jimmy kimmel is next. eyewitness news returns tomorrow morning at 4:30 with ken rosato and lori stokes. for all of us here at eyewitness news, make it a great night, everyone. >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator ted cruz -- from "meet the blacks," mike epps -- and music from st. lucia. with cleto and the cletones. jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. we have a very interesting show tonight. headlined by texas senator and republican candidate for president ted cruz. and let me just say if ted cruz is even half as attractive in person as his sister penelope, we are in for a real treat. ted cruz went, in case you don't know much about him, went to college at princeton and harvard law. he didn't have the trades to get into trump university and it caused a rift between them that continues to this day. on the show i get so much angry feedback

jimmy kimmel made sure i'm on jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: they want people to call me jimmy kimmel. they want people to call me jimmy kimmel. you call me both. the "b" is for both. >> i'm being honest with you. give thanks that we're saying your name in a great way. >> jimmy: right, right. >> that's all that matters. >> jimmy: you i'm grateful. >> i'm going to teach you how to use snapchat. what you're going to do is hold this button. right? then you're going to be like, sneaker talk! reveal it! when they reveal it, major key alert! you got to know how to angle it. you got to swag it out. know how to angle it like this. look. >> jimmy: that's going to be hard for me. >> angle, like it's a vibe. you got to -- know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: yeah. all right. what do i say at the beginning? >> sneaker talk! >> jimmy: sneaker talk! major key alert! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love the internet. >> well, i love your style, man. now you put your caption. >> jimmy: right. >> on yours. i want to put major key alert, know what i'm saying, because i think they'll talk abo

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's " jimmy kimmel live" ! tonight -- henry cavill. empire," gabourey sidibe. snapchatting with dj khaled. and music from flogging molly. with cleto and the cletones. and now, good luck, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. happy st. patrick's day to all of you. i see a lot of green shirts in the audience. here in l.a. we celebrate a little differently than the rest of the places. we don't have pots of gold, we have pots of pot here. we call them medical marijuana dispensaries. st. patrick's day in america is the best day to be irish and the worst day to be an uber driver. legend has it, i looked this up, st. patrick used the image of a shamrock, the three-leafed clover, to teach the doctrine of the holy trinity, the father, the son, and the holy ghost. then he got everyone totally smashed, really super drunk, and they told holy ghost stories the st. patrick trove the snakes out of ireland he went to mexico and drove the worms into the

"jimmy kimmel live" hillary clinton. >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, hillary clinton, from "the catch," peter krause, and music from fifth harmony. with cleto and the cletones. and now, and not a moment too soon, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank henry cavill, gabby sidibe, dj khaled, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, here with the song "the hand of john l. sullivan" flogging molly. [ cheers and applause ] i am the man with the plan to shake the hand of john l. sullivan a fighter 'til the end legend he will be and if any man should ask if any man could carry i'm the man with the plan to shake the hand you may be tough but you'll never knock him down he is a towering god but not our sacred cow he may be caught but never on the ropes he is a diamond cut for every poor man's hope he was always glad to meet ya he's the champion of the people the first and last name ever to be spoke now i'm the man with the plan to shake the hand of john l. sullivan a fighter 'til the end a legend he will be and if any man should ask if any man could carry i'm the man with the plan to shake the hand of john l. sullivan the hand of glove and nothing mor

and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]

here is a look at what's coming up on gem me kimmel live -- on "jimmy kimmel live." >> thanks, dan and ama. sharing is caring on sharing this with you. >> this daytime talk show, what is is the name of the show? >> it is called harry, oddly enough. >> we toyed around with different names. >> what were the names? >> duane. (vo) making the most out of every mile. that's why i got a subaru impreza. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. of the bay area, this is abc7 fuse. >>> four years ago today sierra lamar was last seen leaving her morgan hill home. tonight those who knew her best got together to remember her as they plan to resume the search for the missing teenager. new at 11:00, lilian kim is live in fremont with the story. lilian? >> reporter: ama, sierra lamar lived in fremont before moving to morgan hill. el patio is one of her favorite restaurants and that's why friends and family chose to gather here tonight. they are in college now, see sierra lamar's childhood friends. not a moment goes by when they don't think of her. she was 15 years old when she disappeared on her way t

kimmel and dj khaled. we're cocoa buttering up and we want you to have cocoa butter too. >> live life smooth. enjoy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, dj khaled. music from flogging molly, gabourey sidibe is here, be right back with superman henry cavill! icky: portions of " are brought to you by the brewers of guinness, who want to wish you a happy st. patrick's day. please drink responsibly. man, i might just chill tonight.y... puppymonkeybaby... puppymonkeybaby... puppymonkeybaby... puppy...onkey... ...baby ...puppymonkeybaby... puppymonkeybaby... rt. dew. juice. caffeine. whaaaaat? i can pour this champagne on my phone and it still work. whaaaaat? [phone ringing] kenny, i'm 'bout to put whaaaaat? that's crazy.l cracking] your phone can't do that max. here, i have another one. (all three) whaaaaaat?! t is a genuine "name your price" tool. this highly sought-after device from progressive can be yours for... twenty grand? -no! we are giving it away for just 3 easy payments of $4.99 plus tax!owing up! we'v

ted cruz is on "jimmy kimmel >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator ted cruz -- from "meet the blacks," mike epps -- and music from st. lucia. with cleto and the cletones. and now, hold on fast -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy, jimmy kimmel, what are you doing out here? >> jimmy: my mom got me this camera, i figured i'd get a few shots. >> don't you have the "after the oscars" special tonight? >> jimmy: yeah, but -- did you get a gift basket? can i get some of that nourishing lotion? yo, chris. did leta rock it tonight? chris, who are you wearing? chris! i didn't find out who you're wearing! i need to know who you're wearing! >> dicky: from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars"! tonight - ben affleck, tracy morgan, henry cavill, jesse isenberg, j.k. simmons, will arnett, nathan lane, matthew broderick, mike tyson, and less. plus we go live to the governors ball. presented by samsung. with cleto and the cletones. and now -- lights, camera, action - here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i was not expecting it. thank you. i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. thanks for staying up. i know it's late for a sunday night but welcome to our 11th annual after the oscars special. the statues have been handed out, the

kimmel live"! tonight -- senator bernie sanders! tom hiddleston! and music from granger smith! with cleto and the cletones! and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]

"jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- harrison ford, elizabeth olsen, and music from cam. with cleto and the cletones! and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, viola davis, from "the brothers grimsby," isla fisher, "this week in unnecessary censorship" -- and music from the suffers with cleto and the cletones. and now, if i'm not mistaken, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

kimmel live"! tonight, viola davis, from "the brothers grimsby," isla fisher, "this week in unnecessary censorship" -- and music from the suffers with cleto and the cletones. and now, if i'm not mistaken, here's jimmy kimmel!

my giant. >>> and now, abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, viola davis, from "the brothers grimsby," isla fisher, "this week in unnecessary censorship" -- and music from the suffers with cleto and the cletones. and now, if i'm not mistaken, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

jimmy kimmel is next. eyewitness news returns tomorrow >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight louis ck. from "nashville," connie britton. and music from the wild feathers. with cleto and the cletones. and now, en garde -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you very much.

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator ted cruz -- from "meet the blacks," mike epps -- and music from st. lucia. with cleto and the cletones. and now, hold on fast -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

steve: >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- harry connick jr. from "dancing with the stars," erin andrews. and music from 2 chainz and lil wayne in austin, texas. with cleto and the cletones. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm the host, jimmy. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. welcome to hollywood. a suburb of los angeles. los angeles, part of california. california, part of the united states of america. which according to the annual world happiness report is the 13th happiest country in the world. we might have just dropped to 17th, i don't know. you know what the happiest country in the world is? denmark. [ cheers and applause ] danish people are the happy. of course they're happy, they

"jimmy kimmel live!" tonight louis ck. from "nashville," connie britton. and music from the wild feathers. with cleto and the cletones. and now, en garde -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

kimmel live"! tonight -- senator bernie sanders! tom hiddleston! and music from granger smith! with cleto and the cletones! and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] looking around. i don't know how this group got through the secret service, but i'm glad you did. we have a senator. maybe even future president of the united states in the house. bernie sanders is here. [ cheers and applause ] bernie sanders has ignited a lot of passion, primarily among young people. and the incredible thing is he did it without posting even a single nude selfie. [ laughter ] bernie can get very fired up. i watch him on these debates. but remember, if it seems like he's yelling at you, it's because he is yelling at you and you deserve it. [ laughter ] my favorite part about watching bernie in debates is how he's always got his finger up like he's trying to f

. >>> and now abc's jimmy kimmel live. >> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- harrison ford, elizabeth olsen, and music from cam. with cleto and the cletones! and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight andy samberg. from "zootopia," ginnifer goodwin. and music from the strumbellas. with cleto and the cletones. and reserve and now, glory be here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i had no idea people got so excited about leap day. happy leap day to you too. i hope you didn't forget to set your calendar back a day. welcome to hollywood where the oscars are over, the cleanup across the street is under way. did you know they make the losing nominees stay after to clean up? cate blanchett with a big bag of garbage this morning, very sad. it's a big shob job. we spent the day in our studio trying to get the stench of matt damon out of the place. little weasel. the red carpet's been rolled up. we are back to normal. normal for us is watching crackheads fight over a to go container of fried rice. but normal is whatever it is. the day after the oscars i'll ilsay is always more fun than the day of the

"jimmy kimmel live after the oscars"! tonight - ben affleck, tracy morgan, henry cavill, jesse isenberg, j.k. simmons, will arnett, nathan lane, matthew broderick, mike tyson, and less. plus we go live to the governors ball. presented by samsung. with cleto and the cletones. and now -- lights, camera, action - here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i was not expecting it. thank you. thanks for staying up. i know it's late for a sunday night but welcome to our 11th annual after the oscars special. the statues have been handed out, the speeches have been spoken, and once again i was not invited to any of the after parties so here we are together. [ cheers and applause ] making the best of it. it was a night of controversy. it was a night of awareness. it was a night of a lot of uncomfortable famous white people trying to make sure they clapped when the cameras were on them. as you know there were no black nominees in the acting categories. tonight's oscar hopefuls were whiter than the line to buy

jimmy kimmel live is next. "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, jason bateman -- from "how to get away with murder", aja naomi king. this week in unnecessary censorship -- and music from ceelo green with cleto and the cletones. and now, if there is no further questions, here's jimmy kimmel! thanks for coming. >> jimmy: we have so much to get to tonight. we have so many important things tonight. i'm going to solve all your problems tonight but first, i have a joke from my mother. my mother texted me a joke this morning. a donald trump joke. do you want to hear it? [ applause ] >> jimmy: the correct answer is no. all right. so this came in. it came in at 10:05:00 a.m. we used to love donald duck. now we have another donald that makes us want to duck. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now you see where i get it. actually took time. oh i got a good one and typed it. sent it to me. but as funny as my mother is she has nothing on mitt romney. i'll tell you that. mitt romney this morning made a televised speech in which he he called him a phony

and now, stay right where you are, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator ted cruz -- from "meet the blacks," mike epps -- and music from st. lucia. with cleto and the cletones. and now, hold on fast -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight andy samberg. from "zootopia," ginnifer goodwin. and music from the strumbellas. with cleto and the cletones. and reserve and now, glory be here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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