder but i'm never gonna stop until it's brokeke never gonna stop until it's broken how long 'til we learn dancing is dangerous how long 'til we find the devil inside of us how high is too low we're not that young so we're never gonna stop never gonna stop never gonna stop until we break it dancing on glass dancing on glass
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our secrets know our violence mistaken for silence, oh better believe i keep my reasons to myself better believe it's never been easier and never gonna stop until it's broken never gonna stop until it's broken how long 'til we learn dancing is dangerous how long 'til we find the devil inside of us how high is too low we're not that young so we're never gonna stop never gonna stop never gonna stop until we break it dancing on glass
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dancing on glass dancing on glass how long 'til we learn dancing is dangerous how long 'til we find the devil inside of us how high is too low we're not that young so we're never gonna stop never gonna stop never gonna stop until we break it how long 'til we learn dancing is dangerous how long 'til we find the devil inside of us how high is too low we're not that young so we're never gonna stop never gonna stop never gonna stop until we break it
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dancing on glass dancing on glass dancing on glass [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. oh, my goodness. i new i was like, oh, come on! st. lucia! catch them on tour starting next week.
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[ cheers and applause ] thousands of people came out today to run the race for retirement. so we asked them... are you completely prepared for retirement? okay, mostly prepared? could you save 1% more of your income? it doesn't sound like much, but saving an additional 1% now,
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i'm going to be even better about saving. you can do it, it helps in the long run. prudential
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to jeff daniels, lilly singh, st. lucia. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers."
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have a great weekend. hope to see you next week. bye-bye.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- rashida jones. from "kocktails with khloe," khloe kardashian. star of "crazy ex-girlfriend," golden globe-winner, rachel bloom. featuring the 8g band with glenn kotchie. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doin' tonight? [ cheers and applause ] well, isn't that wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. earlier tonight, there was another republican debate, and this morning, the oscar nominations were announced.
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"the big short." "bridge of spies." "the revenant." "the martian" and "mad max fury road." [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] why are you so mad? why are you so mad, max? that's right, oscar nominations were announced today and sylvester stallone is up for best supporting actor. stallone said today, that it was an honor to be nominated. or he said it's an awkward denominator. [ laughter ] impossible to know. [ mumbling ] [ laughter ] [ stallone impression ] live a long life and do a lot of movies and then, you know, the people from the oscars call up and say, hey, we got good news for you. i say, what's the news? [ mumbling ] it's an awkward denominator.
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[ cheers and applause ] donald trump said this week that his high poll numbers in massachusetts are due to his support from patriots' quarterback tom brady. man, what is it with tom brady and deflated leather balls? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's like he has a thing for them. a new poll shows that in the last month, hillary clinton's lead in iowa has shrunk from 9% to 2%. meanwhile, her fake smile has grown 200%. [ laughter ] what are the most recent polls? that is wonderful! [ light laughter ] wonderful news! jeb bush has released a new ad showing clips of mean things donald trump has said on the campaign trail. he also released his new campaign slogan "i'm telling!" [ laughter ] ou're mean, and i'm telling everybody!" [ laughter ] there's a new video out showing jeb bush interacting with an
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and the former governor seemed shocked the watch can talk. to which the watch replied, "i felt the same way about you!" [ light laughter ] "i'm telling!" [ laughter ] a new york man appeared in court yesterday on charges that he exposed himself on a subway platform, and asked a woman, quote, "can i masturbate to you?" that's horrible. it should be, "may i masturbate to you?" we're not animals. this is a civil society. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] smattering of applause from the polite masturbators in the audience. [ laughter and applause ] absolutely! [ cheers and applause ] yeah! i also say, "m'lady." [ light laughter ] a group in colorado has set a new world record for largest sticker ball after combining enough decals to create a nearly
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proves one thing. weed is definitely legal in colorado. [ laughter ] dude, you know what we should do? what? sticker ball. [ laughter ] hey, dad. get ready to be proud of me. [ laughter ] and finally, a woman was arrested at an atlanta area waffle house for assaulting another customer, breaking a window and then stripping naked in the restaurant. or as it's known at the waffle house, "dinner and a show!" [ laughter ] we have a fantastic -- [ cheers and applause ] man, oh, man. such a fantastic show tonight. we have a great lineup of guests, but we also -- we have a surprise guest. and i'm so happy he's here, i can't believe he's here. fresh off his interview with sean penn and his recent recapture, please welcome to the
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[ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> seth: i am -- thank you so much for being here, el chapo. >> hola! [ laughter ] buenos dias. >> seth: i mean, i can't believe you're here. thank you for being here. >> this is very good to be here. >> seth: i mean, we were just -- we were just so excited when you agreed to come on the show. >> well, you know, after my interview with sean penn, , started thinking, i should do more press, you know, promote my projects. [ laughter ] tell anecdotes, you know, wear fun shirts, let people know that i'm not a bad guy, you know. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, yeah. well, i'm glad, you know, and i'm so glad you chose to come
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just came out that you didn't actually know who sean penn was before the interview. is that true? >> si, si. [ laughter ] my lawyer called and he said, "sean penn wants to meet." i say -- [ speaking spanish ] he say "he's a actor." i say, "what movies has he been in." he said, "tu sabes fast time at ridgemont high?" i said, no. he say, "tu sabes shenghai surprise?" i say, no. [ laughter ] he said, "tu sabes i am sam?" i say, no. so then i start naming my favorite movies i've seen to see if sean penn was in those. [ laughter ] >> seth: sure, yeah. >> right? so i say, was he in "space jams?" [ laughter ] he say no. i say "los hangovers?" [ laughter ] no. i say how about "star war: episode i the phantom menace?" [ laughter ] he say, no.
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naming sean penn movies. he say, "did you 'see mystic river?'" ay yay yay, i say, no! [ laughter ] he say, you see "milk?" >> seth: okay, sorry -- just real quick, i'm sorry to cut you off. how long did this back and forth with you and your lawyer go? >> about two or three hours. [ laughter ] >> seth: now another thing i read is that you -- the reason you eventually agreed to meet with sean penn is that you were interested in making a movie about your life, is that true? >> si. si. i have an idea for animated kids' movie based on my life. [ laughter ] and i play the voice of a bunny rabbit. [ laughter ] >> seth: really? >> it's called el hopo. >> seth: el hopo. that's a good name. i will say, that sounds cute. >> well, thank you. el hopo is a cute bunny with floppy ears. >> seth: oh, that's nice. >> and a furry tail and also a drug empire.
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>> seth: now, see, that doesn't sound like a kids' movie any more. >> of course it is. i mean, it is a kids' movie, because it's a bunny. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, but still, with a drug empire, i don't think so. >> okay. but do you know "inside out?" >> seth: sure. >> that movie where she has to find her "yoy?" [ laughter ] >> seth: her joy, yeah. >> you remember, she has to find her "yoy." >> seth: yeah, i remember, she has to find her joy. >> well, this is the same. but instead of finding "yoy," el hopo has to find a dog named pablo escobark. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, and is pablo escobark his friend? >> no, no, no, it's his rival. el hopo shoot him in the head. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, no. >> hop, hop, hop! bang, bang, bang! [ laughter ] >> seth: this is -- i stand by what i originally said, this is not a kids' movie. >> well, it is, seth, because i say it is. >> seth: oh, okay. i'm sorry, i wanna ask something else, shouldn't you be in jail right now? >> oh. [ laughter ] yes.
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my bad! [ door knocks ] >> open up, it's the policia! >> hide me, hide me! [ laughter ] >> we're looking for el chapo! >> el chapo! >> has anyone here seen el chapo? >> el chapo! >> seth: no, no, it's just me. [ laughter ] [ whispering ] >> and my lamp! >> seth: it's just me and my lamp. [ laughter ] >> well, if you see him, tell him to come back to jail. >> we're not joking around! >> it's time for jokes is over! >> no more jokes! >> seth: okay. ooh. they're gone. >> is it clear? >> seth: yeah. >> whew-hoo! that was a close one. >> seth: that was a close one. hey, i hope you stick around. we have a great show tonight, el chapo. great show. >> oh, who's here tonight? >> seth: we have a wonderful actress, a dear friend of mine. rashida jones is here tonight. [ cheers and applause
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>> ooh! rashida jones! [ laughter ] >> seth: she has a new show on tbs called "angie tribeca." >> you know what, i'm going to put that in my dbr. >> seth: okay, great. also, she has a new talk show called "kocktails with khloe." khloe kardashian is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> please. please tell me that cocktails is spelled with a, "k." >> seth: yes, she does spell it with a k. >> oh, perfect. [ laughter ] i'm also going to put that on my dbr. >> seth: okay, great. also, very excited about this. she's fresh off a golden globe win. the star and creator of "crazy ex-girlfriend." rachel bloom is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> yes, "crazy ex-girlfriend." i've had a few of those myself. >> seth: her show is great. you're gonna love it. >> i hope so. you know what, i might not have room on my dbr, but i try. >> seth: okay, great. thank you, everybody. give it up for el chapo!
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so go ahead. post away! hey, first kid? yeah. t-mobile's new extended range lte now reaches twice as far and is 4 times better in buildings. did you ever think we're maybe over-sharing? no. you're getting 3 here. alright? here goes. yep. [ crunching ] oh! cheddar, sour cream & onion, and salt & vinegar. wow! wow! how did you do that?! i can see through the blindfold. [ male announcer ] pringles! (cell phone rings) where are you? well the squirrels are back in the attic.
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your dad won't call an exterminator... can i call you back, mom? he says it's personal this time... if you're a mom, you call at the worst time. it's what you do. if you want to savee fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. where are you? it's very loud there. are you taking a zumba class? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," every! please, give it up for the 8g
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[ cheers and applause ] also, he's back with us tonight, he's been sitting in all week, from wilco. glenn kotche is here. give it up for glenn kotche, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] glenn has a new album, "drumkit quartets." comprised of songs he composed for, so percussion. the album is out on february 26th on cantaloupe music. and you can catch glenn, along with so percussion, performing at carnegie hall on february 12th. cannot thank you enough for the week, glenn. thank you so much for being here. >> it's been great. thank you, guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: also everybody, give it up for horatio sanz who was just with us. [ cheers and applause ] and check out his new latino youtube. it's very funny stuff. and anything that has horatio in it is very funny stuff. well, it is 2016, and needless to say, with the new year comes a lot of -- wait, i am very sorry, i could be wrong here, but i think i smell some smoke. and that could only mean one thing.
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[ cheers and applause ] welcome to burn zone! we've got a lot of topics to sizzle through. but not a lot of time. over here is the burner. let's turn on the gas and load her up. woo! [ light laughter ] first up, powerball! the powerball lottery jackpot reached over $1.5 billion. and everyone in america spent all week rushing to get in on the action. i thought there was a shooting in my bodega tuesday, but it was just eight cops buying lottery tickets. [ light laughter ] the only way to spend your money with a smaller chance of success is to donate to the jeb bush campaign. side burn jeb bush. >> side burn! [ laughter ] >> seth: did you know that the odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 292 million? that's roughly the same odds as getting struck by lightning while winning the lottery. [ laughter ] also, spare a thought for your local convenience store worker. those guys have been overwhelmed. i bought a cliff bar yesterday, and the guy muttered "good luck." [ laughter ] hey, powerball, i got your number, and ya burnt!
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hey, chapstick! where are you? i wanted soft lips, not a scavenger hunt. you're harder to find than a trump supporter in a turban. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] and why are your only flavor options cherry or hospital. oh, wait, you do come in another flavor, cherry-hospital? chapstick, wax off, wax on, ya burnt. [ applause ] surprise award winners, please, you were one of five nominees. stop acting like you won the powerball. [ laughter ] and i'm sorry, kate winslet, you're a treasure on multiple continents, but it can't possibly be a shock to you every time win something. that's like if every time barry bonds hit a home run, he went, "what, me? [ laughter ] out of the stadium?" surprise award winners, here's a shocker, ya burnt! [ applause ] turtle necks. the shirt that asks, "what if my head looked uncircumcised? [ laughter ] if i wanted to know what it's like to not have a neck, i'd just ask cee lo green. side burn cee lo.
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[ applause ] >> seth: a a mock turtle necks? here's a simple test to determine whether you should wear one. are you steve jobs? no? then no. [ laughter ] and who is the genius who names something you wear after a turtle's neck? as if anyone wanted that. [ laughter ] i think we would sell more neckties if we called them pig dicks. [ laughter ] hey turtle necks, your style is turnt, and now ya burnt. [ applause ] blair walsh. the nfl kicker who ended the vikings' season when he shanked a 27-yard field goal. look, you've been a rockstar all season. you have one of the hardest jobs in sports and no one ever gives you any credit. you may have slipped up this time, but you're still okay in my book and that's why you're this weeks unburnable. ascend strait through those goal posts to safety. [ applause ] son of a -- that's on us. that's my shank. [ laughter ] paul ryan. you sat completely stone-faced during president obama's entire state of the union address. you didn't clap when he said we should help people battling drug abuse, you didn't clap when he said america is the most powerful nation on earth. you didn't clap when he said we should cure cancer.
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cancer? [ laughter ] let's face it, you just didn't want to react to anything. look how hard you tried not to laugh when president obama made a joke. >> i know some of you are antsy to get back to iowa. [ laughter ] >> seth: you look like you're trying to hold in a mouth fart! [ laughter ] paul ryan -- more like paul fryin', because ya burnt! up next, lifelong friends. you -- [ buzzer ] oh, that buzzer means we''ve run out of time. looks like i'll have to trash your never ended love and support next time. this has been ya burnt! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with rashida jones! ahh... yeah! ahh... ahh... ah. you probably say it a million times a day. ahh... ahh! ahh...
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here in vineland, home of progresso, we figured out how to get rich ingredients like bacon into 22 light soups, so if you want 100 calories or less per serving without giving up rich flavor do what we do...make it progresso. you say avocado old el paso says... zesty chicken and avocado tacos in our stand 'n stuff tortillas . (record scratch) you say stand n' stuff tortillas old el paso says... start somewhere fresh [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our first guest tonight is a
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from her work on the hit nbc shows "the office" and "parks and recreation." she's starring as detective angie tribeca in the new tbs comedy series, which premiers this sunday night, followed by a 25-hour marathon of all 10 episodes of season 1. let's take a look. >> i'm not gonna let you risk the department's money on a gamble! >> it's only gambling if there's chance involved. and i've never lost at poker. >> the only way to get that kind of money would be to shut the police department down for a day. is that what you want? all right. let's give it a try. [ screams ] [ gunshots ] [ alarm ] >> seth: please welcome to the
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>> seth: how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> seth: you look lovely as always. >> thank you, i'm here. >> seth: i'm so happy you're finally here, because we have been friends forever. >> i know. >> seth: we have been friends for a very long time. never dated. >> never dated. >> seth: never dated. we did for a long time on your wikipedia page, it said we dated. >> yeah, we had a romantic history. >> seth: and that was big for me. [ laughter ] it was not real, but it was big. and it's really just based -- your theory is, it's based on one photo. >> 100%. it's one photo. we're also not really doing anything to each other. >> seth: we went to a movie together, and we took this photo. and that is what earned me a romantic fictional history with you. [ laughter ] >> we just look like we like each other a bunch. >> seth: we just like each other. and this is a while back. 'cause you will notice, i am wearing a hooded sweatshirt and a blazer. [ laughter ] >> with a t-shirt. >> seth: which is no longer an acceptable thing to do. and i do -- i don't wanna make a big deal about this. but see these plaid pants right
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wife and i. these pants. i kept those pants around a lot longer. >> did you lose that battle? >> seth: of course i did. [ laughter ] that's what happens when you're in a real relationship. you would have let me keep the pants. because we're not a real couple. >> that's true, 'cause we never dated. [ laughter ] >> seth: congrats on the show. that's such a perfect clip, i feel like, to exhibit what you're doing in the show. so steve carell, your ex fake boss from the office. >> better real boss than fake boss. for sure. >> seth: and he and his wife created this show. >> yes. >> seth: and how would you describe it? it's like a police procedural, but obviously this is not -- this is a comedy. >> yes, this is a comedy. it's really silly. it's deeply, deeply silly. but it's basically like, you know, there's so many procedurals on tv now that i think everybody is very aware of the cliches -- >> seth: right. >> and the tropes and the kind of, you know, the stereotypes and the archetypes on those shows. so we're kind of poking fun of that in the tone of "airplane." >> seth: yeah. >> the movie "airplane." >> seth: as much fun as an airplane. >> not an airplane. >> seth: there are so many jokes
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there is a joke a second. >> yes. >> seth: and you were playing it very straight. >> yeah. >> seth: is it difficult to play it straight when there's -- the volume of jokes is that high? >> it is, because when i first -- when steve and nancy first sent me the script, it was so funny and like so dumb. and you want to tell other -- [ laughter ] >> seth: it's world-class dumb in a great way. >> by the way, i'm saying that as a compliment. >> seth: yeah, yeah. there's a dog -- >> there's a dog. >> seth: -- that's a cop. >> yeah, we never -- his name is detective david hoffman. [ laughter ] and we never, ever point to the fact that he's a dog. he drives cars. [ laughter ] >> seth: when n shows up, you go, oh, that's a cop in the k-9 unit with a dog. and then you realize, no, he's a detective. >> no, he's just somebody's partner, david hoffman. [ laughter ] so, yeah, things like that. you have to play it so straight. because your instinct is to be like, look how funny this is right here. but you can't do that. i especially can't do it, because i'm -- i'm like, you know, i'm angie tribeca. >> seth: you're angie tribeca. you're one of the great names in the show. there's also jay geils, your partner. >> yes.
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>> seth: another friend of ours. >> hayes macarthur. >> seth: the wonderful hayes macarthur, you guys are very funny together. >> thank you. >> seth: that's excellent. >> there's danny tanner. >> seth: danny tanner, great. >> that's a "full house" reference. there's dr. scholl's. >> seth: great. >> there's just -- every name is delightful. >> seth: yeah, a full -- like you never miss a chance to like grab stupidity and just pull it close. >> yeah, we're trying to get as close to dumb at every moment as possible. >> seth: that's perfect. >> yeah. >> seth: also, your parents, quincy jones, peggy lipton, who was in the mod squad, they played your parents on the show. >> yes, they do. >> seth: was it nerve-racking to have them? i've had my parents on the show. it's always fun, but it's always a little bit more nerves -- people go, oh, it must be such a breeze having your parents there. >> no, it's a thing. i mean, my parents are really cool, but like they're my parents so they're born to sort of make me feel embarrassed. [ laughter ] like, dad, god! so, you know, just hope that they're on their best behavior and they don't say anything weird to your friends. and they were cool. they were great. >> seth: yeah, they're the coolest parents on earth.
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>> seth: i mean, you have quincy jones and peggy lipton. shame on you for being ashamed of them. >> i know, i know, i know. >> seth: i do remember years ago you were on a different show and i remember we went over to your dad's house to watch it and it was really great, because your dad, quincy jones arguably the coolest dude on earth and he couldn't figure out how his remote worked. and i was like, oh, that's all dads. [ laughter ] >> he's not an av guy, he's just a great musician. but that show actually wanted -- do you remember? >> seth: yeah! >> that was sort of -- that was the serious version of this show. it was on tnt. and i played an ex navy s.e.a.l. who -- with the lapd and i was like seriously running after the perps. >> seth: so this is like a full like 12 years later, you have come full circle. and now you're, "angie tribeca." >> making fun of myself. >> seth: yeah, there you go. your family, cool from the top down. you have a nephew who you directed a music video for him. >> yes. >> seth: and i love this music video, because you're really embracing some '90s looks. >> yes. >> seth: talk a bit about what these '90s looks are. i'm gonna hold them up. >> okay. >> seth: and now tell me true or false if you ever rocked these
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>> 100%. >> seth: okay. did you rock that? [ laughter ] >> yes! >> seth: you did? yes. >> seth: my god, you were so much cooler than i was. >> boots, bandanas, jersey. >> seth: that one? >> that's a direct rip from the mary j. blige "real love" video. >> seth: gotcha. there's a lot of tributes in your video. >> yeah, like direct steals. >> seth: oh, yeah. this one i really like. >> that's from the keith sweat "twisted" video. >> seth: okay. >> that's kevin campbell, by the way. >> seth: what's that? >> kevin campbell. >> seth: oh, my god. what's the actual name of the sorry. rewind." >> seth: "slip and rewind." this is a good version of like three hot looks. >> that's my tlc tribute. >> seth: that's great. [ laughter ] >> t-boz, left-eye, chilli. that's from the "baby baby baby" video. >> seth: did you enjoy directing your nephew's video? >> it was a dream come true. >> seth: that's great. >> because i'm stuck in the '90s. >> seth: as a person you're stuck in the '90s? >> as a person i'm stuck in the '90s. so to be able to share that with the world is really nice for me. >> seth: that's great. one last thing i want to talk about. i'm, you know, alexi's expecting. about to have a baby. >> yes. >> seth: and i'm very excited, 'cause i feel like -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i can't believe you're going to be a dad! >> seth: i know. >> you were my fake boyfriend like ten years ago.
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were we were -- we were a fake couple on a cartoon. the cartoon "the awesomes," we were a couple. and we -- our characters had a baby on "the awesomes." >> that's right. >> seth: so, i feel like that's the start. here i am with our cartoon baby. which i feel like that's definitely what our baby would look like. >> your baby is gonna look exactly like that. >> seth: exactly like that. no matter what, we're gonna give it that hairstyle. >> so cute. >> seth: so, thank you so much. because any time like alexi says like, "will you please read one of these parenting books?" i'm like, dude, i've had a cartoon baby. [ laughter ] i am so ahead of the game. >> i got it. >> seth: you do not have to worry. i know how this works. if they cry, you just write them out of the next scene. [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] the show is really funny. rashida jones. check out the premier of "angie tribeca" this sunday on tbs. and then thehe's a marathon. >> marathon, yes! >> seth: this is really cool. you can watch all 10 episodes of "angie tribeca." when's that? >> over and over again. you can start sunday night and they're airing the whole season for 25 hours. >> seth: that's fantastic. that's a lot of really
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comedy. >> that's right. >> seth: we'll be right back with khloe kardashian. [ cheers and applause ] why fit in when you were born to stand out. the 2016 nissan altima has arrived. adventures from $599, plus up to $300 to spend at sea. come seek the royal caribbean.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is one of the stars of the hit e! series, "keeping up with the kardashians."
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khloe" debuts january 20th on fyi and her book "strong looks better naked" is available now. please welcome to the show, khloe kardashian! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome! >> so happy to be here. >> seth: you look wonderful. >> why, thank you. >> seth: and congratulations. game. welcome aboard. >> i am. you know, not as intense as you. >> seth: am i intense? >> seth: tell me about your new show. [ laughter ] tell me everything about it and i'm coming at you hard, here. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that's how we do it >> five days a week is a little much. >> seth: that's true, we do -- what is -- the format of your show is very different. >> "kocktails with khloe," of course, with a k. >> seth: yes, with a k. >> and mine involves drinking. i want people to get a little [ cheers ] yeah! a little loose.
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because there's one alcoholic here. [ laughter ] >> there's one. one is all i need. >> seth: that's true, that's true. >> yeah, and you've got to have alcohol here to loosen people up a little more. >> seth: it's true. a few times we've had drinks on the show and it's a lot more fun doing it when people are drinking. >> isn't it? >> seth: it's great. >> and i have drinking games, and it will just be fun. and i have hidden cameras too, so i have 22 hidden cameras so a closed set. >> seth: if there's 22 people will be able to see them. that's too many to hide. [ laughter ] >> well, no, they're not like -- they're not like this. like i know i'm being filmed. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> a glass of champagne nearby. >> seth: do you tell people when they come over it's a talk show or do you just surprise them later? [ laughter ] >> they don't know. my house is rigged, and that's really the talk show. >> seth: has anyone -- i know you've done test shows, haven't done the show yet. has anyone gotten too drunk? >> yeah. i got my -- well, i didn't get my mom drunk. my mom -- [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, she's old enough to take responsibility. >> she is. that woman starts drinking at like 2:00 in the afternoon. [ laughter ] it's wild. but she was doing my test show, and she had one too many and i was like, what is she drinking? vodka straight. this girl is a beast. >> and she was just drinking
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and is i was like, i can't reel you in. but it was a good test. so i have to learn if someone gets too -- robbed out, i can reel them back in. >> seth: that's true. >> yeah. >> seth: it's good to test with your mom first. >> i was like, i love you, but i want to kill you at the same time. >> seth: now that was a test show. has she asked to do the real show? >> yes. she said -- i'm filming this coming monday, and she said, oh, my god, i can't wait. can i be a guest again? and i was like i love you, you can sit in the dressing room, but you can't. [ laughter ] she was stressing me out, and it's my mom so i was so much more frustrated with her. >> seth: yeah. >> i was going to kill her. >> seth: that weirdly stops being a fun talk show and starts being an episode of "intervention." >> yes! >> seth: when you're like you need to stop drinking! [ laughter ] >> that's what i should be doing. >> seth: there you go. >> intervention. >> seth: now, your show, "keeping up with the kardashians," is that format is such that i would imagine your fans feel like they know you more than they know people on other television shows they watch. >> yeah. >> seth: like, did they approach you probably differently than
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has that been the case? >> well, i, of course, don't know anything else but my fame. i hate saying that. but my own fame. >> seth: sure, that makes sense. but i've been around other -- either publicists or something. like i've never seen -- like people who know other people in the industry. like i've never seen people feel so comfortable just to say anything to you guys. and i don't know. but we share so much of our lives that they do. and i remember one time i was at bed bath and beyond and someone was like, "oh, my god, hey, let me tell you, if you want to have that baby, this is the position you need to have it." [ laughter ] and i was like, is this a part of the bed bath and the beyond? [ laughter ] i was like, what? i was so blown away. and then i looked down and she had a name tag and i realized she worked there. i thought i knew her. i was like, who just gives someone sex positions that you don't know? [ laughter ] >> seth: and at bed bath and beyond. >> but -- i know. but, i mean, good intentions. they're trying to help. >> seth: right. >> it's sweet. but it's awkward. >> seth: and how did the positions work? >> i'm not pregnant! so they didn't work.
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god, have you written a letter to bed bath and beyond? [ laughter ] >> i should file a complaint. >> seth: there you go. i want to talk about your book, as well. "strong looks better naked." i was going to write a book with the same title. now you took it, i can't. [ laughter ] >> i know, sorry. >> seth: now, i have heard, is this true? that you -- it was harder than you thought to write this book. >> yeah. i didn't realize how like emotionally attached i was going to get to it. and then every word it's like -- i had a ghost writer that was helping me. and i would -- we would do everything together. then he would go put everything in writers format. >> seth: just for people who don't know. that's not a ghost who helps you write it. that's a writer who doesn't put his name on it. >> it's a real person. he helps me write it. and yeah, not a real ghost. but sometimes if the words weren't -- i fell so in love with it and i was super controlling, believe it or not. girls are controlling. and i would -- i probably rewrote it like 18 to 20 something times. >> seth: are you happy with how it turned out? >> yeah, i love how it turned out. >> seth: that's great. >> but you can tell it's from my voice. >> seth: very good. sorry, ghost. >> yeah, sorry ghost.
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bye, ghost. >> seth: one last thing i want to ask about "keeping up with the kardashians." obviously, you have your family. have there ever been times when you're watching an episode and you hear something your sisters said about you like for the first time on the show? >> all the time. >> seth: do you ever see that and react and think, why -- what? >> yeah, no. all of the time. and we will have, like, evil groups -- texts going on. like, what? okay? for example, in the hamptons when kourtney and i were out there filming, i know i gained some weight. that's okay. >> seth: yeah. >> kourtney was pregnant so i felt i had the right to eat everything she did. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's the support. you were supporting. >> i was supporting her! and kimberly was like, "dang, khloe's ass is so fat." [ audience ohs ] why couldn't she just tell me? and i didn't know until three months later until i watched on the episode. [ laughter ] so i said why couldn't you just tell me, you could have motivated me to lose some weight. >> seth: but instead, she like just dropped -- >> she just completely, yeah. >> seth: a time bomb that was going to go off in three months. >> right? and was just talking crap about me. but it happens all of the time. >> seth: now, you might not know this about talk shows.
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somebody has you on as a guest, you've got to repay the favor. so i look forward to my first drink. >> oh, my god, yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: khloe kardashian everybody. "kocktails with khloe" permieres january 20th on fyi, and "strong looks better naked." is availible in bookstores now. we'll be right back with rachel bloom. oh my gosh, stephanie. we're, like, so goth. we're, like, goth goth. sfx: knocks on door. honey? i'm dying my hair, mom. hair dye? no, not in my bathroom! relax, mom. honey, just let me in! sfx: door rattling. no. tiffany! no. tiffany! it's just purple. teenage daughter? get scrubbing bubbles. kill 99.9% of germs and destroy didi and grime. you only need scrubbing bubbles disinfecting cleaners for 100% problem solved. we work hard, so you don't have to.
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