>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! thanks so much! thank you, los angeles -- [ cheers and applause ] for having us here. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. you made it. [ cheers and applause ] this is what i'm talking about. all right. i'm your host, jimmy fallon. guys, this is our last show in l.a. a week. we've been checking in on the local news here. and i saw that the godzilla el nino weather pattern -- [ laughter ] that was supposed to drench los angeles this winter seems to be fading away. but don't worry usually anything that fades away in hollywood just ends up on "dancing with the stars." [ laughter and applause ] you'll see 'em. so don't worry. they'll be back. >> steve: godzilla el nino doing the mamba. >> jimmy: guys, this is cool. i read that president obama was spotted at a steak restaurant in d.c. this week with morgan freeman and tom hanks. they didn't even order anything. they just closed their eyes and listened to morgan freeman read >> artichoke dip. crab cakes. jalapeno poppers.
. >> jimmy: yeah. >> not gonna give you nothing, fallon. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it feels heavy. the thunk feels heavy. >> well, okay, okay, okay. here's my read. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, okay, okay. no reaction. stone faced. no reaction. [ laughter and applause ] audience is laughing. they're having a good time. vince, what is in your box? >> well james, your crack staff has outdone it this time. [ laughter ] they have cooked up -- >> jimmy: cooked, that's a a hint. [ light laughter ] food, it's food. you already, you already lost. >> a dish. >> jimmy: yeah. it is a dish, cooked. [ laughter ] >> a bunch of crayons and a a large incredible hulk action doll. [ laughter and applause ] l >> jimmy: dish, bunch of crayons and an incredible hulk action doll. not action figure. no one says action doll. [ light laughter ] action doll. >> i'll be here -- doll. >> i'll be here when you're [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: unbelievable. unbeliveable. vince vaughn, you lie! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. you're good, you're good, vince vaughn. [ audience yell
and it's me and jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] yeah! >> jimmy: it starts with me and then it ends up just being pictures of your breakfast and stuff. yeah, yeah. you get bored pretty quick. >> or somebody good. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it's like some -- or somebody good. thank you, i appreciate that. [ laughter ] oh man, you're gonna sla -- you're gonna get slapped buddy. gerard and i are about to play a game called slapjack. now it works the same as blackjack but at the end of each round, the winner gets to slap the loser across the face with a giant prosthetic hand. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> finally, finally a hand i can hold my penis with. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you know how many years i've waited for this moment? [ laughter ] sadly i said the same thing with baby arms. [ laughter and applause ] the first to win three rounds is the winner. we take turns dealing. no splits and if it's a tie, the dealer loses. gerard, as our guest, you're going to deal first. two cards each. loser gets slapped. here we go, b
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