>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! thanks so much! thank you, los angeles -- [ cheers and applause ] for having us here. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. you made it. [ cheers and applause ] this is what i'm talking about. all right. i'm your host, jimmy fallon. guys, this is our last show in l.a. a week. we've been checking in on the local news here. and i saw that the godzilla el nino weather pattern -- [ laughter ] that was supposed to drench los angeles this winter seems to be fading away. but don't worry usually anything that fades away in hollywood just ends up on "dancing with the stars." [ laughter and applause ] you'll see 'em. so don't worry. they'll be back. >> steve: godzilla el nino doing the mamba. >> jimmy: guys, this is cool. i read that president obama was spotted at a steak restaurant in d.c. this week with morgan freeman and tom hanks. they didn't even order anything. they just closed their eyes and listened to morgan freeman read >> artichoke dip. crab cakes. jalapeno poppers.
[ cheers ] belding. [ laughter ] >> and right over there is our newest friend, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> hey jimmy! >> jimmy: oh, hey zach! how's it going? >> oh, you know, typical day. i woke up in the morning, the alarm gave out a warning, i didn't think i'd ever make it on time. [ laughter ] by the time i grabbed my books, and i gave myself a look, i was at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by. [ laughter ]
>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody! glad to see you. that's what i'm talking about. new york city, please, please, please. everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] this is it. hearing. [ cheers and applause ] there's nothing like this. there's nothing like -- come on. oh, my gosh. so happy to be back. good to see you roots. good to see you higgins. good to see everybody here. thank you for being here, thank you for watching at home, and now let's get to some stories so we can make fun of everybody. here we go. [ laughter ] after doing poorly in iowa, new hampshire, and south carolina, jeb bush announced on saturday night that he is dropping out of the race. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] of course -- [ laughter ] of course, that means marco rubio and ted cruz are both hoping to pick up jeb's supporters. yeah. and jeb was like, "joke's on you. i didn't have any supporters. ah! [ laughter ] i got you!" [ cheers and applause ] that's right
and it's me and jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] yeah! >> jimmy: it starts with me and then it ends up just being pictures of your breakfast and stuff. yeah, yeah. you get bored pretty quick. >> or somebody good. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it's like some -- or somebody good. thank you, i appreciate that. [ laughter ] oh man, you're gonna sla -- you're gonna get slapped buddy. gerard and i are about to play a game called slapjack. now it works the same as blackjack but at the end of each round, the winner gets to slap the loser across the face with a giant prosthetic hand. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> finally, finally a hand i can hold my penis with. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you know how many years i've waited for this moment? [ laughter ] sadly i said the same thing with baby arms. [ laughter and applause ] the first to win three rounds is the winner. we take turns dealing. no splits and if it's a tie, the dealer loses. gerard, as our guest, you're going to deal first. two cards each. loser gets slapped. here we go, b
. >> jimmy: yeah. >> not gonna give you nothing, fallon. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it feels heavy. the thunk feels heavy. >> well, okay, okay, okay. here's my read. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, okay, okay. no reaction. stone faced. no reaction. [ laughter and applause ] audience is laughing. they're having a good time. vince, what is in your box? >> well james, your crack staff has outdone it this time. [ laughter ] they have cooked up -- >> jimmy: cooked, that's a a hint. [ light laughter ] food, it's food. you already, you already lost. >> a dish. >> jimmy: yeah. it is a dish, cooked. [ laughter ] >> a bunch of crayons and a a large incredible hulk action doll. [ laughter and applause ] l >> jimmy: dish, bunch of crayons and an incredible hulk action doll. not action figure. no one says action doll. [ light laughter ] action doll. >> i'll be here -- doll. >> i'll be here when you're [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: unbelievable. unbeliveable. vince vaughn, you lie! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. you're good, you're good, vince vaughn. [ audience yell
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