(cheers and applause) >> stephen: yes. and ron paul, you should dress up as merlin. now. let into gold, lead into gold. now basing all your laws on 13th century english treaties sits moderate new hampshire-- fits moderate new hampshire but south carolina is next so they're going want to go back even further. south carolina is a big military state so newt gingrich try citing roman lawmaker cato the elder speeches against cartaage i think we stand with vipio africannus to help hannibal in crossing the all s and impose sanctions to keep parthian from acquiring parky determine technology. and rick santorum when you get to florida, are you going to want to pitch your replacement for obama care so go all the way back to the babylonian code of hamarabbi. an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth that covers both vision and dental. of course, as the primaries go on the candidates will need to cite older and older stuff like cave paintings and whatever was in the pockets of octi the iceman because when are you a republican candidate the only way to lead america not future is by tying

. >> stephen: if romney wins on saturday, should newton and ron paul an perry and santorum get out of the race? >> they're going to have to very soon because the money will dry up. >> stephen: for the good of the party? >> i think in some ways debates are good. >> stephen: yes or no, should they get out? >> i think that i would like to see this over as rapidly as possible and allow romney to start competing for the votes of the american public as a whole and not just to the small part of it that takes part in republican primaries. >> what about third-party candidates? in the same poll, in a three-way race, i would get 13% running as an independent. [cheering and applause] >> i've be thinking a lot about your speech at the tampa convention. >> i have, too. >> and i think... >> stephen: i think they owe me at this point at least like a 3:00 a.m. spot. >> you've locked down the republican base. i think we need to broaden your appeal to moderates and independents. >> stephen: should i just pretend i believe things i don't so i can win like romney? [cheering and applause] >> don't you do t

i mean ron paul got traction. i mean a pizza magazinenat got traction. a fat man with orange skin got traction. why didn't you get traction? >> you know, i hate to go down a cubbee hole here but i was excluded from the debates because i didn't have a certain showing in polls where my name didn't appear in the poll. >> stephen: so you didn't register 2% in stand in polls but your name was also not included. >> not included. that's a tough audience. >> that si a tough one to crack. i think my message is the same as ron paul. i don't think ron paul is going to get the republican nomination. so what happens to this message when he ends up getting out of the race? i think this is important for america. i think really addressing the issues that this country is facing, fiscal issues, balancing the federal budget and then on the social side, the notion that we should and are socially tolerant. >> stephen: . >> keep government out of the bedroom. >> stephen: okay. now are you presently, are you presently in straw bolls leading on the libertarian side, correct? >>

(laughter). >> stephen: how about ron paul? very fashion gnat following there. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. ooh! >> stephen: newt gingrich. >> ugh. ugh. hmm. >> stephen: rick perry. >> huh? >> stephen: perry! >> oh! (mumbles). >> stephen: so you're not excited about any of the candidates? >> well, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. >> stephen: well, i'll let you get to the caucus. good luck deciding who will be the next president of the united states. >> (sighs) yeah. (cheers and applause) all right, evidently the iowa voter is a poor predictor of what the iowa voter will do but ladies and gentlemen i am still committed to making a definitive call on this race based on little or no evidence leaving me only one sure fire journalistic alternative, psychic invertebrates. now, you may remember paul the octopus who correctly pick sod many winners who n the 2010 world cup. unfortunately, paul died in 20 2010. our thoughts and lemon wedges are with him. but, nation, it stands to reason that other mollusks like paul have clairvoyance so determine-to-determine the winner of the 2012 republica

they got the two guys they wanted to run against, ron paul and rick santorum. the problem is there's 75% of the people in the republican party who don't want to vote for mitt romney. >> stephen: why don't they have, when the time come, i'll hold my nose and think of england. >> it's close your eyes and think of england... >> stephen: no, you've got to keep your eyes open to know what you're doing. >> even if it's newt gingrich? >> stephen: you know it's newt gingrich. what am i talking about? >> i have no idea. the 75% of the republicans who don't want mitt romney? >> what about the hard-core conservatives who want hard-core conservative. do they not get a voice? they're the vast majority. >> this is the threat that romney faces is having now effectively gotten michele bachmann out of the race for real, rick perry is probably more or less out of the race. you could see a consolidation of the conservative hard core tea party party, evangelicals around rick santorum in south carolina as gingrich does the things that you describe, destroying romney, laying waste,

he doesn't get enough from ron paul so he has to get them from gingrich or santorum. neither would give them to romney. one of the two of those is more likely given that scenario could be president. >> stephen: do you think we might have a santorum running for president of the united states for the republican party? >> it's a strong possibility, sure. >> stephen: that is fun. [ laughter ] thank you so much! cofounder of no labels, mark [cheers and applause] >> stephen: t dee: well, what's wrong with sleeves? mac: nothing's wrong with sleeves. i cut them off sometimes because it looks tough. - dennis: doesn't look tough. - dee: no, it doesn't. whoa, whoa. what's that bum doing? i hope he's peeing. i don't think that's what he's doing, dude. why is he smiling at me?

he doesn't get enough from ron paul so he has to get them from gingrich or santorum. neither would give them to romney. one of the two of those is more likely given that scenario could be president. >> stephen: do you think we might have a santorum running for president of the united states for the republican party? >> it's a strong possibility, sure. >> stephen: that is fun. [ laughter ] thank you so much! cofounder of no labels, mark

he doesn't get enough from ron paul so he has to get them from gingrich or santorum. neither would give them to romney. one of the two of those is more likely given that scenario could be president. >> stephen: do you think we might have a santorum running for president of the united states for the republican party? >> it's a strong possibility, sure. >> stephen: that is fun. [ laughter ] thank you so much! cofounder of no labels, mark vo: look! at old navy funnovations inc. the hello dresses are in full bloom! thanks to our bee bots and chief floral officer. mayim: let's put these petals to the metal! hello bold! hello adorable! hellooo... joe? joey: woah! vo: get woah's in hello dresses from $15. girls from $10. old navy. come fun, come all! >> stephen: t

he doesn't get enough from ron paul so he has to get them from gingrich or santorum. neither would give them to romney. one of the two of those is more likely given that scenario could be president. >> stephen: do you think we might have a santorum running for president of the united states for the republican party? >> it's a strong possibility, sure. >> stephen: that is fun. [ laughter ] thank you so much! cofounder of no labels, mark an airline has planes... and people. and the planes can seem the same so, it comes down to the people. because, bad weather the price of oil those are every airlines reality. and solutions won't come from 500 tons of metal and a paint job. they'll come from people. delta people. who made us one of the biggest airlines in the world. and then decided that wasn't enough.

. >> santorum supporters, why do you believe that ron paul would be in some sort of conspiracy to help mitt romney and you know what they said to mekong man? you want know tell you, right? >> stephen: tonight tr +*rbgs's a new way to help out the poor-- but don't worry, there's still dozens of ways not to. (laughter) then, the contraception debate heats up. note: heating it up is not an effective form of contraception. (laughter) and my guest is actor william shatner. good, because the studio has a massive triple infestation. (laughter) north korea agrees to suspend its nuclear program. kim jong-il must be rolling over in his shoe box! this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the "report"! (crowd chanting "stephen") that's good stuff. (cheers and applause) thank you, ladies and gentlemen. i can tell even from this distance that that stuff is pure and uncut. (laughter) good to have you with us, folks, nation two big g.o.p. primaries la